Take me to a library
Where I can read your eyes,
Where I can understand your thoughts,
Where I can scan all your words,
And decipher all your codes .

Take me to a garden
Where I can watch you grow,
Where I can sprinkle you with love,
Where i can fertilize you with appreciation,
And let the sun shine greatness in you.

Take me anywhere
As long as my hand are intertwined with yours.

Whenever I look into your deep brown eyes there would be this glint of familiarity that makes me feel at home.
I found comfort in your words and love in your actions, and I adored every single moment of it.
But the inside has never been shown, nor should it ever be brought out.
I can never tell you how I feel, and you can never know.
Because if you did, those eyes that always looked at me intently, those sweet words you say covered with honey, will all fade away.
Then the day came when you knew. I felt embarrassed, I wanted to run away, I was scared. Everything was crumbling down.
Then you smiled at me, you knew but you were still kind to me. And I was grateful for that.
But your eyes avoided mine, your word were short and precise, your actions were stiff, but you were still kind.
And I'm okay with that.
I'll be okay.
Then I heard you had someone you liked, I thought to myself I can never do that.
I can never make your heart beat for me, like it does for her. I can never make you smile so widely. I can never be anything special to you.
But it's okay because I know we weren't just meant to be and that there is someone out there looking at the same sky waiting for me.
Thank you because there did came a time when you were an inspiration but now you were just a part of my greatest imagination.

I found comfort in keeping every single hurt and joy and burden that i got used to it without even realizing how much scars I've made to myself, yet i blame others, telling people how they broke my heart or how they slashed me with their words. Until I understood that the  person who had hurt me the most was myself, i get to have the choices , i was the one who broke my heart, I put my own expectations to someone who should be happy with who they are, i got the choice to be hurt by their words, I chose to be molded by the rumors that i know isn't true. But I'll never know why day by day i hurt my self with standards that I should be upholding, comparing myself to someone I cannot be. Why can't I accept the fact that I am different , others can't be me and I can't  be them. Why must i always be self conscious and ostracized myself from people who are welcoming me with open arms, slapping myself with the truth seems to be not enough. I just constantly drift away with these thoughts hoping that may be one day I'll know why.

When I saw you reality struck me like thunder meets metal, what was i thinking!?
I knew this would happen
But I still took the risk

I looked directly into those eyes
Hoping that I could see a glint of hope
But all i saw was disgust

By then I knew
I should've just been a friend to you too.

It would really be nice if you could answer this question:

What's your definition of happiness?

I am not her, I am me
I am just someone who wants to be alone
but you constantly fill me up with task that you,
yes you were suppose to do.
I say "okay" even if it's not, i say "i'm fine" even though
I am not, for I don't want you to feel this burden,
this big heavy thing that i'm carrying on my back
I want you to feel a little less pressured,
for all I know you might be handling something
at that very moment. I hope you are doing well
that's what I want you to know. I'll be doing okay
as long as you do the same.
But i  cant take it anymore the thing in my back
it's heavy, it's pulling me down, it's torturing me.
I can't be that someone anymore, because in
the first place I was never that someone you expect me to be.