If a kiss on my wounds could make it all better
I would have you kissing me every day.
but I will settle for this one on my hand
And cherish it.

Stationary,
Waiting,
For change.
The wind picks it up,
It’s flying,
Dancing.
Then it falls,
Settling onto the street.

Dear "Dad",
Thank you.
Thank you for sleeping with my mom that night
Thank you cuddling up with her
Making her feel special
For getting under the covers and giving her the pleasure
Thank you because without that night I would have never been

That's the only thing you ever did right

Thank you for letting me expericence an airplane ride
while I was still in the womb
You gave her money to come here to North Carolina
and then you abandoned me, my sis, and my mom
Thank you

Thank you for not sticking around
For not providing anything for us
even back in LA you did the same
Not A cent you gave to support this baby on the way

Thank you.

I now have a Dad, a real Dad one who has always been there
Even though he divorced my mom
He stuck around and he provided
He is my father

I aksed my mom to let me contact you
I want to see the face
Of the man that provided the other chromosomes to make me
I want to see the guy who loves poetry
I want to see the guy who loved to read
I want to know this man
Because apparntly you past these things to me

But the one big reason why I want to meet you
is because I want to show you the guy I became

This boy that never met his father
This boy who gets good grades in school
This guy who has dealt with a lot
Wants to slam in your face A BIG FAT THANK YOU for not being there
For not helping me play soccer
For not helping with my homework
For not being there while I cried over something stupid

THank you "dad" for not being here because if you were I think I would not have become the person I am and I rather die then not be who I am now

Dear "My woman",

I love you
Don't let these words leave your mind
Nor let them escape into a dark void to never be found again
Even though I might not love you in the since of "love"
I love you as a friend and that is better than nothing

Just wanted to tell you something

When they call you "*****, *****, ****" and all those words
and they stick in your mind like goo
Just smile
Show your teeth with your braces
Let the sun illuminate them and let them reflect that you don't care

Raise your hand up in the air
But not to flip them the bird
but to wave a hello
Just smile and wave, girl, just smile and wave

I know you might want to just attack and bite
Scorn them with your own words
But don't
Just let your muscles in your face form a "u"

Don't let them get to you
Don't stoop to their level
You are better than that

I love you and you are a good friend
and don't forget to
Just smile

"Your Man"
Francisco D.H

Dear Trip,

*******!

Sincerly
The very last poem I will ever write about you.

Dear Gandia Guerrero,

Girl, I am going to miss you
like the world would miss the sun
Because you bring warmth to me
everyday that you are here

I am going to miss those times when you told me
That I was dumb, I was crazy cause
only you could tell me those things
With a smile on your face

You and me are like thick as theives
But don't theives leave
each other eventually
Lol, nah we ain't never going to do that
Cause I know our paths will cross some day

Keep your head up
Never let anything down except your hair.
Love you and I will miss you

Your BEST GUY FRIEND WHO WILL CRY WHEN YOU LEAVE,
WHO WILL MISS YOU
WHO WILL WIRTE TO YOU WHEN HE CAN
WHO LOVES YOU DEARLY

Francisco D.H

Dear Me,

You have done things in the past
Done them fast
With no second thought
But now You regret the choices you made
And when the time comes you will have to pay

But until then Try hard to do what's right
Ignore the ones who get you frustrated
Don't give in and fight

Write everything down like you are doing now
Write when you are sad, write when you want out

Hold closely the ones who are your friends
Because you never know when that friendship will end
Hold them close stitch them to your heart if you have to
Because they are the people who love you
Don't forget to hold you family close also

Keep your head up when you are brought down
When they breach the walls you placed
And they throw the words like spears to your head
When they beat you and flog you
make you raw mentally and emotionally
Just keep your head up

You shoot me down but I won't fall I am Titanium
Sing this when you need to

be the best person you can be
Be the person you want them to see and enjoy
Try hard every day to do what you can
Try to be a good man

