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12.5k · Feb 2018
Perfect timing
Danial John Feb 2018
I've been waiting...
For the right moment.
Wasn't sure for what.
But now I know it.

Been close many times before.
Ready to scatter my brains and soar.
Better than a deep sleep... Never more.
Unfettered, emptiness galore.

1
2
3
4

Squeeze
Bang
Splat
That's what I've been waiting for.
Shitzweak
2.7k · Jul 2018
D.E.D
Danial John Jul 2018
**** or be killed
                  Killer be killed

         For they pray
                           For their prey
                                    For they're prey
2.1k · Feb 2018
Me, myself, and I
Danial John Feb 2018
Sitting alone
I contemplate truth
I wonder if you know
I think it’s you

Forgive me
Or don’t
Forget me
You won’t

I have lost all my friends
Now it’s just the three of us
All alone
Inside my head
1.9k · Jul 2018
That Feeling (Us)
Danial John Jul 2018
That feeling
When you don't know what to say
That feeling
When you don't want to stay

That feeling
When you think you're in love
That feeling
When someone breaks your trust

That feeling
When day fades into night
That feeling
When you're tired of the fight

That feeling
When you finally understand
That feeling
When you stop giving a ****

That feeling
That you're feeling
That I'm feeling
That we're feeling

That feeling is us
When words don't quite do the feeling justice, you write poetry.
1.3k · Feb 2018
Retarded
Danial John Feb 2018
To get her
Together

Eyes
Mesmerize
Realize
Lies

******* **** to get her
******* **** together

Tethered
Fettered
Tar and feathers
Wrecker

To get her
Together
It don’t mean **** to me, I think
1.3k · Jul 2018
(Fuck)-feels
Danial John Jul 2018
Fire flies undulating in rhythm with staccato lightning flashes.
Campfires that have smoldered down into cinders and ashes.
Scintillating swaths of planets and stars that illuminate the night sky.
In my moment of time these sights and more have brought you to mind.
When ya got feels, ya got feels.
Danial John Aug 2018
I'm sorry...
I've been on one.
But just because I love you,
Doesn't make me awful.

One thing I've been,
Is hella thoughtful.
Pushing and pulling WAY too hard...
It's only cuz I want you.

No...
I need you.
At least if imma be complete.
I'm in desperate need of a redo I think.

I read you... And you me.
We run on a pair of graphic stories.
And the summation is:
Water circling down the kitchen sink.

Enough playing.
Are you willing or no?
Cuz I'm about ready to go.
Sooooo...

Do you wanna take a chance and let this whole thing unfold?
I could talk myself in circles... No... Spirals for hours if I let myself. I just wish I could talk with you, like we used to. I miss you.
716 · Aug 2018
Speaking Louder
Danial John Aug 2018
Damnation in a ****** nation.
Your thoughts are only your own if you don't say them.
From simple complexities to advanced basics.
We are an oxymoron and it's time to face it.
That or otherwise become complacent.
Then you'll have an excuse for when the human race ends and you're in the last placement.
Words to ears are not superior to feet to pavement.
Enough talk, only action can save us.
666 · Feb 2018
Alchemy
Danial John Feb 2018
Oh man, I can't stop seeing bad omens.
Flowing, from the empty spaces... pouring.
The blood in my ears is roaring.
I must make clear these notions.

The world whispers and murmurs.
I must be put on earth for a purpose.
Blessing and curses.
Still, I feel worthless.

I listen with the ear of my heart.
See with the eyes of my soul.
Getting closer, yet falling apart.
Will not stop until I achieve my goal.

Yet still I listen, transition and complete my mission.
Fate leads me into the ultimate competition.
Wrists twisted, wits missing, the clock ticking.
You must understand that if I don't try I'll never know what I'm missing.

And for the 5th quatrain, I plead the 5th.
My thoughts cannot be shared directly.
Read the omens with me and see pain's lithe.
Please bear with, I hope you don't wish you'd never met me.
Is all around you, just look and listen.
642 · Mar 2018
A way away
Danial John Mar 2018
In a land of 10000 poems I roam
Wondering if I'll ever find my way home.
I'm all alone.
Does anybody hear me?

