My dear,

I've lost everything I hold near;
you've turned my heart into a constant pit of fear
where I flinch at the sight of possible pain
and lose sight of the flame
I ever saw in us.

It's such a shame
that I have to put up such a fuss
because I never really did much
to stop what was bothering me the most,
just let it drift away like a coast;
might as well take a toast
to all the few good times we had
and be glad
that you could've been the biggest part of my life.

I really don’t want to do this,
but you've turned my infatuated bliss
into something that could be dismissed;
I was ready to put all my cards on the table,
expose my all like a fable,
but everything got blown away
when you decided to stop giving me the time of day
and shut down everything I had to say.
You're a ****.
You make me go berserk
even when you give me just the smallest smirk.
I cant take this.

You never have anything nice to say;
think that makes me want to stay?
I'm over this whole act.
Have you ever learned manners?
No? Do you expect me to adapt
to this pettish play
where 'men' are mean to the ones they like?
That doesn’t even make sense.
Why would you act in anger
or give any thought of danger
to someone you want to give your heart to?
Does that somehow make sense to you?

But, when I look into your eyes
I can see past all these tries,
that I truly despise,
and I see the real you.
The one that wants to hold my hand;
someone who wants to understand
everything I demand
and commit to who I really am.

Playing this tug-of-war
will be the end of me.
But, the game continues because of this stupid life I wished for.
I should just shut the door
since this has just become a chore
I have to bear
because it only seems fair
since your eyes tell me more than the rest of you.

I think we're through
unless you change your ways that have somehow became apart of you.


Sincerely,

Your almost Love

I held your hand while you cried;
cradled your heart as it slowly died.
She let you down,
and I was the only one around
to pick up the pieces
listen to your speeches
about how she was the one,
that she was your sun.
You were so frustrated, but so full of hope
convinced that you were going to at least elope
with a girl that never truly gave you her heart.
God, I used to think you were smart.

That’s what Love does to the soul:
makes you feel whole,
but can also turn you into an *******.

Should’ve just stabbed me in the back then.
Why did I ever consider you my friend?
You’ve ****** me over already;
I should’ve just grabbed a machete
to hack at everything our friendship used to be.
Why did you do this to me?
I stood by side.
I gave you everything I could provide.
What did I do wrong?
I need to stay strong.
This was nothing I could foresee,
but I’m still saying in my mind, why me?
Everything I did apparently meant nothing to you
our friendship was nothing of true value:
just a temporary thing,
nothing that I thought Life would bring.

Though I still find this hard to comprehend
I know now that you were never my friend
so this is finally the end.

At the time,
I didn’t realize how much you were mine.

I let you go thinking nothing of it;
now I’m constantly reminding my mind to submit
to the pain I brought upon myself
consumed by this empty wealth
called Freedom.

Code Name: Loneliness.
With my selfishness,
I should’ve expected nothing less.

My heart is hidden deep in a dungeon
locked thirteen ways for the occasion
of when I see your face for the first time
and I know I cant call you mine,
but I want to.
I need to.

I've been thinking this through:
you saved my heart from my deep rooted sub-conscience
that reminds me everyday that I am not wanted,
but you changed that
you gave me a chance at bat,
and I swung so hard just to impress you,
but when was the day that all fell through?
The day when you began to ignore me?
What happened to the heart that set me free?
Did it run and hide when **** got old?
Or did it hate always being told
that "you are my only one"?
When was the day you thought I am done?

Your memories haunt me
like a shadow on a street,
but you still have the audacity to say
"You are not worth any time in my day,"
and that's when I realized: this is it.
You were never my perfect fit
just another piece to the puzzle of life,
but I need you to know that I tried with all my might
to make you the one.
To make you my sun.
To make you the air I breathe.
All I wanted was to hear, "You're all I need."

I was living in a fairytale spun with lies and lore
thinking this is not what life is for.
There has to be something more
why else is life full of open doors?
So many opportunities that have slipped from my hands
because my wrists were wrapped with bands
holding me back from everything that could have been
and all I needed was for you to be my friend,
but you couldn't even do that
what happened to my chance at bat?
My voice screams without making a sound
because silence was the only thing cherish-able you found;
that was fine with me
as long as you continued to set me free,
but you locked me away without even giving me the time of day
you wonder why I cheated?
I was so defeated.
I needed that feeling of being freed once again.
I needed my friend.
You were nowhere to be found
and because I was so used to making no sound
I couldn't scream for help
even though pain was all I felt.

I needed you,
but you fell through.
When the days turn to weeks and the weeks turn to months and then into years
I hope that I am not formulated into one of your fears,
but rather a key
that will eventually help set you free
from the dungeon you've hidden yourself in.