These nervendings
Stopped working again
Embellishings'
A hell of a crime
I'm not quite sure
But I'm determined
To learn from him
From any "HIM"
Mix a batch of medicine
Make certain it's poisonous
... A potion to open  you up

A potion
to make you devoted
But,  I know it don't
work that way
Yes, I've said
Magic is REAL

As any ideal
Forget what you know!
Throw it out
With the bitter wind
Oh I needa a plan
Needa plan
For today
No sense in really
Planning anything

I'm spent
So I
Sit and
Slander the page ...
Make .
It.
My.
*****.
Either I'm with you
OR I'm questioning if
This is who
You really are

Stay smart
Let's just part
Ways early
Separatism
Accept that this prism
Isl all  in
How you envision it
Different colored ribbons
I reminisce
Made space
In my memory bank
For these certain thangs

If weakness is unveiled
Could a foe be a friend

If you're skin read like braille
Could that friend be a lover?

If weakness is unveiled

Would a foe be a friend?




If your skin read like braille


Could that friend be a lover?

Because I'm better at being all alone
Than living up to someones expectations
And that's not living at all
They will drown you in plastic
To cover your flaws
I'm sure thats a job that lasts all year long
And I've got lots of them
Time to conjure one last acceptance speech
I'd like to thank the industry
for teaching me how to sleep with sheep
I'd like to thank the machines
For making, able bodied apes think this laziness is okay
I'd like to thank the dawn of a new age
Where hope is holding on with bruised fingers
Though we cheer passionately from the sidelines we wouldn't dare go up there to help it
I yell until passion wells
In the eyes of the wealthy who couldnt imagine a life that wasnt paved and pre packaged for them
But a single moment washed over us ,and so we lowered our
Heads to let it
Sink to the bottom
Now to unlock our DNA strands
Standing in a perfect circle
A surge of energy immersed us in the ability to understand what we weren't certain of
Electricity fizzed from our finger tips and now we're seeing this
Is being amongst brothers, sisters, and friends
No longer strangers, haters, liars or saints. Saints who sin .just creatures each was cursed with consiousness; in constant connection, we met to
Shed the skin of society chip at the obsession with illusion of time so we can finally aquire the tribesman lifestyle, simple, yet well earned we listen to the wind and learn from the Earth
I accept it as perfection
And think that pain is a hurt stray waiting in windowsills
Praying that peace will fill
Some lonely girls chest
Though she too was begging
To rescue something other than herself
To love is to welcome the infedel
With open arms
To love is to become and see
from each soul, go and leave  
yo tremendous
Ego half dead at the last show  
Now we reaching deeply to all walks of life, argue bout the art of hard knock life, weather lazy fate will win or through some luck find the strength to fight
Keep on getting beat down
But I rise up Everytime

Oh come on come at me I needa scapegoat for my anger
You came to play huh?
Wait til i load these lungs
lets release a contagion of language
if it's a virus anyway let's get sick and stain the papyrus with inkblots and secrets lost under my mumbles so I'm bout bankrupt on selling my emtions
To get well..very unprepared
I know, but under the surface I'm working on a dwelling I can go
To escape the hell
Here she comes they call it
The inevitable farewell
I accept the plane is powering down
Thank you for the freedom to scream my thoughts loudly
Though the crowd might be lousy
At listening
This time we've tried Bonding
Instead Of repeating
History
Farwell
To all of my survivors
Alive and well still wandering
Among the wreckage and can't quit bettering the new new
I accept you and respect you
So until our next hello my friend
Regretfully I bid you and the world farwell

She's a Fata Morgana

In the dark she's a phantom

Oh,   too bad she can't love...

My imaginary girl

Is just an image

Can never accept the flaws

Of the women I been with

Oh, the one I'm after doesn't even exist!

An elaborate magic trick,

A babe with satellite skin,

Some endless labyrinth

One I wanna get lost within

Like living in a fool's paradise..

