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  Apr 2020 Saint Jimmy
Regan
I’m so tired, exhausted in fact.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of believing.

I wish I could sleep through it all.
Dream through the hurt.
Dream through the time.
Dream through the numbness.

But I can’t sleep.
Even if I could, I’d still be tired of living.
Just a quick message, I’m unsure to who is disliking all the comments of this poem but I can assure you I like every comment, thank you all for such kind words and constructive criticism. #ignorethehate ❤️
Saint Jimmy Mar 2020
Honestly?

I don't know, I love the thought of having someone there for me if I need them, of having someone I can talk to and grow with as a person.

But I love my freedom,
I love being able to act without thinking.
I love waking up with someone in my arms and then happily living a normal life with them. But I cannot simply sit idly  by and not do anything. I'm a free spirit at heart, an adventurer, there's so much to do and I want to do that with someone, but I need an adventurer to do that with.
This was written in November 2018 - just before getting into an awful relationship, and just after I started drinking heavily. Happily I do now adventure far and wide with a diamond girl, when not in lockdown obviously, sometimes doing 200 miles a day out to nowhere and back
Saint Jimmy Mar 2020
For the last week I was looking forward to seeing her again.
Because when I see her, I fall in love all over again.
I can look at her smile and see the light.

For the last week I was hoping I could hold her and ignore the world.
Because when I hold her, I can do anything.
I can take on the world and win.

For the last week I was longing to kiss her,
Because when I kiss her, the world vanishes.
It is just me and her, and I don't have to worry.

For the last week I was waiting to be near her.
Because when I'm near her, I feel safe.
No harm can come to me.

For the last week I was dreaming of hearing her.
Because when I listen to her, no music can compare.
I can lose myself in her voice and never want it to stop.

For the last week I was wishing to annoy her.
Because when she complains she has the most beautiful grin.
I can smirk knowing the response and waiting for it.

What's three more weeks of waiting?
She probably won't like me for this, but that's okay, she's difficult like that sometimes...
Saint Jimmy Oct 2018
I could tell you a story of a girl I loved.
A story so beautiful that you'll question the truth.
A story of love, lust and passion.

A beauty, walking on earth like a fallen Angel.
The days we spent, side by side, hand in hand.
Kissing her lips, with vicious hunger, dragging hands through messy hair, falling back onto stained sheets.

I can also tell you a story of a man who lied,
Who danced the dance of deception.
A man who stood, head held high as he took a final bow,
Kissed her on the cheek and left,
To dance with the next, until nothing of the truth is left.

I could tell you a story,
If I had the chance,
However the music is starting,
Do you care to dance?
Saint Jimmy Aug 2018
You deserve all the stars in the sky and every precious gem,
you deserve someone who will let you and help you grow.

you deserve someone who is going to be there in all the good and the bad,
who will spend nights holding you, just because you felt bad in an attempt to cheer you up.

You deserve every howl of the wind, every drop of rain, every ray of sun, and the first snow of every year.

You deserve the world,
But no one could ever give it to you,
Because that would mean they'd have to give you up,
Because if you saw what you were worth, you wouldn't want them anymore

No one could ever deserve as much because they wouldn't be the person that I sat up till 1 in the morning for 2 years of my life.
They wouldn't be the girl who heard all of my worst bits and stuck around.
They wouldn't be the girl who makes me smile and groan in frustration almost every day.
They wouldn't be the girl that encouraged me to be me and recklous.
They wouldn't be the girl that for so so long I wanted to be a permanent part of my life.

They couldn't deserve any of that because they wouldn't be you.
Saint Jimmy Aug 2018
Can I hard reset?
Restore to factory settings?
Set to default?

Can I go back to before I met you,
When we were just kids?
Just so I can fall in love with you again,
But can we make it work?
Or at least give it a try?

If that doesn't work we can go our separate ways,
Uninstall the relationship,
Disable heart.ios
Because app requited love isn't compatible with this device

But would it be worth it for the same error message as before?

Error: file.unrequitedlove cannot be disabled
Yoooo people's hello, enjoy, read, critique, all is welcome

Even hate

Fun fact: this was written in 5 minutes whilst brushing my teeth, so there might be places where it needs to be 'brushed' up on;p
Saint Jimmy Jul 2018
I'm sorry for all that was said and done.
Truth be told, drunks and phones shouldn't mix, I'll attest to that.

The later stages of being drunk lead to some very interesting confessions,
***** secrets spilled to open air,
If only someone would hear this drunken fool.

Confessions of words once whispered and missed chances,
Hidden feelings, and imaginary romances.
Words I might've ate, instead I would over contemplate.
Thinking about how I could never stand a chance.
But no one wants to hear this sober fool.

The outdoor type, was you to a T, never meant for me.
I can put up a tent, start a fire and that's about it.
I thought it was great, a small bit of your attention was all it took,
to teach me something not in a book.
But who's listening to this lying fool.

A bombers moon and the stars, I'd pick them over nights at bars,
Even if it were just to reminisce about a night we shared.
Hours walking to clear my head,
Of things that your friend twice said.
Yes, this confession of a regretful fool.

I'm sorry for all that was said and done,
For not saying at the time, but I've missed my chance,
I would bet on that with my last dime.
But I had to say, and I've got to know,
Did you maybe want to grab a coffee to go?
If you think it's about you, let me know, wanna grab a coffee to go?
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