I just want for him notice me
That i'm here
I exist
I breath
My eyes is set only towards him
Even though
He doesn't even see me

Sometimes I wish I was Margo Roth Spiegelman
I want to be able to follow my heart and do the things I've always wanted to
I want to dance with wind
Feel the grass beneath my feet
The stars to blanket me with sparkle
And the moon to light my face
I've always wanted to run
And never look this way again
To be the captain of my own soul
Seizing all the hours of my day
I have feet because I know I wasn't meant to stay on the ground
I wasn't given wings because I know I am no angel
But I knew I was destined to fly

They all know me as the "class clown",
They never bothered to look behind that mask.

Graduation day is only months away
And i'm somewhere between:
"Oh I'm gonna miss all my classmates"
And
"I'll never gonna see your stupid faces ever again, halleluiah!"

Lumapit ka sa akin kapag nasasaktan ka na
Hindi ko tatanungin kung alin
Hindi ko hahanapin kung saan
Lalong hindi ako mag-aaksayang alamin kung pano
Yayakapin lang kita
Mainit na yakap na hindi mo naramdaman sa kanya
Mahigpit na yakap na hindi mo mararamdaman sa iba
Na sana kahit papano ay
Makapagpapaalis ng kirot
At magpaalala na nandito pa rin ako


Leigh Herondale  *October 1, 2015

Minsan pinangarap ko
Mali,
Araw-araw pinapangarap ko
Na sana tingnan mo rin ako
Tulad ng tinging ipinupukol mo sa kanya
Pero itong tangang to hanggang pangarap lang talaga
Bakit? Kasi di mo naman ako kilala

Google isn't always the answer

I met the love of my life today
I didn't say hi and he didn't say hi
I don't know his name
He does not know mine either
Our eyes just locked up and there
Instantly I fell
Tho love seems so sweet and giving,
Our line is that kind of a tangent.
But in that moment that
I got to hold his eyes with mine,
I swear we were infinite.

We may be a tangent line
Meant to meet only once,
There is one thing i'm sure of tho
That moment I held your eyes with mine
I swear we were infinite



Leigh Herondale   *August 2015

She assumed it was commitment
But he was up for just a musement
Oh how she held him tight
All the while he played her right
Hers is a dreamy future with him
His head in the clouds, of partying and daydrem.
To him he's just another girl
To her he is her whole world.

A flower is only sought after for as long as it is fresh and pretty
Don't be like a flower
Don't believe what they declare
We are not just a simple DNA
We are the universe summed up into one
Observe the rules but don't be submissive
Follow your heart but never lose your mind
Pick your own battles and fight it well
And everyday
Don't fail to recall
That you are a fighter
Strong, courageous, wise
Yet still so sweet and soft
Fair, Confident, Honest,
A woman of virtue and respect
You are stunning on your own
You don't need any guy to prove your worth


©Leigh Herondale  *October 2015

I've had enough people to last a lifetime

Ayokong maging 'kailangan'
Gawin mo kong 'importante'
Kasi pwede kang maging kailangan
kahit hindi importante
Pero hinding-hindi ka magiging importante
Kung hindi ka kailangan.

The dead must have pity us
Laugh right in front of our crying faces
Because they know a secret we don't
That's it's better to be dead than alive

Piece of advice;
When a person is sad
Don't ask why
Just be there for them
And you'd be a thousand
times more appreciated.
Cliche but true.

I hate myself.
I hate my life.
I hate that i'm not pretty.
I hate that i'm uncool.
I hate the fact that they only like me because "I make them laugh"
I hate that they only glorify perfect figures and pretty face
Not intelligence nor virtue
I hate that nobody really cares.
Help me.

My moon is a He
And he's talking to me
Telling me secrets
The place i'd rather be


Leigh Herondale  *August 2015

I smile for the camera,
For my friends,
For the people who matter,
And sometimes
Even those who don't.

I act like i'm alright
That I live a blissful life
Even when inside i'm dying
And unhappy as hell

This constant battle
That's eating me up alive
Is a fight for freedom
That can never be won
A mind inside my mind
With a war of it's own

I will always be alone
I know,
I will always be alone
And one day I will be forgotten
But the pain will never end

When I grow up I want to be a librarian.

