To search with hope to regain
The seeking soul doesn't recognize
These vacant eyes peering back
From the distortions of lifes rippling waves
We must have dropped it somewhere
The pendant of our identity
Lost in the blur of the passing road
We lost ourselves somewhere along the way
We retrace our steps
Trying to recount the exact moment
We strayed from the safety of the course
The fork we faced
Forced a choice to be made
One of great importance
One we weren't ready to make
Little clue that our decisions
Would be life changing
We decided without considering
The obstacles we'd be facing
Though any choice is better than none
We still could have given this more thought
Any action is better than stagnation
But we rushed our development
And in our haste we forgot what was most important
We lost our reason, our purpose
Somewhere along the way

The manifestation of matter is divinities cosmic intent
Our Universe is efficient in its means to cultivate life forms
Harnessed by consciousness, and fixed within an organic vessel
Each peculiar anatomical organism has an individual perception, and from a distinct focal point
We experience life subjectively.

You're not a victim
You're an accessory
You're no spectator
You're a participant
You have control
But never really do
You have the power
To forfeit or keep it
What you believe
Will be true
No choice is a choice
Indecision is definitive
Hesitation is costly
Inaction is consequential
Pride can be blinding
Emotions distort decision
Logic is subjective
Perception creates division
We can look at the same image
But see something completely different
Repetition becomes boring
The extraordinary becomes ordinary
Excitement is lost to continued exposure
Reality gets lost on old wives tales
Lies turn into truths
Misinformation gets passed off as facts
Honesty is the most effective way to be deceptive
Reality is often too strange to believe
Being aggressively forthcoming sounds like science fiction
Youre too funny
You must be joking
Transparency is a rarity
Silence speaks loud
Think for yourself
Question your own convictions
Acknowledge your imperfections
Your conclusions may only be your own
The fear of being wrong chases humility away
Without the wisdom to make corrections
Lessons are wasted on deaf students
Taught by tongue tied teachers speaking in riddles, riddled with undiscernible rhythms
Knowledge is wasted on minds on different wavelengths
Even the clearest translations of life changing experiences are like hieroglyphs
The teachings are diminished to empty words, lost on minds not at the right point in their lives required to receive them
Seeing is believing
Description doesn't make the same impact as being a witness
Experience is the only real way to learn
Sense is found by singed fingers tips
With a new appreciation for blistering stove tops whos temperature taught a valuable lesson with the sound of crackling skin
Pain is our greatest teacher
It's sting is permanent
A brand burned in our heads
What you make of your pain can either be your greatest accomplishment
Or your ticket to a torture chamber
That has become your mind
Just remember what's inside
Is what will be reflected onto others
Your story makes an impression on everything you touch
Become the person you needed on your darkest days
Love is leading others to the light you went through hell to find
Survival should give you a sense of confidence and strength
Not the anxiety thats giving you those restless legs

Ill be your landfill, your dump, your wasteland
Unload your baggage and burdens on me
Discard the blame like a sea of crushed cans and garbage
Piled as far as the eye can see
Litter me with the accountability you avoided to sleep soundly
While my pillow holds mountains of hopeless thoughts and shattered dreams
You just needed a villian for your story
A sacrificial goat for your alter of self loathing
You thought that if you made them hate me
It'd be validation to treat me like you treat yourself inside your head.
I will escape your abuse but you will always be stuck with you.
Ill see you at your bedside, when you're paralyzed with remorse
These yellow eyes glow behind the closet door
My presence hangs heavy, fog curls floating over your wooden floor
I'm a haunting force, a creek in the night
An apparition in the shadowed corner
My wounds will heal but you'll live with the torture
We both know the truth
You did this to yourself
You'll be scorched in the end
By the same fire you tried to throw me in.
You're stuck with you, but I no longer am.

What choices led to this?
I lost track in track marks
Lined arms and veins missed
Addiction happens quick
Cant live without my fix
Infatuation with intravenous bliss
But theres a constant fear of being sick
Restless legs peeling skin from dry lips
Why cant I just overdose and end it?
Better people than I didn't make it
I just can't seem to die my empty life ticks
Rolling back my eyes staring deep inside where I like to hide my bruises
If the good die young then I'm eternal as the sun rise
But I don't shine, my darkness is a blinding solar eclipse
The blood rushes in my syringe the plunger delivers me to the heavens
This feeling feels too good to overcome
I just accepted my life for what it was
Even if this feeling that I love
Makes me lose it