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:(
eve Jan 2021
:(
i still hide you in my poetry
always and forever
eve Feb 2021
that song started playing
and it reminded me of you

that song ended
and it reminded me of us too
music songs heartbreak
<3
eve Jan 2021
<3
i'm so sorry if anyone has ever made you feel like its hard to love you
i love you
eve Feb 2021
7 billion people on this earth and i chose you
to write about
to talk about
to dream about
to think about
to love
but you didnt
6.999.999.999 people
ugh i really loved him
eve Jan 2021
there's a lock between you and me
and i can't find the key
i don't think i'll ever find it
because there's something stopping me
it always stops me
pulls me back
drags me down
in my dark place

when i'm alone it reminds me
of my problems
of my weakness
even if i think i'm strong
it manipulates me
and keeps me inside

i learned to live with it
but sometimes it overcomes me
and i fall down
i can't learn to live with it

i call it anxiety
maybe some of yall can relate
eve Feb 2021
if a poet falls in love with you,
the love will never die.
it's always gonna be alive in her/his/them poems
words are never forgotten
eve Mar 2021
astrology is for people who want to find out
why people treat them way they do
it doesn't make sense
eve Jan 2021
if someone would ask me what beauty is
i would define the person you are
your eyes, prettier than all of the bluest oceans,
shining brighter than all stars.
your arms, where i feel at home,
in which you give me butterflies.
your voice, that sounds like my fav song,
i long to listen day and night.

if someone would ask me what beauty is
i would define the person you are..
because you have the most beautiful soul.
love love love love love
eve Aug 2021
being a writer
is it a blessing or a curse?
I think it's both of them
at the same time

we feel things so deeply
just to write about it
to hope that someone is there
to listen
and to understand
eve Jan 2022
yesterday i didnt think of you

until i did again.
until i realized that i never stopped.

i miss the way you loved me
the way we looked at each other
the reassurance
the closure
i miss the time where it was enough for you

we reached our end
you left a big scar in my heart
and it still hurts
but being loved and loving is too big of a difference for me
eve Jan 2021
i compare my bipolar disorder
to a roller coaster ride
everything is unexpected
some days i am very happy
while other days i am the opposite
i care too much
or i don't care at all
i am constantly fighting a battle
between who i am
and who my mind wants me to be
it's all in my head, stuck
just some thoughts
eve Jun 2021
even death
didn’t allow me to escape you

i’ll be looking for you
even when my body runs cold

ill always make sure that you’re alright
even when i’m dead

i’ll love you
even when i can’t love anymore
eve Mar 2021
Früher dachte ich immer der schmerzhafteste Teil des Todes wären all die Fragen,
die für das restliche Leben unbeantwortet sind.
Aber dann wusste ich, es waren nicht die Fragen,
es war die kalte Leere, die in einem übrig bleibt.
Das Herz, das sich zusammen mit ihr bewegt,
in der Seele Dunkelheit, Finsternis, Dunkelheit,
als ob wir in unserem Herzen durch unsere Tränen ertrinken würden.
Ertrinken in dem Meer der Ungewissheit,
denn niemand versteht den Tod,
aber vielleicht gibt es auch nichts zum Verstehen.
Ein ständig bewegender Schmerz,
der schwächer wird, aber nie aufhört
und der dich irgendwann auch zur Vergangenheit macht, du wirst, was weg ist.
Ist es Freiheit oder Einsamkeit?
Es bleibt den meisten unbemerkbar und das tötet uns langsam.
Da sind Friedhöfe - Gräber voller Knochen, die keinen Ton machen, vereinsamt.
Verstorbene, die eine Identität auf unserer Bühne spielten
und sich Sorgen über ihre Leistung machten,
doch der Tod trat trotzdem auf, auch ohne Applaus.
Aber wie fühlt sich der Tod an?
Ich stelle mir Frieden vor, aber nicht der, der Abenteuer will.
Ich stelle mir Stille vor, aber nicht die, die sich Geräusche sucht.
Ich stelle mir Nichts vor, aber nicht das Nichts, dass sich nach Alles sehnt.
Ich stelle mir vor, und dann wieder auch nicht.
eve Jan 2021
they were your drug
and you overdosed
i read this somewhere and i really liked it
eve Aug 2021
𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦
how could a random four letter word
have such a deep meaning
everyone knows that it's a strong word
but nobody does something about it
because words are supposed to mean