Empathy pierces the fog... Nearly.
My visions are unclear... Clearly.
I pull monsters from within, searing.
I attempt to cauterize old wounds.

Also new.
They oft set my world askew.
Don't know what to do.
Will you help?

Writing ciphers in digitized pen, not felt.
Every word a wound, I stopped for my health.
Twisted and turned around, is this hell?
I must find a way...


A way away from myself.
No excaping who you are. At least not for long.
633 · Jul 2018
Life is Work
Danial John Jul 2018
I'm a bartender
Scar-mender
Heart defender
On another ******
Ready for a hard winter
Never a pretender
Opposite of a large spender
Certainly not anyone's number one contender
The one who's better
Yet often told never
555 · Jul 2018
Addiction
Danial John Jul 2018
My friend burns slow
I put her to my lips and draw
then exhale smoke
The tar stains my teeth and lungs.
I enjoy her presence because she makes me feel young.
535 · Aug 2018
A Sad, Pathetic, Mean Poem
Danial John Aug 2018
Please just hate me.
At least then I could move on.
Being stuck in between worlds...
Feels so wrong.

What am I saying?
You don't even read this **** anymore.
Yet you got me into it, mi amor.
Hey, Baby, ante up and slay me.

I know, I put a lot of pressure on you.
But you should know the truth.
It's only because YOU made me insane for you.
And THAT'S the truth.

But... Whatever. Nobody gives a ****.
Least of all you.
That much
I'm sure of.

I'm just waiting for the day.
OD.
Slip away.
Set my soul free.

No more problems
No more worries
No more love
No more pain

Sometimes I wish I hadn't known you in the first place.
I'm so selfish I guess...
524 · Jul 2018
Dreams Shattered
Danial John Jul 2018
I shared my dream with you
It wasn't easy for me
Then you gave up
Told me you had to get real

It was a mistake trusting you
Thought I could share my dream
But for you it wasn't enough
How do you think that makes me feel

I don't give a **** what you do
I must have a disease
I thought if we shared our love
It might help me heal
I can't belive you...
466 · Aug 2018
It feels like
Danial John Aug 2018
It feels like...
We haven't seen each other in a week,
Spoken in a month,
Shared a smile in a year.

It feels like...
I've been going with no sleep, running on E,
Lost without your love,
Only guided by the fear.

It feels like...
I miss what it used to be,
I could never have enough,
Just wanna see you smile from ear to ear.

It feels like...
A mystery,
Love,
Joy and cheer.
451 · Jul 2018
Thoughts
Danial John Jul 2018
Nothing's ever good enough
Everything *****
I'm not good enough
I ****
I want to die
You don't want to be around me
Rather be with him
Or him
Or him
I asked you why
Told me I wasn't a tool
What do you take me for
A fool
Told me it wasn't me, it is you
But I don't belive
I don't want to breathe
I just want to leave
You in the past
Because you hurt
And I blame it all on you because I'm a ****
Clearly this isn't worth
Effort
Love
Work
This is what you wanted right? I'm giving up.
429 · Mar 2018
Just Neurotransmitters?
Danial John Mar 2018
Why do I feel so uninspired?
High flyer
Tight rope walker
Wired

Why do I feel so insipid?
Fix it
Otherwise listless
Just a sniff

Why do I feel so bored?
Fast forward
Here we go
Oh lord

Why do I feel so insane?
In my brain
What's that feeling
It's not pain

Why do I feel so numb?
Going dumb
Asking if
Love is a drug
428 · Nov 2018
It was my birthday...
Danial John Nov 2018
...
...
...
And she didn't even say hi.

...
...
...
I couldn't seem to say goodbye.

...
...
...
I met another for the night.

...
...
...
Still can't seem to get you out of my mind.
427 · Mar 2018
Games
Danial John Mar 2018
So what if I love you?
Do you care?
I don’t.
If you don’t try, I won’t.

I’ve tried to the best of my abilities.
To me this is a mystery.
Why do you hurt so much?
I’m in constant misery.