Sincerely,
Yourself

The wind is talking in clues
And yet saying nothing sensible; nonsense.
The clouds snicker above me
As if they were snickering at me. How rude they think they're perfect.
See that one there! It has a lump and that one there looks, well looks rather odd.
Is that an elephant trunk hanging free? Or perhaps something else hanging low...oh dear. Cloud, have a little decency.
The wind spoke, "Ignore them, they snicker for they know not
what beauty is"
And then the wind spoke once more with breathy blows "your mind must be with the clouds."
"Excuse me"
"You're being bullied by clouds and comforted by wind."
And then it stormed.
The clouds turned to rain
As the rain fell down
The wind blew round
and round
Oh dear...
Have I fell down the rabbit hole?
Again....
Or is this my shot at Emerald city?

Maybe it's already been predetermined
That I will never be fully happy
And just bwing the rebel that i am
I fight for the contrary

Maybe it's been already decided
That I will always feel pain
And just being the person that i am
i numb myself with a sryinge of false sense of security

maybe it's  been forseen
That i will never get what i want
And being the stubborn bull
i try to have, try to get what i want

But then agian
There will always be pain
There will always  be the sense of not being happy
There will be always the wanting but never having
So
Maybe it's all in my head.

A time forgotten
Because we went separate ways.
Caution i have now
Did you intend for me to be
     Cautious?
Everywhere I go I get a feeling of
Fear. Not because of the wrong but
           Because of being hurt.
God! You still
Have me
In your grip.
Juggling these feelings that still                  
        remain.
Kite flying these feelings.
Longing to be rid of these feelings.
Moments turn to days.
Nothing is helping.
Oh!!
Perhaps i should go? Or maybe
Question myself? as to why i still          
     Think of you.
Registering that it is time to go.
So i drop that rose you made in the
Trash.
Under the sadness of letting go is
      Sense of
Victory.
Watching it land no more
Xoxo's
You are no longer there in my
   Mind. Because we never
Zinged.

I was told at a very early age that I could do the very things I wanted to do.
Being young and foolish I spoke "I want to be Blue"
My parents laughed at me and patted my head
Told me to try something realistic instead
Before sending me off to sleep in my bed.

Years later, With more miles walked
With more things heard, with more words to talk
With more memories and thoughts confusing to me
I read a book.

"Am I blue?" It said, a collections of stories, a window to see through
Reading it brought my confusing thoughts to view.
And then I realized I am blue.

Blue in this sense meant that I had likings
Likings that were not ordinarily normal yet still in the realm of Normalcy.
It was the sense of I liked guys in the way I "should" like girls
In the sense I am more attractive to his golden curls.

I got to be blue, and still get to be blue, and forever get to be blue
Just not in the way I thought I would.

And life just goes on
But hearts that are anchored deep
Can never move on.

The silence was killing me so I broke it with the whip of a whisper.
It shattered the silence for only a moment before going back to the daunting quiet that was suffocating me.
The silence was battling with the noises that  wanted to come from my throat and for a moment it won
But then I was able to break through the barriers and silence cried.

And yet his name lingers on the tip of his tongue.
Intruding once in awhile, sweetening his tongue.
And yet his voice echoes inside his ears
Making his cheeks flush, his heart strings strum, his ears burn.
And yet his smile flashes in his mind
Leading him to smile, to retreat and imagine  in his mind

He say's it's no more
And yet he still feels the flame
He says the opposite of the truth
And yet he yearns for him
He tells stories and crafts lies, morphing and shaping them to fit the purpose
And yet he still loves him.

I was ****** with the sun putting aflame my skin.
I was broken and hanged before many men.
I was burned, hands tied, with no proof to my sin.
I was showered with pellets, toxic air burned from within
I was shot in the back, forced to fall and spin.
I was held under water fatally deprived of oxygen.
What else does society have in store as they condemn?

