I feel myself slipping.
The ground slowly crumbles
from beneath me
to swallow me whole;
into that dark abyss once more.
I know it’s coming for me.
I can’t escape it.
My legs are full of lead,
too heavy to lift;
weighing me down
and helping me fall faster
to rock bottom once more.

Head to heart
is as
trainer to animal.
I've always been able to tame
the wild creature in my chest
with logic and reason.
Although,
when it comes to you,
the ***** is a feral beast.
Just one glance
and my heart pumps so viciously,
that it escapes the bone cage
made up of my lungs
and runs free;
wild and untamable.

That day was a penultimate beginning of the end.
She had known it too
somewhere deep inside,
but it threatened to compromise her “happiness.”
So, she chose to disregard it completely,
although seemingly ridiculous notions
already started swirling through her mind.
Anxiety began to bubble up and
s
p
i
l
lllll  over.
Her locked away thoughts and feelings
ate away even more at her festering heart.
Then, it ended.
Slowly, so slowly,
she healed; returned to normal.
The scars are still there,
but she stands stronger than before.

A force stronger than gravity
pushing down.
Stumbling,
reaching out,
unable to find purchase;
Falling,
falling,
falling...
but does it ever end?

Quite often, I ponder
“What’s worse?”
a love that once was
or a love that could have been
and the ”what if” that follows it?