Behind a window,
A foolish wren
Calls a siren a liar.
Though he knows well
That is untrue.

Why does she tell so many lies,
Still?
Why is the wren in such awe of her,
Still?

He is alone now.

The Wren knows well
That the dread he feels
Comes not from hell
But the hope he steals
From nothing-
It’s baseless
In the face of the truth
Of the fact that the Siren
Fears conversation.

The Wren knows well
That the Siren knows well
What it means to feel pain
So to hurt someone else
Is just what it means
To yearn for what’s lost
And forget about what was had.

The Wren knows well
That the Siren knows well
That the Wren knows well
Of the pleasure it felt
As it burned up its tongue
And sang from its lungs
A song about feeling weak.
But the Siren was silent
As she stretched out her wings,
And screamed his heart shut
Til the Wren was hurting,
So imagine the pain
That he felt on that day
When a beanbag was sewn to his beak.
The Wren had always been meek.

This lovely phase,
This lovely self-
Inflicted pain?

The lovely minutes
Of the deepest dread
As a lovely song
Removes my head.

A lovely day
Chopped up in parts
Of the ignorance
Of a lonely heart
That cannot have
The lovely harp
That once begged for its love so readily.
And when it stopped,
The silence fell heavily.

I wish I could know you longer.
Talking to you,
I open up so much more
Of what I had hidden.
I can never wait
To talk with you again.

I know I've told you a lot,
But I love how simple you are.
I love your enthusiasm
And how cute you can be.
Sometimes you can be awkward,
And quiet,
And we end up sitting in silence,
But I love those moments too.

I love how cool
And accepting you are.
I love the worry
On your face when you
Think about how long I'll be gone.
I wonder what face you'll make
When you think of how long
It'd have taken me to come back.

Though, I think I hate you.
I've spent so long-
So much time-
So many years-
So many months-
So many seasons-
Just avoiding feeling.

I hate you.
You come along and it feels like
I'd be betraying myself,
And you,
If I told you a lie.
I feel so sick with myself.
Pouring my thoughts,
And my feelings,
Into this letter I call a poem
Just to make writing this feel
More natural.

I hate you.
You make me feel so ****
Selfish.
You make me feel so strangely
Sleepy.
You make me feel so much
Fear.
I fear that you'll become important to me.
I fear that I'm already important to you.
I fear that while I'm gone,
I'll lose you.
I don't know what to.
Maybe to yourself.
God, I hope it isn't to yourself
I feel so sick.

I wish I could know you longer.
Talking to you,
I don't think I want to stop.
This is so new.
Even now,
I want to hear you again.

I want to disassociate again.
I want to take every tie I have
And set it all on fire.
I want to gather its ashes
And I want to burn them all over again.
I want to see my own blood
Flow from my hand
To my wrist
To my elbow
To the floor?
Why?

Why am I like this?
Why does it all go away
When I'm with you?
I hate this so ******* much.
I should stop.
I don't want to feel anything anymore.
I want you to forget about me.
I don't want you to hate me.
I don't want to forget you.
I don't want to hate you.
I don't hate you.
I swear I don't, so please just-
Ok. I've decided

I don't know what this is,
But I know what I think this is.
After so much time of nothing
It's all it can be.
After so much time
If keeping everything quiet,
I can finally talk,
But this is the one thing I can't say.
I can't even write it out.
How ridiculous is that?

At the beginning of this,
I made a wish.
Recently,
You shared that same wish with me.
I wonder how long that'll last.
I've already lost someone.
I learned that
Someone I loved is gone,
And I wanted it all to end just then, but
That's not how it ends.
It will never be over, and
More will surely follow.
How long will this fear follow me?

I'm so sorry.
Knowing you, you'll probably
Feel responsible for all this
And worry about me,
And worry about all these other thoughts
That I fail to put into words.
I don't deserve it
But I feel like you don't care about that.

I'm sorry.
I feel so awful writing this,
But I'm going to wait.
I'm going to wait all that time
And every chance I'll get,
I'll come find you.
I'll find you and we'll talk
And talk
And talk
And talk
Until I have to leave again.

One day, I won't have to leave.
One day, I hope you'll let me stay.
One day, I'll become afraid.
Afraid all over again,
And I'll try to push you away.
I'll try to run so far away-
So far away that
My feelings will never reach you.
So far away that
Yours will never reach me.

Please stop me.
I know it's selfish
But please don't let me run.
I've felt so little
For so long.
I like feeling.
And still, right now, sitting here,
Writing about someone
That’s important to me,
Though contradictory
To the usual dictation of time,
I hope I’m smiling-
And I hope that reading this,
You are too.

I am undoubtedly a liar,
But strangely, after meeting you,
I can’t help but feel that
A lie to you
Can be considered nothing
But high treason.

Just now, you made me promise
To never do anything
To hurt myself again.
You were angry with me
When I chose not to respond.

Tomorrow, I’m almost certain
You will ask me again.
I’ve decided that I will lie to you
For the first time since our meeting.
I’m sorry.
In two days,
You will surely hate me.
I’m sorry.

When the world ended,
There was nobody,
Well, not to blame at least.

We all know
It was our fault
For trying to tame the beast

That was each other;
The ones above us,
Who enjoy their blazen yeast;

And the gods
Who roamed among us,
Who’d rather blame the feasts.

So we killed them:
Our friends, our enemies.
We tore down our economy.

We killed them:
Ourselves, each other.
Split necks, called it dichotomy.

We killed them:
Our world, our sins,
And practiced red topography.

We killed them:
Our sons, our men
And I pretend it doesn’t bother me.

It’s over, what can we do,
But bear our children
Directly into misery?

It never started, but whoever knew
A perfect world
Could fall into asymmetry

Was thought a god,
Like you humans do,
You who are yet to know of empathy

Claim to be gods
When all you can do
Is all but value your epiphanies.

When the world didn’t end,
Everyone noticed.
Well, at the most, it was done subconsciously.

As such, nobody knew,
And as humans do,
They’d continue their rule in cacophony.

They would each learn no lesson,
They’d die in succession,
And abandon design and biology.

They’d choose all that exists:
Good, evil, abyss,
And believe they were gods wholeheartedly.

When the world didn’t end, it bothered me,
As the fruit of that tree
Is a part of me.

A leaf floats in the sea.
In dirt, the water seeps.
Each one has a unique sound,
And each, foreign to me.

The scenes I fail to capture,
And never fail to miss
Drag me deeper into wonder
And deeper through abyss.

The exposure just gets lower,
And the darkness eats the flash,
And crashing down onto the ground
A shattered lens will thrash.

The shutter starts to flicker,
And the timer doesn’t last
As the wonders of the world
Become the wonders of the past.

Debris will fall on rubble
And stack into a heap,
And I’ll give up on my camera
And fall into my dreams

And in my dreams I’ll never fail
To capture every leaf,
Or every droplet,
Or every stone
As to me the world bequeathed.

The start, ends with a sea.