Fins like blue feathers
Tail like a red setting sun
Peace finds me, sweet fish

My hands drip with sweat
   I swear, they do it on purpose
They want you to know
    That I am too nervous

     My words
          trip right over
  my tongue

      And in doing so
          they come out
   all wrong

      I wish that
         my mouth and
   my words

       Would be
           able to just
   get along

           I'm too nervous
   to look you in the eyes
And you tie my
    stomach into bows
    They're bows,
  and not knots
     because, simply put,
It's something
     that no one else knows

     You make me so sick,
and I can't see straight
        I'm too nervous
      to stand by your side
My words pour right out
      like a beer on tap
But I wish I could
     keep them inside

I know I'm odd, I'm aware that I'm strange
But your ***** looks and harsh words won't make me change
I'm merely a person, I mean you no harm
But I'm cursed with awkwardness, you're blessed with charm

I admit that I'm weird, I know I seem strange
But you look at me like I'm a dog that has mange
I'm just trying to live the way that I see fit
So why do you try to make me feel like ****?

I'm proud that I'm different. I gloat that I'm strange
I enjoy the obscure way my life is arranged
I feel sorry for you, because you're a bore
When I see your-dull-self I just can't help but snore

And yes, I'm quite strange. And I'm such a riot!
My lips are so anxious, my mouth can't keep quiet
I live as I please, and I love who I am
If you don't like me, I don't give a ****

I've been reaching to the sky, but not for stars
I'd rather pull a cloud down, if I dare
The clouds are like the sky's own set of scars
If you look close enough, they are always there

And if I were to rescue all house plants
From where they're buried in their lonesome graves
I'd feed them to a hill of hungry ants
Because nature is full of docile slaves

If a hungry snake approached me on request
I'd feed it all the rats that it could eat
There's nothing inside nature I detest
Because all creatures born are made of meat

If Jesus Christ himself came up to me
And asked me why I don't believe in him
I'd scream "Oh ****! It's a ******* zombie!"
And then I'd move on and forget my sin

I swear it's true I'd come home to you,
but I can't find my car keys
And I can't remember where it is we live

I took a train ride across your eyes into your mind and through your spine
And saw some great scenery along the way
I was asked to keep my greedy hands inside the ride,
but I didn't listen
and I lost my forearm trying to take a piece of your heart with me

Ejected from my seat, I see you slowly getting smaller
I just had to push that big, red button to see what it did
Curiosity is doing its best to **** me again
I just have to run my hand through each flame to make sure it's hot
Because when I finally find one that's not,
I want to make sure I don't miss it

I found a four leaf clover hoping it would help me write
But I just kept writing haikus and other short, miserable *****
So I made a big spit about vanity, and how all other poets were lame
Spewing all my most petulant thoughts, and in time, soiling my name

But although I'm now seen as a fool,
a sad, childish, pathetic clown
I'm still trying to pretend I'm cool
And attempting to bring you all down

Education never made it passed basic spelling
But I still hope to write words at least somewhat compelling
It's unfair and you ****, all your words are so old
Stay away from my rainbow and my *** of gold!

You hold the world inside your smile
I keep your smile in my eyes
You imprison my heart in denial
I feel at home in your lies

I hold Hell inside of my spirit
And I use my heartache to burn
The world is on fire, can you hear it?
The ashes can go in my urn

The world is on fire, and I'm laughing
I can't help but smile at the flames
As the people around me are gasping
And my selfish ways are to blame

I wait til there's nothing but ashes
And cry at this sad, empty place
My memories are gone in short flashes
And the glow is erased from my face

I lost my last little marble
My marble had gotten away

I lost the last of my marbles
My last marble is gone, I say

I lost my very last marble
I can't find my marble, no way

I lost the last precious marble
My marble could not stand to stay

'Round the corner rolls my marble
My last marble came back, today

I now have back my last marble
With one left, I should be okay

There was a fly who landed in my beer mug
And he sang a sad song, thinking he would die
But I loved the chirpy voice that came from this bug
I knew he was a very special fly

I drank him up, because I wanted to keep him
I needed him to become part of me
I asked him for his name and he squeaked "Jim"
And we became the best friends we could be

He sang to me at nighttime so I could sleep
Sweet lullabies from my dear friend to me
I hope that he's a friend I can still keep
Even after I've taken a big ***

Oh, lovely sunshine on my skin
How you bathe me in your beauty
And you fill my face with the smile of a thousand baby bunnies

My head is filled with cotton candy kittens
Whose ears have just been bitten
Happier words will never be written

I sit atop a rainbow above a stampede of unicorns
And all the fairies flutter as the baby birds are born


La la la
la dee ******* da
What a beautiful ******* day in the neighborhood?
Nah.

