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11w
Xphaedos Dec 2015
11w
You left me. Why do I want you back so badly?
6w
Xphaedos Dec 2016
6w
I must be a *******
Because everything I do always hurts me
Xphaedos Dec 2016
Abuse me, abuse me, now you're gonna lose me
Xphaedos Dec 2015
Campaigns are: things where people who want to run America shout their opinions, how they’ll help, while roasting the others against them and shouting out random facts.
Xphaedos Feb 2018
Keep this chill out of my bones
You’re not around as much anymore
To talk to me when I’m lonely or bored
Xphaedos Jul 2019
Airwaves affecting our actions
Dissatisfaction guarantees
Money back disagrees
Buying happiness with ease
What an Amazonian tease
Xphaedos Jan 2018
I have to find something to do with my hands
Even when my mind grows tired and bored
Even if it means playing the same old games
As long as my fingers are floored
I play games over and over while my brain goes 'Let's do something else, I'm bored.' And no matter what, I still keep going back to the game.
Xphaedos Mar 2016
Have you ever wondered if you're worth something?
Have you ever told yourself you're worth nothing at all?
The least important, the smallest of small?
Stop it.
You're worth it.
Let yourself believe those three words.
Because I once was like you, but then I heard those three
Thought them, believed them
And now
Everything's alright, because one of my best friends finally
Is Me
Xphaedos May 2022
Eggs and toast on a plate for you
Didn’t you know you were hungry, too?
Starving until I could see right through you

Did you know I can see your bruises
Opened up, ******, blue wounds and
You stayed up and stared at my room’s walls

Trying to fall asleep and I know
You can’t just let it all go
It’s gonna hurt you if you don’t
But you can’t go home

Your shoulders are bare now
You tell me you’re scared of yourself
But what if I told you
That it’s not your fault

You thank me for small things
When I barely do
Everything that I can, I can do for you

Trying to fall asleep and I know
You can’t just let it all go
It’s gonna hurt you if you don’t
But you can’t go home

I know you’re not used to the love I have for you
I know you’re not used to not being abused
And I can’t forgive, forgive who did this to you
Even though it’s not my fight, do you know I’d fight for you
Xphaedos Aug 2015
Why'd I walk into this room again?
Xphaedos Aug 2015
Young
Old
Strong
Oh, so often told
Stay out of trouble
Out of the rubble
of our history.

No one rebels
Until it's too late, everyone lays still
Upon the altar, now

Blood dripping
The marble's sipping
It stains
Representing the failure of this time, in that place...

Hold tight, they say
It'll be alright
But it's nothing
Nothing but lies

I was the one who listened to the satan in the pit
Who wanted to change all of it
The one who rebelled for the better good
Because I was so misunderstood

Now look at me
Watching the marble drink in the iron
Watching the stains of yesterday, not for tomorrow

Young
Old
Strong
Oh, so often told
Stay out of trouble
Out of the rubble
of our history...
At first it was a poem, then...I heard it as a song in my head. If you read, and listen...maybe you'll hear something too.
Xphaedos Apr 2015
There's nothing wrong with being childish. Why not more often?
I believe that everyone has an inner child and they should release it more often so they can live a full, happy, while life.
Xphaedos Apr 2015
Starts in drafts
And wraps
Around you
Biting your skin in late afternoon


Kissed by the cold
Cool
Cold
Shivering
Frostbit
Dead
Xphaedos Dec 2016
You can count the little white pills with a green stripe around the middle
But you can’t count how many times in the last few years your mother looks at you with worry and resignation
Disappointment and consternation

You know she doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t understand that what’s going through your head are thoughts that make you lock yourself in your room and want to never come out

She doesn’t understand that the thoughts in your head are so dark you don’t want to wake up
And every day you struggle to find a reason to wake up, and when you finally wake up, the sun is blazing, burning itself into your sight, burning

