Nikki

Nikki Dec 2023

Where do you run to
When there’s no way out
When darkness is conspiring in your mind
And consuming every thought
Attacking left and right

Like a storm leaving nothing behind
But ruin and agony
Tearing at the fabric of your being
Exposing every truth
Bringing painful clarity
Spiraling in your mind

Nikki Dec 2023

Empty Sky

I reach out
To ask for help
But I stare up
At an empty sky
Not one star to guide me
Not one hand to hold
Nothing to stop my endless fall

Nikki Dec 2023

The Abyss

Do you ever wonder
About those standing
At the end of the world
Staring into the abyss
Wondering what’s on the other side

Would you look into their eyes
And ask them why?
Before they go down

Will you give them a second thought
Before you continue on your path
Or easily forget
Like it was only a whisper of the wind
In the darkest hour

Nikki Dec 2023

End My Nightmare

You can end my nightmare
With the swift hiss of a blade
Or a tender lingering kiss

Nikki Jul 2023

Pathetic

Never felt so pathetic
No that’s a lie
I feel pathetic every single day
But today it somehow felt worse
I was at a party
A few drinks in me
And everything I feel daily
Just felt heightened
Like the loneliness oozed from my fingertips
And the sadness sank me to my knees
And the emptiness filled my lungs

I was far enough gone
Not to care who saw me at my worst
But not far enough to finally forget who I am
It just confirmed what I already knew
That I’m simply pathetic, with or without alcohol

A colleague at the party asked me, without malice: 'Do you ever just let go, stop caring what people think, and have fun?' And i crawled deep in my shell and my demons waged war in my head.

#sad #empty #pathetic

Jun 2023

Luke

For What It's Worth

I went out to find
Some value in me,
So I sold what I had
For little a fee.

My eyes for a penny
I sold to some fools,
They're blind and useless,
Mistook for jewels.

My lips for a nickel
To the sweetest sin,
So they'll know the love
That has never been.

My ears for a dime
I sold to a lover.
To hear sweet nothings,
And silence uncover.

My hands for a quarter
I sold to a ghost,
So that she might feel
What I've wanted the most.

Finally my bones for a dollar
I sold to the earth,
But as for my soul-
There was found no worth.

Nikki Apr 2023

Mijn Duisternis

Ik wil mooie, hoopvolle woorden neerpennen
Mijn geluk uiten in elk gedicht
Als nieuwe kleurrijke melodieën
Die dansen op mijn blad
En aanstekelijke vreugde zaaien

Maar ik kan enkel en alleen verdrinken in mijn duisternis
En inspiratie halen uit de verknipte hoeken van mijn gedachten
Elke letter gedrenkt in pijn
Iedere beweging van mijn spreekwoordelijke pen een wonde verwoord op papier
Dus schrijf ik donkere, scherpe teksten
Of hopeloze, onbereikbare fantasieën
Die slechts mijn eenzaamheid bevestigen

#eenzaamheid #loneliness