Framed this whole Psychotic
                                         Paradigm

Low and behold I fell for my own hoax!

Now cursed 'cause I can't love things as they are

Then what's love but a mirage?

Not something written in the

Stupid Stars

It's a cloud formation

Mid chord progression

Liquid on the ground I'm steppin'

Its' just an idea

An extra image

Somethin' I'd want to believe in

But likely never be given

Something you only see in

fantasy        Or fiction

She's not real

Neither is the idea

Burn em both

***** bad
WOMAN good
LADY BETTER?

YOU SAID IT LIKE A CATCH PHRASE FOR A WHILE

PLAYFULLLY ELUSIVE, IS SHE


WHO IS ME? ME'S A ADULT BABY

  HALLUCINATING

A Fata Morgana

Guess I should jus let go??

Four play & War paint
Absorbin horror shows
The noises that corner mse
So many foreign coodinates

Drip through my head
I am the messenger
A witch you will never burn
Surely they'll stop hurting me

I play dead
Stuck in fetal positions
Just a symptom
Of disease.....
Probably

I'm a parasite some might say
So excited when your dead
Last 8 minutes where the
Brain stem shares

The mountains
You fail to create
Download from your database the endless wishes
You facilitate


We arrange to make love
Oh,  but make haste
Flashes attack before they fade
I like the fact that you can hang

Background folk rap
I bet this my soundtrack
Where I conjure compassion
And scorch out all of my bad habits

Rig up the riot gear
Ready the weapons
Slow up my heart rate
I will no longer
let this anger take me

Four play and war paint
Derranged
They have trained us
To crave what's dangerous..

In awe
I' always fall
Full-******
Keep the struggle,
I huddle up to
What little I got left
Lotta nights
I Layed in bed
ANGRY
'Cause all i ate
Was humble pie
For days on end
Spent the hours before morning
Blaming myself
I can tell its unhealthy
Making hell outta heaven
Rather have heavens made of  hell
Meanwhile my head swells
Its screamimg "help me"
You ever felt the full effect
Of your helmet
melting?

Sharp teeth
Rabid brain
Blindly Flapping
Me. Gasping.
Bet a bish
Had blacked out
Gotta get up
To get down

So hard to understand
How I could be so uninspired
Cheers! Here's to hiding
Riding w highbeams on high
Resisting fisticuffs and
Dodging drama
Although it always seems to follow
Me
I've been too cautious
I stay shoving down
What's inside of me
We don't get rewarded
For good behavior
As adults
But doesn't make sense that
We should be punished

Let it flow
Show No Love
OR
Show it always
Calling to Allah?

Got goosebumps from
Holding old tools
To fill the hole
To feel whole
Flipping scrolls

Your totally
******* up my focus
Floating so low
I let some select few
Get too close
So it goes

Shouldn't have told myself
It was okay to
Go all in
No specific goal in mind
I'm minding my own work ..

Please keep your
Peepers on your own paper
Place her
Half
an inch
A- way
from danger

That way
You can
Say you
Saved her...

Never to make her day
Never to take her out
Ya need to
Be Beaten
To see It
First hand

Time and
time
and time again
You watch a curse
Consume
Those you are
Devoted to
In fact it's long overdue

Invisible
is it too late?
To find my way
In this terrible fugue state?

Gorgeous yet grotesque
way to be oblivious
can you please see us
as more than just meat

and try to meet my inner mess
one woman show, so it goes
expose the jester I kept
sheltered outta fear

they never let her feel accepted
been betrayed about a milli
but still somehow didn't seem to get it
it starts to set in something they said
super prevalent it convinced me

that we are hollow we are empty
always getting arrested by envy
guess you just jealous,
of my comedic intellect,
accidental elegance,
remind me to invest in it

Let me nest in positive intent
& sent messages.. Please,
SHUT UP AND JUST LISTEN
It it the distance dimensions
I might be privy to?
Futile the difference.. between acceptable
and dare not ******* mention