Burning like all the secrets and feelings bottled up that are going to spill over at any moment, the bottle of feelings that cracks every night before you fall asleep, the liquid running and soaking into your pillow as you try to blink away your perspective on the world, on your own life

You try to guard your heart with steel walls, try to duct tape the bottle of feelings inside, crashing and thrashing around, being careful around the shards of your glass heart that have cracked and have come loose again  

But duct tape can’t fix everything, especially not your heart, and every time you try to pick a piece of shattered glass heart up, you continue bleeding, pouring from the scars and wounds you tried to sew shut, the things from battle that will never fade

Your mind is an ocean of constant stress, worrying away at your very soul, your desire to live, and all life gave you was a little boat that was called Hope and walked away laughing, saying, ‘Good luck’

Your depression rose up in waves around you, dragging you under breathe in and up breathe out and under again, never calm, and you’re struggling on the outside, everyone can see that, but you feel like you’re the only one who understands enough, why wouldn’t you be able to understand yourself, why can’t you understand yourself, why?

Because your depression left you stranded on an island with no one to talk to, with nothing to do, nothing you want to do

But you did all you could. You wrote notes on whatever you could scavenge, pushed it into a bottle, threw it in the ocean and waited

Waited for the sun to come up, waited for another day, another reason, for living

It was like ordering something online, just when you think it’ll never arrive, it does

An orange container of white pills with a little green stripe around the middle and by then, you realize you’ve survived on an island by yourself, you’ve lived this long, the sun is still shining, birds are still chirping

So you dump the pills into the ocean and watch them float away, smiling and waving

‘Goodbye depression…goodbye’

And when depression comes back, washing over the island, remember that life gave you a boat called Hope and when it walked away laughing, saying ‘Good luck’ you smiled and said ‘Thanks, I’ll need it’
Xphaedos Dec 2016
the only difference between *** for lust and *** for love is that you can tell when someone loves you, the way they touch you is gentle and their fingers crawl out ‘I love you’ on your skin

Everything they trace is a tattoo in a different color, everything they touch is another part they carve your body, providing definition, you are a sculpture to them; fragile and vulnerable, delicate and precise

Everything they run their fingers over is a new part of the sculpture piece, everywhere they kiss is highlighting the invisible words on your skin, ’you are beautiful, this is where’

but when someone loves you out of lust

everything is hard, fast, merciless, rough

nothing is careful, it is careless, no treasuring any part of anyone, even though they may act the part, it’s not true love

They don’t highlight you, they kiss you only because they can, they do it for the sake of doing

It’s all about being spontaneous, come, come, come, scream

Nothing matters, everything, everyone, even part is an object, nothing else
Don't get offended, it's just my opinions
Xphaedos Aug 2015
When you can't risk another nightmare
When you can't risk a look back at what you used to be
When you're the devil's very heir
And you're pretending to be blind when you really can see

When you can't look back on your past
When everything you remember hurts
You just can't hold this stance
And every time you look back, your stomach gives a lurch

When you're stuck doing punishment
And you don't even know what for
When your whole life is made up of lies and sins
And the one you loved slammed the door

When everything little day passing by
Is a shard of glass in your skin
And by some means, you wish you could die
Because you know you'll never win

The very day when you know it just can't go on
You've sank to your knees
But, oh darling, no one will think of your brawn
And I'm sorry, but no one can hear your tortured pleas and screams
That are haunting...every day, every second, every dream

Now those dreams will come alive
To shatter you so
You wonder how you've managed to survive
You're broken inside, I've been told

Wish you could rest, you tortured soul
Wish you could live to see the light
But it's kind of hard when you have no role
In your bitter, twisted life

Wish you could end it all, your life
One quick stab, or a shot, or a swallow
Maybe several stabs with a knife
Or slowly and painfully, in the gallows
It all ends on All Hallow's

You wish you could die, but you can't
Because you've grown to like the pain
You don't think they'd understand
That you've gone completely insane

