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you
       unloved me
so quickly
     i cant help
       but to wonder
  if i was ever
    real
       or if you just
im sitting here
      daydreaming about

               you

                            your hands

your lips

                     your body

feeling them
       (you)
     all over me

now

    all the time


because i remain yours
      but youre no longer
Monsters dream
that unicorns get together with vampires,
while they dance and drink
under the moonlight.
.
The Gods see them and envy them
The Undergods see them and they laugh.
.
While they dance and drink
they die
under the moonlight, during the night,
they have fun at the speed of light.
.
Once they start
they don't stop.
Once they get tired
they drink blood.
.
Angels dream
that Heaven and Earth are one,
united under one flag.
They dream dreams,
they dream peace.
.
God hears them and hopes
The Devil hears them and he laughs
his *** off.
.
A father dreams as he works,
he dreams of better days.
.
A mother dreams as she cooks,
she dreams of silent nights.
.
A grandfather dreams as he smokes,
he dreams of a peaceful life.
.
A child dreams as he sleeps,
he's filled with hope as he plays.
.
A child's laughter is a dream,
a child sleeping is like peace.
.
A child's kiss is all that we need
to believe that those monsters
that dream of unicorns and vampires
are real.
We are not body,
We are not mind
Nor heart.
.
We are thoughts,
We are feelings
And ideas.
.
We laugh and cry,
We love....
And we hate.
.
We are our souls,
Its whims
We must follow.
.
This is my soul,
It's wishes
And I obey.
So, after a mild break down I am back, reuploading and writing again. As my soul has always wanted to.
I remember those final moments
as I watched her pack her bags,
emptying drawers and closets
whispering through the halls
her words lost in the corners.
.
And I walked up to her, slowly,
as one would approach a ghost.
But she moved away from my hand
and tears were in her eyes. I stood,
like a statue, blank, unmoving.
.
She asked me the point of dating a poet,
if poems about her never were made.
Words failed me then, standing at the door,
words more beautiful than her weren't real,
and neither was I a poet nor a lover by myself.
.
Oh, the irony! Even with her crying eyes,
in her goodbye, so much poetry was told!
I wanted to tell her the magic in her being,
and how I longed for her happiness.
.
I thought about telling her, that next to her
moon, stars and sun were just street lamps
That in her sadness lived contradiction
and that the tears made her eyes shine,
and my fingertips desperately yearned her.
.
I understand now, that she never saw
how I formed constellations with her kiss
and within her breath was my existence,
that with her, my soul grew wise and old.
.
I guess there were never stars in her eyes,
or melodies in her laughter that she recognized.
She never noticed me looking at her from afar
or when, without me talking, she heard me.
Maybe she never loved me in my anger.
.
But seeing her there, so ready to leave,
my universe compressed and expanded,
and with a kiss I wrote the poetry she wanted
and to her lips, as a goodbye, I whispered:
.
*Never say I didn't write you anything
Sometimes, the noise in my head
                                    is so LOUD
that it feels the only way to
                                    shut it OFF
is with the sound of a gunshot.
I want everyone to know.
I want everyone to miss you
Like I do
...
            Only not quite
I am very curious about what is love
And life, I say
For I have seen such things and
Such eyes
That show nothing of them.
.
I am intrigued of what the meaning is
Of happy
For I have lived such lives but only
In quantity
And I have no recollection of it.
.
I often wonder about eternity, infinity,
About forever
For I have been threatened with them
From everywhere
And I have come to fear them the most.
What's so wrong
     about needing a little
            pain
      to exist?
What's more tragically beautiful?
Falling in love,
                  or
         Falling out of it?
What is the
             appeal
                     of a
                         foverever
                            ­     drowning
                                             in silence?
Oh!
     Sadness,