Better get it how you live, For Real fix it
Forget to exist
Cuz I sense you inching toward
a world of archetypes, white lies, and dead wishes
while alone your beautiful
I vow to never fluff you up
because my love your finished

Fully flawed
favorite flavor
**** the flock
I love your layers

gorgeous yet grotesque
forever interestin'
always messy
couldn't accept a dimension
in which we haven't met


see i will bleed for you and **** all these sheep for you
these weak dudes, they can keep it up then ******* get bruised
and although I'm a loser, Its no lie. They can't even see you
and you deserve the moon

your void is loyal
I like the noises that it makes
and I think it harmonizes with mine
better than okay our combined magic made
Never felt plastic even for a second
better reset your clock cause if your not

thankful all them stomach flutters
will become hate
from butterflies to quick little make shift shivs
stay gold, for you are gorgeous
they will gorge on each every blemish
displayed on your skin

don't be afraid to live
because your insides are
just as grotesque as mine
theres something about
that squishy equipment
and how
soft and sacred
maybe it's
slightly contaminated
like satin in a coffin

Here we go
here's my toast to you
toast to the wasn't
toast to the wish it was
cheers to cherished seconds
and subtle acts of love
GO ON!
scorch me if ya need to
and I shall do the same
the multiverse
is still jeering
in regard to our mistake
Meanwhile....
I'll be weeping
wondering why we ever were
why our hearts fused
and our heads got filled with magic
given years of laughter
I was reachin' for excuses
questioning why you
didnt care
about me in that moment
the one moment I wasnt there
I keep dreamin
til 'i break down piece by piece
my thymus gets confused
constantly convinved its
still apart of you
quit plucking heart strings
youre so ******* cruel
the weight is heavier than
that of the moon

Light years away..

I'm tracing

State lines

On an old roadmap

Time and distance

Shrunk down to scale

Miniatures make my dreams

More believable;

Spirit always fluttering

Like a hummingbird

Underneath my ribcage

Much like a bird

I'd like to one day learn

I'm not stuck in this rut for eternity

My great migration, still waiting

Compass in my dome piece

Magnets to map my pathway

Am I even able move away?

Handgrenade Necklace
Fried brains for breakfast
Thank the universe
For making me reckless
To quote it he said
"This is a tangent
I can no longer manage"
Ripped the words
Straight from some shambles
I let mr. Psychobabble go and
Ramble til he's blue in the face
And logic is ripped from
His sensorys.
This is me
It seems I bleed
I'm a freak
I'm a poorly programmed robot
Shove me in little boxes
And watch me
Squirm

We've seen what the edge looks like,
How much the impact would hurt...
But, I cant get over how fun it looks to fall

Hobgoblins

Hanging, 
upside down
with his mouth pried open
slurping up  seepage 
in the plumbing pipes
dead skin, sweat grime
He'd be inclined to take a bite.

Some claim these creatures as
spiders
or rats 
but I have seen one in the act
Little ******* hides below the sink
to feed on tender infant flesh..
He salivates at bath-time
snapping at soft bottom fat
to fill his belly with a warm, blood-soaked 
snack
Baby cries another whole in mama's ear..
And I listened for a rummage in the plumbing pipes.

I guess I should thank you
For the solitude
I definitely do
Deserve some me time

I'm doing the moon walk
Through life at this point right
I've comtemplated hiring a Hitman for myself
As if you'd miss me
Truth is I couldn't handle it
If you weren't there with me
that minute when spirit leaves
I'm sure I'd dredge up every bad thing we'd ever done to each other
Carry that hurt to lay at the mothers feet
And tell you with hot tears that hey it's okay
I'm so sorry just know I still love you the same
All I wanted in the end was to smile beside you
..As my soul exits this frame
I will be reincarnated
As the hot tears on your face

Little bomb
In the backgroud
Shake the house
And rouse my bones
How exciting is destroying
The destroyer
And all they're faithful crones

How hard can it be to mend a heart.. all those sticky sinews,
Barely beating, begging for something new
The many and the few
Boot stomped, and regret kept fretting
Letting them trash the ****
I meant it when I said I loved
To be sick... the paradise within us
Go,
add a dash of bliss
And It Creates the perfect mix
Sit back and let the cryptic sink in..