Another loved one lost to you
Another fist closing over you heart
This mourning thing, you must be new to
Because it's tearing you, a shell, apart

There's nothing left inside you now
Not a heart, or a brain, or a mind
It might be a good time to tell you how
The sanity you lost, you'll never find

That first death affected you deeply
Got well under your skin
You were way past weeping
Your life being torn apart by the skin

The darkness is no longer chilling
As it bites and it tears and it calls
The fear it used to, is not instilling
And nothing ever frightens or appalls

You are alone in your room
Just with the moon for company and light
You might as well be in your own tomb
Because you've lost your sense of mind

Beer bottles litter the floor
But they've been there
Way before
When your soul was new and repaired

No one can hear you
Don't even shout
No one can save you
Because no amount

Can fix you
Save you
Heal you

And the nightmares come alive in the night
Once more to predict your blight

Another lonely night alone with yourself in your brain
For, drunken with loss, you've gone absolutely insane
Xphaedos Apr 2015
We could spend the day
Talking about the things that take our breaths away
We could spend watching the sunset
Laughing, and yet
We choose to spend our life sad
I think we should just enjoy what we can, and neither be sorrowful or mad
Xphaedos Oct 2015
Even some walls cannot contain secrets
Even some prayers can’t save your soul
Even some practice won’t make you perfect
Even some scars do not make you whole

Even some comfort won’t soothe the pain
Even some cloudless skies still produce rain
Even some fears just can’t be contained
And sometimes strong feelings you’ve tried to hide, still remain

Even some guns won’t defend you well enough
Even some badass crap won’t make you tough
Even some skills will fade away
And even sometimes, though you can still feel, you’ll be numb for days

Even some words can’t help you
No one can save you now
It’s too late, far to late to ask for help
And now, you’re going to drown

Even some cloaks can’t conceal you
Even though you hide, you’ll always be found
Even though you’ve always wanted to die
When you jump, you land perfectly unharmed on the ground

We live in a cursed and opposite world
One that’s cruel, one..plain unfair
And some Rapunzel’s won’t be there
To let down the golden stair

You’re falling, down, down
Spiraling into despair
You’ve searched for it all
You’ve wasted your whole life, grasping
But your fingers only catching thin air
Xphaedos Dec 2015
Even some walls cannot contain secrets
Even some prayers can’t save your soul
Even some practice won’t make you perfect
Even some scars do not make you whole

Even some comfort won’t soothe the pain
Even some cloudless skies still produce rain
Even some fears just can’t be contained
And sometimes strong feelings you’ve tried to hide, still remain

Even some guns won’t defend you well enough
Even some badass crap won’t make you tough
Even some skills will fade away
And even sometimes, though you can still feel, you’ll be numb for days

Even some words can’t help you
No one can save you now
It’s too late, far to late to ask for help
And now, you’re going to drown

Even some cloaks can’t conceal you
Even though you hide, you’ll always be found
Even though you’ve always wanted to die
When you jump, you land perfectly unharmed on the ground

We live in a cursed and opposite world
One that’s cruel, one..plain unfair
And some Rapunzel’s won’t be there
To let down the golden stair

You’re falling, down, down
Spiraling into despair
You’ve searched for it all
You’ve wasted your whole life, grasping
But your fingers only catching thin air
Xphaedos Jul 2019
I saw you standing there, in fields of vision
There were clovers at your feet
You were holding a bouquet
Your face held rosy cheeks

I drank you in with the liquid sunshine
As flowers bent their heads
They were showered with praise
But I got insults instead

The storm clouds then started rolling in
And you were so afraid
Thorns started swallowing you up
But you said you'd be okay
A work in progress - I definitely want to add more to this later!
Xphaedos Aug 2015
Comes at a cost
And at several a loss
How badly do you want it
Is it even worth it?
Xphaedos Dec 2015
Tell me that I'm the best.
Even though I think it's not true.
Change my day
Make it better, when I'm blue.

