I called you candor cause that's all I know
A no-good cheap thought mixed up and off the tongue
Do you like the way my hands slip and slide
Jammed covered and gnatty
When my legs are ****** and my stomach is bumpy
My heart is damp with grief
When I grab you
You're perfect
Two large chunks of flesh placed upon a spring
"I want to eat you"
Use my claws and slice you
That's all they say about you
You're him
The boy that makes girls go crazy
Tear you up
Into whatever you're made of
Leather and tobacco or something dark and hot

Thank you for inviting me into your home
I really enjoyed the stay
I didn’t mean any harm
But the itch was just
Unbearable on my skin
My hand was up
And down again
Before I could even
Think
That my hostess would be dead
On my hand
And thigh
A black smear

And then you take a second to stop and look around at all the people

Laughing chatting chewing

She’s leaning across the table
into him
dipping her hair into her dish

He’s snatched the check
and patting
all a thousand of his pockets

Their lives are so different than mine

And then you think about the cards you were dealt

Well my parents are still together and my best friend is dead

And when I drink my coffee too late I can’t sleep
cause my blankets
feel like hands
choking me

Some mornings I wake up hours past noon and wish I was still asleep

But we are both here now
Laugh chatting chewing
Breathing blinking living

So how different are the cards really?

Forgive me for all the times I was too stubborn to say
"I want this" and "I want you" and "I'm really just afraid"
I wish you'd dissect my words the way you'd dissect a poem
Cause I miss you and I think it's about time you come home
So let's forget my nervous laughs and flimsy little shrugs
Come over here, quickly, for our love is far from done

It wasn't the first time I brought someone to that spot
And it certainly wasn't the last

But we were both one sip deep
And the frost was eating at your nape

So you stole my hands from my lap
Cause they just looked cold

And that was good, it was good like that
Your hands suffocating mine, our bones about to break

Your eyes peering down at mine
Then up and down and up again

You were so alive then
Like the lively sun on that unfriendly winter night

It wasn't the first time I brought someone to that spot
And it certainly wasn't the last, for me.

For only so long can you be the girl
Empty-eyed and cold
Because they will grow sick of your behavior
Jealous of the blank stare you’ve become
The shell you’ve polished so well
And that’s funny to me
Because to them
Sunsets are still just sunsets
And to you
Every ray of warmth
Is just another joy
His skin will never feel
He will never again squint in the sunlight
He will never again feel the beads of sweat dripping from his brow
But to them the heats a nuisance
Another reason to hate life
Another reason to hate the living

Under the same streetlight where I used to know
You stand hands in pocket, hips pointed out
You know, that's the same way my lover used to stand
A little careless, a little confident
Like you aren't sure if you'll fall but
Either way, it doesn't scare you
Even when your hands are bound
Between the two pieces of fabric
A gum wrapper, some coins
You know my dad said he'd shoot my girl just for standing like that?
You shoot a sly smile and melt into the night
As I melt into the satin and give God a kiss goodnight