This town is diseased
with atrophy
and it's snatching whatever's left
Godlyness
doesn't exist here.
Only the disgust
behavioral ****
we season our addictions with.


I'm worn down
Still refuse to forfeit
**** out the  bad
If you crave bliss
Then you'll have to avoid it
Heavily
etching forcefeilds
From the electricity

We now
Got a hex to protect us



Flee far away
from this vortex
Every inch I move forward
Means more
getting ****** in

But before that,
I was flooded with
scenes of great importance
I want to be better...
than this town,
these people,
and have something
Redeemable

In the end
I'm alone
tapping in my room
with a big cloud of anger at my back
..hoping it'll make me run faster.

Adventurous tales
from the darkest intenstines
Graceful vapors, seethe and strangle
Destiny waits for those who
bite down

DEAR EARTH,
we cry at the sight
of your curves
each minute I'm given
is a new way to face it


Avert the curses
my enemies  
burned in the skin
primal urges encourage
you to use the hurt
as it hits

FREEDOM is about to be plucked
from my eye beds
and thistles will take their
place
A thorny reminder of a slow-moving
monster..

Closure
Is an illusion
Science shows us
Life is constantly
In flux

Cant keep waiting
On a certain moment, event,
Or epiphany
To button up our suffering
In a neat little package

We've hung on to this hope of
AFTER
Only "AFTER" is when I'll be healed
Enduring days won't be devastating
And suddenly I'll be this beacon
Of strength, I'll be able to endure anything

In truth,
Grief's a heartache
That never really goes away
The brain starts to play
With what's "fact"and whats "fake"

If this is the way
Then where am I going?

Sooo I wrote this outta the blue last night super quick...not entirely sure what I'm talking about here yet haha

I may not be well-liked, but despite this, I will keep climbing for a higher life, was once advised that  "I must supply my own light or I shall die tryin'  Doubt they would write me in this script, simply for your excitement. Interwoven into wordplay.
Reciting mighty hieroglyphics Mind you, the haikus re-build themselves from ****. Make my itches. interesting. again. And follow blindly.
As if all of my lovers and kids
Had been sent
to defy me.
©️ Camryn Johnson, bowedbranches, twighead

Its getting down to the bottom
Of a bottle
I couldn't even afford
I see your face sometimes
In reflections
Periphery tricks
You're somewhere far away now
I don't want to write cliche love poems
Until ******* flows out of my ears
But I want to tell you....
Waking up next to you
and caressing your prickly Irish beard,
Making you laugh,
Telling you to stop poking me in the **** leg
Are the most cherished memories I have
Thank you for sharing them
I know I'll never wake to that again
So I guess it's back to searching for you in the dream world
Where you embrace me
and I'll say it's okay my "Bebe"
We're just fine,
"I love you."

The slight pitter patter
Hits our skin
Like symmetry
We could never sound it out
Or ground it in reality
Its singing now
It seems we'll have to box our ears
To even hear it
Dial it down to semicolons
And blank spaces
Sketch it in later
How i roll
The famous ******* procrastinator

That we never thought existed  
We're slipping in and out of dimensions
Quick, knock me back to 20-12
Before the universal concious shift When we had no idea...
it had been a simulation
ever since.

A winter storm builds outside my window
I leave it open then proceed to punch the pillow
Only. So. Often.
The coffin
Must feel similar to this
People who refuse sleep
But keep getting buried
On a loop
A pitch black room
Oh so relaxing
Watch me toss, turn, and flap
A billion times across this matress
And now
Delirum becomes a pass time
It's insomniac Olympics
Such a *****,
That I win every time

My lack of
Currency
Makes me worthless

In the worst way

Makes me
dispensable
   Disposable

Low and behold
I never thought
I'd dig myself

This deep
A hole

Oh No!!!