then you introduced me to something
it was the complete opposite
and now I know you didn't mean it
while I always thought words are supposed to
it was another random four letter word for you
𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦
her
eve Apr 2021
her
she's like the brightest star in the sky
the sad but beautiful written poem
the small light in the darkness
the reason everyone searchs for
her touch is magical and full of love
her eyes give you a sense of home
she's the little leo we desire
the love to her will never vanish
her name is lisa <3
for my best friend <3
eve Jan 2021
u‘ll never look like the girl in the magazine
the girl in the magazine doesn't
even look like the girl in the magazine
and thats okay
ily
eve Mar 2021
nothing hurts more than living in a house you can't call home
eve Jan 2021
the things you hate about yourself
are the reasons i'm in love with you
the fact that you don't see yourself
the way i see you
hurts me so much
your love makes me want to be a better person
your eyes make me feel at home
because home is whenever i'm with you
you make me feel safe
i wish you'd believe me
but you don't
old simp stuff for my ex crush lol (he never read it)
eve Jan 2021
you did me wrong
in so many ways
in so many directions
yet sometimes
yet somehow
i always saw the good in you
i tried so hard
to make it work
our love
our relationship
i hoped you would stay
but you left
it was all in my head
and i ask myself every day
"how could you do that to me?"
something i'll never be able to say out loud and as myself.
i'll never understand how people can be so heartless
eve Jan 2021
it ***** when you're constantly admired but never loved
it happens every time
people lose interest in me
it doesn't matter how hard i try
they get tired
and suddenly
they are a distant memory
idk
eve Feb 2021
idk
i know how to love
but i dont know how to believe im loved
overthinking
eve Jan 2021
i remember 100 things
that i don't want to remember
i want to forget them
you are one of them

it's 2 a.m.
i should be asleep
but i'm awake
thinking about you
writing about you

you are the darkness
that comes from the outside
it reminds me of an empty canvas
where i get to mentally draw a picture
of your features
on its blank surface
i still remember all of them
i found love where it wasn't supposed to be
eve Jul 2021
I know more than you think I do
actually, I know everything

i see your insecurities and your nervousness while no one else does
you can't talk about those enemies
because all we're going to hear again
is denial denial denial

other opinions make you sick
and you can't keep up with the society,
in a big crowd of personalities
you can't admit that your identity vanishes
when you have to express yourself
do you know why?
because you've never given yourself some time

at the end i'll give you the illusion I know nothing
and you'll give me the illusion of knowing who you are
we're nothing more than illusions
do you know who you are?
eve Jan 2021
i will forever be mad at the universe for giving you to me when i wasn't ready for you. why did everything have to happen when i was that low? maybe it was better like that,
maybe in another dimension
idk
eve Jan 2021
we have a lot of mixed feelings
and a lot of thoughts
i cant tell which ones are mine

extremely emotional
since we feel others emotions
just as if they are ours

i can feel your pain
i’m hurting with you
we think it’s our job to fix people
it isn’t
eve Jan 2021
we write when we're bored
we write when we want to express our feelings
we write when we want to understand ourselves
we write when it's the only thing left to do

but most important
we write when our heart hurts
love yall
eve Jun 2021
as she looks in the mirror
she can't recognize herself anymore
her reflection
is slowly changing into someone new
someone she doesn't want to be

they say "I wish I had your body"
but all she ever saw were calories
and she stopped eating

they ask "why are you always sad?"
but they don't believe in
trauma and depression
and she keeps breaking

they say "you can trust me"
but they also say that r*pe
and abuse is her fault
and she keeps quiet about it

she would change
everything about herself
if she could

because one girls dream is
another girls nightmare

and everything they do is judge her
eve Jan 2021
i wanna help them but i can't
i can't help people who don't want help
but they used to be so euphoric
i care about them so much
do they know that they need help?
they don't care about anything anymore
not even themselves
:(
eve Aug 2021
anna and I have been friends for one year
and she has 2 different personalities:
quiet in public - loud in only my presence
whispering in public - screaming in only my presence
hiding in public - exposing in only my presence

we fight a lot, but she always understands me
I mean she was my best friend
she should help me, shouldn't she?
she didn't
she slowly killed me
and I couldn't let her go

it was me that gave her the nickname anna
I never cared about her real name
but my doctor told me that he knows it
and that I should stop talking to her
her real name is anorexia nervosa
unfortunately, my anna looked a lot like her
eve Apr 2021
i've invited her to
a dark place i call my mind
and she stayed with me

i've taken her through
a deep ocean i call my tears
and she didn't drown

she's is happiness
she's light
she's poetry
she's my shadow
always there
she's the beautiful flower
in the middle of everything
she's my best friend
<3
eve Jan 2021
i turn off the light
searching for u in the dark
i'll search u forever
everywhere
through this scary place
i call my head
forever n always
eve Jan 2021
somebody knows
but nobody cares
and nobody's there
i don't know anyone, i am
eve Jun 2021
my friend nostalgia is a liar
their lies keep me up at night
and I think about the memories;
nostalgia says they were better than they seemed
so I'm longing for the past again
but that's the problem
it's nothing more but lies

here's another big problem I have with nostalgia
they never remember me about the imperfections;
the not so pretty parts about you and me
when I wish they would;
because maybe then
I wouldn't long for the past in the way I do now

