Upon a thought I ride,
my visions I do not hide.

I am what I am,
a brave poet and artist,
I survive this chaotic process.

My heart is pure
nothing can change
my naive mind.
I’v learned how to
except my unique
process and the
ignorance of the world
to my design.

To be autistic is like
being an alien in a
chaotic world of shady
trees we call humanity.

Most find it uncomfortable
to be around a truly honest
person like me.

I do not sugar coat
or fib, sarcasm is nothing
more than a beat around the bush.

I find it rude and disrespectful
for people to be dishonest
and dance underneath the bushes
as if you can hide from me.

My mind is very much aware
of the details in the envirernment
and the shady business you
display.

Most people wear a mask,
trying to cover up their
craft, but as for me I am
too busy being me I am
more interested in how
the bees buzz and hum,
I am always creating,
crafting ideas for you
to see.

I love you all so very much,
my heart is open to all
who wants to share the love.

To be an autistic
is like being the oddball
I am always a bit flat but
I bounce higher and I am
the best friend who listens
and shares comfortably.

If you are nice to me
I will be your best friend
forevere, for once I fall
in love I can’t change how
much I care.

I am what I am,
you get what you get,
no shady business do
I display. I am always
exposed free and uncaged,
I light fires in your mind
and I remind you have
your blessings.

I understand you are ignorant
like me but I am willing to
be straight forward I don’t
care what people think, for
I don’t know what you think.

Unless you explain to me
what your mingling upon,
I am ignorant to a default.

Some people call me special
I call it blah blah blah!
I never felt comfortable
with being called special,
for I think you are the special
ones, you are the ones who
have difficulty understanding
me. I’ve tried to submit to
your protocols sadly my
programming is more difficult
and complex.

Not even I can
rewire my mind.

Autism is not a disease nor
a handicap or illness,
its a different kind of brain
a motherboard of colorful designs
of beep boop mixtapes with poetic
lyrics waiting to be seen by
all of you who come to read my
tapestry of expression.

Its not the autistic person’s fault
you don’t understand our communications,
its your fault for not being mindful
of the autistic process and
our unique expressions.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

Ti’s a dream of mine,
to fly above the mountains and sea.

To be free from the cage
I was born in.

My autistic mind is that like
a tree, it grew into the plot
I’ve dug; my roots are deep and strong.

I have fought infections
and disease.

I have suffered on my hands
and knees.

I sacrificed myself for
illness and family.

What has autism done for me?

It taught me how to be smart.

How to communicate and collaborate.

It taught me the importance of community and guidance.

It taught me how to love
unconditionally, without
judgement, honestly and
openly.

I am a unicorn amounts horses and ponies.

My brain is textured and viscous, it pushes me to the edge of reality. Forces me to
face my fears.

Anxiety and depression are my roommates but never
do I invite them.

To be me, is like being Alice
peeking through the looking glass.

Come have tea with me.

I’m the best hostess because
I always over achieve.

Niceness is like the sweetest candy, I am such a sweet ****.

I’m honest to a default.

Autism and me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton

Innocence is lost when knowledge is found.

A child is always learning,
so does that make us children
even when we are 40?

At 40 my path has become weathered
but still I find pieces of myself I thought
were useless, yet the pieces helped define
who I am.

I never lost my innocence because
I am ignorant to the outside world,
I have tried to walk amongst the population,
it's scary confusing and shady.

People are selfish and too busy,
I'm always aware and never too busy
to see the bigger picture.

I watch people thumb around bumping
into each other but moving on like
nothing happened.

You zoom by in your fast cars and airplanes,
you are loud causing pollution and forced
shoving and attention.

I think most are not aware of their own
reality, some people move about as if they
are shadow Ninja's fighting an invisible war.

I'm like a fly on the wall, I watch but never talk.

Am I broken or is the world broken and
I am walking amongst the ruin's?

Autism separates us.

I don't know if I ever will
understand your need
for attention and pollution.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

The truth is easy to prove
for it’s right in front of you,
it doesn’t hide or keep secrets.

I am probably the most honest
person you will meet,
for I am an autistic person.
I will tell you as it is
no sweetness or sugar daddy
involved.

You want to know how
to be true? Learn how to
think like cats do. Don’t
worry about how others
feel, instead question
their motives but with
respect for their uniqueness
and views.

Don’t try to look through
someone else’s eyes without
asking them what they see
and then try to imagine what
it would be like.