Tell me I'm perfect
But love me for my flaws
Love me for me
While the feelings are still raw

Don't lie to me
Don't hurt me
As difficult as it seems
Now, don't you understand
How difficult women are to please?
Hope everyone enjoys. I know it's a bit stereotypical. I apologize for that. But in a way, I wrote it like that on purpose. Society really needs to stop stereotyping.
Xphaedos Jul 2019
I'm in love with your skeleton, I'm in love with your bones
I love your tongue and your teeth, your flesh and your ghost
But the thing that I hate, is the one I hate the most
When you disappear into thin air, leaving me alone
Xphaedos Apr 2015
How are you, dear?
You walked away from me last year.
Do you regret it? Because I don't.
Glad I'm living life without you,
but I bet you don't.
Her
Xphaedos Sep 2017
Her
Her stomach hurts with a stabbing pain
Every day, again and again
No matter what she eats, she throws right up
And her boyfriend wishes it would stop

The doctors only give her pills
They use her as a money mill
He did his research day and night
Each growing day gave him a fright

Her pain grew to volumes she hadn’t ever had
Even to the point where she couldn’t even stand
He held her every day, he held her every night
But nothing in his power, nothing in his might

Could ever, ever help her
And he needed the doctors to learn
That if they didn’t help her, she’d be sitting in an urn
He never wanted that to happen because she’d never ever earned

That which was so deserving, only doing good
The only bad thing ever she’d done, as he had understood
Was break up with somebody, and that was all
So what was this, was this somebody’s call?

And so she’s slowly dying and the doctors do not know
They refuse to give her surgery, they refuse to diagnose
She cries of frustration and she cries out in pain
Every single night, again and again
One of my friend's girlfriends has something wrong with her stomach (it started about a month ago) and we don't know what is. We're constantly researching but this is actually a poem based off of what's happening. Please respond if you have ideas of what it is. We've already considered a lot of possibilities, and she says it feels like being stabbed in the stomach. It's not caused by allergy, and it's not in the appendix.
Xphaedos Feb 2018
I am on the street every day. Holding a chunk of cardboard, standing on the strip of street right in the middle, pretending I’m okay. Every day, I am hungry, chilly, alone. The winters are the worst without a home. The summers are almost as bad, but I can tolerate the weather then. However, in the winter, I am weary and thin. I don’t know how I make it by, no lie. My stomach would scream if it could, but instead it is reduced to lowly growls because I don’t know where in time my next meal stood. Every day, cars drive by, locking their doors, thinking I want more, shutting me out because I am begging. But what would you do?
What would you do if your marriage fell apart, they completely broke your heart, and you didn’t know how to save it? What if you lost your job to alcohol and depression and you can’t recover because you’re hesitating, and you end up thrown out? Thrown out of the small place with the dingy light over it because you can no longer afford the roof over your head- you know you’re dead. Pushed out, shoved out, called out, because higher classes of society lock their car doors at the sight of you, change to the other side of the street too because they think you’re going to cause them harm. How safe they are, in their small bubble without trouble, how nice it would be to live a life just that easy.
The homeless shelters always put me in a box, force me to be something they see me as - it *****. A thief and a lowlife someone who never had a kid or wife, someone who’s beyond hope, someone who wields a knife. And I’m scared because maybe they’re right. Maybe I am the one who wanders out in the night, hoping to give families a fright because desperation overtakes the body when you make this many mistakes.
The Walmart employees alway glance at me, don’t judge what I buy. I’m just getting what I can to get by, so I can stay high and away from reality, but no matter, I can’t escape me. I can’t escape myself and the things that I’ve done but c’mon, maybe you could with some cents - just one.
And maybe at the end of the day, I won’t give up hope. Maybe I’ll buy some patches to stop my habit made of smoke. Maybe one day, I can crawl out of this cold, and maybe right then, I’ll finally be whole.
Slam poetry style writing
Xphaedos Aug 2015
Fluttering, so fragile
A shred, infinitesimal
An ember still fighting to survive
Through generations, to stay alive
To keep burning into the books
How our history looks
What we've achieved
Lost, won, and grieved
And so, my friends, I hope a shred of hope you will receive in your greatest need
It will help in the darkest of your days to relieve
And just know don't ever let it go, because when hope is released

