It’s not a secret.
It’s not a superpower.
I will be yours forever.
Falling -

Gently, you whisper.
Dust particles surf the light.
The blue of your eyes;
Oceans.

I felt it only once.
Hip to hip,
One seat for us both:
Sharing.

He can make you marvellous.
He can make you real.
I know because I am,
Now.

The day of love;
The tan and the silk.
I believed you then;
Once.

The person I was is not who I know.
You were always a mystery.
There was no room for me:
Ego.

He asked me once
Why I was around:
These years were mine to hold,
Individually.

A silver van for a golden man.
Two years boxed in.
One too many lies:
Excuses.

Temporary and insignificant:
It all came with the package.
All out of view of the shot,
Hidden.

Did you learn what it was to be a man?
It hit me in the moment,
And, again, since.
Twice.

Respect and sincerity,
Trust and commitment.
Appearance in forms:
Clean.

It applies to us both.
Our souls did not dance.
The sun did not shine,
Often.

The smog skewed my view.
I was an imposter.
I said too much at once:
Insecure.

Sitting there, silent,
I soaked it in.
Few words were spoken but I was released:
Free.

Once, we thought about meadows;
Brushing hands so gently above the tips of the grass.
One might have been offended by the trespass.
Then again, they did not know.

And once we thought about the future:
The stream of light echoing through the cracks.
We did not think of obstacles,
Or circuits, at all.

Too early the years came.
When that excitement became fright.
Those lights dimmed down, low.
The obstacles became barriers.

And at once it rushed through me.
I have to kneel to see it the same way.
We are unable to stand still.
The cracks were closed in.

I stand here today:
The mayor of this broken town;
The president you needed;
The one to lead us home.

Except today, you sit.
You do not feel joyous.
You do not believe.
You have fallen, clutching for dear life.

Tomorrow, I think, will be more.
Lustrous I am, at the thought:
Of my own words;
Of my own promises.

Give to you what I plan for me,
Giving back what I did not take.
Tomorrow, you will have more than today,
You will have more than you could ever dream.

Realism was never my strong point.
I stand here full of dreams.
I stand here with less than you need.
But I stand here.

Because yesterday was the worst of all.
Yesterday broke us.
Yesterday took a piece of us with it,
Took more than we can replace.

You sit quietly, teasing the words from my mouth.
It is you I stand here for.
Your soulless eyes waiting,
For me, for more.

I'm done, take the bag from my back.
Take the coat from my shoulders and let me fall.
All of my insecurities, all of my dreams,
Have lead me here.

Where are you in my coldest hours?
In the moments I stand still.
Broken by the shards of life that blew up in your face,
Not the ones that fell from mine.

I take each step I can, facing forward;
Etching onward, slowly and oblivious.
But you coax me to you,
You bring me back to you.

Letting go of the belief,
Of the intent I stacked up in your favour.
Letting go of it was the hardest thing,
So I couldn't do it. I never did.

Sitting in that booth, face to face:
Colours flickered, the world glitched.
Those shards of me, the broken pieces,
They trembled softly.

Each one lifted by the desire,
Troubled by the change.
I tried to collect them up,
I wanted to, more than anything.

Instead I left them there,
I did not break them further,
And I pulled myself back to reality.
Out of stillness.

And though the shards remain,
They have been smoothed at the edges.
They are not sharp to touch,
But they will never fit again.

Hold on to your dreams, my darling.
I know things have not been as you imagined.
Think of tables overturning,
Steel-topped boots stomping.
Think of feathers flowing in the draught,
The whispers, circulating the halls.
Think of home,
And the answers you found.

Hold on to the joy, my love.
That fell on your shoulders,
Just as your hair, those beautiful curls,
And that red dress,
Flowing to your knees.
Think of that smile and every other that followed.

Hold on to the hope you had, my dear.
You held on for so long already.
Think about the days that are coming,
The sunrises at dawn,
The sunsets at dusk.
Think of the pavements you have yet to set foot upon,
And the eyes you have yet to meet.

Hold on to the person you were, my heart.
The person you now need most.
Think of the fear that shook your breathe,
The frost that froze your toes,
And the tears that fell from those blue, blue eyes.
Think of the promises you swore in secrecy,
Those weighted words,
Those truths.

Hold on to the faith you keep deep down, sweetheart.
It will get you through the darkest hours.
Think of the lights that have been extinguished,
The ashes that have been poured back to the Earth.
Think of the love that you aim up to the sky,
The unrequited warmth you send to the world,
Think about moving forward.
Think about how far you've moved since.

Hold on to the words you heard before,
The ones that still bounce around within.
Think about the essence of their details,
The lips they fell out of,
The way they made you feel.
Think about those words when you're moving,
Build a home for them within,
Visit from time to time.

And hold on to all the reasons why.
Hold on as tight as you can.
Keep them locked up in your fortress,
Away from the world outside.

Talk to me, in sweet melodies,
In a language my heart will understand.
Sweep me up into arms of strength,
And drop me gently, so I stand.

Take me into your glorious heat,
Introduce a world of painted teal.
Direct me to a path into the light.
Show me something real.

Capture the blue that's taken residence,
And release it back into the distance of the skies.
Hold me under blanketing stars, and the moon.
Promise me, deeply, into my eyes.

And hold on to that promise.
Remain honest, to yourself, and to me.
Then you can leave me safely, unaltered,
And we'll both be free.

If, day by day, your smell fades
And the distance between us grows
Larger and larger:
At least then I'll accept you've left me.

And if, with each minute, the sound of your voice
Stops echoing in my ears;
Your ego and it's reflection, pouring upon my world:
At least I will regain the ability to see.

If each moment of our relationship
Slips away, from beauty and truth,
To the lies that I now know:
At least it will be over for real.

And if with each day I stop loving you;
I stop yearning your hands, your arms and shadow,
Syncing with mine, in the light:
And least then I will truly feel.