It begins when you first see it, telling yourself it’s just fun
It begins when you first touch it, and tell yourself it ‘I can quit anytime’
And that’s where it all begins
I can remember my first memories of it,
Memories of the first time seeing it,
How I got so nervous – not knowing what my body was doing
Memories of the first time I touched it,
How I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do
Memories of the first time I inhaled it,
It took my breath away
I knew it was the only substance for me,
The feeling I get when I walk pass it, it would bump into me
And I’d tell myself that this is all just fun, so don’t take it seriously
But how can it just be fun, when it’s the few things that get me excited…
I want more - I need more of it
Drowned by the feeling,
The feeling I get when I’m alone with it,
My stomach cries in anxiousness
Grinding away with my sweaty and shaking body, crushing it -
Just wanting more, as I’m about to finish,
Left me dazed and puffing
When I’m done with it, when it’s gentle and vulnerable,
Laying by my bed carelessly,
I move my face close to it, even now my heart pounds,
Closer and closer to it, with her hair messed up, but how it’s just perfect like when I’d first seen it,
She is laying there in her most vulnerable form, her chest moving up and down as she gently breathes, with whimpering moans in between
I kissed her.
Hi my name is _ and I’ve been addicted to _ for a month now and I don’t plan on quitting anytime soon.
Addiction
16th of May, 2014