One more ember in the fire goes out
One more fight shivers and freezes
One more dead body added to the pile
And one more heart in the lives of our loved ones is seized

Take care of the shred of hope you have
Try to build a chest full
When you've succeeded that
You'll feel a pull

To help others in their darkest days
As hope has done to you
And hopefully, hope will be
Strong and good enough to see you both well, all through
Xphaedos Apr 2015
Right this way, please
Welcome to the house of color
Would you like a cup of tea?
Nothing is dull here

The reds are brilliant, and try to beat the others
But of course they don't get to, or we wouldn't be called the house of colors

The greens, how wonderful in every single shade
And then there's Neon Green (who was always a bit of a renegade)

The soft and sinister purples also come to view
Not all of them are nice, some of them are worn, not as new

There's oranges that roll downstairs (would you like a taste?)
The citron taste does not, the fine palate,  escape

The yellows pour in
some sunshine, some shades of *****

And then for cool and bright blues
(this isn't all, too)

We also have greys, blacks, whites
So step right in and order yours tonight

We don't charge much for shipping and handling (though they're much too hard to hold)
We can give you any type, light, dark, or bold

This was the house of colors, we hope you liked what you have seen
We also give quality: fat, thin, or a beam

We can give you rainbows (though those are getting rare)
And you must be extra careful with them (they easily tear)

So welcome to the house of colors
Not a normal house like others
Xphaedos Mar 2016
Don't look back now
Let go of the blame
What's happened, has happened
Don't partake in the shame
Shame isn't a party
It isn't much fun
So learn to look past it
Don't ******* run

I know that you're brave
I know that you're strong
I know you wouldn't ever do any wrong
So stop wallowing in pity
And pick yourself up
You're an amazing person, just remember -
Never give up
Your results may vary. But I hope this inspired you. Talk to your doctor if this poem isn't right for you. He'll write another prescription, and I'll keep trying to help you. I'll be off writing another poem. Always.
Xphaedos Feb 2018
I easily forget things
I can’t remember what I had to eat last
I can’t remember a lot of the past
My childhood was blurry because I was always in a hurry
I was always so busy running and playing tag, avoiding all my mother’s nagging

I don’t easily forget things
I can’t easily forget about people like yourself, your tongue, your teeth, your mouth
Fingertips and hands
Your hand in mine was the only sign I need
I’m so easy to read

I easily forget things
I can’t remember all of the songs I’ve heard
Can’t remember all I’ve learned
I can’t recall what I’m wearing
Ignore all the people staring

I don’t easily forget things
I don’t easily forget things like your smile, your eyes, your hair
How when I wake up in the morning, you’re not there

