Alan S Bailey

Alan S Bailey 5h

I may be onto something new,
I put it all into everything I'm told (I'd) do,
But always in the end you stand there
Telling me where I have been, where
I intend to be, and then that I will never be
Free. Should have been careful from the start,
Though in life we are all walking in the dark,
You had to put up with my bitter judgement,
While I had to give you my second
-Yet very last red cent.

And still you say I complain to much,
Give me a pail I will fill it with water
But bringing it back you would never trust,
It's a lot of work but in the end,
I know you'd still secretly take a drink, my "friend!"

I told you everything I know,
Yet safely-at arms length-your gifts bestow,
I guess in the end it's no surprise
It was me who was telling all of your
Modern lies.

In the end when I'm done writing my life's poem I guess I've always gotta go, so there's no point to even taking what I earned for myself, now is there?

It's always too late from the start, isn't it?

#modern #lies #truth #judgement #enslaved

Alan S Bailey 5h

Work in progress

Verse 1
Hello toilet, my old friend
I've got to go now once again
I've been waiting for a great while
This time I'm going the ex-tra mile
With a force that few have ever known,
Sheer will alone,
I'm taking...the ****...enormous

Verse 2
In truth it feels more than I can take
I could pass out-and yes there's no mistake
That this straining-it is as such
Upon a mountain where lightning struck
Where I felt the challenge
May be well beyond my strength
What it might take
Attempting...the ****...enormous

Verse 3
And in the end I can now feel
This force of nature makes me reel
Pushing a boulder of such great size
Pushing a stone so big-one can't deny
Making a log-giving it your all-one may survive
Yes-in all my life
As this was...the ****...enormous

Verse 4
By my word-I feel-that this is it
Upon this toilet throne I sit
An overwhelming explosion from inside
With no place in my mind left to hide
As this was-unreal-yes, you can take my word,
The gigantic...****...enormous

Verse 5
And my goal it now seems in sight
I give it all with all my might
In a strange vision this very moment
As this an unreal bowel movement
And soon I feel:
Like the clear shaking in the earth
That as making n' breaking waves
I'm stunned and dazed
From taking...the ****...enormous

(Sang to the tune of "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel)
I own nothing. Enjoy!
...well, nothing accept the world 'size of **** taken' record.

#funny #goal #work #progress #unreal #joke #humor #waves

Alan S Bailey 6d

**** Like That

~**** SOUND~

The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I don't believe it-it's got my face turning a pale greenish-hue!
You know I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

Verse 1
I think that the earth is shaking-I swear someone moves the breeze,
An' detonated a whole whopping ton of "Gaseous-TNT",
That **** was like a ghost in Ghost Busters,
It sneak up on you and you freakin' smell the
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I turn around and think
What is this some kind of bad **** could seem,
Who ate that whole hot dog with sharp mustard?
And then cut the cheese?
And do not think that this is the first time I or my friend here
"Duffy" made the birds "rush from the smell" to the trees!
For I, Triumph, am on a mission to escape this **** smell
In such a hurry-heading for the hills
-ABOUT TO PASS OUT........

The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I seek that face mask-like this is a smell emergency
Buddy, You know I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
Don't no one order the garlic liver with fried onion steak!
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

Verse 2
The other day I was in gas station, some guy was getting gas
Had gotten "Carsick" and blamed me! But I knew the truth it was the car next to me,
I am not lying it came wafting through the breeze and it goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
I said, "MAN do I look like the "Houdini of farts?"
With fumes from some unknown specter of flatulence? When clearly,
It was you? What you think I should do? Don't look at me!
Make it so that everyone up in this gas station knows it wasn't me?
But you know the truth there is a doughnut I buy one for you please
Don't get so angry I didn't mean any harm, no need for one to yell,
You know you can't light a lighter or smoke? It's a law everyone knows
When there is so much gas you might just
**** (Phew-can't no one light a ****...!)

Chorus
The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
Don't ya know that beans are a magical fruit?
I've never smelled a BIFF like that,
In the end we all can't escape the
noxious fumes of the
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

On airplane flight I was minding my own business
When some dude let an "aero-**** fly" a guy looked
At me and said:
"Hey, what you think that this is, did superman
Himself let a PHLPH
As his cape lifted up from a gassy (?)
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
"You think that Triumph the puppet dog not super enough?
I think you are like kryptonite to me! You saying I had some
Thing humble apology I had to say? Don't you know there is no room to breath?
I clearly know better I see the sign when you need to pull out a bag
Because you airsick there are multiple usages, and you can use it
Like I have repeatedly to breath from a **** smell I didn't make!
I am just a puppet, not a ****-tion teller...!

