Lexi - Hello Poetry

Lexi Apr 2020

Something happened to me
that I don’t remember but
my
body
does

Lexi Dec 2019

Death

Why is death so evil when
you
try
to
****
yourself?
people turn the other way pretend you didn’t speak those four words
Yet, when others die from other causes
they
cannot
talk enough of it?

#death #suicide #confusion #alone #bpd #ppd #mother #postpartum

Lexi Dec 2019

How?

How can you love me more than words describe but when I see myself I just feel shame and empty inside?
How can you be so happy to see me but I can barely look in the mirror?
How can you be so afraid to lose me but the mere thought of dying brings a smile followed by tears?

#ppd #bpd #anxiety #confused #love #sad #overwhelmed

Dec 2019

sophie

for the days when i think more than i speak

don’t worry,
i’m okay.
i just have to
be sad
sometimes.
to draw myself
back into my head
and make sure
everything’s working correctly.

a simple one i wrote in my journal yesterday

Lexi Dec 2019

13 months since...

A few minutes ago I hate myself a bit more than I usually do. I cut my thigh. One single cut, but it was at that moment I realized I was...alone. I can’t tell my mom she’d be upset. Couldn’t tell My brother he’d tell mom. Couldn’t tell My other brother I was scared to. I also wanted to die but couldn’t because of my son and I hated that. I also hated that I hated that. 1 year and 1 month. 13 months. 395 days. Gone. Because I was a weak.

When I wrote this I was a single mom. Now I’m back with my sons father and things are getting better and everything WILL be ok.

#bpd #ppd #singleparent #parent #single

Lexi Dec 2019

I don’t know..

I don’t know and nothing is all I feel;
it’s all I think. My muscles aren’t responding or maybe my brain just didn’t tell them to do anything
I don’t know.
My eyes however haven’t stopped flowing. Other than my heart, which I feel beating behind my eyes, seems to be working

#ppd #bpd #mother #help

Nov 2019

Ronin

you

you
are the everything
causing me to be
broken
empty
lifeless

you
did it
it is all
you
your fault
why

me
forever damaged
full of hate
all for
you