It’s not your fault.
Please just tell me why.
Poking and prodding,
Until they die.
...
423 · Feb 2018
Bedrock
Danial John Feb 2018
The Luna moth is “born” without a mouth.
Because of this, the moth lives only one week.
It’s sole purpose is to find a mate and reproduce.
Now, some see this as a beautiful love story.
A heroic, single minded search for “the one.”
Yet, couldn’t it more accurately be described as a frantic race against death fought by a starving creature unable to vocalize, to speak, or to eat only to fulfill some poorly understood animalistic urge?
Where is the beauty in that?
Is it still there?
... yes...
Truly this insignificant creature can then be a representation of the live of countless lost souls who cannot seem to speak or nourish themselves.
For aren’t all souls, in some way, malnourished mutes?
Simply wishing to connect,
To share,
To be whole.
And, just as with souls, do all Luna moths succeed in their mission?
No.
But the beauty is not in success, it’s in the often futile fight against insurmountable odds,
Fatally flawed design,
And the grim reaper itself... time.
So take flight and soar.
Continue the futile battle.
Make greatness out of the struggle.
And maybe, just possibly
With enough persistence,
Skill,
And luck
You could be one of the few that reach their goals.
However, chances are you are like me...
One of the countless souls that failed.
Continue we shall, for if we don’t, our lives are utterly meaningless.
For even if we never reach the summit, we still try.
We become inspiration for the others, some of which succeed.
So in a very real way, we can achieve some level of glory through them.
We are the foundation.
The ground on which the broad shouldered giants stand.
The ground that nourishes the the flora which feeds the grubs whom become Luna moths.
Who will take our place and ... occasionally...
succeed.
Happier than I seem
409 · Aug 2018
God's plan?
Danial John Aug 2018
You made me belive in things unseen, like God and fate.
You also filled me with nothing but disgusting, rotten hate.

I now know there IS a higher power.
And I hope some day it is destroyed, dismembered, and devoured
402 · Mar 2018
Here
Danial John Mar 2018
Bare unto me thy demons,
Thy trials and tribulations,
Thy pities and sarrow,
Thy fears,
Thy issues,
Thy problems,
Thy confusions,
Thy anxieties,
All shall be exercised.

Exalt with me thy dreams and aspirations,
Thy goals,
Thy joys,
Thy ecstasy,
Thy enthusiasm,
Thy truths and certainties,
Thy love and compassion,
Thy radiance,
All shall be glorified.

Thou art worthy of this and more.

I beseech thee,
Allow trust to be thy emperor,
Empathy thy empress.

Share with me... fully and unabashedly.
I am here. Always will be.
393 · Jan 2019
New years love story
Danial John Jan 2019
New year, new problems
Same old ways to solve them

New year, new love
Same crippling thing that it does

New year, new life
Same thing, new ways to sacrifice

New year, new day
Same feelings when I see your face
When the new feels old maybe the old could still feel new?
392 · Mar 2018
Happily haunted
Danial John Mar 2018
A ghost
An apparition
How can you ****
What never existed?
389 · Feb 2018
The straw and the camel
Danial John Feb 2018
Please, just please
Put me out of my misery
I can't stand existence
I didn't ask for this ****

Why, oh why, must I be
Put me out of my misery
Slit wrist or a noose around my neck
I'm almost ready, but not yet

A straw, a brick
A hug, a kiss
Poisoned thoughts
I've had enough of this

Broken backs, broken dreams
You have no idea what I've done, and what I've seen
I cannot end it, because I deserve this pain
I'm a loser and hate the game

Purge my soul
Break my bones
Leave me broken
Or send me home
384 · Mar 2018
Thoughts I have
Danial John Mar 2018
I am all out of inspiration, my life a desolate hell.

I don't feel well, on a precipice might just end all my relations.

Desperation to make it cease, before I too am just a shell.

Maybe he fell, or maybe he was pushed by the temptation.




Either way, he knew something... A secret.

Couldn't tell anyone, there was no speaking.

Seeking an easier way to explain. Possibly with feelings?

Pealing faces away, shouldn't do any harm.




Never existed? That's wishful thinking.

A fistful of change, loaded and ready to meet the misfit's mesure.

Yet the virus was still there, slinking towards its next victim.