I easily forget things
Who I am, what I am
What I can do, what I can’t

But I can’t forget you
Xphaedos Oct 2017
I'll love you when you don't
I'll love you, head to toe
I will love your very soul
Every fiber of your being, every evening when it's cold
I'll warm your bones
Will deflect the sticks and stones
Because I never want you to be alone
Take away all the bullet holes
Take your scars, make them my own
Because you are my home
I'll raise you up and make you whole
Help you be the best you you'll ever know
Just stick around, please don't go
I can help you down this bumpy road
Don't believe the bad things you've been told
And I will hold you hand as we stand when we are old
Never letting go because we'll be bold
Every single night I'll fold your hands in mine, time and time, we shall uphold
The love I shared with you, dared to let it shine through, break the mold
If I had to sell a part of me for a life I can see with you then I'm sold
Let's run away, let go of the loneliness thrumming through our bones
Never lead astray, kept in the zone
Just keep listening to my silly poem
As we roam
Just wanted to write a cheesy poem where I could rhyme as much as possible with the same sounds.
Xphaedos Feb 2018
So you’re saying you’d rather not tell us anything.
     Hide away the pain every day because you think it doesn’t make us worry more
     What about me?
     Can you see what you’re choosing to do?
     Something that you don’t want to, pretending to be okay when you’re really not just so you’ll become an afterthought.
     Do really believe you’re not special in any single way, hope to any God, you pray that you’re going to be okay
     What about us?
     What about the promises you said when we were talking of our love, is that dead? Is it really that really difficult to love me, have you lost your head?
     You go to bed every night with a broken heart but every day you grow more numb because you won’t even start to give yourself a chance to heal because you’re scared it’ll break you again, a seal on your lips, zipped shut.
     Maybe you stare at the gun in the corner every night and want to cry because you’re so lost and you don’t know why but your eyes are dry
     Because when you broke that was the last time you felt tears stream down your face, built up a wall in haste against everything
     Against the world, against yourself, against me, against feelings, against healing, against sanity.
     You forgot that you’re kind, you lost your mind, drowning in the sound of nothingness, you tried to keep adrift but you just couldn’t
     On rainy days you stand out in the backyard, hair dripping as the sky cries, clothes soaked as you’re lost in thought because you just cannot deal with yourself.
     You live alone in your world but as soon as someone tries to approach you, you’ve curled yourself up into a ball, shoving them away to say ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’
    You’ve learned to protect yourself against the world even though you were perfect before, an angel but you just ignored that you were because you didn’t believe it, but now you kinda need it
     Because you’re wearing yourself so far down that even the kingdom in your mind has rejected your crown, your rule, you’re hoping you can jump in a swimming pool, a lake, a river, a body of water, and drown, sinking into the deep
     But it’s difficult when you fall asleep because everything you ever get is nightmares but when you tell people, it seems like they don’t care but I have and always will so no need to take those stupid pills just come fall into my arms you won’t come to any harm don’t be alarmed because we’ll be okay
     Yeah, we’ll be alright if by the break of daylight you can soundly fall asleep and you’ve had enough to eat so your skeleton won’t show, not that anyone would know but me
     Because I see through your act, all your costumes and masks all your brave attempts to hide just what lays inside because I know you
     No matter what you do, slash and burn me, I’ll still love you even if to you I’m a tool
     Destroy me just so long as you can preserve your best self, and lay my body to rest on the ‘Used’ shelf because I don’t want you to be bruised from the times I hurt you
     At least I died knowing you love me too.
This I chose to write in more of a slam poetry style, which is why the rhymes aren't always consistent, and neither is the grammar.
Xphaedos Sep 2017
I’m sorry
I’m sorry I pay attention to your wrists
But I do it because you’re beautiful and unbroken and I want the whole world to know
I want everyone too see how beautiful your skin is that your mother and father made, and how perfectly imperfect it is

I’m sorry I pay attention to your wrists
But I do it because I’m scared and worried that I won’t be able to protect you more than a knife ever did
I want you to know how loved you are and how you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met

I’m sorry I pay attention to your wrists
But I do it because I never want you to ever be hurt again; by other people or yourself
I want you to know how strong you are, and that no matter who hurts you, I believe you can pull through because you’re amazing

I’m sorry I pay attention to your wrists
But I do it because every single scar reminds me how I was too late
I wanted to be there more and even now, I continue to miss you and worry constantly, fearing that you’ll disappear from my life and I won’t be able to be a better friend

I’m sorry
I’m sorry I pay attention to your wrists
I don’t mean to do it to draw people’s attention
I know you’ve gotten enough of that already
Quick glances or long stares
I just want you to know
I’m here
And
I
Care
Xphaedos Dec 2016
Thoughts, thoughts, running around in my head
Wish I could control them when I went to bed
Xphaedos Dec 2016
Make something beautiful, and perfect
2. Break it
Xphaedos Aug 2015
I am left
To fall
with gall
Without grace
On my face
Representing generations of my race

I am left
to stand
Without someone holding my hand
No could possibly understand
This was completely unplanned

I am left
to drowned
without a sound
complaint, without ground
to hold me down

I am left
behind
to suffer, to die
Is the whole world lies?
Don't mind me, pass me by...