I've got marbles in my mouth
I keep choking myself to spit them out
So I can watch them spin onto the ground
And turn into stars
As the darkness around me decides to eat them

Things just haven't been the same
since I grew older
I've aged too quickly due to addictions
and poor circumstances

The pile of mistakes I've made has grown so tall,
it towers over me
And sways dangerously when the wind blows

I wish I could unglue the glue
and undo
every bad thing that I've ever done to you
But decisions are ours to **** up
and without the ability to choose I'd be even more miserable
I guess I should at least try to be grateful for that,
if nothing else

Why am I so hateful?

Because I'm alone.

Why am I alone?

Because I'm so hateful.

rust builds up
around my tear ducts
moss grows
upon my skin
and splinters
pump through
my veins
as they
tear me
open

sun shines
and rain drips
just enough
to wash me clean
enough to
start again
inside a dream

only time can
erase me
from myself
and leave me
as something different
entirely

a cactus grows
very slowly
but it lives for
a long time

it's covered in spines
and flowers
as a warning
not to taint its
beauty

I've always wanted
to be like
a cactus

I open up my mouth, and shoot out greyish rainbows
When I try to sing, I shatter all the glass
If you look into my eyes as all my pain grows
You'll see the burning char and mounds of ash

The insides of my guts are filled with spiders
Cockroaches, rats, and ticks, and little fleas
And more secrets revealed in this insider
Will show you I'm also filled with wasps and bees

As bugs and vermin crawl around inside me
I'm torn apart and run into the ground
I try to use my false armor to hide me
from all the **** that try to tear me down

But all the decay that grows inside my chest
Rots me out like an uprooted tree
And when I'm finally empty like the rest
I'll forget that I'd ever been me

Her foot hit the gas as she guzzled her *****
All the cars zooming past as her brain slowly oozed
Faster and faster she sped with her thoughts
Riding around near the other robots

Her mind racing faster, her foot did the same
Speed reading each chapter, driving the fast lane
Her ***** filled her throat, her thoughts filled her car
The windows flowed with smoke from her petite cigar

As her rampant thoughts so instantly filled her
The poems she brought were what actually killed her
As she drove off the road in a swarm of her words
And her greatest poem thought up was never even heard

This world keeps growing colder as I walk
And it makes the icy air so hard to breathe
My lips are frozen shut, and I can't talk
And I see that all the snails are trying to leave

The poor things always move so **** slow
And they just couldn't seem to escape the cold
I knew I had to save them from the snow
But I wasn't sure how this was to unfold

I tried to pick them up and take them with me
I put them in my coat to keep them warm
But I came across some birds who looked quite hungry
And when they saw my snails, they began to swarm

I did my best to keep my shelled friends safe
From the blizzard and the swarm of feathered beasts
But the birds and snow were eating away at my face
And I accidentally let my snails get released

It wasn't long before the poor things were all eaten
After all I did, I couldn't save just one
I felt defeated, because I had been beaten
And my poor shelled friends were all dead and done

Pieces
Fragments
So many shreds

Broken
Shattered
Rotten and dead

But if I take all these messes
and sew them together
Maybe I'll create something swell

My hate and my stresses
I've harbored forever
And my brain isn't feeling too well

If I collect all my sickness,
and tears that I've spilt
Petals of my heart
Fall apart
And they wilt
But I sew these along
with my fear
and my guilt
The friendships destroyed
right after they were built
All the scraps of my days
and my rotten ways
will be sewn into a terrible quilt

I learned how to fly the day I fell in love
I sprouted white wings and turned into a dove
But my dark, wicked soul is tired and graven
So I crumble to black dust, and turn into ravens