Another, and another, and yet another. It goes on forever and forever. No forgetting.
381 · Feb 2018
A Happy Poem
Danial John Feb 2018
I am happy.
No, really, I am.
How can one not be when life is so full of beautiful distractions?
The plants and flowers.
The trees and bushes.
The people with their smiles.
Its all just so magical.
Joy creeps through my veins.
My face is flush with ecstasy.
I can truly take in the worlds many lovely little things
when my lungs are full of love.
Who doesn't enjoy the mind-numbing radiance that seems to exude from life?

Now...
if only it could last.

Unfortunately it can't.

So now what must be done
is scrounge enough cash for another sack.



D.A.R.E

Drugs Are Really Expensive

They'll cost you your happiness, sanity, security, family, friends,
and most importantly...
Your money.
Doesn't rhyme
379 · Mar 2018
Thankful
Danial John Mar 2018
Bills and taxes,
Sorrow and sadness.
All on my lonesome,
I couldn't handle half this.

Jobless and without a whip,
Lonely and in need of friends.
If it was just me,
I would end this ****.

So I'm thankful.
I love my family,
Chosen and otherwise.
Help their lives as they have mine
Love you all.
372 · Jul 2018
Three and Seven
Danial John Jul 2018
He needed distance and clear mind
She was there
They were sick and in need of something new
It started when he began to stare
She sensed something special too
In due time
What to do

She just wanted Souls to be intertwined
They could be something more paired
He was in her heart and mind
Caught, ensnared
There was nothing that the two couldn't do
He was lost, the two never fully shared
She was scared, but wanted to

Cruel is time
He was fooled
She couldn't seem to learn that love is blind
Tests of time, they couldn't fare
He loved her and didn't mind
Didn't care
Two perfect halves of a whole, I miss you
2+2+3=7
1+9+9+7+1+3=3
7+3=1
362 · Feb 2018
Locked out or locked in?
Danial John Feb 2018
I've shed my skin
Rolled up my sleeves
Let you in
Now my heart just bleeds

I've taken off the mask
Set it aside
But if you ask
I'll put it back inside

Nobody seems to understand
Not you, not me, my family, or my friends
It's final
I'll never let anybody near again
Ugh... Kmn
359 · Feb 2018
Watching you leave
Danial John Feb 2018
I guess this is goodbye.
I’m unsure if you’ll stay in my life.
I’d ask that you would,
But the powers that be say you shouldn’t.

I’m sorry if I somehow hurt you.
I just wanted to unfurl my true being.
My only intention was to
Allow someone else into my way of seeing.

Often my thought are dark and morbid.
I guess I just wanted a light in the darkness.
Yet I still look forward.
You will find what you need nonetheless.

I didn’t fall in love with you.
Not with your beauty or personality.
If we’re being true,
I fell in love with your backstory.

I wanted to feed, and leech off your pain.
Soak it all up and take it away.
Maybe I helped, possibly I didn’t.
Either way, thank you for listening.

Goodbye.
At least for now.
Maybe I’ll see you again.
Somewhere around.
Ugh, miss you. Be safe. Find happiness. This is the last poem I’m going to write for a while.
354 · Nov 2018
And sometimes
Danial John Nov 2018
Sometimes the pain
Masquerading as passing faith
Does nothing but leave a stain
And a permanent frown on your face

And sometimes the hurt
Under the surface where it lurks
Should be given wide berth
Because addressing it will only make things worse

Sometimes the hate
Waiting to reach the boiling point of rage
Puts you beside yourself into another state
A place where every choice is a mistake

But sometimes the love
Oddly sanctimonious in everything it does
Slithers through the detritus and picks you up
Makes you realise the cycle's not over but only just begun
And then we do it again...
353 · Mar 2018
You
Danial John Mar 2018
You
You
Your hair
Your body
Your laugh

You
Your face
Your eyes
Your smile

You
Your life
Your soul
Your being

You
You
You
You
It’s all about you, but just who is you?
353 · Apr 2018
Divine essence lost
Danial John Apr 2018
I am severely depressed.
Every day is a struggle just to get out of bed.
They tell me: don't worry, just take your meds.
And yet...

