I write because my head is full of things I cannot say out loud.
I write for the way my heart bleeds when people cut into it.
I write as my heart swells with joy until I feel like the Grinch on Christmas day.
I write when I cannot think of anything but hate;
The words angrily scrawled out on paper like hot flames burning up my emotions.
I write to let everything out.
I write because writing cannot talk back;
It can't tell me I'm wrong or to change something
It is purely just me.
I write because it is the one thing that will not judge me no matter what I say.
I write because writing is all I have.

I write to spill love, loss, and hate onto blank pages instead of my conscience.

In the middle of the night
I am wide awake
Craving you
Wanting your love
Needing your love
I've been counting the days since you've been gone
My mind bubbling over with frantic thoughts
An itching under my skin I can't scratch
Sometimes the world seems to disappear
And I'll see you standing right in front of me
But then just as fast you are gone
Then I find myself in a completely different world again
Lying on the floor unable to pull myself up
Or even remember exactly where I am

                       Just one more touch....

                                                     ­                   Thats all I need...

I think I could love you till the stars we look up at stop twinkling
And the moon turns out its light.

I wanted to be like your cigarettes
I wanted to be what calmed you down
I wanted to be what you couldn’t wait to press your lips against
I wanted to be the little thing you looked forward to during the day
I wanted to be the one thing you could not live without
And I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to become addictive
I just wanted you to need me the way you needed to light up every night

                              But then one day you quit smoking..

2am
I'm addicted to heartache
The kind that rips you apart inside
Leaves you shaking
Tears streaming down your face

3am
The moon bright in your eyes
Sparkling behind the moisture
Sobs wrack my body
The stars seem to be falling from the sky
This feeling is what I know best

4am
All is quiet
The night doesn't make a sound
Theres nothing left to come out
Tears have dried
And my mind is numb
I feel nothing
Hollow and empty
This feeling is all too hauntingly familiar

5am
The morning approaches
And I am still awake
Staring at the wall
Nothing left

6am
Time to get up
Plaster a smile on my face
Smear concealer under my eyes
And pretend like those dark circles aren't there

9am
Everyone is oblivious
But I know
That tonight
I'm going to go through it all again