Now dozens of black birds are filling the skies
With loud cawing sounds of mad crows and magpies
And quickly the black birds turn into dark clouds
Throwing out thunder and drowning the crowds

And those clouds pour water out of their blackness
As fresh, rigid spines grow out of a cactus
And a dove tries to land, as its foot bleeds a sea
As it withers away, it turns back into me

It took me so long to recognize
the world I see inside your eyes
Where the water meets the sky
and they shake hands
and become friends
and then they **** each other

The trees are never green and the mountains are nothing but ant hills,
filled with tiny, hard working insects
who refuse to give up
or take a rest

The rivers taste like oil
They're thick
and slick
and no one wants to swim here

The winds don't whisper to me, they scream
And I don't care much for the types of things they say about me
or my life
or who I've been

I don't know how I missed it before
How I could be so blinded from seeing who you are under the exterior you've fooled me with
But I see that world now,
and as much as I miss you,
I'm glad I didn't end up living there

What's with all the ******* on the street?
Everywhere I step I've got garbage on my feet
Where did respect for this planet go?
Are we all here simply to put on a show?

What happened to kindness among man?
Is it all rotting in an old trash can?
Where did all the hope for futures end?
How can all these sad humans pretend?

How many trees are left here on this earth?
Is losing all our oxygen really what it's worth
so we can live in a big, fancy tree
that's been cut down and stripped of its beauty?

When will all the people finally die
so Earth can again smile, and no longer have to cry?
When will our rot woefully stop destroying?
When will my words cease and stop annoying?

i hope that when i die,
you're out there laughing
somewhere a thousand miles away from me
and that the air is fresh like the scent of wildflowers
with a chorus of songs playing from all the birds in the trees

i hope i die while you're reading your favorite book, during the part you always used to get so excited to quote
and that the light is just right
so it doesn't strain your eyes
in a place that is not too silent,
but quiet enough to enjoy the sound of each page as it turns

i hope i die in a plane crash
as it spirals from the sky to the sea
because flying and drowning are the two things i fear more than anything
i hope it makes a sound loud enough that you can hear it in the
distance, just enough to make you look up
but not enough to tear you away from your activities

i hope when i die,
i die slowly
so i have enough time to enjoy the pain, and recapture every moment in my brain
that involved you

**** is not a joke.
It is something that happens.
Something that changes the way someone looks at everything.
At everyone in their life.
It makes them afraid to be.
Afraid to live, to breathe, to do anything.
It takes over your life, your views of people, your memories.
It taunts you.
Even when you think you've beaten it,
it does its best to beat you.
It finds you in your sleep.
In your dreams,
it conceals itself in different forms.
And even when it isn't direct,
you know it's there.
It slips itself into everything you do and feel.
It makes *** scary for you,
even when it's with someone you love.
And it makes you feel guilty
for not being able to fully please the person
your heart belongs to
because no matter how hard you try to forget,
every time you get intimate with anyone,
you feel all the pain and fear all over again.
And you wish you could express your love
to your other half
the way you should be able to,
but sometimes you get so sick
you can't even see straight.

It might seem crazy to someone who doesn't understand it.
To those who've luckily never experienced the pain and fear or of being taken advantage of, sexually.
And maybe we are a little crazy from what has happened to us.
But it's not our fault.
It's not a joke.
It's very real.
It happens every day.
To strangers.
To friends, family, and neighbors.
Not everyone is strong enough to admit it,
and that's okay.
It took me many years to even admit it to myself.
But it ******* happens.

It often feels like there's an ocean in my heart
Filled with fish and squids and tons of tiny, little sharks
They swim inside my blood and they help my heart to beat
They swim through it in circles, and make it more complete

Without my little ocean, I soon would surely die
The blueness of my blood pumps the color through my eyes
The sharks swim into the walls around the lining of my heart
If they're not more careful, it may rip and tear apart

Sure enough, my heart is torn and pours a ****** waterfall
I've been torn to pieces, and I've never felt so small
My sharks and squids destroyed me, they broke through my heart's wall
All because I found out you never did love me, at all

this boat will soon rot
and then i'll scream a lot
the sharks here will eat
all my best tender meat
then those sharks will be fished out and caught

my ghost will wail
as other ships set sail
i'll ***** and haunt
as i tease and i taunt
making them all turn frightened and pale

bhumika fulwani WAS a member of hp who has accounts on other poetry sites, and likes to steal other people's work and show it as her own.

