Sharp knife cut's through
before my eye's
as anger, pain, and sadness
blinds my mind
as I unveil the thin flesh covering my eyes
as crimson blood flows
through my wrist
as my body collapsed
hitting the cold hard floor
with a confused look
thinking why I,m longing for air
and by the time I realized I lost too much of it,
its too late  
cause I can now see death at my door asking
why my child

It can be beautifully awful
or awfully beautiful
with so many hurtful memories
and untold stories
but mostly are depressing and
unwanted marks of the past

Rain drop drop top
the sound of the rain
coming from above

As it hit the broken roof
of the broken house
which where my lost longing soul
looks for answers

Answers of why the love of my life
used me, broke me, and killed me

For all I know
I still stupidly love her

Cutting my own arm
every other night
cause of what I am hearing
from the ones I trust

Yes I loved you and I still do
But what can I do?
You were with your "true love"
and you're just my "first"

I really wished were meant to be,
but do you love me?

I really wished that you were Juliet
and your Romeo was me
but isn't that a tragic ending story?

Well if were together
we can't have our happy ever after.

This is my life force
my only life force
A pill that would make
my pain go away
A pill that sends me
to my own dimension
A pill that makes me
fly so high
that I can feel the
stars at the tip of my
fingers
As I float to deep space
I realize there's nothing
to breath in
and found myself
gasping for oxygen
that sweet sweet oxygen
as I hold on for dear life until
I realized that I've been back stabbed
by my life force my only life force

I'm sorry I'm weak
please forgive me for my childish games
I loved you and I still do
but I was scared,
scared of the things ahead of us,
and seeing you suffer from this toxic relationship
this sickeningly toxic relationship
forbids my lungs to breathe

And setting you free was hard
but it was the only thing
that I can do or so I thought
to make the sun shine through
the darkest of your days

As I thought I moved on
but when I saw someone new
tears streamed down like a waterfall
of longing, regret and pain
for letting you go.

So I'm standing here
in front of you
with a torn heart and
a handful of courage
asking for a friendship
my high school fling.