His shoes bruised harshly the skin of the street
as he made his way towards me, leaving behind a trail of outlandishly ghastly fumes.
With the letter in hand, his eyes were shaded in by confusion.
His opposition towards his deployment:
He is to be wed tomorrow.
Maybe his deployment could be delayed?
But as I pondered on the matter,
The man took hold of my arm
He mustered pressure
as if he were a snake attempting to intimidate the keeper
                                 "Fix. It."
He stressed both syllables with a sickening hiss.


The air 'round us halted after a breeze
quicken it's pace
crossing the street to the sidewalk over.
His shaded eyes met my hollow eyes.


"I just had this suit dry cleaned."


And with that I snagged his soul.

For T. Adams*

Bear with me for another sentence.
I don't mean to make you uncomfortable.
I apologize sincerely for bring it to your attention.
Bear with me for another sentence.

You see my heart is a closet
It beats out dust and dried tears.
My mama told me "Why should I
Accept this when y'all couldn't
Accept Juan" Her boyfriend.
Bear with me for another sentence.

She told me her name was
synonymous to carpet licker
and her body's ****** orientation
was the lockers lined down her school's halls.
Bear with me for another sentence.

His parents deleted his facebook
and banned him from the library
like he was this month's banned book.
Whenever he visits to drop off a book
he randomly chose as an excuse to come
to see the people he is close with,
He finds me and asks me about my day
and I say peachy but underneath his smile
There is a boy who has felt the sting
of isolation. I wonder if his parents know
that the girl from Ohio was forced down the same path
and it didn't lead to a garden of roses and sunflowers.
I hugged him with every fiber of my being
I hope I planted seeds that day
I hope they grow to be roses, sunflowers, the whole ******* Flower Spectrum because there needs to be some beauty in this ****** up world we call life.

A total ******
Not worth any more of my time
Too much of an A'hole
Honestly I don't know why I liked him
Out then in then denies
Never far from my mind though...
Yesterday I told him how I truly felt 'bout him

And life went on while you went away
No Crashing of the stars, no stopping of the world Nothing.
Today I saw you and my heart fluttered but it wasn't that big of flutter like it use to be.
Ha, maybe you are not my whole world like I use to think maybe just a part that makes my life more sweet.
Or maybe I am getting use to not having you and already moving on to the guy who makes me laugh
          all the time, to the one who speaks adorably, to the one who's touch still lingers even when he is gone.
No Crashing of the stars nor moon with Earth, nothing
Y*ou I still like but I don't know. I don't know how to go about anything anymore.

A pair of lungs walked into a bar
and inhaled the tobacco smoke.
Moments ago the smoke had risen drunk
before stumbling into the pair.
The bartender snickered, chortled
Which infuriated the lungs.
The lungs coughed up some tar.
They spat on her face then walked out.

i wanted to find solace in your arms
but instead i find compromise and it's hard
to look into your eyes
those (I love them) eyes

And while we're ******* on a saturday
you're shirt your tucking on a sunday
Calling her saying you pulled a all nighter
then complain on how you don't like her.
but appearances are important
Aren't they....

I spent 15 years not wanting to know
I spent 15 years saying He should be dead
But it was all anger for leaving me, and My sister

Now I am left with a question

Are you my Father?

If I do meet you I am not friend but Foe
And I would like to kick you until you bled
But I won't Sir, poor excuse of a man, mister

Now I am left with a question

Are you my Father?

Art is like love
with cerulean swirling around
leaves that are gracious green on a canvas
and with a magenta sky
touched by the amber sun
upon the endless horizon
With brushes dipped into golden yellow
and gently stroked onto the canvas
to show the beauty of a star

Art is like love with colors that bring happiness and joy

Art is like love
with black smeared and splattered
With angry, fiery orange thrown across a page with a palet knife
With rosy pink covered harshly by blood red as it drips off the brush

Art is like love with colors that bring only despair

Art is like the act of love
expressed by colors of emotions
That wash over us
and with desires that move us

When the pain becomes unbearable I take my headphones and cover my ears
I turn the volume up to block out their banters

Eric Himan Fill my soul with words that make me feel okay
let your Folk calm the angry waters in my soul

Mother Monster let me know that I am safe
and I should never give up

Adele teach me of love lost
Ke$ha let me party till I feel my body go numb


All of you!

