Microbees

Microbees Nov 2021

I don't know how much longer
I can pretend to be okay
Before my sunshine smile falters
And my heart becomes a bay

I love to laugh for others
But there's only so much I can do
Before I blow my cover
And my pain starts effecting you

I don't know how much longer
I can pretend to be okay
Before my regrets get stronger
And my guilt eats me away

I love to watch their eyes
As in them I see bliss
But still I choose the dark nights
Over the unknown ignorance

I don't know how much longer
I can pretend to be okay
Before one night turns somber
And I don't wake up that day

#regret #pain #sadbess #depression #suicide

Microbees Apr 2021

House of Memories

My lease is up, with my old memories
I have to stop going through the treasuries
I walk down the halls, looking over my old things
The old band of pots and pans has stopped ringing

I walk past the lines on the walls, measuring my happiness
Though the lines kept getting smaller, becoming less and less
The light bulbs of hope seem dimmer then before
Now each **** has a lock, I felt a need to change the doors

I locked myself away, I became enclosed
I dwelled on old memories, the ones I never told
The ones that stayed silent, the ones meant just for me
The moments of love and laughter, the only ones I need

Though as much as I want to stay, it's time for me to go
I've stayed here too long, this house is growing old
As much as I don't want to face my fears
These memories are too aged for me to live here

Written Friday, February 14th 2020 7:01 AM

#home #memories #pain #movingon #past #regrets #fear #attached

Microbees Mar 2021

Loveless empty

I imagined a smile faded from a face so loved by me
If one day I awoke with you gone from this life I wouldn't breathe
I'd try to inhale but you were my breath your eyes my light
I'd be crushed by heavy darkness, my heart and I, blind

I can never lose you, I could never walk the pavement alone
My eyes a broken dam, flooded land, I can't swim on my own
To imagine a world void of you is to imagine a starless sky
Without your warm embrace I'd be suffering from frostbite

Our hands never again intertwined leaves on my shoulders tons
My heart would be left alone, burning with the sun
My lips would be too heavy to lift into a smile
Without your glittering eyes my lips grow loveless and vile

The butterflies you'd awaken inside of my stomach now dead
Buried 6 feet lower than you, my love, your laugh replays in my head
I need you more than I need my heart to beat 60-100 per minute
If I must love, life I can live with 40 as long as you, are in it

Take my 60

#love #death #life #loneliness #pain #suffering #lost #darkness #sadness #passion

Microbees Mar 2021

Empty

An empty glass sitting on the table

An empty matchbox with a burnt out candle

The empty paper for that forgotten essay

The empty cabinet, the cutlery's astray

That empty fridge, nothing to eat

That empty wallet, nothing is free

Your empty heart, no love to spare

Your empty eyes, your cold, dead stare

Broken life, your modus vivendi

Living is lonely, living is empty

*Written Wednesday, June 5th, 2019 5:18 PM*

#empty #pain #numb #lonely #sadness #lost #broken

Microbees Mar 2021

Despair

Drag me down as I swim peacefully in open water
Take me deeper as my lungs burn hotter
Hold me and don't let me come up for air
Then let me go when I won't even try, too full of despair

While I'm crossing the road in the middle of night
Trip me half way an make me face the light
I'll get tired of struggling and just continue to stare
I'll watch, and just wait, too full of despair

While I sit on the edge of this beautiful cliff
I'll move closer myself, longing for the abyss
You can sit next to me, I wont even care
I've learned to love you, you're my despair

But before I breathe in the water, I'll be saved
Before the car hits me I'll get up and walk away
Before I slip off the cliff I'll get pulled by a rope
Because you're my despair, but I still have hope

#despair #sadness #pain #empty #tired #death #hope

Microbees Mar 2021

Veins of Rhythm

My ears love to drum, tisk, tisk, bang
And my lips love to hum sweet melody slang
Metal core and rock, my mind engulfs the </c0de>
Pen on marble desk, to perfect the wild tone

Freezing bleachers, cold eyed teachers, are no match for silicone bud
Blasting screaming hymn of men, a low decrepit thud
The lyrics match my mind and heart, thoughts pounding in my chest
With battered, bloodied, bruised soul I'll be miserable at best

Though music hurts, it hurts to heal, to hold my hand too tight
It pushes, pulls and drags me through the darkest days and nights
I shake and turn, tap my fingers to keep up with the noise
With shifty eyes, heart paralyzed, I think I'm paranoid

#music #rhythm #beat #rock #metal #love #addiction

Microbees Mar 2021

Sorrows Lane

I am here And so is pain
Walking with me on sorrows lane
Streetlights busted
With the memory of those no longer trusted

Potholes of misery
Echoing with the cries of good memories
"Shh darling I was there too"
I don't say the fact that nothing can save you

Sure you may be able to climb out of it
But on this road there's no point in irenic
I'll be alone until I die
" Not while I am by your side"

Oh right, my beautiful loving bride
My husband I'll be stuck with for the rest life
The thing that's been married to me since birth
Pain itself, a constant honeymoon of hurt

And yes, before you ask, pain has no gender
Congrats, everyone's thrown in the blender
Though I can't blame them, they give me company
I'm also not the one who decides if they leave

So as they drag me down this road and the road rash burns
I want to escape but we've taken too many turns
By now I'm far to lost in this maze
I'm forever trapped, counting the days

As the days turn to months and eventually years
And this labyrinth constantly changes so I don't know where's here
I stretch my hand to pains and they gladly take it with one cost
Poison seeps into my veins and I'm okay with being lost

#pain #sorrow #hurt #loss #depression #despair #powerless