How I yearn
                         for
                               thee.
I need someone who loves me tenderly
Someone whose kisses are kind.
.
Maybe someone who listens carefully
To everything that can't be spoken.
.
Someone who realizes I break easily
And lets me know that it is fine.
.
Someone who loves my weakness
And talks me through the night.
.
Someone to unravel or disappear with
And to forget all about time.
.
I need someone to catch me when I fall
And knows to wait for me to get up.
.
Someone who will make feel strong
When I can barely manage to stand up.
.
But what I need the most is someone
Who does it all without me knowing it.
.
     So I can feel I am the one they are
           Able to rely on any time.
we're all made of stardust
thinking back to a time
we were shining bright

wishing it back
waiting till someone sees us
without realizing

we
are
still
stars

we're all made of stardust
with some melancholy
completed with nostalgia

but we still shine so bright
The Earth is filled with fantastic secrets
        just waiting to be unveiled
Filled with places to see and to live
        filled with hidden magic
just waiting until it is discovered
        and here I am wasting it
throwing life away in a grey cubicle
         missing out on tastes
never being able to see the colours.
.
So when I die, please, when you bury me
            bury me all in white
and set my ashes free, somewhere far
            in the middle of the night
So I will  be reborn within their flight.
its sad
       when
             love
                    dies

on the other hand,


something
that
never
existed
cant
die
It is always there
           I can feel it all the time
              Like a permanent aftertaste
               Lying there in my taste buds
            A pinch of something like salt
         Adding flavour to all my reds
      Like a breath of ice cold air
The hardest part isn’t waking up
The hardest part is getting up
When you barely slept at all and your mind races
.
The difficult part is opening your eyes
When there are demons eating away your mind
When your heart is racing and your hands are shaking
.
The painful part is when the ache is too real
When its not just your mind shattering,
But your body breaking too
.
When you wheeze for air and clutch at your chest
When your hands are shaking and there’s not enough air
When the nightmares close up around you
.
But the most tiring part, the most exhausting part
Is trying to hide it all cause you’re supposed to be happy
Cause you’re not supposed to fall.
Peace and dirt,
break that fight,
get together out in the wild.
.
Have a drink, get up and dance,
laugh together while you can.
.
Love with all your heart.
.
Watch your friends,
enjoy life.
.
Sing a song,
play guitar,
join in the game of Life.
.
Be aware of your smiles.
.
Take a chance.
.
Scream your lungs out.
.
Use the things around you,
take your time,
but make it last.
.
Keep these memories all your life.
.
Cook something,
eat it all,
enjoy the taste while you're still here.
.
Star a fire on the beach,
go camping out in the cold breeze,
enjoy the summer all your life.
.
Sing songs,
play games,
laugh with all your friends.
.
Take love,
but give love as well.
.
Enjoy it,
it is the moment,
the moment of your lives.
There are some things that are not meant to be seen
Some things that were made to remain hidden
To remain in the darkness, covered, unsaid
Some things that I keep hidden even from myself
Things that, were they to appear,
Could break me
.
There are good times, when I forget
Times when I convince myself those things are not there
That I read them in a poem, or a book, or a song
Good times when all of that seems foreign and distant
Those are the days I have the strength to breathe, to laugh,
To live.
.
But there are days when those are the only things I see
The only things I hear, the only things that reign in me
Those are the days when I forget  how light looks like
When I forget what the beating of my heart sounds like
And all I hear are the voices inside me,
And I silently scream.
.
And there are days when there’s a strange peace
An odd balance, a numbness, a greyness spreading inside me
Days when everything is muffled and blurry and barely there
Those are my favourite days, the days when I’m barely there
The days when I don’t need to remember to breathe,
To not die.
The reason for which I could
never write a book
is that I've read so much
I can't tell if my thoughts
are something I read
or something I wrote.
And their voices rose in unison,
the same tempo, the same rhythm,
their hearts beating as one.
.
And their songs resounded
in every corner of every street
and the sound could break walls.
.
And their footsteps echoed
and they had the earth quaking
at their mercy under their feet.
.
And they made us all believe,
and we sung all their songs
and our hearts became in synch.
.
And for a moment all was well,
and victory was floating in the air,
and they held their hands over their heads.
.
It was when the wind changed
and the sun turned to blood red
and joy turned into panic and fear.
.
And they ran and fought and charged,
and their songs turned to screams
and their footsteps to falling bodies.
.
And we all watched it from a distance
with closed blinds and windows shut,
without turning to assist them at all.
.
And silence fell, and it was deafening,
there was no sound, no air, no life
and they were all sinking to the ground.
.
And the rest of us would later say
nothing can be done to make a change
and we would all turn our eyes away.
.
And the elder will proclaim again
that Revolutions are all made from air
and return to their card games.
.
And the thing we never understood
is that it shouldn't have been theirs
but it should have been ours.
.
For the world is our own, all of us,
and it should be our voices in unison
and our hearts together as one.
.
And the Spirit of the Revolution would live
if we could all, together, just stand still
and reach out to our brothers and sisters.
.
And make a change without death,
and paint the world different than red
and build a future as one, side by side.
.
But we sit still, raging at the T.V.
cursing at every injustice that we see
hoping the next generation will get to live.
.
i love
    you