oh, nostalgia, darling
i don't want to be your friend anymore
but i'll write this last love letter about you
eve Jan 2021
you were here
but not for long
i can still smell your scent
from the last hug you gave me
you made november feel
like an eternity full of love,
but for you
was just a blink enough
i remember
your smile,
your style,
your words
which didn't mean anything
nevertheless it was the first thing
i fell in love with
but i'm not mad anymore
i'm healing
at the end i wish you'd understand
everything i said
everything i did
it was never heard or seen
today, nor in november
for my dearest friend s
eve Mar 2021
overthinking is like always being in a labyrinth
there are hundreds of ways
but only one is going to be the right one
nevertheless you have to go through them all.
finally you found the right one
it's a positive or negative outcome;
a mix of all the other ways;
and you kinda knew it from the start.
the next labyrinth is yet to come.
eve Mar 2021
people think i write poetry
because it passes time

but in reality i write poetry
because it takes all my thoughts away.
i have so much to say that can be replaced
with something that can finally make me happy.
eve Jun 2021
we never said it out loud but we both knew
eve Feb 2021
i see you
holding so much sadness and pain
full of emptiness
full of misunderstanding
things you never deserved
imprinted on your flawless skin
i can almost touch the scars of your soul
i love yall
eve Jan 2021
i was all over the place
thought i was getting better
couldn't see you face-to-face
burning your last letter
i knew the outcome from the start
but i didn't care, not a small part
maybe i'll be happy, that's what i thought

its hard to admit
i just want to be needed, a little bit
never ending up being anyones first choice
day and night missing your low voice
i can't explain why i wrote this. i just started writing and that's the result.
eve Jan 2021
kinda hard to love yourself when it feels like no one else does
you're loved
eve Jun 2021
there was that time. and the time before that. i was alone with my silence. i was lost in it’s eternity and it filled me with peace. it’s the type of silence that gave me comfort and i couldn’t let go of it. i was afraid to admit that i found someone who gave me a feeling loneliness never could - you.
you made me want to stop hiding from the shadows, the darkness and the emptiness.
i looked at you in a way i never thought i could look at anyone. i looked at you with hope in my eyes i didn’t know i had.
i looked at you with love in my eyes i thought i’d lost.
so at the end i figured, i’d run out of time
eve Apr 2021
something that's really hard to understand
is that you can't save someone
who has fallen in love with drowning

you could try to send rescue boats their way
but they avoid your effort
they like the waves
the waves of sadness, tears and anxiety

they like to drown in the ocean of their mind
where they have built a home
out of despair, thoughts and hopelessness
and there's nothing anyone could do

at the end you just have to understand,
that you will never be able to save someone
who doesn't want to be saved
eve Jan 2021
i haven't crossed your mind in a long time
but sometimes i hope that you lay down at night
and think of me
wonder what i'm doing
what i look like now
what my new hopes & dreams are
or maybe if i've found someone new
just sometimes
i will always love you
eve Feb 2021
my friend told me 'its gonna get better'
but what if i don't want it to get better?
what if i'm scared to end this pain?
it's the only thing that connects me to you
it's the only moment where i can really feel you
for some reason i don't want this pain to end
short quick poem
eve Jan 2021
i'm not pushing you away bc i don't love you
i'm just worried you'll start to hate me
as much as i hate myself

it's easier pushing myself away
than to deal with the constant feeling of not being enough

no matter how many friends i have,
no matter how many people i'm with,
no matter who says they love me,
i'm all alone
eve Sep 2021
is the sun lonely?
jealous of the moon?
the moon has all the stars
everywhere there are hundreds of stars around it

the sun has only the sky
however it wants more
the sun chases the moon
and it's never fast enough
the moon moves away

then there are the clouds
even if they move
they always come back
but still sometimes,
the clouds aren't what the sun craves for

and maybe that's us
I'm the moon you're the sun
I'm the sun you're the moon
we're too different
to exist side by side
eve Jul 2021
our love reminds me of the weather

sometimes the sun is shining
and we can't get enough of it
we're laughing, we're smiling;
we're happier than ever.
i forget the time and think about our progress
because in these moments I'm truly appreciative

but then, it rains
it pours so awfully loud
as if it's the only thing I hear from you
the clouds are dark and hopeless
filled with tears and grief
and the bad weather purposely stays for a while

suddenly the sun comes out
and who would have thought:
we think there's hope for us
- all over again.
why can't it always be sunny?
eve Aug 2021
one day she realized
that she couldn't use sleep as an escape anymore

because it wasn't her body
that was tired all the time
it was her soul.

and she asks herself
would she still be tired
if she would close her eyes and never open them again?
eve Jul 2021
and then I realized
I never knew if it was scarier to be with or without you
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