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Xaria Feb 2021
I used to dream about a prince
But they never had a face
I forced myself to dream
Of some fairytale place
Thought it was the right way

But things changed
I would think of glossed lips
Painted nails
Soft fingertips
My life rearranged

But it’s wrong,
So wrong
So i try
So I dream
So I cry
So I scream

I sweep it under the rug
But the dust keeps coming up
Wont go away,
Wont stay the same
Things have to change

But its wrong
So wrong
So I tried
So I dreamed
So I cried
So I screamed

Now I’ve got a girl
In my head and heart too
Now I’ve got a girl
Now, i’ve got you

That little girl inside
Who wanted to hide
Herself far away
She can feel free
And finally see
What she wanted to be

And I tried
And I dreamed
And I cried
And I screamed

That’s enough for me.
Xaria Dec 2020
The Police you fear.
You’ve feared them since you were five,
Mother always telling you as such.
You’re not breaking the law at five, right?
If you did, then you’d totally deserve whatever they’d do to you.
After all, they only go after people who disobey the law!

The Police you have nightmares about. Frequently.
Do you speed in your dream? Seriously?
How is it that you commit crimes in your dream?
If you don’t want to be ‘bothered’ (or as some intellectuals put it, murdered or killed), maybe just follow the law??

The Police give you pause every time you see them while driving.
The Police cause your heart to pound, your fists to clench the wheel,
And you to immediately slow down to 10 mph below the speed limit.
Really?? C’mon, now you’re just being dramatic.
If you’re so freaked out by them, maybe not speed so much?
Unless…you’re hiding something in your car?
You’ve got brown skin; you act all afraid of the cops…
You probably have drugs on you. You seriously deserve to be searched.
Just kidding! Although, I’m sure some of the white people you tell this too might actually believe it.

The Police you fear at the airport, with their K9 dogs on leashes.
It does not help that your stupid acne medication smells like ****.
Or…Maybe you just have **** on you?
You know that the dumb dog probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
But hey, at least it doesn’t smell like rotten eggs!

The Police you have to create a lot of strategies around,
Like a football game,
But instead of winning,
The main goal is not to get beaten or shot to death!

The Police have harassed your dad a lot.
You’re always told how you’re a shade or two lighter than him.
But hey! At least you’re not darker!

The Police harass your dad at work and off work.
But if he didn’t want to stop, maybe not wear a LG uniform and drive in a LG truck!
No wonder why they stopped him and asked what he’s doing!
He’s so suspicious.

The School/University Police has never once made you feel safe.
You freeze up like a deer in headlights and force yourself to move.
You keep your head down, not maintain eye contact,
But maybe in order to make it really clear
You should wear a gigantic “I AM NOT SUSPICIOUS SIGN”.
Do they sell those on Amazon?

Maybe you can take a look online?
Maybe that’ll help your whole…’ooh I’m so scared of cops thing?’
Whatever you do, get some help.

— The End —