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Nikki Oct 2020
How do I silence
that suffocating voice
endlessly critiquing
sewing seeds of doubts
terrorising my mind
pushing all my buttons
relentlessly
and without remorse
how do I silence that
when it might just be
my own voice
Nikki Sep 2020
Time
We have so much of it
Yet never enough
Nikki Nov 2020
I have written about love
Many times before
But in truth
I have never been in love
I have dreamt of it
So many times
But I have never felt its warmth

And it has always torn me apart
Sometimes I felt unworthy
And hated myself
But other times I felt
I had so much love to give

Yet I've always known
That no one wants me
And it has always haunted me
Even now as I'm failing to fall asleep
Or actually, crying myself to sleep
I ask myself why
Nikki May 2020
Zie me
denk ik telkens als je me
nonchalant passeert in de gang

**** me
roep ik stilzwijgend
als ik je stem herken

Voel me
fluister ik als we per ongeluk
tegen elkaar opbotsen

Ken me
zoals alleen jij dat kan

Hou van me
bid ik hoopvol elke nacht

Vergeef me
dat ik je dit niet durf zeggen
Nikki Apr 2020
Iemand reikt me een hand
Als ik verstar
verdwijnt de hand opnieuw in de schaduw
Twijfelend blijf ik staan
Ik tast in het duister ..
Niets

Net als ik me omdraai
verschijnt de hand opnieuw
Deze keer neem ik ze zonder aarzelen in de mijne
En als de schaduw wegtrekt
kijk ik recht in twee hemelsblauwe ogen
en wil ik nooit meer loslaten
Nikki Jul 2021
What did I do wrong
To deserve this vast emptiness
Where life should be
Where joy and wonder and adventure
Should’ve reigned

While instead every day,
Blurring into one,
Is ruled by disappointment,
And self-pity,
And self hatred

When all I ever wanted
When all I ever asked for
Was one reason
Only one
To make my life worth living
To bring a light in the darkness
To make sense of a senseless world
To bring an end to all my doubts and heartaches
Only one
Love
Nikki Nov 2022
I don't know what i expected
Someone to notice me
And not ignore me
Someone to reach out
A helping hand

A naive and childish notion
Because no one cares
They never do
Why would you?
You
Nikki Dec 2019
You
When I am awake
I think of you
I see your colours
and hear your music

I listen only to you
I see only you
Wherever you are
Whatever you are doing

I just wished
that one day
you would be thinking of me too

— The End —