My mind is fading
The dust is settling in
It suffocates me
I want to say I love you
But dementia won’t let me

There were stars
They were above us
And in our eyes
There we stars
As your hands gently rested on my hips
And mine were clasped behind your neck
There were stars
As we gently swayed back and forth
And the cool fall air
Pushed us closer for warmth
There were stars
In the way that you looked at me
And in the way that I looked at you
There were stars
in our souls
And in the way that we loved
There were stars

In that moment,
It was just me and you
The world ceased to exist
And left us alone
In that moment
You held me as I broke
I told you I was scared
And you told me that it was okay
In that moment
You made my admission of fear sound like a declaration of strength
And not a confession of weakness
In that moment
I loved you

How can you want to die in a world so fiercely beautiful?
Where rain comes out of no where and thunder claps loudly.
Where even night, through the stars lacks no light.
How can you want to die in a world where people love you when you cant for yourself?
Where hope claws through despair.
How can you want to die in a world so wide and new?
Where the sun shines warm on your face.
Where the cold wakes up your soul.
How can you want to die when there are so many reasons to stay alive?

The dust settles in around me
This sleepy hollow where I live
I snuggle deeper in
When did I last leave you?
You’re around me and I cannot leave
There is nothing in this world that could convince me  
I need you
Without you I am lost
You are my comfort
My security
You are as necessary as the air that fills my lungs
When this world is demented and shows me its horrors
I run to you
Where else could I go?
There is no one I trust more than you
And so I fall deeper into you
Into your warmth
Your comfort
Your safety
You.

To the boy in my back seat
I can see you my friend
There is contemplation behind your eyes
And thoughtfulness behind your smile
I drive on stealing glances as I go
The things that make up who you are never cease to amaze me
As we travel farther away from what we know I am calm
I feel this way because of you
I would stand on the pier with you
Or next to the grass where the goats graze
There aren’t many places I wouldn’t explore with you
But for now you’re safe in my back seat
And I can dream of what is yet to come
As I steal glances into my rear view mirror
Of the boy in my back seat.

One moment I’m happy,
The world’s within my grasp,
I’m invincible,
I made it at last.
The next moment I’m hopeless,
Fragile as glass,
I’m weak,
Please don’t break me.
And after that I’m excited,
I want to make plans,
I’m a social butterfly,
I stretch my wings.
Soon after I’m lonely,
I remedy with canceled plans,
I’m too tired,
Please don’t make me go.
And round and round,
Just like this,
This is how I live,
A sick twister of emotion.
I’m dizzy,
Hit the breaks,
Don’t make me stay on, done.
But in the end,
Do I even know who I am?
Sometimes I’m rain,
To a heat scorched land.
Sometimes I’m the heat,
That drives away the water.