A lonely sailor
Brave the seas alone
One day came a ship
Asked to sail side by side
Together they faced each angry storm
And even slumber with the calm tide
Another storm his sail was torn
He said he'll shortly duck
She was shocked and forlorn
But he promised he'll be back
She waited every sunset
Till the very last she could witness
But he never came
Still she patiently waits
A lonely sailor again


© Leigh

I want to tell her it's okay
That her body is hers and hers alone
And having excess fat is okay.

I want to tell her that
She can't look like those girls in the magazine
because those girls don't look like that for real.
And it's okay.

I want to tell her that maybe
he still hasn't notice her
because God chose someone better.
And it's okay.

I want to tell her that falling in love
and getting hurt in the process
is a part of life.
And even if you cry it's okay.

Finally I want to tell her that
saying no to drugs,
turning down alcohol,
and respecting elders
is not old school.

That friends can laugh at your face
for being 'boring' for refusing things,
but you know it's what's right
And it's okay.



© **Leigh Herondale  *June 2015

When I try to be social
I miserably fail
I act like a butterfly
But all to no avail
So then I decided
To just hate them instead
Cause people don't give a ****
Unless you're pretty or dead
Now this pretty butterfly
Was really just a worm
Who learned the hard way
Of picking rose with its torn
Now she's digging into the Earth
Getting ready for her slumber
And if one day she succeed
She might just sleep forever


© Leigh Herondale  *September 2015

Deep in my young heart
I've always had this empty longing for the past
My heart silently bleeds for thy
Like it was a lover gone forever

I love history books because reading so
Puts me in a blissfully euphoric,
Yet miserably nostalgic trance
That would later make me ache for it even more

I miss the places I've never been to,
I yearn for the company of people I never met,
I crave those olden days I have never had the chance to live,
I adore those who have long been dead

Here I am, always craving, always wanting, always waiting,
For that polite, serene, and old-fashioned pieces of love
To happen to me too
When will I ever get to feel
That genuine humanitarian compassion they had long ago?
I'm afraid to be just another lifeless photograph
Withered by time

Let's just accept the fact
that I am not destined
to have the things they get
or live the lives they have
that their achievements
is not what I should aim for
that I should set my own realistic goal
that when the ripe age comes
I shall conquer the way I want
Also, I should remember that instagram
does not always show the full picture
that for even just a little,
there's a lie lurking there somewhere

Every little trouble keeps me up at night
Even the littlest difficulty makes me worry,
Every inch of step back lessens my already exhausted faith,
Even the slightest of pain makes me want to quit.
I don't know why
But i'm so ******* weak.

People are like ducks
Even when their brains are small they quack

Sometimes I wonder how will I die
Will it be from accident? Sickness? Immense pain?
Will it come as swift as an arrow
So I won't feel anything?
Is it gonna happen in my 20s, 30s, or 40s, perhaps?
Or will it be from old age?
Of suffering in my death bed?
Regretting all the things I never did
But could have done?

Don't wait for the perfect time
That's possibly never going to come
Grab the ****,
Walk out the door,
Seize all the hours of the day
And get that one thing you've been praying for.

I want
so bad
to be somebody
to someone.



© Leigh Herondale  *June 2015

I'd give up everything to kiss the moon

They don't always
Look dull
Or restless
Some even laugh
Joke around
And get crazy
With you
Everyday
They always
Got your back
Smiling and
Cheering you on
Because
They know how it feels
To be loathed
Broken
Unwanted
And them hurting alone
Is enough


©Leigh Herondale  *October 2015

Bitter thoughts flooding me again
I don't know how to swim
Almost up my neck now
Somebody help me
Save me from drowning

Never being genuinely happy
Is the price for intelligence

It's 12:38 in the morning
And i'm still not sure how I can sleep
Knowing that The Vamps and Before You Exit
Is coming to Manila on January 30, 2016
And I don't have the funds yet

It's the eve of my birthday
And i'm miserable


It's my birthday
And I want to **** myself