And so, I am left.
Xphaedos Apr 2015
So what if you lose all the time?
Pick yourself up, you're still going.
No, it's not easy. I know.
But you do it anyway.
You keep on going.
Surviving.
And this
all funnels
into who
you
are
Keep it up :D
Xphaedos Jan 2018
Wrap your arms around me like silk
And wipe away the stars that fall from my eyes
Work in progress - I'll probably edit later
Xphaedos Dec 2015
You said I was everything.
Then you left me, and I was nothing.
So what am I when you came back to claim me?

I was hidden away in the dark
Without you, I had a stone cold heart
Did you think by appearing you could unfreeze it?

I lost myself
And didn't want to find myself
So when you came back in my life and reminded me who I was
I sunk deeper into the shadows.

I'm glad you're back.
I'm no longer lonely.
You say you won't leave me.
But how can I trust you?
Especially when you've already left once.
Xphaedos Dec 2016
Your lips
On my mind
But this love is
Suicide
Xphaedos Dec 2016
I miss you like Hell
I’ve been through Hell missing you
Xphaedos Mar 2015
Only thinking of you, nothing and nobody else
Alone at night, sitting, tired, on this couch
The skies are dark, and all is quiet, except for the typing of my keys
I’m staying up for you, beloved, because I know you’d do the same for me

My feet are getting cold, and if only you were here,
I’d be warm and not so lonely, and I’d whisper in your ear
Right before I fell asleep, my head against your shoulder
“I love you.” and I would no longer be growing colder

But for now, all alone in the living room
As silent, cold, and quiet as a tomb
I have only one thing on my mind, and it isn’t sleep; it’s you

Alone, at night
growing colder
Alone, at night
probably older
But the point is neither
Only that I’m thinking of you though alone, there are knives at
my heart, as well as my skull, trying to chip away bone
I can only think of you, not even going to sleep
And whisper to the air in the darkness, hoping you’re responding back to me

I’m going to stay up until the morning’s first light
And fall in love at first sight
Because you’ll be beside me on this makeshift bed, even though
it’s really all in my head

I can wish, can’t I?
And I most certainly can dream
but when the sunlight comes, you’ll turn to dust and I’ll run
from the room, because I’ll be alone and I’ll be missing you

All throughout the day, ninja stars will be shredding my heart
But when dark falls, I can talk to you again, whether you’re really here or not
or you’re simply my thought
And the cycle will repeat
And on this couch I’ll take a seat and I’ll be

Alone, at night
growing colder
Alone, at night
probably older
But the point is neither
Only that I’m thinking of you though alone, there are knives at
my heart, as well as my skull, trying to chip away bone
I can only think of you, not even going to sleep
And whisper to the air in the darkness, hoping you’re responding back to me

I’m going to stay up until the morning’s first light
And fall in love at first sight
Because you’ll be beside me on this makeshift bed, even though
it’s really all in my head
Xphaedos Apr 2015
Love you, never goodbye, and one beautiful word for you: hi.
11w
Xphaedos May 2015
We get along well
But behind my back, are you only too willing to sell
My soul to devil, without my permission?
Do you really have evil intentions?
Do I need to watch my back around you more?
Is it a death threat when you're opening the door?
Please help me here, my friend, I'm starting to sink
In my paranoia, I'm already in way too deep
Xphaedos Dec 2015
I have this feeling
Crawling in my skin
Eating me from the inside
When will I learn my lesson?
Don't steal these lyrics either. Don't do it.
Xphaedos Mar 2017
The monster of perfectionism//eats away at me in the bones//and when I finally disappear//no body will ever know
Xphaedos Dec 2016
I'm not a game
So please don't play me
Xphaedos Dec 2016
Give me your hand, or at least fake it
No matter what you'll do, I'll still take it
Interlace our fingers like so
I won't let you get cold
Because I won't let go

