a monster
i'm a monster.
i hurt.
no fair cause i hurt.
all hurt.

i'm definitely going through a season of loneliness.
all because i don't know how to
properly
give my attention
to what matters.

i feel a thing.
someone is a thing.
i get wrapped up.
forget i have a life.

a god.


it's dangerous.
that's how i love so hard.
all this energy i wanna give to someone.
someone except Jesus.


what's really the problem here

who am i?
and why am i so afraid of being alone?
when in all actuality
i'm not.

it's too much
all is too much
no luck

it's hard for me to trust
i need someone
someone with my same energy
or better

God, why are you doing this to me?

i liked him
at first
he was sweet
at first
made me laugh
at first
i didn’t feel uncomfortable around him
at first
because
he didn’t want anything from me
at first
he was a gentleman
at first
seemed to be able to control himself
at first
had a bright smile
that made me produce the same
at first
i thought that what i saw was what i got
and everything is what it seems
at first

life *****
but so do those with
sweet teeth
in the presence of
candy on a stick.

i made this in seconds
i felt these before
i type and write and type and write
iv'e felt this way before
when all i can do is creative away
the pain right away
raw
coming from the side walls of my heart
raw
something meaningful and powerful
to me
to we
to us
later on in life

she spoke
but nobody believed her
nobody will believe her
so she doesn't speak

you lose when you let them take your joy
from you
and when you don't ****** it back
it's all on you
the one who is in control
of your life
nobody can take anything that belongs to you
don't let them
****** it back
or else you'll lose

just because i'm speechless
doesn't mean i don't know how i feel
it's just that i can't put it in words
for you to understand
my broken english
i don't know, i just
i mean its
sometimes i wish
i never meant for it
to happen
y'know?
of course you don't
you never do