Mistakes were made, but I’m alright
I tell myself that to get through the night
One drink
Two drinks
Three drinks
Four
I down myself in alcohol to not feel like a wh*

Life is full of lessons
And so it seems
The only one that keeps learning is me
Because nothing is going right
These storms keep coming
I’m tired of fighting

Love is game and sometimes a battlefield
I’m always in the trenches, losing
Someone level the playing field

I changed your name in my phone a couple times
You haven’t been your name in awhile
From your name to “don’t answer”
To “unlisted”,
“He’s not with it”,
That little heartbreak emoji,
Just your saved number,
Your initial,
That stayed awhile when I thought we were vibing,
Then you got deleted
And I deleted the message thread along with it
I recognized a switch
You started moving different
Your last saved was “heartbreak on a full moon”
Now it’s just f* you

I was the punch line as I entered the room
Stares and stifled giggles were merely clues
I played my part
The shy, quiet church girl
Overweight and ridden with low self esteem
He was curious to meet someone like me
He picked away at my parts
I opened to his words
I showed him parts of me no one has seen
Only to end up hurt