By application only eh?
Another test of my proficiency
Why do they care?
To pick out the defected?
To nip at the disease?
To find some sort of control over the whole ****** thing?
I'm breathing,
Viable,
Mad as a hatter in the skull cap
And I will not be put on bar graphs
I choose to be defective
Free-styling to my enlightenment
Laughing Like the Buddha
I think to myself "how precious it is to be this faulty machine"

The craving had been
More of a need
As of late

Energy taken
Energy generated
Or one could also say
One cultivated
One gave away
Every little thought
That you think

Isolated
from the rest of you
With steel walls
And the tallest gates
Barricade myself
In a little
Me sized
Cave

Wouldn't be surprised
If I never
            Even
                Came Out!

Groans that grace and *****
My throat
Grasp it til I'm gasping
Gag and gargle slow motion
Yo, don't panic
It's just another one of those moments
Where **** got out of hand
Way too fast
Oh, don't worry
Rage no longer has control
You know   I'd never hurt you
Right??!?!

Facets of a false positive
All we can do is keep it honest
Lost
And
Locked away
At the same time
When to be mighty
And when to hide
Guess it depends
On the timing

Its either
Chaos, contagion, or comatose
They weigh in
Those
Heavy
Pheromones
find a way to
Overgrow
Almost anything
No Matta what

Its either
Chaos, contagion, or comatose
Those
Heavy
Pheromones
find a way to
Overgrow
Almost anything
No Matta what

Sick of the land
I was placed in
Coddled with knee socks
I breathe when I feel lost

If I'm being honest
I can't even concentrate

Just gonna conk out
My last thoughts
Are on some

Wanna be
Sarcastic
God-complex
****

I know I'm weak
You know I'm scared
Of air,
Of loud sounds,
Of quick movements
I know I'll never grow old

I know
I know nothing
I'm subject to fumbling
So what do I know
I'm showing you my
How low I can go

I'm No expert
Im No les-ser
Than any man
I'm nomadic
Cromagnum Status

I'm a know it all
And I know you
You don't fully
open up to anyone

Know your groceries
They say with a
melting clock hanging
The danger of favoring
A shelter too soon
Is we lose grip
Of the real ****
Decorative towels
& premium paint;
Dressed to the tea
In chemical waste
But its all about the tapestry
The plastic fruit
With no distance weighed
..
If you knew anything
(NIHILS) you'd hate yourself
And get your brain to melt
Bc the pain always helps
When your a slave to
A swell
Conveyed
By someone
Else
Cyclical bent hell
Far from minerals
Wrenched from
Silly shells
Miracles,
Subliminal
Intimate
With a centerfold

The kind of text that
make my nostrils flare
and water build up
in my tear ducts
words placed carefully
to tell a tragedy
vonneguts work was layed
in my path to ventilate the
cluster ****
that was stuck
in my skull cap
Fragments fit to remind me
I've gone stagnant
and as a human
I should never settle
until death

F the
I'll be okay
stage
Now stunned
By some vanished
Anagram.

I've managed to stand
On two legs
Hexed to slave
over fugue states.

Staple sleigh bells
To our heads
Never to be lead
astray

We know death
Is a regular
Keep kicking sedatives
Down our throat
Hoping we'll get the message.

She ain't dumb
Just lacks perspective..