Chorus
The way it's smelling, I can't believe it-I've never smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...
From the rear end, this isn't a whoopee cushion ****-
Can't pretend
That I've ever smelled a
**** LIKE THAT
It's oh so gassy, such a **** sound that goes
**** FA-FAR-FAR-****...

MAN!
It's got a life all it's own!

#smelly #funny #**** #humor #eminem #new #rendition

Alan S Bailey Mar 29

Society-The "Winning Side"

So you want to lead me, "us all," to the "truth,"
That there is no excuse and that every day
We need instantaneous "failure proof,"
But I know what you are, you can't hide.
You've taken so many to an early
Retirement already with your "sane" logic.
Please give me a moment so I can find out
What it's like to be on the
"Winning side,"
While I sit here, head reeling,
Strangers passing around at every turn on
This city street, completely and entirely aware
About it all and don't want to let you just
Simply pass for normal. It's like this feet that you must commit
To, I'm a victim of your shameless charade,
Lucky me, I am the bad one who has to get out of the car.
That every thing I have ever accomplished means
Absolutely nothing
-NO MATTER WHAT-
Simply because it isn't
Popular...

#winning #side #truth #reality #reeling #failure #different #sane #logic #popular

Alan S Bailey Aug 2022

Katy Perry Remix-Trump (Flag of Doom)

Verse 1:
When Trump got in the white house-he was just a town mouse-promised a devotion to
Help people out, then why the people have'to start protests on and on.
Trumpy got an angry plan to fulfill-the thing to do-with all the hater walls to build-no matter what "I'm not listening to you..."

Chorus A:
But in another life, you and I would hate, ruin it for the immigrants-send all of em' away,
In another life, we'd take over the world, rule it with an iron fist our flag of doom unfurled,
Flag of doom unfurled...

Chorus B: But in another life, you and I would hate, hell with all the peoples dreams-be us against the gays.
In another life, we'd take over the world, rule it with an iron fist our flag of doom unfurled,
Flag of doom unfurled...

Verse 2:
A group of people who feared sometimes Trump might lose, couldn't put the Trust in voters right to choose, if anything should happen poor Trump'will be singin' the blues. (boohoo)
Then the demonstraters started cursing his ways, Trumpy was trying to educate-that anyway
For "so-called safety" had to keep certain travelers away.

Verse 3:
So Trumpy noticed some football stars-at the national anthem-didn't have hand on their heart, and he said "these guys have got to go...(WOAH)
Then later when that didn't work out, Trump decided to make a statement-without a doubt,
It's fine what they think (a players devotion wouldn't be part of the show...)

Bridge:
Trumpy didn't fix the economy-NO
Trumpy wouldn't free us from strict conformity-NO
Trumpy can't get away with anything-NO
But then I PAY THE PRICE...

Frump got his political **** kicked by this song alone!

Sang to the tune of:
A remake of Katy Perry's "In Another Life (The one that got away)"
Enjoy

#politics #funny #truth #history #remix #frump #reality #music #national

Alan S Bailey Aug 2022

Bastiana As Me

Bastiana as me, being this lady truly that you see,
Within my solemn being, I am a love-a living dream.

You can not keep me from the light,
I am always a part of life, though not in plain sight.

Have a few or two lily's and put them aside,
I give this to the well and cast the spell-bide my time.

I tried the name Sebastian on for size, no lie,
But found myself in love with Bastiana, I can't deny.

Bastiana as me, I know I'm Alan to some degree,
But when all is frozen in time-don't you know?
My love, Bastiana...why this name...it is the one true me.

My love, it's this one and only name, the real me!

Why oh why do I keep on trying to deny...?

Bastiana means revered, by the by. Hehe

#love #dreams #sebastian #light #aside #spell #life #girl #names

Alan S Bailey Jun 2022

Grain of Sand

What does one grain of sand get you when you
Are missing a beach full of good times?
Maybe the thing to do would be to leave the
Plain social behaving life behind.

#short #social #sand #good #times