They say pain is temporary
But how long will it hurt?

It's a neverending cycle

Pain
Sadness
Suffering

And when everything starts to get better
When the pain starts to cease
You burn yourself all over again

How long will it hurt?

I used to fly
Free as a bird
With no fear of falling

But now I am bound by chains
I have plunged into eternal captivity
Held prisoner by my own mind

The Smiling Man smiles day after day
Hardly getting any sleep
When night falls in his bed he'll lay
And he then begins to weep

Most days there's no life in his eyes.
No words on his tongue.
No thoughts in his mind.
No breath in his lungs.

He is but a mere carcass
Of what once was
His body is cold and lifeless
Flies swarm around him in an annoying buzz

His limbs are stiff
And so is his face
That smile still on his lips
His body stuck in one place

But when the sun falls
He begins to cry
His sobs echo through the halls
As he questions "Why?"

For despite his smile
He is not happy
Instead he feels vile
And his vision is blurry

The Smiling Man smiles day after day
Perhaps it is for the best
For it must always be this way
Even after his inevitable death

My soul is a lacuna
An empty void
Filled with nothingness

It's hallow and dark
The cold walls
Covered in cobwebs and mildew

And I search
Far and wide
To find the missing piece

The missing piece
That will fill my lacuna
And make me complete again

I hope the reflection in my mirror
Is happy
I hope she has lots of friends
And that she smiles with her eyes

I hope the reflection in my mirror
Knows she's worthy
I hope she doesn't lay in bed
For hours at a time
Sad and unmotivated

I hope the reflection in my mirror
Is confident
I hope she is brave enough
To start a conversation
And that she isn't too scared
To leave her home

I hope the reflection in my mirror
Never gives up
I hope that she can see
A future for herself
And that she never loses hope in me
Because I haven't lost hope in her

Engulfed in flames
The inferno consumes me
Dancing across my body
In a dangerous ballet

My skin
Charred and melting
As I incinerate
Until I am nothing more
Than a pile of ashes

But suddenly
I rise
Up from the ashes
Not letting anything hinder me

"Are you ok?"
I hear them ask
"Yeah"
I reply
My voice
Subconsciously growing higher pitched
So that I sound fine
So that I sound happy

But truth is
Most of the time I'm not ok
I hide my pain
I'm not too sure why
Usually I just don't feel like talking about it
Discussing hard topics

I want help
I need help
Yet I always reject it

It's funny how rejection works
It hurt me so badly
When it came from someone else
And yet I reject all the time
And once again I'm the one that's hurt
Because I lie
Over and over again
"I'm fine"

But I know I'm not fine
I wonder if other people know too
If they just pretend to believe me
Or maybe I'm such a good actress
That no one can tell

I want help
I need help
I know I need help
It's not normal to be contemplating death
And yet I can't find it in me to tell someone
I feel so depressed
That I don't feel like talking
To anyone

Maybe one day
I'll find it in me to tell the truth

"Are you ok?"

"No"