We are going
To die and
That makes us
The lucky ones

In the teeth
Of these
Stupefying
Odds, it is
You and I
In our
Ordinariness
That are here

The needle won't
Reach the record
And that's ok
We reach for
What to say
As the silence
Grows too strong
Yet nothing ever
Remains within
Forever is
Far too long

You see that?
That's a whole
City on fire
The war will
End.. soon
But before
That, a lot
More people
Have to die

You scramble amid
The shattered
Jagged facets
Of yourself
A circus show
Of a hollow soul

Dreamshards
Timepieces
You caught a
Falling star
In a dead field
And it twisted
Life-like
In your grip

He asks me if
I believe in angels
And before I realize
I don't have the heart
To tell him, I tell him
"Not Lately.."
And just wait
For him to hate me

But he doesn't
Know how to
So he never does
Loving like a man
In the time
Before God gave
Man religion and
Left it to them to
Figure out
What hate was

I want to be
Your ex boyfriend's
Stuntman and do
All of the things
He never had
The courage to do
Like trust you

If you cut a
Gecko's tail off
It'll grow back

If you do
It again
The gecko
Would be like
"Dude.."

When all
You have
Are memories,
Who will
Remember you?

I take drugs
To wake me
I take drugs
To sedate me
I even take drugs
To make me
Not hate me
All these drugs
Have me wondering
Lately what drugs
Ill need for
The things
That await me

I had nothing
But time
I could see
The life of  
It in all its
Fleeting
Terrible light
Wondering
Had I lived?
Was I the
Object in
Another's story?
Was that all
I ever was?
Could I
Be more?

Nothing but
Time and still
No answer
I had glimpsed
Into the mind
Of eternity
Perhaps the
Mind of god
And found
Nothing but
Silence

Sticks and stones
May break
Your bones
But you've
Never held a
Broken heart,
Have you?

I am happy
With not being
Worth lying to

Only a
Sunny smile
Little it cost
In giving
Like morning light
Scattering
The night
And making the
Day worth living

I always
Needed more
I always needed
Something else
There was always
Just a missing
Piece to me
Being okay

"Am I evil?"
Worse,
Youre smart
When you know
Nothing matters
The universe
Is yours
And I've never
Met a universe
That was
Into it

It grazes on
The ordinary
Creating infinite
Idiots just to
Eat them all

Put a saddle on
Your universe
Let it kick
Itself out
It'll never stop
Trying to throw you

And eventually
It will
There's no
Other way off

You have completely
Stolen my heart
And I honestly
Never want you
To give it back

We are not
The monsters
That we sometimes
See each other as

I don't need you
To understand me
I just need you
To believe that
I am having
A human
Experience

Just believe
I'm a person
And that I'm
Going through it

Because
It takes one
To know one

We, these wing'd
Wicked things
Filth and fiends
Fearless and free
Terrors that soar
Waking you
From fevered
Dreams
Mayhem
On a whim
Fugitive as
The wind
Christened
In sin
Do you truly
Know your
Wolves within?

We are you
The madness
That lurks
Within your
Deepest animal
Mind; begging
To be free

Nothing to prove
Or disprove
About yourself
Or to yourself

None of us
Have to
"Go to" anyone
And the idea
That we do is
A mental illness

We can't keep
Going to
Each other
Until we learn
To go to
Ourselves

Stop making
Our hatred of
Ourselves
Someone else's
Job

The mind, divine
Through the vine
Of time
Tangled, entwined
In some
Grand design
Of marvelous form
And numberless prime
A nothingness enshrined

All the light
We cannot see
Lovely, dark,
Soundless and deep
Figures shift, restless
In the mist
A maskless mayhem
Patiently waits

I'm telling you
That it hurt
And you don't
Get to deny that

When a person
Tells you that
You hurt them
You don't get
To decide that
You didn't

I started isolating
Myself, used to
Say everything
I was feeling
But then I guess
I just stopped
I wanted them to
Love me for who
They thought
I was
And not who I felt
Myself becoming

Ever think about
How horrified the
People we loved
Would be if they
Found out who
We really are?
So we dig deeper
Into our lies everyday
Ultimately hurting
The only
People who
Are brave enough
To love us
Wish I was
Brave enough to
Love them back

We don't have
As much time
As we think

My mind drifts
To that night
You streaked down
Mainstreet shouting
To the late
Night world
That you
Were free

I manage to
Barely stifle
A little laugh
But they all
Knew it was
Me, their eyes
Surely said it

In that box
You're still as
Free as you  
Were that night
And I'm just
The guy who
Laughs at his
Friend's funeral

In a senseless
Explosion of
Sound, you are
Reduced to a
Crawling thing
On the margins of
A disintegrating
World with a
Lush numbness
And peace that
Lulls the mind
Making death
Seem so easy

Hurt people
Hurt people
And the majesty
Of this tragedy
Is the precious
Knowledge of
Our own
Self Destruction

Something is about
To happen that
We are not aware of
Our only chance
Is to keep our
Heads low and
Act like we're
Changed men
Because we're
Very close to
The end
We need to be
Okay with mysteries
And the stories
They breed
There will always be
Far more questions
Than there are
Actual answers
In this universe and
We need to be
Ok with that

This kindness?
I don't trust it
Like a purple sky
Before a storm
Beautiful; but
Do you realize
The birds are
Agitated and
The ants are
Marching in circles?