another member of hp who wanted to remain anonymous had pointed out to me that she was using one of my poems on another site.

i was able to prove that i had written mine first and the stolen poem has now been removed.

i would strongly suggest searching for her on other sites, maybe even here, and make sure she hasn't stolen anything from you.
She recently deleted her account here. But on power poetry dot org she has an account with stolen poetry from many of you. I've seen it.

I am a constant disappointment to myself and everyone around me
I keep trying, and failing, and dying, and trying all over again
Only to flail
And fail
And wallow in pain
I'm sorry that I hurt you
I don't intend to get the answers wrong every time,
but I guess I'm just not very smart

I make myself better
I throw away my vices and I try so hard to smile
But what's the use?
When every time I play the game I always seem to lose
I was never good enough
I know that
But you bit off more of me than you can chew,
and now you're cursed to choke on it,
let's see how well you do

I'd offer you a glass of water,
But you'd just keep turning blue
And you'd refuse the help I offered you
Only to blame me for your demise after you finally close your eyes
Somehow, it's always my fault
when you choose to die

Dad, there are so many things I never got to tell you
I wish you knew how much I loved you, and how badly I needed you to stay
Now your brains are on the floor
and all my memories of you are stained
The clock is still ticking in my head,
but for you, it's stopped
There is no more for you, here

I'm sorry I wasn't able to see your pain clearly

I wished so hard upon every star I'd seen that you would be okay
Every candle I blew out as I became older, I used all my wishes on you

And I feel gypped
Like it was all a waste of breath
A waste of time to try
if you were just bound to give up and die
But what's the use in being angry?
Every time I feel anything, it eventually fades to numbness
I haven't been able to keep you out of my dreams, and I wish you would stop haunting me

I'm not your little girl anymore
No, you gave that up when you left this world
And your blood has left a smear across my eyes
That's all I can see
All that I know
And I just need for the pain to slow down

But I never want it to stop,
because when the pain stops, the love stops
And I will always
ALWAYS
love you

I'm not really sure if I have any worth
At least not in an unwanting dump like the earth
I'm hideous inside when I'm dissected
I live out my days and my life disrespected

Thank you to God for making me believe
In science and truth and proof, undeceived
Thank you, dear Lord for making me an atheist
Read what you want, and take what you want from this

My truth is unfolded, and spread like a sheet
I don't live in faith or in naive deceit
I'm hard to agree with, and I won't stand down
I stick to my thoughts and I won't turn around

I find you hilarious when you think I care
I laugh in your face when you're standing right there
When you say I'm wrong, it just makes me purr
If you ever despise anyone, I am her

Let me clean the house while you're at work, babe
And rub your feet when you get home each night
And I'll go down on you the way you do crave
Take your rotten day and set it right

I'll do all the dishes while you're eating
And when I'm done, I'll get you a cold beer
You're so sweet for letting my heart keep beating
I'm so lucky to be your lady, dear

So all of you ladies, just quit your *******'
And get your sweet ***** back in the kitchen

Once, years ago
I looked at my dad
And he saw in my eyes
That I was so sad

So he grabbed my hand
And we walked down the street
And he said
"There's someone I'd like you to meet"

He covered my eyes
And not a moment too soon
Much to my surprise
I got my first balloon

I was excited
But also confused
I wasn't sure
How this contraption was used

But my tears faded fast
As I grabbed my new friend
And my dad started smiling
Until I cried again

I was unaware
That my new friend could fly
And when I let go
He got lost in the sky

I watched with tears in my eyes
As he drifted out of sight
If I would have known
I would've held on tight

So I then asked my dad
Where the balloons go
Because dad was really smart
So he would have to know

He described to me
A perfect circus in the sky
Where balloons went to live
When they drifted up too high

So then, once more
My dad wiped away my tears
And he wrapped me in his arms
To remind me he was here