You could also change
the way you view yourself,
stop seeing just yourself,
imagine what it would be like
to see like a blind mouse,
imagine the possibilities
are limitless, try to look
beyond the normal.

For normal is Technical:
(of a line, ray, or other linear
feature) intersecting a given
line or surface at right angles.

My autistic love is
normal for me. My love
is unconditional
because I love with
an autistic view,
you can trust I will
never lie to you.

We who have an autistic view
see life for what it is
and we will tell the truth
doesn’t matter if you wanted
it.

When I say I love you,
that’s the truth.

That’s autistic love
for you. We love like
cats do.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

Autumn kissed my soul
with her beautiful fall.

My imagination ate the star’s,
as the moon stole the sky.

With bountiful wonder leaping
from my eyes, I am left floating
through the oceans of my dreams.

Autumn wakes, with her brown,
red and orange gowns.

As autumn approaches with eyes
wide-open to greet the earth,
the leafs fell to her feet
as her breath froze the ground,
she woke to winter’s kiss.

As I rise with the tides
my mind begins to drift,
reality is calling, this
dream is ready to lift.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton

Tis 2:00am as fog rolled in,
the tree’s sighed and the soft
snow fell quitly outside.

The coffins bare,
the earth chilled and frozen;
this is where he lays,
deep in 9 feet of dirt felled air.

Soulless without a care,
a fool to bring suffering
to the poor humans,
who never noticed he was there.

A shadow of his former self,
he resembles nothing of himself.

Lurkering amongst the beastly
shadows, where monsters belong
to blood and bone,
the foolish break,
this fool follows his natural bent.

Intentions are of course seaking
his thirst, with an open mouth
full of gagged teeth.

He claws for insurance,
an immortals bank never drys,
forever is a long time.

So gather your affairs,
before the dawn bares witness
to your foolish pride.

The vampire is here,
come for a ride?
(it’s just you and I, I swear)
he smiles wide.

Merry Christmas my beastly friends.

**© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

The moon hangs low over my head,
reminds me of my ghost and before
I'm dead my ashes spread upon
my sleeping bed and I rose.

Eternity is a memory that
never forgets me, it breathes
and beats for me until I'm dead.

Such dread is in the light,
for the light devours night
and I am still dead.

The night also devours light,
brings back my dead soul.
As the sun slowly lay's it's
weary head peeking over the horizon.

Such dread is in the light
for only at night do I take flight.

Lay me down on a bed of bones
and allow the thorns to overgrow
and be my chamber of secrets and
here lies deep rooted memories
that never leave my head.

A vampires bed is bone white
and cold.

I am pounding on the post
yelling at my ghost, as I
lay deep under the earth.

Here I call home.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

From within the cold frozen earth
a monster stirs digging with its
finger nails it slowly rises from
the grave.

The stone is cracked and tilted
to the side, the ground is hard
and unkept.

Others are here too,
but died long ago.

This one is a vampire,
a old monster of folklore
and nightmares.

There’s no lingering breath,
no beating heart to remind us
of its life.

For a sinful fool they were in life,
a diseased greedy and
disrespectful soul never dies.

Cursed to suffer and crave
the blood of the living,
the vampire came to take
what they desire.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

I am like a candle blowing
in the wind, you can find
me seated at my window
illuminating the room.

Pen in one hand and a poem
in my mind, waiting to
be freed from the
neurons holding it in.

Fueled by a Gothic view
and a vision of dark blue,
green, and gray skies above
me with streams of sunshine peaking through the clouds.

Memories abound
as I write my poetic story.

A passion fueled by
laced moments of lost
childhood and forgotten hearts
I collected in my broken jar’s.

My tragic life became
a burning blaze line after line
it burns across the page,
forever engraved.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

Upon a dream you bloomed,
you rose within my half
opened eyes, like a lingering
tear you fell from the sky.

You became a moonflower,
you blossomed within my
waking hour, no longer
a whisper, sweet and tender,
your love was always there.

Upon my waking dream
your kisses blew me away,
like a storm waiting for me
to step out into its flurry,
your love was always there.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

Upon my fleeting words
I reveal my roads.

Step by step, word by word,
line by line, a poet travels
the world.

We breathe poetry,
we eat it too.

Until our clouds are full of stars
ready to rain upon the earth
poetic storms.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

No one said it was easy,
no one said is was going
to be okay.

Perfection was never promised,
happiness was never given,
they are works in progress.

I am like the leafs
I land wherever I please.

I change with the seasons,
hot, cold, wet, and dry
I adapt as the cycle wraps
itself around my little finger.