I don't mind the cold,
It seeps into me, down to my bones.
The chill in my soul forms icicles in my nose,
They drip down my throat.

A pancaked atlas.
The weight of the world condensed, flattened.
A singularity of sadness.
Unsure of how or why this happened.

My only misgiving is that
Something important to me has gone missing.
Man's purpose, what makes him divinely great
Unfortunately, I've lost my ability to create.
I can no longer visualize my will into being. ******* depression. Why must I be obsessed with the numb pain you bring.
351 · May 2018
PLEASE READ ME
Danial John May 2018
[anonymous woman who definitely knows who she is],

I've wanted to say this to you for a long time. I guess I just haven't had the composure to say it to your face. Suppose I still don't, otherwise I wouldn't have to say this here.

When I came back home and really got to know you, you changed my life. I wasn't looking for or expecting anything like you. I've been hopelessly lost and depressed for years. Immediately I could tell you were different. Something about you makes me feel alive. I like me better when I'm with you. You are the most beautiful free spirited woman I've ever met, and I've met many. Even had relations with a few (believe it or not).

I truly want to know... Did you feel the same feeling I did? If you didn't, I'll accept that. But, every fiber of my being, and every sign from the universe tells me you are something special. Something that I should never let go of. And I'll defy anyone telling me elsewise, whether you or my dad, because I know what love is.

And you say you love me like a brother, I respect that. And in a way, I love you like a sister. But I can't deny that I feel more than that. I want to be there for you, be with you... Always. Regardless of how you feel, I will be.

I get that you've had a rough life, the roughest. And I want to help you in any way I can. I want to show you off to anybody who cares to pay attention.
And can you really blame me? I mean, you're beautiful. Your sense of humor is amazing. And you care so much about others, always seeing the best in people. And most importantly, you make me feel like the luckiest person to walk God's green earth. You inspire me to be a better man in every sense of the word. Your blue eyes peirce right through me. Your voice makes my smile. Being near you helps me sleep at night.

As a beautiful young woman, you have choices. And I understand that I might not be the best looking guy, or even the most capable. But I DARE anyone to test my resolve or care more for you than I do.

I love you so much it hurts. Regardless of how you feel about me, I want the very best for you... And remember, every once and awhile, just breathe.
I love you.
Just being real with you.
339 · Feb 2018
So what?
Danial John Feb 2018
If I want to die
                           So what?
If my beliefs are just complex lies
                           So what?
If my friends don't exist
                           So what?
If there's temptations I can't resist
                           So what?
If the broke stay broke and the rich get richer
                           So what?
If I can be reduced to 140 characters and a picture
                           So what?
If my faults are my own and not scars gained from the places I've grown
                           So what?
If I'm cold and alone, impaled on a fork in the road
                           So what?
If reality is meaningless and godly morality is diseasing us
                           So what?
If the good die young and the evil get to continue on
                           So what?
If the world is a beautiful place and the problem is the human race
                           So what?
If this poem rubs you the wrong way and you vow to make the unjust pay
                           So what?
If you feel like I am wrong or I went on to long
                           So what?
                      So what now?
                  So what do we do?
                So what is the point?
                 So what about you?
I wrote this, so what.
338 · Jul 2018
Payment
Danial John Jul 2018
I have suffered God's wrath
Punishments for my sins
Fate be we crossed paths
You're ment to tear me from within

I see now I deserve it
Reap the fruits of my karma
I still seem to think you're worth it
Even if you choose to forget our love

You're perfect
Cursed to be froze just below heaven.
337 · Feb 2018
You know who you are
Danial John Feb 2018
I suppose it's alright if you don't reciprocate.

I am deeply familiar with the inner workings of love and hate.

More than you think, I understand your position.

Is one I've been in, and don't find myself missing.





Just know I'll be there for you.

I'll know when and when not to care for you.

When to share with you.

And if you leave.. I might despair... I'll miss you.





However, don't let my pursuit of happiness derail yours.

Nor should I change your details or more.

I guess my path is to help create your happiness.

Even if I'm not in that, it's none the less.





All I ask is that you consider.

I've grown around all breeds.

When I see one, I know an elixer.