Harvey was a lonely boy who was terrified of girls
He adored their crimson lips, their curves, and their cute, little curls
He wished and longed for love to come, and to finally be touched
In his mind he'd grab their chests, keeping their ******* tightly clutched

He had perverted thoughts that would run all through his brain
Thinking about ******* women drove Harvey insane
His pants would grow much tighter as the girls ran through his thoughts
Until he would explode, repeatedly staining the same spots

Harvey needed contact from a lady he could hold
He didn't want to live alone until he grew too old
So on he searched for just one gal who'd maybe understand
But until he found her, he'd stick to using his hand

He checked in every corner, every alley, every crack
Hoping he would find a woman who would love him back
Until he did see someone who caught his cautious eye
He'd fallen into love at first sight, although he was shy

So Harvey walked up to the gal who'd just stolen his heart
They instantly got busy, and he tore her right apart
They rolled around until he moaned and filled her with his ***
But he didn't know she was a mannequin until he was done

His beauty goes unseen
Due to cracks it falls between
He doesn't know how much I obsess
About everything he's ever written about me...



It doesn't matter how obtuse you are, my dear
I still think you're a-cute
And I know we must be right
Because it's 90° out here

I'd have spinal meningitis
if my dying wish could be
to spend one day setting fire to Jupiter with you
And watching it burn

And we could listen to terrible music
As we make it on Saturn
Looking back at Earth
Never again to return

perhaps
my spine
is misshapen
like
the shady smile
of
the moon

and my pigeon toes
make my walk
look awkward
as i stumble through my life

i am not
one of those women
who has a graceful
step

i don't
float
like a feather

i plummet
like an anvil

i'm clunky

i'm awkward
and uncoordinated

short-legged
and
short-tempered

i am the little salty one

that stumpy
grumpy
gal
with the posture
of a woman
three times
my age

i hunch
and i crunch
because i am always
trying to hide my stomach
even when i'm paper thin

which just makes
my back look arched
and curved
but doesn't tuck
my chubby parts in

strangers often
assume i'm much younger
than i am

but my mirror cracks
when i look at it
and i can only
seem to see
the parts
of
myself
that i hate

My mouth always insists on speaking the truth
When I try to lie, my lips always come loose
I lay it all out for everyone to see
I don't try to hide the scary parts of me

I'm always so proud, not at all ashamed
But not everyone seems to feel the same
I hate being lied to, it drives me insane
But sometimes the truth causes just as much pain

I try to be honest but it never works
Because I'm always attracted to jerks
And when I speak the truth I don't stand a chance
They don't want honesty, they want in my pants

And this is all fine, I do understand
I'm sure that I feel better than your hand
But that's not what I want, I don't want to be used
I've done this enough. My heart is so bruised

I just want a chance to enter your heart
But you push me away, and pick me apart
I can't just be the pieces you need
You get the whole package, just as you see

And if you can't handle when I speak the truth
My words are insipid and often reused
Then please turn around and just walk away
I'm ready to just be my true self today

I am plague.

      I am pestilence.
              
               I am disease.

If this is all a test, I think I'm failing
I want to be the best but I'm no good
I rest under a stone with a long shadow
And nest under the roots and rotting wood

I leave a part of myself behind for you
Perceive this as the way you want it to
Achieve another praising if you can't see
Believe the only things you've seen as true

Bitter bits are bitten as my heart falls through the floor
My life is rewritten as you wander through the door
I'm swollen and smitten, I won't lie, I want much more
It's my heart you've been hittin' and it's you that I adore

I believe in Bigfoot
I believe he created us in his image
I believe that Little Bigfoot died on a cross and became a zombie on Easter

Dear Bigfoot,

Thank you for allowing me to live after I killed your son.

Thank you for showing me that my way is right and everyone else is evil and must be saved.

Thank you for making me hate anyone who is different from me, but I'll still tell everyone else to love thy neighbor.

Thank you for terrifying me into loving you. For shoving your ideas down my throat and telling me I'll burn if I think for myself.

Thank you, Bigfoot, for being the horrible monster that we all love and adore so much because we're afraid not to.

Thank you, for being a *******.

Thank you for modeling us after your image so we could be hideous and evil.

Thank you for creating misery and death.

