rainbow curtains that smell of mint

gray sweatshirt my mother sent

suffocating but my airway is clear

where is the voice i want to hear?



i wish someone else could see

the poisonous air of room 11-B

the loveless glance that you placed into my hands
felt like running them through shattered glass hidden in sand

in 24 hours, your love for me fell
in 24 hours, you fell under a spell

the dark closet felt like a dark endless void
they way you left me there made me feel like a broken toy

in 24 hours, you were in her bed
in 24 hours, a decision I wished you could dread

staring out the tinted window in a hospital gown at 3am
wondering if you were ever going to do it again.

pulling petals
until march 5th
will it be you
that i share my life with

you broke me like a pen
messy and dark
let my ink sink into your skin
and leave a permanent mark

you are but my sacred counterpart;
the universe's most precious art
who closes the tears,
who blows me soft air;
the one who i can not bear to see depart

through the corridor,
the steps of your heart have a beat
the balcony on the second floor,
the creases in my sheets

let's travel to the tracks trains play;
love like ghosts with endless pulses
for your heart holds the haul of many loves,
remembrance is but a losing game

guilt has not but one form,
but thousands
some persist in prolonged periods;
prowling through the past programs of the mind
while many blow wind in your eyes,
each time the sun goes down

sun through the window,
the beat of your heart
through your white wedding dress,
i trace reflections art

my body is but a canvas
for my blades to construct upon

if i fill you with my love,
will you eventually match my heartbeat;
from the ground above?

the snow is as still as silence
our fingers intertwine;
but not in the way i aspire

i'm tightening the belt
meanwhile,
he's got you so smitten you could melt

i got it all wrong
and i must say;
the agony is unlike any cut

i never thought highways
would twist my heart
the way the blurred headlights
paint the perfect art

for every breath that i have dreaded to take,
i shall add one to your lungs
as your essence is one so rare;
it extends beyond lifetimes

like mist in summers air
i can only so slightly detect
how you feel
what you think
the rest is caught in the wind of the world

i can't find the hope

but whenever you hold me

you make me believe

can you trace my skin

like you skim the morning rain?

does the timer of life know...

that i am trying to hack it?

the prophecy i made for myself all those years ago has not yet prevailed

my own maze of a mind the culprit keeping it from setting sail

my eyes sting and are almost as empty as the hole in my heart

the pit of what used to be childhood innocence has turned into a mirrorless counterpart

each path seems to lead to everything but the love and success that was promised

where i lay unmoving is an uncomfortable reflection of my life that is a novice

my skin is almost as scarred as my view of life on earth

each battering glance another slash that has permanently imprinted on my worth

every tear that falls seems to soak my soul with some sort of feel

when night falls my blurred vision spins the death wheel

if only i could count the number of fingerprints on my noose

but i turn a blind eye as the devil and i have seemed to have made a truce  

when the moon falls my skin goes numb with spiders crawling through my veins

circling around each thought that my mess of a mind contains

i've accepted my lips will stay cold and loveless as my time on land decreases

no one cares to mess with the remains of such broken pieces

the whispers flow into my ears and do nothing but wrap and compress my nerves

maybe in the next life, someone will hold me tight and trace all of my curves

but here every breath means another day in which rejection compresses my soul

so maybe i should begin my long list of regrets on a tear-stained scroll

the curve of your lips

with the shiver of your touch

make me wish you cared

running from the vines

her feet are failing her

tripping over every root

dewy leaves dropping water on her cheeks

blending with salty tears

the ground pulls her under

forcing her figure down with the depths of the earth

letting my mind and feet wander as i feel the overwhelming beat of my own heart through the silent night sky and the tiny specs of rain that graze my eyelids

let me lay a kiss upon your temple

count your freckles, soft skin so simple

my heart is a half-painted wall

i said that i would finish it for her

they all say that love can conquer all

so why do i bawl at this unpainted wall?