Let's be real...
Can a Libra love?
Oh ****, here she comes
Her essence is next to
the sweetest dove
I've found her innocent
Disposition's only a trick
Little games she creates
Then gets too bored to ****** finish

She said, "well what's the point of even fishing,
When I had caught the only fish who ever made me seem smitten.. The only time I spit
I LOVE YOU and actually meant it
To this day, I still wait
For it to say
A certain sentence
One so significant, so genuine

Deep down, I know it won't
So it mother ******' goes
I won't forget the time you told
Me that I didn't love you only loved the mold/ I sculpted
In my broken skull cap
As if you were just a ghost that
I didn't understand each tiny lil piece and couldn't read your atoms, just as easily, as I could breathe

You'll never fully believe this
I mean it's, awfully gd sad
So how bout ******* buddy
Truth is, I can't love  after that...
I Keep imagining the laughs
And All these flashes of magic
I never thought I had
I learned from you and yearned
For the few visits that I did get

Though most are
Mad moments I'll forever cherish

In all fairness I thought you
Should be taught a lesson too
Let you Stare off, sullen
not aware of what you do

He stomped my heart like a bug
Then proceeds to make an art
Of zapping my synapses
& harvesting my counterparts
(But Why though? You try and hide those /mighty ******
high hopes you have)
To build yourself a new start"

How painful it is to lose your soul-mate...
Dunno how to make it
How heavy my heart hangs
A little lower each day
Can't hardly write since your life was taken
Our plans for 2020
Quickly spiral down the drain
What to say to myself
To keep From going insane
Blatantly angry
Sapien Shaking
Maybe it's the pain
Or the way my shadows chase me
Aye, Meet me in the middle
Bounce a verse against my head
My stomach summons butterflies
Finally  alive  
Like a child
You always made me feel inspired
Trying to write without you
I feel,
Like a fire dying out..

I thrive off weakness
Seeing the deepend
As a way to way to
Try and breath again

Bed littered
With spicits
Debris
Of a fast chick

Afraid to leave my thicket
It could be tragic
To a has-been
Or have you not
Even opened up the gift you got

Too bad
You trap
Your talents beneath baskets
Dark and drastic

The mystery
Of screaming words
At the ether
Either way,
I'd rather embrace
The ricochets

Let's face it no where's
Safe
'cause people are evil
They know we need hope
And that It too will fade
So the mother **** it goes

I spend endless minutes
Attempting to create
Bufferfly effect
Set a second too late
All theres left to do
Is wake

Let it stream
Be believable
be-come a beacon  an
What am I butta heathen

So to me **** talk is a cakewalk
I'll chalk it  always
Straight up Block it outta memry
Non-stop
Vestiges

I Never been so
Non- chalant
Null in void
So numb to it


But sometimes heaven hits

... And after a billion epiphanies
A weakened soul
Can be made redeemable
All on my own now

Lu fin du monde
reclusive til the
nukes go off
Hydrogen bomb

NO time to hideaway
its survival now
some will call to christ
give all away their things
take from the greats
com-ply with society...
be a slave

Go to sleep
stay awake
face your fake
*** self in the mirror
here your yellin'
"You're not allowed to kick down my pillars!!"

Use said excuses
for fillers
Feel my heart -beat
fill me in
convinced it's
hardly an art piece
what a sin

DOOMED
to be seen,
exposed,
frozen,
in the same pose
same time zone

paintings that hang
in the hopes
that they inspire
passers by
stuck shovelin'
their way back home

I've been constantly
lost for a long time
tend to log all I've learned
like these kids will buy it

No Soul
Hollow molds
hide what little
they could grab

we watch as
home
gets
blown away

Mopin' in an overpriced motel
Trying to decide what items I can sell... Well, what's few and far between
Hardly any parts are even left of me

though THINGS do not define us
Take a peek in my chest cavity
You'll see I am righteous
High-strung Yet somehow Vibrant

Here it is, kids
'Tis the season of unrest
There's no sleep just tweakers
Screaming obscenities
In shadow corners
"****" "****" "****"  "godammit"
Im watching his sanity go
Right out the door

Is it the allure?
OR
Perhaps its the warm bed?
That's keeping me from leaving right along with it
I bite my tongue til it becomes
Blood red
Before I know it my mouth
Begins mimicking my head

And I'm yelling ...


"****** I can't stand it, get your **** together man!"

The crow
still remaining
every morning
forever hanging
on the corners
of lids
I sense
paranoia
seeping in