Your touch
Brings me back
To nights
Full of regret

An empty bed
A hollow aching

A life never lived
Without love
Without your touch

I still hear your voice
and your laughter
I still see your face
when I close my eyes.

But you’re not there
when I open them again
You were there one second
but gone the next.

I wanted more time
but you had none left
Leaving everything behind
and leaving us,
with a hole in our hearts.

I dread my last day here
I always have
It used to bring me to tears
as a little girl, alone in my bed

But I also welcome it
to see an end
to the endless war in my mind
to face the uncomplicated silence

Far from this beautiful
yet ugly place
No longer imprisoned in a nightmare

Finally unshackled
free as a bird
no more pain
no more ugliness
only beautiful freedom

Sometimes I wonder
what I will find
further down the road

Will someone be waiting
arms outstretched
inviting me in

I had always hoped
but never really believed
I always knew
it wasn’t meant for me

But against my better judgement
I still hope I am wrong
with every fibre
I wish
that this isn’t it
that there is someone
out there
waiting for me

Some roads lead to idyllic forgotten valleys
With quant little streams
Breathtaking views
A colourful painting bursting with life

Other roads spit you out
In loud and crowded places
The colour and life ****** out
Doubt and fear ready to swallow you whole

You are my valley
And I miss how you could always calm me down
Even at my worst
Just by being there

When I am awake
I think of you
I see your colours
and hear your music

I listen only to you
I see only you
Wherever you are
Whatever you are doing

I just wished
that one day
you would be thinking of me too

Night makes room for day
Quite the sight to see
All sadness and sorrow taken away
What a time to be

Day kissed asleep by night
Drowning in dreams sugar-sweet as pie
Glowing embers warm and bright
Roaming through the night sky

Howling fiercely at the moon and sun up high
An insurmountable distance to face
Remembered in one mind's eye
Two lovers separated by time and space