This life we live
such consequences we sew,
we still try even after the
needle broke.

No one said life was going to go
your way, no one said this is
the only path, because
it’s a work in progress.
We already know that.

It’s a work in progress but I
want to fly someday.

Do you think I will learn
how to grow wings one day?

I hope to learn how to fly someday,
I won’t have to wait for
happiness nor a rainy day for
I will be able to fly to where
it falls. I will be free.

© 2018 By Amanda Shelton

Chains rattle and bang,
dragging across my brain.

The doors creak, scratches across
the floor.

Emptiness is vast, a void creepy
and sad.

Ghosts linger here, memories of
lives passed.

They breathe decay, rust and rot.

A plume of smoke from a flame
smothered by time.

I am rooted in your deceit,
a rose with thorns.

I dream of being me, while my dreams
dream of being unique.

It is a dream within a dream,
do we ever truly wake?

A thought passes like a breath gasps
for a moment in time.

A passing phrase on a poetic gaze,
upon a heavenly sky the stars
shine and we fly.

My poetic mind opens wide,
behind my sleeping eyes lies
a feasting idea that eats prose
and verses.

Baking plots and cooking possibilities,
within my mind’s oven. I serve you my
poetic design.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I might suffer
but I sure know how to fight.

I can up hold my own,
like a squirrel holds
onto their acorns,
I hold onto my life.

I don’t care to argue,
but I will put up a fight,
standing tall
for I am a mighty force
to be reckoned with.

Like lightning,
I know where to strike
I leave my mark,
I make my stand.

I am a beacon in the night,
you may use me but with
caution and care,
I then will burn brightly
for year’s to come.

I am embers burning through
the coldest winters,
my heat radian through the
night air,
giving you a 180° view.

**© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

Upon the whispering wind
my love travels far to settle
beside you wherever you are.

Our times together are
more than a memory,
it's a passionate kiss on a postcard,
it's a perfume that lingers for awhile,
it's a commercial of my favorite treats,
it's a tingle sensation rolling down to my feet.

Aw, love it's the strongest thing there is,
it can build nations,
it can bring floods of population,
it can cause war,
it can bring food to the poor.

If used properly love can be
beautiful and amazing.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

Stand proud!

Be you,
be true to yourself
for you are the only one
who has to live with yourself.

Be brave,
live bold and strong.

We all fall down
but not everyone is
bold enough to wipe themselves
off and keep going until
they achieve their goals.

Forgive yourself
so you can forgive
someone else.

Fight for your rights,
use your powers of knowledge
and be kind to one another.

Empty your heart to allow
love to fell the empty spaces
you’ve created.

Don’t be ashamed of yourself
for being human, instead
use your experiences to
build a stronger foundation.

Remember you are not alone,
there are billions of people
in this world who are living
too.

Open your mind to possibilities
and you will find purpose
and meaning.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

Be bold & brave, for life is too short to be afraid. © 2018 By Amanda Shelton

Be brave, for life is too short to always be afraid.

© 2018 By Amanda D Shelton

I do not forget,
I forgive.

I use to seek my own space,
I didn’t feel comfortable
sharing my privacy,
but I grew up,
I grew out of my old jeans,
I leaned how others think,
I always am thinking
I am always pondering
deeply but try not to over think things.

I have learned how to love myself,
I can’t help someone else if
I don’t help myself first.
That was the hardest thing
for me to expect because
I am a nice person and I felt
obligated.

Higher intelligence doesn’t mean happier,
or I have more opportunities,
sometimes it can be depressing
boring and confusing, I find it
hard to relate to others because
it’s rare to have a higher IQ.
I just use my manners.

Ignorance is bliss, yes it is.
I grew up in fear of life
slowly dying because I knew
it was.

I am not ashamed to say
my intelligence is higher than
average but I will not boast
about it, there is nothing special
about understanding how the world
turns it can invoke
fear, anxiety, and pain.

I understand that
I make mistakes
that I am a fool and
I can do better
if I work for it.

I am prone to stay up late
thinking about everything
I want to finish. That’s why
I don’t like to leave my
projects unfinished.

I am intelligent enough to know
I am a fool living in
a fools society.

© 2018 By Amanda Shelton

I am a whisper in the wind,
Gods mighty voice rose us
up out of the dirt commanding
life to breathe.

I am a work in progress,
a broken piece of life
that's eager to live.

My breath and mind
are important for life
to progress and develop
I have helped God to
design a beautiful life.

