i wouldn‘t have thought
i‘d think this about you
but I wanna just
skip this part
win the start
maybe not
feel the spark
I wanna get closer
but I‘m too close to you
can I maybe, feel more warmth?
honestly
somewhere between trust and honesty
I don‘t wanna get closed off
shut down
feel the cold

everything was already written
the book already finished
no hopes nor wishes
the road already paved
the way already walked
the clock keeps ticking and ticking
no beginning nor end
its already finished

one bullet
free from thoughts that pull it
please just let me sleep
paranoia that makes me weep
one cut, one rope, one bullet
all the things gone
that make me wanna do it

i was thinking of myself as little
thats why im always taking small steps
thinking ill run fast

walk around in circles
and i miss the site of the city
stare down on the ground
drowned in thoughts
about you
its all in rhymes
string of words in harmony
about you being
my light,
my flower, my heart,
my one and only
my crowned queen, a piece of art
so far apart and so forlorn
the night comes around
and i just went ‘round and ‘round in circles
and im bound to the same conclusion,
the end’s always the same
that i love you

sitting in the train
the mirror next to me
the drums kick in
feel like my world falls apart
shattered
staring in the mirror
my face covered in shards

i need to be alone
bits and pieces of my soul
forlorn
need to regroup and reform
burn everything and built from ashes
rise like the phoenix
the light flashes
the darkness gone for a while

my day starts with you
either by my side
or in my head
either way
we connect
either through our phones
or in your bed

but
this has ended now
the pain was too deep
to still go down this route
a way paved with pain and doubts

im afraid that one day
you wont say it back
show a lack of love
i prayed day after day
for you to stay
for you to say
the words back

i‘m overcome with doubt
my brain numb, i‘m about to finish it
can‘t go a second without wishing it
sought out suffering, can‘t keep it off me
feel the earths pressure on me
about to crumble but i keep on

seems like everyday i got a new problem
no time to even solve the last one
my concepts clash
don‘t know what to believe anymore
cant trust others nor myself
nor my thoughts
they dont linger around
and i just move back and forth
my mood swinging
no progress
got no time to process
all this ****

my mood shifts, drifts till im worn out
my brain about to check out
in vain, i write to find balance
true pain, can you feel it?

problems so heavy
my pen breaks
my heart aches
day after day
headaches and migraines

under all this pressure
do i crack and sink lower
or
take shape and start all over

a bittersweet time
with a deadline
i know what it was
from the get go
still don't wanna let go
quick like ready set go
so much more to say
so much more to do
i count day after day and
before you move away
promise me
ill stay on your mind

sloppy wrist
snotty nose
teary eyes

i laid there
and realized
i gotta let go

for the longest
my only friend been my brain
and it promised
not to gossip
but now the news have been passed on
sitting in solace
i know its alright
because i ***** all these thoughts around
no one but me and him
will hear them though
because i closed the gates
voluntarily
ignorance is bliss
i placed the bars myself
wouldn't let anyone near me
but the hate still palpable

who am i?
i don‘t even know myself
alone with my demons
how should they even know?
nobody is knocking on the door
there are worse things
than being alone
though the feeling
is known

my life’s a painting
not yet finished
but the outcome is clear
dark tones mixed with light ones
the light triumphs the dark
so it seems
a glimmer of hope
eaten alive from the overwhelming darkness that may be called life
the light gives hope
which is then demolished immediately
thinking it won the fight
but the war goes on
the more paint used
the darker it gets
only the painter and i
understand the meaning of it

the depressing colors
of everyday life
are more present
than the happy ones
but they shine brighter with the sun
theres always a window or a door out
but
even the weakest light beats the darkest tone

humans will always find a way to make their problems seem bigger than they actually are

one does not need intelligence to be loving and compassionate

intelligence and knowledge are not every- and anything in this world

stuck in-between not caring at all and caring for the wrong things

we all get put in a box at birth
how do you except to grow,
if you never crawl out of it?

life is like war. if you fear it before you live it, you‘ve already lost

people hate things they couldnt have

people love to think about the end of things;
end of the month
end of the week
end of the day

but never will they think about the end of their life and only sit and wait like fools til the day comes.

nowadays nobody thinks about the world anymore. life became too static and the way to passive. the path is already there, surrounded by walls left and right. so why even bother to know whats behind them?

only if the door of the mind is open
you can change the inside

i know lifes absurd
i know it doesnt matter
but i still
try my best
lifes weird
i know what the end has coming for us
but i sill try
searching for a meaning,
i already know
everything and nothing

in a constant discussion with the universe
and i lose every single time

the past
is like wind
blowing towards you
one is stronger than air

when the time
of the tornado
comes
you have to dodge it
or it will vaporize you

and you will know
when the
clouds move quick
and the colors
of dark and light mash
and noise turns into silence
when the world seems balanced
perfectly even,
then you will know
that nothing is going to be

the heart beats temporary
people must realize this as ordinary
their time limited
why choose to be a foe to the world
if you can think rationally

feel your chest ponding at night
your whole body
this is what keeps you alive
but your brain is what keeps you refined
people care when their heart fails
but not when their brain starts
to smell rotten, in its little shell

live life to the fullest
don’t lay there
strangled by the voices
in your head
unconscious
doing nothing against it

lost the urge to talk to people and became happier

failure or not
at least my grandchildren
will remember me
remember that i
tried

moment of clarity
some say
you‘ll see white or black
go deeper or get out

the only thing you‘ll really see
is white
looking above
of the hole

doesn't matter
if you got the mask on
even hermits could see
your true intentions through these
holes

drunk with doubts
self inflicted wounds
just you can heal them

humanities fall
perpetually
surely
and constantly
loosing leaves
once the season
ending
and the anguish
settles in
we will grow

i dig my own path
no disturbance
if i want you here
ill tell you

the cities are ugly
balanced and symmetric design does not
fit into this world
its unnatural
only divides us more from the
pure

the red bricks destroy the green woods
leave them alone
do not interfere
if you do
do not ask why it despises us

my eyes
underlined black
you'll see the importance of them
and you'll never look back
they‘ll tell you a story
a story you will never forget

all it takes
is to watch out the window
any window
it’ll give you a frame
a frame to observe
observe out of it
and you will learn

thoughts and innovations trapped by steel bars of prejudices and doubts, will never be able to come out

the keys
hit me like a brick
a wake up call
and i get the jist
of it