I had JOINED HP on may 26th 2024!
Now EVERY SINGLE “may 26th”

I will send out an ”Anniversary” (if you will)
Of when I first joined that INCLUDES the names of my TOP 3 poems or writings in THAT year!

So you can go check them out again! And we can remember each year with the growing change in each poem, as I grow as an author, poet, and writer!

Thanks y’all for reading this!
Post more soon!
Love, your writer—
-- OW

I was born.
Everything was fine.
No complications.
No troubles.
But time grew long…
As I grew older.

Middle school came
So did the slaps on the shoulder,
The punches
The tripping
The cussing
The pain
The bleeding
The bruises
The swelling  
The shame

I didn’t stand up up myself
When I almost died
That very last day
In 7th grade.

Then an outlit appeared in 8 grade
Called .poetry”
Then I knew,
That I could tell
What I had experienced.
Now I share everything!
All poetry that Ive made,
It’s my new outlit—
A new-me re-born.

I can finally release
Everything that was so bottled up
While saying
“IVE HAD ENOUGH”

Writing became my life..
Look where I am now

I’m LITERALLY WRITING on HP
With over 100 VIEWERS
Who I HAVE found that want to help me
Who have boarded my boat
On the very bow
Had helped me rebuild my life
WHEN THOSE WHO HAD HURT ME
we’re STILL on the prowl

NOW
I have…
Over 550 POEMS
32 BOOKS
ALL different works IVE worked my ****
Off to make
To let of of
So people can SEE
Can HEAR
WHAT IVE BEEN-THROUGH
I Could HAVE DIED
that day
But poetry saved me

When no one else listened
YOU DID
Thank you
EVERYONE
As I continue
TO FIGHT

I’m CONSTANTLY
Struggling with chronic illnesses
Made up of trauma
And Mental and physical issues.

I STILL need support
Now..Im COULD NOT
Be happier to say..
I FOUND MY COMMUNITY
Welcome to…
MY HP PROFILE EVERYONE!

I had grown
from the blood—
grown
from that pain,
grown from those
who left me behind that day.
Yet when I grew,
covered in blood, sweat, and tears,
I didn’t realize how tainted I was—
with new fears,
new unimaginable pain,
new illness,
all said to be “framed.”
I grew—
yet they left me broken,
with more blood
that keeps clotting up.
Now my future is clotting—
with that blood,
that regret,
that pain,
that shame
of not speaking up
when I could have—
of leaving myself
with this new pain.
Even though I can’t go back,
this growth
has left me
permanently
changed.

Tumbling down my windows.
Outside—
Hazy fog
Overtakes the
Giant oak tree.
I curl up there
In my beanbag,
Looking out,
Tears streaming down my face
As I realize
That the fog and dew are like me.
They hide the good things,
Except the fog and dew don't last forever—
But what I see and experience do.
The little cardinal
Who sits on my small windowsill
Has now vanished
Into the dense fog.
Their sweet sound,
The gentle “coo,” no longer prevalent,
Leaving only my own thoughts,
My own breath,
And tears.
The fog so thick,
My window
No longer acts as a mirror.
I have so many fears—
They all come true.
I still fight.
Though I can’t stop the fog,
I light up my room
And place scents around.
I clean the dew
That trembles down my window
While I try not to fear,
As things do get better.
While I'm getting help,
I still struggle.
Each day and night, I fight
My body and mind.
But I'm here,
Pushing through,
Finding things to hold on to,
And slowly wipe away—
Like the fog and morning dew
That consume my life,
Just like my health does too.

I can’t keep thinking
When my head
Keeps on spinning.
It’s all too dizzying.
The demons are lurking,
The shadows that creep,
The pain that climbs up
From my feet.
They greet me
With blood—
Their hollowed stare,
Knowing I can’t stop them,
'Cause even fighting for breath
Is fighting through
Metallic, smoke-filled air.
The chest pain
That illuminates
Like a firework
Through my lungs—
No pain I have ever
Been able to tame.
My heart working overtime,
With only a slow whistle
Or gurgle bubbling out.
I don’t understand—and never have—
What brought this about.
Each pain
That ignites
Like fire
Is a missile
In waves.
My body doesn’t feel
Like mine anymore.
My body is giving up trying,
No matter how much
I try to fight it
Or be brave.
I can’t fight this—
This everyday pain,
The everyday night terrors,
The everyday hallucinations.
Blame.
All the headaches,
All the tics,
All the “seizures”
With no fix.
All the
Fidgeting,
The loss—
The game of life
Is taking me down.
You say I'm “not hurting,”
You say “there’s no way.”
You say that I'm faking it
For attention.
But you’re not in my body.
You don’t see what I see,
You don’t hear what I hear,
Or notice from my POV.
It’s not fair—
The way you spread my words
With new twists
That never even came to exist,
Like a discounted fare.
I’m stuck in the mud,
Stuck in the swamp,
Fighting my body,
My brain,
My thoughts.
I’m fighting
It all—
But I'm stuck
Far beyond.
Trapped in the murk
That’s held me for
Years.
That’s why it feels like it’s
Dragged on for so long.
I’m getting help now…
But…
Will it ever work?
The pulling and pushing,
The tearing and screams,
The crying,
The pain
That never recedes.
I know I can fight,
I know I'm strong.
I just… am falling apart
In a new world—
New tornados
Keep coming unfurled.

This is what i can only DESCRIBE as what I HEAR in the asylum..
….. this was a painful for me as it’s about bed time.. and it another night of HELL… (PLEASE SAVE ME)

Ear splitting
Shrieking
Gasping/ gulping for air
Engulfing
Echoing
Bloodcurdling
Pericing
Prettifying
Roaring
Howling
Anguished
Frantic
Strangled
Un-human
Ripping
Tearing
Throbbing
Jabbing
Ear splitting
Drowning
Whistling

I tried to get help
I communicated I was hurting
MULTIPLE TIMES

I had EPISODES
Right in front of your face
That doctors have diagnosed
BECAUSE MY BODY AND BRAIN
IS ACTUALLY shutting down

These are the words—
on all the paper work,
I have found.

“Attention seeker”

LIKE I WANT TO LIVE WITH THIS CRAP  
Then Im told to say
“Im fine” at home
Because there tired of hearing me “complain”
Im done..
I’m so done with this crap

I’m about ready to let my body take over..
If my body WANTS
To have tics..
Let that happen
I WONT subdue the seizures
I WONT hide my face
I WONT DENY THE FACT IM NOT OKAY

UNTIL I get the help I NEED
So
Everyone
IVE GIVEN UP
“stopping/ trying—“
To “control”
My body
I will let MY BODY
if it wants that
Cause Ive lost all control
I can’t stop it anyways…

IM NOT
Hurting myself
I DONT
want to die

But Ive given up trying it be “okay”

When I’m ACTUALLY dying on
The outside and inside.

They can SAY whatever the HELL they want
Doctors can say they can’t “find anything”
But I can’t keep “going”
The PATH Im ON right now
To “take control of myself”

When I HAVE NO CONTROL ANYMORE.