I might not be yours, however, that doesn't mean YOU don't fulfill MY needs.





I'm sorry for any pain or conflict.

I'm sorry that I'm not gone yet.

I'm sorry that I must fulfill my promise.

I am NOT sorry for how I feel.





This is real, unfiltered and unfettered.

Perhaps this way is really better.

I don't expect I or you to change.

Please know, I Am NOT just another page.





Nor another paragraph.

And perhaps I'm being brash...

I don't think so.

I'd ask for chapters or a novel written by your pencil.





And maybe I'm drunk.

Possibly I'm dumb.

Certainly I'm numb.

But That's why I can't ignore this feeling I call love.





**** it. I am dumb.

Probably means what I feel is wrong.

I must be just like the others, shuffling along.

Wanting something that I wish was mine but wasn't all along.





I mustn't know your true needs and wants.

Otherwise I wouldn't feel this incessant need to talk.

I want to delve deeper, trust me I do care.

I don't trust people ***** nilly, just here and there.





Maybe I don't know what I need.

Possibly you don't either.

But you're the only one whose got me writing poetry.

So I will die in this battle, because I am a true fighter.





I see the marks on your arm, on your body.

I have them too... by another name, on my soul.

You aren't nobody.

I want you to know.





For me loyalty and trust are king.

You should know, that's why I haven't made a scene.

I have too much respect, even if sometimes it seems unseen.

Truly, I am sorry... I do believe.





Like a true scorpio... Complicated, that's what I am.

I don't expect, or necessarily want you to understand.

If I believe you, you should me.

I'll be those singular tracks in the sand.





Listen, dudette... I know you prefer that.

I wouldn't do that...

That being: whatever... whomever hurt you.

I only want to learn from you.





So please... Get your **** together.

Quit ******* around.

Stay in my head.

Because I enjoy having you around.





Is it selfish of me to ask this?

Maybe not theoretically, possibly in practice.

If you're still unsure to whom I'm bleeding  my heart out with all this talking...

All you'll have to do is count the number of quatrains... Truly this is what I mean... even if you're only...
I know you told me not to get attached, because you might have to leave. I'm still not sure what the full meaning of that was. This wasn't easy for me to write. Expressing how I feel doesn't come easy to me. I hope you understand that. You came into my life by surprise. I wasn't expecting anything like this. Yet, I have no regrets. I feel like I've found my muse. I mean, ****, you've got me writing ******* poetry. I'm not sure if you get how out of character this is for me. No matter what I've said in the past, you are the 5th on my list. And you know exactly what I mean by that. That's no small matter either. I've meet many people in my life, and none have made me feel the way I do now, let alone without any physical connection. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, then I apologize for that. However, I will not... no ... cannot, apologize for how I feel about you. **** I'm dumb.
336 · Jul 2018
Friends Don't Kiss
Danial John Jul 2018
A friend
An end
Over extend
Do it over again

Chances
More than glances
Is it magic
Mental dances

Dirt
The hurt
More than you deserve
Such a flirt

My love
You're a drug
Enough
Squash me like a bug

Sight
No longer in flight
Future bright
I'd make it right

Ruin
Too soon
Not human
What am I doing

Please trust
Things rust
The deepest cut
Wouldn't stop my love
So many chances waisted
334 · Feb 2018
Grim reaper
Danial John Feb 2018
Every weekend, I sow the seeds
And then reap my harvest.
Until death I’ll try my hardest.
The devil should be scared when we meet.
332 · Feb 2018
The demon
Danial John Feb 2018
There's a demon in my house.
Nobody knows the route it took to be... but there are theories.

Some believe that it fills the gaps in broken families,
Others that its welcomed in by misfortune and tragedy.


And I?
I think it has been here all along.

At first, its hard to notice the demon is even there.
Once where  joy resided, only a  dull ache is felt.
But before long it spreads until one is beside it.
Next to the demon.
The world begins to fade into a illusionary grey haze.

So
so
slowly.

Infact, by the time you realize its been living with you... in you... its been days.
Your chest is as hollow as the now empty packs and bottles
that you think may solve this sorrow.

But you're wrong.

