I survived to 21
Where I can finally get a nice buzz in peace
So here’s to whatever the **** is next
At least I won’t have to do it sober

She hates herself
Everything about her makes her cringe and cry
So she climbs inside a bottle
And tries to drown

Do you ever just hate yourself and your body and your whole being that you just want to crawl out of your skin but you can’t so you desperately want to self medicate and can’t do that either and the only relief you can find is by punishing yourself by cutting your own skin and you get this sense of well being from nursing your wounds like maybe you actually can be put back together?

I have a strong tendency to spiral
One drink and I have to have more
Then it’s better
Then it’s worse
Sleep... then it’s worse
And I need another drink...
Mood plummets
Thoughts get loud
Medicine becomes fog in my mind
And I crave blood

25 days to 21
Then maybe I’ll get a bit of peace

tw suicidal thoughts



As a child
I used to fear
Falling asleep
And never waking up

But now
I think about it
And it seems
An exquisite mercy

I feel safe in the night
Surrounded in darkness and a cozy blanket
Dogs sleeping soundly
The world is my room
And it’s all only mine

No one will open the door
They’re all also themselves
And I can finally breathe
With the weight of the day
Of their burdens
Of the household
Of my burdens
Off my shoulders