        and thats the reason
  
   i
      cant
          listen to any of my
            favorite songs anymore
Someone take my mind away from me,

                                    its driving me INSANE.
whatever you do
for yourself
shouldn't disappoint others

if it does
then
they weren't meant for you

you deserve someone
who'll be there with you
while you aim for the stars

even if they like
to keep their own feet
on the ground
The ocean is calling,
calling for me,
he wants me to
get lost in him.
To join the white foam,
to go and say hello.
.
Nothing's here to stop me,
only the cold dry wind
of some cold and silent place
that lures me into the dark,
to some colourless scene,
to some lifeless landscape.
.
I try to run, to call out,
"I'm coming! Wait!"
But all I see is them leaving,
without me, leaving me here
on a wasted island,
by myself.
.
So I stay here,
without anyone,
waiting in the nothingness,
waiting nothing,
only the silence interrupts
all these thoughts in my mind.
.
These void and empty thoughts,
rough, cold and dry,
as the day on this island,
dark, wet and cold,
like all the nights here,
enlightened only by a dim hope.
.
That someday, someone
will come along
to take me back to the world
and end this loneliness,
erasing the memory of my time
alone here on the island of my mind.
This one has an accompanying drawing... its not too good though
I had a dream once,
   I dreamt we’d grow old together
      I woke up young and alone.
I am
.
I am
the product of my surroundings
.
I am
the result of my parents
.
The influence of my friends,
I am
.
All that, is what I am
What formed me
What brought me here
.
Their mistakes run in
my veins
.
Yet, I refuse
to be defined by them
.
All of that
I am
.
But I will
define myself
.
What is Love if not the
agonizing hallucination
of helpless fools who
don't even know they're
      dying?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not the
sweet denial that your
heart is being ripped out
from your body in a way
you don't even feel the
         pain?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not fire heated
swords slowly going inside
burning you up as they cut
through your flesh and bones
          deliciously?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not well hidden
pain coated with flowers that
distracts the mind from the
insanity of what's become of the
            heart?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not delicious,
beautifully well camouflaged
death hiding behind a perfect
smile and sweet words for deaf
              ears?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not astounding,
hypnotizing,  breathtaking and
perfect misleading beauty that
is everything that helped build
               you.
Your head resting on my shoulder
.
Your nails digging into my skin
.
Your heart beating with mine
.
Us forever becoming one
We deserve the world we live in.
.
We've worked too hard to destroy it
To stop now.
.
.
We deserve the wars being fought.
.
We've built too high our borders
To tear them down now.
.
.
We deserve injustice and discrimination.
.
We've made too much an effort to build social barriers
To get rid of them now.
.
.
We deserve bad governments.
.
We've enabled them too much and given them too much freedom
To start complaining now.
.
.
We deserve all types of pollution.
.
We've taken nature for granted for too long
To take care of her now.
.
.
We deserve illnesses.
.
We've lived on excess for too long
To start worrying now.
.
.
We deserve the reality we live in.
.
We've been moulding it for generations
To break free from it now.
.
.
We deserve what we have.
.
We've put all our energy on it.
.
.
But who's to say we don't deserve
.
The chance to change as well
.
The opportunity to wake up
.
The drive to find unity
.
The knowledge to see the errors in our ways
.
.
Who's to say we don't deserve.
.
The chance to live.
.
.
I miss you
but I’ll never tell
not because of them,
because of you
because I don’t want
You
to know
‘cause even though
it was unfair
it was still your fault
because you
shoulda known
shoulda done better
shoulda hang on.

I miss you
but you’ll never know
‘cause I’ll only say it
this one time
and
never again.

Because you shoulda
been here
even if you were far
you shoulda stayed
and faced the tides.

— The End —