Once it is let in,
there
is
no
exercising....
this demon named depression.
*******
Danial John Jul 2018
You say you love me
But I'm sure I love you more
You sleep in your bed
And I sleep on the floor

I share my dreams and heart
They're all I have to offer
It seems you enjoy tearing them apart
And making me feel awful

I know you don't mean to
I can see it in your eyes
But nothing you say or do
Could make me forget your lies

Do you remember the night
When you showed my your scars
I told you they made me sad
I wish I could take our sorrow and cast it to the stars

Then you and I could live in a heaven on earth.
I've given you everything I have. Please give me a chance.
331 · Mar 2018
She fell
Danial John Mar 2018
She fell into a hole.
Is she still alive?
Still there?
I ask her, she doesn't know.
324 · May 2018
Eve's ill
Danial John May 2018
Evil in a needle
Evil in a pipe
Evil in the veins of people
Evil that gets you right
Danial John Feb 2018
When I was young

I sold my soul to the devil.

I asked to become an Atlas.

Now I wait...         wondering
Did the clandestine transaction work?
Or has all my suffering been in vain?
Have I managed to reduce the pain?
Should I have repent first?
I was filled with hate... blundering

and filled with passion.

Now in sorrow I must revel

Left to question what I have done.
Hindsight is always 20/20
319 · Jun 2018
Self defense
Danial John Jun 2018
Who would have though that the happiest days of my life would also be the worst.
Deep down inside my chest something has been growing... and soon I'll burst.
I do not understand why it's here, but I do know that it hurts.
What at first seemed a blessing turned out to be a curse.

This insidious beast, talks to me in my sleep.
It tells me lies, until nothing but false hope fills my eyes.
At first I tried to feed it, and when that didn't work I tried to free it.
Why won't it just let me be?

Still, there it stayed, in my chest... growing bigger and stronger day by day.
Even now, I can still feel it's foul poison lingering in my veins.
What once brought me joy now only brings me  pain.
I can't even remember when it infested my soul, but still I curse that day.

God please make it go away.
I am a man, yet I am only human, and I now see my problem has but one solution.
I must **** the love in my heart before it kills me.
I must relieve some of this woeful misery, it's the only way.

It hurts me to say, but I have my reasons.
The most important of which is simply self defense.

I must **** it before it kills me
**** it before it kills me
**** it, **** me
Self defense
310 · Mar 2018
Tool (Spaces in Places)
Danial John Mar 2018
Used                        (used)
U sed us                 (you said us)
E dus                      (eat us)
Ed u sed                 (and you said)
Used                       (used)
Different ****
308 · Jun 2018
Crossing paths (Goodbye)
Danial John Jun 2018
You                                                          Me
You                                                        Me
  You                                                      Me
   You                                                    Me
    You                                                  Me
     You                                                Me
      You                                              Me
        You                                          Me
          You                                      Me
            You                                  Me
              You                              Me
                You                          Me
                  You                      Me
                     You                Me
                        You          Me
                           You    Me
                              You
                           Me You
                        Me       You
                     Me              You
                  Me        Us        You
                     Me               You
                        Me         You
                           Me   You
                              Me
                          You Me
                       You       Me
                    You             Me
                 You                   Me
              You                         Me
            You                             Me
          You                                 Me
        You                                     Me
      You                                         Me
     You                                           Me
    You                                             Me
   You                                               Me
  You                                                 Me
You                                                   Me
You                   Goodbye                  Me
Formats not perfect, but then again neither is life...
307 · Feb 2018
Settling
Danial John Feb 2018
You must be settling.
That's what you told me.
Me and you, I'm must be reaching...
You and him, seems like it's reversed.

**** me.
**** him.
And what do you want?
**** us

I know more than you think.
That's why I always reach.
I see the best and learn to love the rest.
Everybody I love is the best.

Why do you pain me so?
It may be my fault.
My feelings are my law.
But then again, what do I know?
305 · Mar 2018
Fuck I’m dumb
Danial John Mar 2018
Here I lay
Thoughts lost in chronic haze
Here I sit
Drowning in my drink

If you won’t **** me, I will
Apparently unstable
Here, take another pill
I keep walking until I’m unable
This is my life now
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