Sing! Sing and be my shield!

Do I have a second chance?
Is this what a second chance looks like
With you following me
With you looking at me with does blue eyes I have always adored?

Or are you drowning in the no attention?
Desperate for some that you latch onto to me
knowing that I still what you at my side

The world has turn ablaze and ashes squander the seed's life into asphyxiated pieces of decayed flesh but not before it's life force seeped into the ground. It took root and sensed the passing of ignorance and flourished into something tangible, at least in the areas effect by rebirth. Ashes have yet to settle upon the rest of the earth to allow such rebirth but the seeds are already awaiting acceptance.

As I saw the Mountain Range,
I heard the wind call.
It spoke to the many trees
Cradling the leaves that fall.
I observed the conversa-
Come again?
No, I rather not discuss that.
No, I rather not discuss the moments of past.
The sun seemed to withdraw its arms leaving the night in charge of handling the Mountains, the trees, me.
An echo of howls tore into the night,
repetition of whispers circulating on the lips of the wind
Caught my covered ears.
I shouldn't have come to the Mountain Range.
It's an endless echo the wind carries on it's lips.
I need to leave.

I want to ask a question
It's not meant to cause distress in anyway
It's more out of curiosity Please don't be dismayed

Do you still have those letters that I wrote for you
Does letters where I confessed my love for you
Does letters where I told you that I wanted you
Do you still have them?

I am just asking

I have another question
Not trying to add more to the plate
And I am trying not to irritate
I'm just wondering


Would you go out with me?
I like you and you like me
So yeah would you go out with me?
I am just asking
But hopefully you say yes

you asked
your questions
One after another
but I could not answer you without
my tongue (trip)ping over themselves.

I'm growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm tired of tears
I gave up all my security
Just to choke on my fears

I'm  growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm done with this
I know you don't believe
But I was saved with his kiss

And I'm gonna take my chances
Sprout my wings and fly
For I know I have only, only  one life
And this one life is mine
Yeah this one life is mine

I don't care anymore
Went ahead and  closed the door
I need to find my own happiness

You can try to pray it out
you go ahead scream and shout
But I need this , I need this

I'm growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm tired of tears
I gave up all my security
to choke on my fears

I'm  growing tired of tryin
Oh I'm done with this
I know you don't believe
But I was saved by his kiss.

And mama I know you care
But the way you actin
it's like it aint there
Mama I'm  sorry for all the pain
I just wish you could understand

I promise you to be a good man
I promise you I'll do the best I can

So tried of tryin
So tried of tears
I need back my security
before I die with these fears

My mind is like abstract art tinted in many colors of red,
like my heart blew apart, splintering, puncturing now I am dead,
like horrid lamentation smeared with tears of the barely alive,
like a hungry nation spoon fed to think they can no longer strive,
like a child who attempts jumping the hurdles but ends up hurt,
like a man who repents only to realize he never got burnt.

Every Poet has some story to tell.
every word that flows from their pens and onto paper is a piece of them they are willing to share
every Curve of a letter, every break between words tells you something you may have never known
every poet has some story to tell.

When the poem doesn't make sense
Grab some gloves and a mask and begin dissecting each stanza.
Each letter that hugs closely to each other break them apart
make sure to peer inside what's between them
Because every poet has a story to Tell  

A poet can tell you about  butterflies begin kissed by the sun but the sun, being selfish, doesn't leave a trace of saliva.
A poet can tell of love lost and about love ones tearing into their soul, shredding them like some paper shredder.  
A poet can tell of you anything they want with just whatever they have be it a napkin or computer
A poet can't help but to tell parts of their story even if the poem only makes sense to them
Every poet has a Story to tell.
That's just how they are.

