It all started when I was a little girl.
I trusted everyone execpt the strangers that my mom would warn me about.
But when you walked in you were never stranger I knew you she did too.
But you turned into a monster.
Confused I was left how the hell does a person you supposed to trust end up doing what your mom said the "strangers" would do.
One of this days I remember sitting in my room listening to music you got in closed and I heard I ran to take your bag realised something  in your face it changed it was like you were something else.
It was funny cause her faced changed too my mom.
Confused but ignored it took the bag and went back to my room.
Three minutes after she screams
I ran out to see I so you hitting her kicking as you kicked I so crying.
As she stood up she smiled and said don't worry my girl go back to you room.
Confused I went back to my room.
But I was sitting it all made sense he spit words I hear them she spit I hear them.
She asks he anwers but everytime he does he says thing that are unbearable and she apologises for him.
I thought it was crazy.
Days and days passed he did everyday hit her her skin was torn she looked like a woman that never looked beautiful.
I remember crying so much I started to cry but I didn't wanna show her.


And one day he decides to leave without a reason.
He left us 
                   Broken
                       Wreked
                                 Hateful
                                             Angry
                                            Sad
                ­            Paranoid

He ruined me ...

Know I'm scared to trust anyone since my "friend" became monster

I'm not bitter no I'm not I'm mad as hell.
Mad for all those tears you caused. Mad for all the times I couldn't be happy because of you.
Mad of all the times I had fear because of you.
Mad for all those times I couldn't be free because of you .
Mad for all those times I had to sacrifice happiness by force.

You know everytime I see you I feel rage running rampage through out my veins.
I remember my hands hitting against the wall my nails gripping the sheets my breath closing my eyes closing with tears my teeth biting my lip my throat burning .
After that I would feel ***** I would wash five times a day but still feel ***** cause what you caused didn't only destroy me physicaly it destroyed me inside and no mater what I do with the outside the inside can not be washed with soap  its broken and it can't be fixed up that easily no mater how many surgeries you take.

Every morning I wake up looking at you and asking myself how you sleep at night knowing you destroyed a little girl .
Knowing you killed something that was in a girl so beautiful and turned it something ugly.

You ruined me destroyed me and left me there know I'm left on my on to fix up the mess.

But no I'm not bitter I'm Mad as hEll...

They come and I smile and suddenly I remember I'm breaking the rules so I chase them away and close the door deep think about all the bad things in my life play deppresing music.
What can I say I'm addicted to pain.
Why can't I be when everytime I try and be happy something bad suddenly happens.
How can I be happy when I get low from people I expected the highest from.
Sometimes I just sit stare at a blank space and think back and wishing I could change my past.
But I can't and because of that I'm slowly losing my mind and no one is noticing.

Depressed sitting just thinking of ways to get more sad.
Sitting thinking of ways I can cry.
Sitting thinking of ways to hurt myself cause I hate myself I hate the way I'm.
My heart has been broken soo many times its useless.
I mean really what do you do with a heart you can't feel who do you give it to how do you live with it ?
I guess its they right if they say we all addicted to something and I guess my addiction is pain...

Next to the window I sit look at the stars I think about you.
I stand next to the door and I hear your knock.
I sleep in my bed I feel you breathing in my neck.
I stand a the kitchen and I sense you next to the stove cooking.
As I see the dishes I hear you yelling at me .
But you not there its just all in my head.
I miss you...

Dear little me
I'm sorry
Sorry for all those times you wanted to be happy but scared that something bad will happen.
Sorry for all those times you had to worry about all the things you shouldn't have worried about.
Sorry for all the night you had butterflies in your stomach throat burning tears on your face and having to pretend you fine .

Dear little me
I'm sorry for taking your childhood away having trust issues at a young age .
I'm sorry for all those times you wanted to play but was scared cause you were diffrent.
Sorry for all those times you were scared but no one was there for you .
Sorry for those times you had to sleep on the couch waiting for someone who you didn't know would come back.
Sorry for those times you waited for a shooting star to make one wish but it didn't come.

Dear little me
I'm sorry
But I'm glad cause this has made me what I'am

Time goes much slower when you missing someone.
I just want to lay by your side next to you and make sure you are alright take care of you.
When I'm away from you I can't stop thinking about you I carry you in my spirit.
And I'm getting sick of this lonely air it seems such a waste of breath.
In this lonely hour I need you to give me comfort and love me through.
I wanna feel your heartbeat your hands while holding me.
Baby I'm just scared we both sad and we don't do anything and things will slowly fall apart.
Sometimes I look back at memories and wish I could change the past.
Tell you I love you more kiss you longer hold you tighter...
I'm sorry but I can't help thinking about you truth is ...
I really really miss you.

One day I fell inlove with someone.
Hunny brown skin taller than me unique hair great smile and great personality I was sure he was the one.
As he held me I felt like he would never let me go.
As he kissed me I felt like I would never feel low.

And then one day he got bored and then got a new me.
I thought I was special but no I wasn't and I couldn't see.
Until I saw it in his eyes that there was another one.
I felt in my veins that there is someone .
Asked him and he would deny everything.
People knew so I started being a joke out of all things.

And quickly love turned into war.