devine

devine Jun 2019

the end of the day comes
eventually
now i can see the signs
undoubtedly

the only time i can be naked
slightly aided
but will never be recovered
and never be discovered

after a long fight
entirely wrong life
now i'm staying the night
under the faded light

what if she leaves
what if we fall apart
what if i make things worse
what if the truth doesn't exist
what if i'll end up ruin everything
what if there's no place for me in the world

pouring my body with regret
pain that i could never forget
burning a cigarette
wishing i could reset

every night
this is my only right
when i heal
and when i ****

the only time.

#cold #shower #**** #time #cry #sad #hate

devine May 2019

i just want to die

rain
damping everything
pain
i can hardly feel a thing

the pressure
push me to be sure
nothing in me is pure
and you don't have any cure

i don't want to live anymore
i don't want to fail like before
i don't want to be called *****
and thrown to the floor

i did the test
i've tried my best
more than i could expressed

i just want to sleep
dive into the deep
forgetting all the things i can't keep
all i have to do is leap

i just want to die
i don't want to lie
so let me cry
let me fly

it's time.

#heartbreak #death #cry #fly #depression #pain

devine Apr 2019

he runs

tears and laughter
he throws everything at her
dreams at the face of disaster
there’s no happily ever after

an ungrateful witch
a compliment she sends herself
a foolish *****
a thing he says to himself

you can’t hear her voice
she’s too deep in the void
it’s never her choice
it’s always up to his joys

she falls
she leaves cuts
people think she’s nuts
well she wants to be happy once

he smiles
he laughes
he travels million miles
he doesn’t have to face trials

she says “i’m done”
“i’ll be gone”
“i’ll leave in dawn”

he runs

he left her.

#tears #violence #abuse #unfair #blame #alone

devine Mar 2019

cigarette burns

i remember when we first met
there were butterflies in my stomach
you were sweet
i couldn’t taste anything else
we danced
and i couldn’t help but amazed

you were nothing like a threat
so i ****** it up and took the bullet

i was finally aware
when you made me burn that cigarette
and poured me in liquors
putting all the complexity inside me
not that it was something i hate
but you revealed your real face

i believed it’ll pass
and you were not an ***
but i discovered the abyss
that lies within your kiss

you abandoned me here
alone and broken
with thoughts of perfections
that’s just merely thoughtless imaginations

there were only cigarette packs
and my heartbreak
i used to light one
and felt the freedom filled my lungs
now i light one
and only feel the burns in my heart

what you left me with.

#heartbreak #pain #hurt #lies #cigarette #love

devine Feb 2019

thread

what is it
just another sound
i begin to knit
for another round

come to think about it
it never quit
i’m feeling it
from the bottom of a pit

one sight in years
unbearable tears
liberty sounds lovely
but it is heavenly

they say this is worth
anything else is dirt
i take it for granted
letting myself pricked

does it get better
it does taste bitter
does it ever end
i can only pretend

cause this is the sewer
where people suffer
idling the reality
and nurtures it within

frankly
i’m aching for light
but alas
the thread lasts

and there’s nothing i can do about it

#hopeless #pretend #knit #sew #thread #hurt

devine Dec 2018

more & more

you were by my side
but i couldn't see you there
all i can see is your pride
and myself driven to despair

i hate to admit that it was agonizing
but i knew i'll love you til death
even if i heard the thunder blazing
i've fallen to the sound of your breath

there was so much i want to see
so much skies that've turned grey
there was so much doubt i want to free
but you didn't even bother to stay

i've seen your faces
i've heard your lies
i've felt your punches
i've smelt your fumes
i've loved your scars
i've been on your worsts

i've done everything for you
you told me it wasn't enough
you want more
and more
even more

then i gave you more
and more
even more
everything left in me

i wish i could see you once again
you that didn't have more
but me

it's never enough.

#more #pain #hurt #heartbreak #lies

devine Dec 2018

she never blamed you for what she did

powerful silence
wake her up everytime
accepting distance
begging for goodbye

burn photographs on the wall
it doesn't matter to you at all
so she drown herself in alcohol
fading memories she could recall

she lost in her palace
her head is too light
the room is spinning
but she didn't try to hold tight

just like that
she fell back
and called it a night
that was it
she'll never be found
she'll never see light

everyone wears black
reflecting the cloud
roaring grief
filled with regret

but you laugh
thunderously
just minutes
before it turned
to a scream

you felt the horror
tingling your neck
you were scared
of the truth
that destroys

you said it wasn't your fault
you said you didn't break her
you said the bruises were already there

yes
it's you
it is because of you
but she never thought that it's true

#depressed #gone #truth #goodbye