I just went for a mountain bike ride
and remembered
we had always planned to do that
then i remembered
You hate me
Because i owed you something
But cant remember
What it was

i tried to colonize
your vast expanse
running low on oxygen
still took a chance

too long in deep space
living in zero g's
your bones became brittle
spine lost rigidity

screaming into the vacuum
but never heard your plea
the sad old tales
of self loathing and pity

or maybe you always knew
it would fall on deaf ears
your stronger than you think
but crippled by fear

still trying to colonize
your vast expanse
poised for the moment
given the chance

she told me to never question
things i don't understand
accept it for what it is
just take my hand

so i threw down the sword
gave up the fight
for a four year test of faith
and some dark *** nights

i was guided by doubt
feelings unexplained
this could destroy me
with nothing to gain

still i stayed true to course
with everything uncertain
there i had my first glimpse
when she peeled back the curtain

*now go write a sappy love poem
or better yet a song
how when you first saw my light
and it was there all along

"One Small Drop"

I gave one small drop
Of help, to someone
I don't even know.
To someone, I don't
Even want to know.
To someone, I don't
Even want to sit
Next to on the bus.
But that one small drop
Counts. And now, I know it.

Sometimes,
the sound of your snoring,
makes me want to run you through,
with a knife.

That atonal rasping and gagging,
penetrates every board,
every beam,
until this old house vibrates with it.

My rage is palpable,
a living,
pulsating thing,
It thrums alongside your ragged breath,

Dueling frequencies of dischord,
Your tortured sleep,
and my tortured nerves,
inexorably linked,

You choke yourself awake long enough,
to look through me,
Emit a vaporous moan,
and turn over.

I like it better when you're working,
and I'm more perfectly alone.