I don't want to write something sad
I don't want to write something while on the brink of tears
I don't want to write something filled with fears

I want to write something beautiful
I want to write something equivalent to a summer morning
One where the trees look black against the dim sunrise and the birds sing and the wind blows gently as if to rejoice in the new days light once again

I want to write something worth remembering
Like the first time one sees the northern lights in the dark winter sky
Like the red, green and blue dancing across the stars

I want to write something that makes someone smile
I want to write something that makes someone stop and think for a moment
I want to write something that someone somewhere finds something in
I want to write something that hasn't been written before in other words

But alas, when I write I get lost in the dark
In the cold
In the fact that the stars are so far away and aurora borealis isnt something magical but is caused by solar flares
In the fact that with anything good something bad almost always follows

I wanted to write something beautiful
I wanted to make someone somewhere smile

I can see the colors and hear the birds
I can feel the breeze and smell the sweet smell given off of bluming trees
But to everything beautiful there is something ugly

Why do I always find myself writting about the ugly?

It's crazy to say
But I love him so much
Thing is he's much older than me
He's just so flawless
He big beautiful blue eyes
That are sometimes green
His perfect smile
Oh so stunning
And his voice
His voice
Is oh so beautiful

First sight is too little time but first word is just enough.
I felt the hook slide through my lip and it tasted sweet like lies.
Those words and syllables and ties and lies
Sent tingles from my lips to my hips to my fingertips.
It felt like paisley bandannas and lollipops
From the good old days when raindrops didn’t burn.
Each letter echoed through my ears and out through my nose,
Then I snorted them again like an addict would.
I breathed you and tasted you and pictured you.
I loved you just then.
Listen closely now because I want you to hear me
With your eyes and your lips.
Your ears can rest
Because all you need to know is that
I am not beautiful but I taste like roses.
When the air gets cold and
I can taste the peppermint of winter-time
I’ll think of you and know that you taste it to.
Even if you’re galaxies away and
Can’t hear me when I call you
I know that we are one because
I feel your heart beating
When the hammer slams down and your teeth hit mine.
When the kiss of death falls upon me and
You’re its deliverer and
I can’t breathe but I can scream,
I will surrender to your antics and
Fall slowly with you till the cotton candy clouds catch me.
I’ll know that you never even knew me but
You swept me away anyway.
I’ll love you then.

******* lie to me, love.
Tell me that you'll still be here tomorrow.
When our tired eyes won't stay open through the night.
Tell me that you love the way my hair falls over my shoulders and down my back.
Tangle yourself up in me and kiss my smoky lips.
Leave bruises on my sides in the shape of your hands and force me to remember that you were the one who put them there.
Stop and let the feeling of your lips on my forehead burn its self into my memory.
Roll out of bed and put on your clothes before the sun comes up to shine on your regrets.
I'll pretend to sleep and let you go.
Even though we both know that I'm faking, and that you're a liar.
Steal my favorite bra and the rest of my dignity to go with it.
Take with you the memory of the way your name left my lips while I smiled from beside you in the low lights.
I hope every song that played while you learned my darkest secrets echos over in your head while you're driving or trying to fall asleep.
Maybe you'll taste me on your next cup of coffee, or your bed will feel empty without my heat.
Perhaps you'll see my smile on the face of someone else, or another lover will grip your shirt while they sleep.
The thing about tonight is that your lips are chapped and I feel like a promise you might be able to keep.
I whisper in your ear and my fingers feel nice running through your hair.
I'm not afraid to share my cigarettes, and I sleep on the side of the bed you didn't want anyway.
Tell me you'll stay.
******* lie to me, love.

What would you do if I died
You can't reach through the screen
to touch my pale face
because of course I'd say good bye