A
taste
        in my
                      mouth
Reminds
               me of you
... again

After years of thinking and considering I know
That I am an Atheist.
Hours on end I have thought about it but the answer was always No you don't  believe
Everyone who does believe tells me that it might be because I am gay and don't like what they say about
           people like me. And if they don't know that I am Gay they say I just haven't let him in my heart
I* will not lie and say it didn't cross my mind that my homosexuality might have been a factor but it's
               not. And I can't let something in my heart when I don't believe that it can even be there.
Saddest person I might be for the ones who tell me that but At least I never Waver in standing for my
     belief.
The answer as to why i don't believe is A) I am more on the science side and B) I just never did.

My heart has travled a thousand miles.
A thousand words. A thousand Feelings.
Never really tiring as it travels further into the unknown.

And each day it feels the heat.
And each night it feels the loneliness.
And each day it feels complete.
And each night it feels emptyness.

My heart has travled a thousand miles.
A thousand words. A thousand Feelings.
Never really tiring as it travels further into the unknown.

With your head rested upon the pillow
I hear the thoughts you never tell.

With your chest exposed to the cool night air
I hear the secrets kept in your heartshell.

With your feet slightly uncovered
I see where you been.

With your lips partly opened
I hear his name.

I am leaving in the morning before you wake up
and make the coffee.

I am leaving before the kiss that should leave me grinning
as I leave for work.

I am leaving before you go out again.

Thank you sleepless night
for showing me the truth.

At night, the Cool night,
The solitary night
I wait for you.
The crickets mutter
and the wind plays amongest the leaves.

At night, the cool night,
The lonesome night
I wait for you.
The stars send hidden codes
and the moon, the luminous moon
talks slowly.

At night, the cool night,
The confided to myself night
I wait for you.
The creatures do not stir
For they hear a sound so foregin
The clouds protect the stars and the moon
Clouding what they might see.

I catch my breath and
my lungs cool over.
"Its me" you say
Its you I say
At night, the warm night
The acompained with my love night
I run away with you.

If I were to take on step forward and fall
I wonder, in those seconds in which I descend
Would I feel the freedom I have never known?

If I were to embrace the asphalt with my broken self
I wonder, in those seconds in which I consciously kiss the road
Would I feel the love I have never known?




Falling

          Falling,

                        Falling­

                        Embracing

                         ­    Embracing

                                   Embracing

                          Kissing

Kissing

 ­    Kissing



                                           Freed and Loved

If meeting your needs was what it took to ensure their safety I would do it. No task, no demand would be too difficult to accomplish. All I ask in return, pass them the salt when they ask for it.

At this moment
        the veins have been detached
From my heart
         because of your memory.
At this moment
         the blood is mixed with tears
And the sorrows that run
          Because of the longing.
At this moment
          I know I love(d) you
because I can't stop writing
                                               about
                                                         you.

I dropped my thoughts into the pond
and wished for clarity
only for my thoughts to be spewed back
by a vengeful fish who grew tired of people purposely polluting the pond.

Ashes falter ride a breeze
waver some collectively.

But then there wasn't anything left to say.
All that could be said was said
while the words that were said before hand drifted away.

And then the silence crept in
looking around to make sure it wouldn't be disturbed
But it wouldn't for awkwardness sat in the room with us
enjoying our nervous stares and movement.

Love is nothing but a word
It doesn't feed you in the time of hunger
It doesn't heal a wound once you get cut
It doesn't hold you when you need holding
But, who loves you does

Who loves you will be there when you need to feed your heart
Who loves you will kiss the wound and tell you it will be better
Who loves you will hold you untill you fall alsleep in their arms
Their name is a word worth saying
Worth loving with every ounce you can give
Worth saying it is more than a word

Love's not but a word
Heavy yet empty on lips
'Till action taken

To write and write
and write
and write
and write.

I have eaten the fruits of a fallen society
The rubble has punctured my sense of pride
and I lie dying
with the light overshadow inside.