Amen

there is another world
we're often unaware exits
and the only time
our minds will open up
and let us see
is when we're dreaming

it consists of rules
and plans
we're unfamiliar with

the customs both confuse us
and make us want for more

there are parallel selves
to every one of us living there
and each time we visit,
we discover something more

the places that I've seen
in all my dreams
are filled with fragments
of universes
multiplied so many times
I cannot count them

but there are bits of beauty I steal from every one of them
and I take what I can get
leftover from you
when your dreams aren't remembered

Trying to write words, but thinking of nothing exciting
I hear the sound outside of two animals fighting
But I get upset because it distracts me from my writing
And the poetry that I am always so often reciting

But what's the point of speaking without a voice?
When no one is there to hear your pointless noise?
Feeling like there's poison in my spirit
as I shout about my life, but you simply can't hear it

And all I can feel is waste
as I think about the way you taste
But I love you, you ******* ****
I give up, but I can't quit

I'm just too ******* tired, my head's overflown
I'm petty and mean, and meant to be alone

I don't know who I am anymore

I wish I was wearing my name tag

Me at 7- "being a kid *****."

Me at 10- "being a tween *****."

Me at 14- "being a teenager *****."

Me at 20- "being an adult *****."

Me at 25- "being *****."

The blood on my lips tastes metallic
As I take one more punch to the face
And I just keep laughing my head off
While you turn my brain into paste

I could fight back, but I am too lazy
So I just lie down and take the hits
And perhaps I've just gone kinda crazy
Or I just love the blood on my lips

It's alright if you want to keep fighting
I'd rather just lie down and die
This brawl is so fresh and exciting
I'm glad that I gave it a try

I'm drowning in a pool of my own *****
And wondering if this is now my end
I hate my world and wish that I could bomb it
Rebuild it right and start it all again

I fall asleep in a puddle of my tear drops
And I wake up with a salty, crusted face
Waiting for the day the earth finally stops
And a better world can then take its place

I wake up in a hole, I'm six feet under
Buried alive, but always dead inside
I give up as I roll over and plunder
And the people of this new world try to hide

I want to lick all the clown paint off of your face
Undo your motley pants, and give you a good taste
I'd love to ring your bells as I make you my fool
Dance for your queen, and follow my rule!

I want to make you dance around so I can smile
And you may beg for rest, but you'll receive denial
I love you, harlequin with your silly, foolish ways
You'll make good entertainment for my remaining days

When you're a poet:

Your heart doesn't bleed blood, it bleeds ink
It bleeds your secrets
It bleeds your history
It sends your memories off for a long and dangerous ride

Your eyes warn the people who approach to step carefully,
the ground is often eroding beneath your feet
Tear droplets form metaphors that run from your cheeks onto the page

Sleep is secondary to your thoughts
The nights beg for attention and play loud music through the walls to keep you awake

Your feet are always tapping to the beat of a song you've never heard

Your lips are quiet, but you always have something to say

When you're a poet, you feel everything
EVERYTHING
you feel the world swallowing you whole and your limbs brushing softly against its esophagus
And you're just trying to pass the time until you're either digested or regurgitated

i am not my poetry
i don't believe i ever was

i am simply a tourist
of the english language;
borrowing its time and words
so i may think for one moment
that i have a voice

but this is outer space, honey
where the sound can't travel
and the gravity has taken a break
from holding us in place
the endless, silent flotation
caresses our senses,
and cages us in a constant
state of uncertainty


you could be you
you could be her, him, them
you could be anybody

me, i could be me
i could be you
we could be we
but we're not we
we are nothing
and no one

and our words are just words

I once carved a heart into a picnic table,
didn't place any names or initials inside
I didn't have any face or love in mind
I just knew I wanted to

Maybe the lines I was tracing with the tip of my blade
weren't meant to be etched into the wood that day
I think I should have waited until I knew your name and saw your face in every place

The picnic table still sits somewhere, I'm sure
The heart I carved has probably been filled with the wrong name
or of something stupid
like a *****
or a smiley face

But I'll carve another heart one day into a picnic table
And I know it's going to be your name I decide to fill it with, next time
Every sign I can make out with my poor eyesight leads to you
So I know the next place I'll be driving my car to