I might be a tiny speck in time
but my existence is like a powerful force, for the changes I've caused helped lives to progress and heal.

I've become an important piece
of history, I made my mark upon
this life I've been given.

My pieces are widely spread
for I've been sharing myself
on the world wide web since
I was seventeen.

Between the teeth of angles
I am alive grinding at the stone.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

While musing over the past
I feel lost in the fragments
of the memories of you.

You stole my dreams
with your lies that you
love me.

I regret nothing but
holding on longer than
I should have.

Our love is a shadow
a memorial of past pain
and struggle.

I have learned how to
stand stronger, how to
love myself and let go
of expectations of
unforgivable love.

In the end I am no longer
held back by your shadow,
I am stepping out into
the light so I can ones
again shine.

You should be ashamed
of yourself for dimming
the lights so you can
steal the spotlight,
because we were meant
to be a duo sharing
the light.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

Agile and sleek,
lurking in the deep.

Eyes of rarest gem's
shine in the dark of night.

Black and slim
scratch and sniff,
bathing in the sunbeams
of mornings wake.

Black lady undercover,
luxurious coat like
black velvet and the
softest fur.

Living in the window
seeking comfort with
glaring beauty, and green
eyes like emeralds shine.

My neighbors black cat
she's a beauty and a luxurious
display of expansive coat's
and gem's greener than the
oceans edge.

Watch her winding, watch her sew, watch her binding like a pro.

Black widow, sleek and true,
not so shyly she’s calling
you.

Sewing through out the night,
vibrating silk strings,
winding her threads slowly.

She says, “Come hither my
friend,” as she pulls out
her threads.

Careful now, she’s no friend.

She’ll trap you in her
spiders web.

© 2020 By Amanda Shelton

No color,
no warmth from the cold weather,
no charisma,
no freshness,
no love just loneliness,
no cover from the rain,
no drain for the tub,
no food in the cupboards,
no water to drink,
no end to the war,
no cooler for the heat,
no ice to make water colder,
no rivers flowing,
no flowers growing.

All is bleak,
all is dark and crawling.

Bleak that's all.

**© By Amanda D Shelton

My Gothic heart bleeds for you,
it bleeds poetry.

It's pooling on this digital platform,
at its base I lay.

Thorne's in cage my heart
with roots growing from its
depths my rose wilted
awhile ago.

My ghost remains.

A perfume of poetic expressions,
disaster's and clashers in my life.

I suffer and I rise,
I fall and I crawl,
I am bruised but not beaten.

My Gothic heart bleeds for you,
it bleeds poetry.

The darkening came it tried to claim
my worth with its claws of shame,
it left me with open wounds and
anxiety.

I kept crawling through the dark,
until I can see a bit of light.

It is blurry and not so bright,
it seems the dark stretches far
beyond the horizon with streams
of light shining through.

My Gothic heart bleeds for you,
it bleeds poetry.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

I once was boarded up
inside my mind,
played with shadows
I thought were mine.

I felt so small
because I knew how large
life was compared to me.

I never saw the star
I was meant to be.

Until one bleak cloudy day,
I put my shadows away.

I looked up to find my way,
I saw the sky and I noticed the
stars.

I thought I want to be like those
burning lights above your head
burning brightly for all to see.

So I started blogging my poetry.

**© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

You are supposed to help me live longer, but sadly you cause
more pain and for me to suffer.

Starts with a pill,
ends with higher level of
pain and no time to ****.

What's the point if you don't help my pain?
I guess the doctor thinks
it's better to live longer
then comfortable.

I am lucky I am strong,
for I would have thrown you away
the first time you caused me more pain.

I suffer from high blood pressure,
I also suffer from chronic life.
Same as you my friend.

**© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

Upon my waking hours,
I become a wildflower.

Slowly as my eyes open,
the mist clears, the fog
roll’s me over the hills
in my mind.

As the sun reveals her
glowing smile, dreams
fade into the darkness
as reality lights the world
bringing life to the shadows.

I am slowly aware of my freedom,
it’s like an itch burning to be
itched.

I am fully bloomed.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton

This is one of my blooming
thoughts from creativity
I have been cultivating
for some time.

It’s become rooted in
ideas and technology.

Yeah, I have a story to tell,
a word painting dripping with
blood and tears I’ve collected
over the years.

Suffering hydrates my poetic garden, of blue wildflowers and yellow oceans of daisies; they lay deep in the plots of my mind.

The roots try to sacrifice
for pain, suffocating my
creativity but it explodes
into blossoming lines of
expression everytime.