You're mine, only mine
Always only have been, and I've kept you in line
I won't let anyone else have you
Because only I love you
I don't know, I just felt it would be interesting to write from an abusive perspective...
Xphaedos Dec 2016
Ring around the rottings
Of the burning bodies
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down

Ring around the masses
Smiling through the ashes
Fire, fire, we all burn in Hell

Ring around the decayed
Tiring games that we played
Silence, silence, no one is alive

Ring around the whispers
On all our mouths are zippers
Gruesome, gruesome, ways to die

Ring around the darkness
Which fills all of our hearts
Eyes sewed, eyes sewed, eyes sewed shut

Ring around the stumbles
the trippings and the troubles
Crumble, crumble, we're all trapped

Ring around the newborn
As we are reborn
Sightless, hungry, we eat all

Ring around the children
Hungry once again
Eat up, eat up, before they're gone

Ring around the parking meters
They will never leave here
Never, escape, fully alive

Ring around the insane
For we've eaten their brains
Gnawing, gnawing, at last full

Ring around the trashings
Of the goings and the passings
Time is, time is, falling down

Ring around the table
Not to pray, we're unable
Stabbing, ruthless, together now

Ring around the fires
Smoke goes up in spires
Ashes, ashes, more children rain down

Ring around the ashes
We pull out our secret stashes
Flesh of who we used to be

Ring around the old flesh
Stretching over the rest
Children, children, you'll be reborn

Ring around the needles
To sew the eyes with beetles
Stitch, stitch, sew, sew, you're all beautiful

Ring around the knives
to stab and slash children of all sizes
Soon, soon, you'll be like us

Ring around their blood
Bubbling and hissing into the mud
You won't need that anymore

Ring around the whispers
The reborn all need their mouth zippers
Hold still, it won't hurt, see? Now, it's done

Ring around the embers
We now have more members
Of our insane democracy

Ring around your street
Your house is pretty neat
Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll be next

Ring around the gallows
Hidden in the shadows
Tying, tying, you'll choke now

Ring around the findings
You didn't leave a sign of
Struggle, struggle, or bleeding out
Xphaedos Dec 2015
You see, today’s problems are all going fast
Everything crumbling, turning to the past
So everything I think of of
Has already happened somehow, someway
Like it was yesterday
Yeah, yesterday

Seems just like yesterday, I didn’t know how to speak
Seems like it was yesterday I was on a winning streak
Seems like yesterday the problems were far away
Seems like yesterday there wasn’t any pain

Guess things change
After a while
Guess things change
Though they have denials
Guess things are never quite the same
Guess it was just like
Yesterday
Yesterday
Yesterday

Seems just like yesterday we had the time of our lives
Seems just like yesterday we only told truths not lies
Seems just like yesterday we were all home free
Seems just like yesterday we opened our eyes to the world to see

Guess things move
And never really stop
Guess things have a groove
Gotta make it to the top
Guess things rise and fall
Making history
Guess things are written on the wall
Hey, are you listening?

Seems like yesterday I was president of the world (yeah right)
Seems like yesterday black and white was swirled
Seems like yesterday I got this whole new beat
Seems like yesterday this is all just a repeat

Guess some things, really never change
Guess some just like to stay the same
Guess some only do it for the game….
Guess some always take the blame

But it just
Seems like yesterday was a brand new day
Seems like yesterday was a scripted play
Seems like yesterday, the sky wasn’t so far away
Seems like yesterday we were getting paid

HEY HEY HEY

Seems just like yesterday, I didn’t know how to speak
Seems like it was yesterday I was on a winning streak
Seems like yesterday the problems were far away
Seems like yesterday there wasn’t any pain
Don't steal these lyrics, please.
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