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If I were to collect then present
Each and every tear I cried
If I were to show
Every emotion I was told to hide
If I were to point out
The litany of moments where I lied
If I were to open up
Recalling the days I wished I'd died
And shamefully admit
The number of times I've tried
Would you be able to love me for me
And put the worst of me aside?
Don't worry if you can't,
The rides creator couldn't even finish the ride

©2024
I'm far from being a worthy investment
It's pretty evident
Someone would have every right to be hesitant
And feel the growth of resentment
When so many details are absent
My mood isn't constant
Had a mind but lost it
Thoughts run rampant
But are often incoherent
Called the cops on myself for self inflicted harassment
A living predicament
The opposite of a sycophant
My betterment is, at best, flippant
And I can already tell everybody's sick of it

©2024
You wake,
Startled by the sky,
Wonder if-as senses
Implode-

A flash of Awareness
Can carry Infinity
And be gone.

We crumble ash,
Still warm,
Between our fingers-
Bonfire of some
Extinct Star.

We sleep-
Holding hands,
Cool ash trickling
Between our fingers-

Nothingness pie
Held together
Sheer with inertia-

Unstuck by
Suffering entropy
Anyway.

We wake,
Startled by earth,
Supporting
Overwhelming weight

Of dreams

Today
Older than puny
Time

I laugh in the
Face of the gods
You dreamt
You Awoke
But your slumber
Tumbled into the Deep
Ocean where your
Delusion soaked
In Brine.

The Molten Core of your
Ambition
Melts and steams in a
Brevity of Being.

Goodnight sweet Fantastic

Allow the gentle Waves to
Waft you ashore
 Dec 2023 Sabika
Qualyxian Quest
Proclivities, destinies
Still got 'em at 54
Fatherhood is gratitude
Inner Harbor, Baltimore

Bipolar my whole adult life
I seek the foreign shore
Tired, hesitating
Forgotten. Forgotten lore.
Lord, take my life from the earth,
To heaven, Lord, lead me there:
The weight of life’s crosses, Lord,
For me is too much to bear.

Help me carry life's crosses,
When I find life hard to live:
Needed wisdom, I need Lord,
It sufficient to me give.

I ask you Lord to help me,
Especially when there's strife:
Help me Lord to not give up,
Help me when hard I find life.

The virtues, Lord that I need,
To me give them, Lord I plead.
written 11 -30- 3023
 Jan 2023 Sabika
JP
Stay here
 Jan 2023 Sabika
JP
Stay here
when everything says run.
Stay here
when the jaw grinds shut.
Stay here
when the breath runs thin.
Stay here
when you're out of your skin.
Stay here
when the drink calls quietly.
Stay here
when the voice says spitefully,
"you're not enough"
because
when it comes to this stuff,
running feeds the fire
and true healing requires
staying here.
8/17
 Oct 2022 Sabika
Khoisan
Something had died
you were wide-eyed and beautiful
I still remember your smile
so innocent and wild
what happened
where are the wings of that child
I am not blind
though my heart is broken
my feelings are fine
my soul looms
for you are always
on my mind.
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