Without poetry I would have
exploded with emotional stress, and silence would have
killed my ideas.

This post would be empty and
nothing, without my blossoming expression’s.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton

At the window I stand looking out
upon the morning light, no breath
does my memory hold but poetry
flow's like a strong gasp of air.

It has been building pressure,
from deep within my mind it
grew that like a rose it's
petals gentle and soft with
it's thorny body armored and
ready.

Poetry flow's blossoming
from a seed, a hydrated thought
rooted deep within me.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

Blunders we humans are,
causing pollution and not caring
about the murderous smog
we produce because our leaders
lie and scam us into thinking
it's not happening at all.

If you are smart you will
see the truth, if you can cause
a ripple in water,
what makes you think
you can't cause the earth
to quicken and quake?

We dig deeper and deeper
into the earth, stealing her life
and resources, too quickly
for regrowth, we also minipulate
DNA trying to make longer
lasting food's.

Over time we caused cancer
and allergies to consume us,
like a shadow it blocks
the light that burns brightly
inside of us all.

Someday we will have to adapt
to the changes we've produce
or go extinct.

© 2019 By Amanda Shelton

I was born a poet,
with a pen in one hand
ideas in the other.

I am also, an artist,
with paint running through
my veins, and a bigger
picture mapped out in
my brain.

Its a big responsibly,
my birthright is to
be a philosopher.

I love learning and sharing
the knowledge.

Philosophy is simple, but the
concept is complex and diverse.

It can be a river of flooded
concepts, rooted in historic
preservation of ideas.

Philosophers like myself
preserve the ideas of its
concept’s and diversity.

Faith keeps my interest free
and unchained by societies
views of how life should be.

I knew early on in my life,
I am the master of my own destany.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton

I sacrificed my life
for peace and stable mind.

I kneel every night,
bow my head and take
my plight placing it
before the Lord’s feet.

It’s no longer mine,
I lift myself up to
the Lord’s divine plan;
I promised him I will
follow the roads he
built for me.

I’ve met my shadow
many times, within
my meditation we take
flight.

A quiet place to reflect,
a mountain of possibilities
I climb and move by building
a strong foundation.

I am a tool, an influence
upon the environment.

I discovered myself years ago,
I once was lost; chained by
illness and grief, but faith
broke the chains and released
my soul.

I no longer grieve
I accept my condition,
by doing so I have already
won the fight.

I use to argue with myself,
I fought self-esteem,
I hated my differences
and being unique.

I had to face my shadow
before the walk, for the
deeper parts of who I am
was lost.

Depression and anxiety
ruled my life, until
I took control
I became its friend.

I am my own advocate,
for I am a unique soul,
one in five million I
stand tall.

Be proud to be you,
we all are beautiful
and rare.

I am a unicorn, autistic
and fair.

I love you and
everyone too.

I understand without you
I wouldn’t be here.

Life is never about me,
its about everything else
around me.

We are the designers of
life, we move mountains
and oceans.

We are the title waves
upon the great tragity
of life.

Live well, be bold
and brave, for life
is too short to always
be afraid.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton

Fear can make you stronger
or weaker it's up to you.

I learned, it's okay to not always
be okay.

To get through you have to deal
with it.

Claim those mountains,
swim the oceans,
learn to fly when you fall
don't stay on your knees.

Fear itself is what holds us back.

The fear of pain rejection as well
as the unknown.

It can be a good thing though.

Fear can teach us how to
make better decisions.

It's facing fear that builds
character.

You are not a failure if you
live fearfully, you are brave
for facing it.

A survivor faces fear to build
bridges to safety, bravery is
on the other side.

©️ 2022 By Amanda Shelton

The sun is rising and my mind is hiding, bring the cold inside and calm the flames before they consume me.

Blistered skin, swollen rashes,
sunburn stings like a thousand lashes.

The possibilities of me turning into ashes, is upon the breath of morning.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

My tear’s burn and sting,
raining down my checks.

Pain stains my skin with
scars of suffering.

I was given broken strings
and weak foundations, I have
built a stronger plot firmly
securing my roots and strengthening
my foundations.

Working with what I’ve got.
It’s easier working with
shorter threads and soft
dirt. My seeds are free
to grow as they please.

I have crawled myself out
of the hole, I have a chair
waiting for me.
It’s important
to have a safe spot.

I don’t love my things,
relationships are more
important than greed.

I’ve got many struggles
but many strengths to
hold me up and keep me
clean after I fall.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton