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isabel mayaka Mar 2020
I WRITE TO FEEL.
SOMETIMES I WRITE NOTHING.
isabel mayaka Mar 2020
i look up at the grey film of sky
there’s no light to make my eyes
look like anything other than ***** snow
open my mouth
let the snowflakes melt on my tongue
a tear falls from my eye
but freezes halfway down my cheek

i take off my coat, my shoes
shelterless
and i stand still
frozen in film noir
the wind whispers frigid nothings in my ear

sun tries to make his way
through cloud’s bleak winter parlor
to warm my rosy face
and chase the snowflakes in my hair
away
she will not let him
ha, they must be fighting

but i don’t mind
thank you sun
for your consideration
but i don’t think i can get any colder
than this
isabel mayaka Mar 2020
i write erratically now
        if my poems had heartbeats
                                                    they’d murmur

           they’d whisper to me
tell me to stop looking around so much
                       and focus on a something or

            a someone
                  to create with my words
      but I can’t help it

                        there are too many beautiful
                   and terrible things
    this world holds too many metaphors

    i am afraid i will never find them all before i go
                                         so i cannot stay still
                        i write erratically now
isabel mayaka Mar 2020
your eyes are colder now
they make my
leaves wither and die
it hurts  
i wasn’t prepared
for the weather change
isabel mayaka Feb 2020
You ruptured the pattern, you know
Your spontaneity
Your free verse
Became my routine
Then, just like you pushed your way
Into my heart
Something pulled you out of it
After you played with the strings
And made music

Now I have to go back to
The way things were before
Without you
And try to ignore the fact
That my heart now beats
To your song
Whenever I think of you
******
It’s catchy
isabel mayaka Feb 2020
crying won’t help
i repeat this mantra
in my head
every time a tear
murky with sadness
as dense as the world is round
with anguish
falls to the ground and
splash
dies
one after the other
letters streak down my face
letters to me
letters to you
letters saying i hate you
i’m sorry
i miss you
as they hit the earth
they lose their lives
like bumblebees who’ve stung in vain
and steal my messages away
with them
so no one will know that
my fortress crumbles
and i am not strong enough
to rebuild the walls
my tears
are selfish
my tears
are bad at their jobs
they never deliver my letters
the ones that say
i hate you
i’m sorry
i miss you
so i say it again
crying
won’t
help
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