I know what it's like to have everything
I know what it's like to feel stalemate
I hold the sky in one hand
And stop it crashing with the other.

Pulling together is easy in theory
When deadweights don't counteract
I'm staked on everything
And at what price?

I'm not a god
But gods reconcile with me
And the burden of humanity
Is too heavy for my shoulders.

I am just a being
Inhabiting a body of man
I have euphoria from my surroundings
But it is short lived.

But then again
I have learned from man
That nothing lasts forever
And I won't live to see it.

So I hold this head high
Knowing I'll be gone in style
But until then I am just being
Someone who understands, yet doesn't.

14th August 2018

Soft skin
Addictive smile
She slips through
Easy to let go.

I struggled on
Missing her scent
Girlish twinkle
In every mirror.

Left me hanging
Just a memory
With her hair in my face
And her hands in the sky.

Why do I try
When all I do is breathe
And see a shadow over me

Why do I cry
When there's nothing
She's the shadow over me.

You provided shelter
Without a shoulder
I lived through that
To see your face.

Now I look ahead
Holding hands
Feeling your presence
But I'm alone.


12th July 2018

I am the most reserved of my fae folk
Time accompanies my many youthful wanderings
Tending to the blooms scattered over misty hills
Overshadowed by my protective, brotherly trees.

I’m walking through the lane that divides them
Surrounding my aura on all sides
I let the sun filter through vibrant leaves
As I touch them with the sombre kiss of rain.

My wings glint gossamer in dewy threads
And my skirt skips a beat in the afternoon breeze.
My hair floats around my head like a veil
As I leap to fly yonder over reminiscent childhood fields.

My essence dances amongst the clouds
It is my truest, constant loving friend
I breathe every carefree day with the promise
That it will taint every flower a more brilliant hue.

My eyes witness a lingering, enticing sunset
I’m free to follow its enchantment until I reach my home
And as I close the willow door behind me
I draw the blinds and settle into the embrace of slumber.

23rd May 2017

I’m grounded by your hands on me
And when your voice speaks to me
But if you’ve been away from me
I traipse away too easily.

Please don’t take it badly
My distance doesn’t mean you failed me
Regardless of good or bad things,
I find stability in self-retreating.

My body feels the wind in the trees
My soul feels the restlessness in my core
My mind is a wandering landscape of nothing
That matters to anyone but me.

I see you reaching out to me
I see you trying to touch me
And I feel you shrink away when I don’t respond.

I’m sorry I drift away, but I can’t stay.

My head is lighter than the clouds
My feelings are your only constant presence
I’m someplace else, and I’ll be a while.

My body feels the wind in the trees
My soul feels the restlessness in my core
My mind is a wandering landscape of nothing
That matters to anyone but me.

There’s no point in denying
My wings have caught air, and I’m flying elsewhere.
You’re better off reaching me
When your eyes look back and see me.

Ideas are too real to let go
And I blizzard them blindly like snow
And I don’t miss you when I’m caught
In the independent world of the unknown.


25th March 2018

My mind has a love affair
With a constant force of nature.
Her love grew on me like wild ivy;
Our memories deepened tremendously.

I feel the ocean breeze around my feet
And running her fingers through my hair.
I feel her kiss me, and take away my longing
When my lover’s not here.

I travel back to my sandy toed days
And turn my face to the sun.
I’m surrounded by many entities
And I stay til the sun is gone.

The sea is a great comforter to me
Known by many names, but always amazing.
Her mind is full of rips and curls
Her body holds countless creatures below.

I can almost reach out to her
The one I fell for like no other
I sometimes wonder with shallow breaths
If I’d love to breathe easily in her depths.

The saltiness of her breath
Reminds me of my lover’s touch.
If no other being is besotted by me
I’d give myself to her willingly.

2nd April 2018

I woke one early morning
To find the flowers in the garden bed
Singing a gloomy song.

I bowed my head with theirs
And I sang my own words.

'Come back to me
Daisy who used to smile
Poppy who joyfully beamed
Rose who trusted me.'

They all sang back to me
'Weeder who used to protect
Child who used to admire
Water who used to sustain
Why have you left us?'

Their faces started to show
Girl with pale eyes and skin
Boy with sunken thighs and limbs
One with jagged wounds, and thin.

The girl shook as she looked
The boy barely stood
One cowered under their hood.
I smiled as best I could.

But they didn't smile back
All frowned and glowered
Or wept, or sulked
Like ice cold showers.

I touched the girl's face
It started to crumble
The boy screamed,
One fainted.

I backed away slowly
As they started fading
The sky darkened, and
Dawn indeed began...breaking.


17th February 2018

Didn't want you to go
You wouldn't take no
I reasoned and wept
But you were too spent.

As His blade danced
You were entranced
Didn't see your last stand
But you took His hand.

Death kissed your face
But He won't wipe away your tears.

So pale and cold
So young and old
I'm not sure I see you anymore.
I know what it means to be gone.

One spark in one heart
But yours will never start.
Many laughs at bad jokes
Now silence muffles what you spoke.

If I saw your pain
I wouldn't refrain
From getting closer to you.
But Death beat me to you.

But no point in regret
I need to forget
The flaws I found irritating,
Nothing is worse
Than this curse
Of part of my life being missing.

Death kissed your face
But I always wiped away your tears.

So pale and cold
So young and old
I get what it's like to be gone.

I never want to be gone
I understand what it means

To be gone.

3rd December 2017