Being a partner
Means you're just
Making coffee

You start to
Realize that
It's just work;
An opportunity
"To do"
You're not learning
You're just
Doing something

Then it starts
To mean you're
Not getting by
You're "going"
And it's just a job

Your fellow partners
Aren't just colleagues
They're a company
And you're just
An employee

What is beautiful
About reality
Is what is beautiful
About math
There are
Many things
That have happened
The things that have
Produced this moment
Are at most times
ASTRONOMICAL
Meaning so big
It renders itself
Incomprehensible
Yet.. it happened

Even if the
Numbers against
Stand taller than
The daisy itself
Ever could
It still remains
In the meadow
For you and I
To see

Do not sit
So close to
The TV;
It'll make
You cruel

A lot of you
Would agree
That this world 
Would be a
Better place
Without me

I don't disagree 
In fact, I've been
Wanting to leave
It behind
For as long
As I can remember

So this is
The part where
I'll never recover,
The part where
Life takes me down,
And the scene
That scars
Forever

There's no easy
Way of asking
I already know
What he's going
To say but
Maybe he just
Needs to say it
So I ask
Him anyway
"Are you scared?"

Only smiles
And a patience
I've never seen
In the face  
Of someone
Who knows
That they
Are dying

All I believe in
Is that no one
Knows anything
I believe in
Sheer ignorance
Anybody that
Claims to know
Something
It's like
"How could you?"
We're clueless

Finishings can be
The hardest part
In these final steps
All the craftsmanship
Has already occured
The finishings are
Mere inevitabilities

You must
Come to terms
With the idea that  
Perfection is a
Necessary goal
Precisely because
It is unattainable

You must reconcile
Yourself to failure

It's not perfect
You have to make
Your peace with that

How?
Well..
You lay out
Your tools
And you
start again

I hadn't yet realized
That growing up
Was all about
Getting hurt
And I've got
Scars that say
I'll never
Really be ok
But when
You think
You're gunna
Die yesterday
Today is sweet

I must've asked him
About a thousand times
"Are you okay?"

And a thousand times
He would say
"Yeah"

Sometimes you just
Don't know
How unhappy
Someone is

The worst part
About being sick
Is you get all
The free ice cream
You can ask for
And the worst part
About that is
Realizing there's
Nothing more
They can do for you

I never called
You my cure
But I looked at
You everyday
Like you were
The only reason
I was still alive
And that's
Just not cool

But what
Happens when
I just don't want
To get help?
Like I don't want
To convince myself
To live longer

I'm so through with
The population,
Being human,
And being myself

It's like I don't
Want to stick
Around and see
If it gets better
I don't want
To get better

I want to be dead
I want to be nothingness

What intrigues
The flint
To spark a thought?
Is it sadistic?
Is it sympathetic?
Recognizable,
Understandable,
Plausible?
Do you ever
Know enough?
Lost in search for
The heart
Of the matter
Do you truly believe
In this world
You've created?

The past
always seems
To chase after us
When I choose to lie
I've learned to never
Let it go any further
If I know
I did something
That I'm accused of
I confess

I don't want to play
Cat and mouse
Delaying the inevitable
Is the worst game
You can play
And never win

If I did it
Then I did it
And that's all
There is to it

Captivity in
Concrete tanks
Takes away everything
That makes life
Worth living
Everything they
Need to do
They can't do
And everything
They don't
Want to do
They're forced to do

Sometimes she blows
Cigarette smoke
In your face and
You call that love
Not because it is
But because
You want it to be

You're so ******* lonely
So ******* unable
To handle the
Ocean roar in your
Ears when you're alone

You tell yourself
That the ash in
Your lungs is
As good as
A kiss good night.

Permafrost can go
As deep as
2 miles into
The earth
Way down there
Are these plants
Still alive and
Waiting to be
Discovered or
Thawed out

There's all this
Living stuff
Underneath us
Just waiting to bloom

When two Santas
Enter a room
Things can get
Ruthless

The first step is
Radical honesty
With ourselves

We don't intervene
We invade

That's not
"Collateral damage"
Those are
The corpses
Of children
And their parents

Ours is not defense
Ours is war

You're the
Oxygen mask
To the plane crash
That I've
Always been

I know how
Dark it Is
For you right now
You're in hell
And the only
Way out is
Through a long
Dark tunnel
And you're afraid
To go in
Because there's
A train coming
At you carrying
A boxcar
Full of heartbreak

And all you
Can do is
Let it
Hit you

Somewhere
Out there
A stillness
A darkness
Yet known
A nothingness
Awaits us
And it's better
That way

The purpose of life
Is that it ends
And people
Don't think
About death
Until they're
Forced to

If you're always
Telling yourself
How lucky you are

It's probably because
You're too afraid
To ask yourself
How happy
You are

It seems crazy
To change something
Thats working
The horse and buggy
Was working
It seemed crazy
To stop using that

But then they
developed the car and..
Well that destroyed the planet..

So that's a bad example