It's getting hard in the RSA
even those who don't get paid have to pay
the insane tolls
the cops on petrol
just to get on there way
you under stand what I say
the difrance between we and they we have hi-def blue ray they have it hard desray it means destiny I don't have a plan to get a fan or a groupie I know you probably thinking this ****** mind is doodie but its my duty to make things know especially the things that aren't shown on tv like corruption or so called special selection and the detention of those who don't deserve it because you deserve it

I'm on buzz cause of this love I'm getting from my team it feels like a dream I'll rise to the top like cream but with skin like milk chocolate my imagination flows like water out of a facet, tap I've got talent in the rap and my connection to my soul  is uncapped
I'm just warming up like a kettle I'm like a precise metal in fact I'm talent in its purest form I should be on cable or at least the periodic table but registered as unstable because I'm on a hair trigger jack rabbit with my bad habits like talking about things I don't know then asking   About things I don't know you know making the unknown known remember my curiosity  been burning like an ember

I truly fear for our women ashamed of the cards they have been given or delt and the blows that have been felt on their surface and in their core these stories I hear just leave my heart sore I need to flyaway on the broken wings of my generation with the help of some recreation  to stop the exploitation of those who don't know better not because they could have Learnt better but been taught better you can call It third world problems I call it mankind problems because it affects us all and we're all one after all ilitaration is a mews helps send across my point of view so light bulbs flash ding an idea that's was a great example of onomatapia  it's a process of elimination in a  copulative form these thoughts and ties are more messy  then the perfect storm but I plan to help heal our nation not by confrontation but cooperation

I hope these notions stay in your mind like the blank slate sticks with the blind and the peace with the deaf order In the hands of the ref or better yet Organised chaos,
Because that's realistic But we didnt request it, It's like a pay off  see there I changed the rhyme scheme From aabb.Too abba It's redundant to say But it helps me see,
my potential so I know my credentials and knowing you is essential to keep your heart full your flaws on tour don't think it  trifle but gargantuan like Rabelais' book but most wouldn't know his literature or calling any man sir  but they know facebook I hope these notions stay in your mind like the blank slate sticks with the blind and the peace with the deaf by now I'd  think you'd like to be deaf tired of my voice but I have no choice but to make a statement about what my emotional state is I hope these notions stay in your mind like the blank slate sticks with the blind and the peace with the deaf the name of this poem is emotional theft

I love how: she looks, she smells, she tastes, she makes me feel, she makes me act, she just makes good vibes. I love you Mary Jane

This is my haiku
Listening to mamas gun
Erykah badu

Let's make a toast partake if you hear my voice beyond the coasts.

To our past the hurst, the Many learning curves buried in the sands of time.

To our here and now The good the bad and the ugly take a bow.

To our future I hope you never
come.

Oh Adolescents
Emotional highs and lows
We mellow with age

Good with, good without;
If not good with do without.


You be good with you

Such ignorance,
such temptation,
Such Ambition,
such delusions of grander,
such hedonism,
such debauchery,
such betrayal,
Such jealousy,
Such bigotry,
Such caprice,
Such entropy,
Such stupidity?
such is human Nature.

There once was a man from Calcutta
he spat game like no other,
women would sleek and swoon
take him to their room
this list includes your mother.

I have a question. What is real? Should it be based on what you can feel because now feel can be touch or emotion, I feel the suns warm rays the same as I feel my heart break and no one can tell me or you that either is not real because we can feel so I ask what it is you feel? I for one feel imprisoned by the Mold society has put me in as a man I have to be handsome,brave,loving, trusting and understanding but at the same time because I am a man I am by default a conniving, cheating, abusive, alcoholic, womanizing pig, why? Because " we are all the same" such caprice why? Why is it I must feel ashamed to be a man why is it I must be everything you want and don't want, the light of your day and the darkness of the night the Prince Charming in your life fairytale as well as the villain with the apple in my hand ,the apple of my eye is that what you want? I feel as if I'm just the means to an end the end being the moment I yield to this mold these confines in my mind why do I have to feel like I'm the enemy? how is it my fault? you're the one who laid in the sands of his beaches indulging in that forbidden fruit from the garden of eden, your tears now fueling its sea,  but all i hear are your cries of betrale his name the lyric of choice but I see, I should take the blame its what is wanted of me the good guy but the moment I deviate from your plans I am the evil one I'm the reason for these broken hearts mine and yours I'm the devil can't you see the flames you set In my personal hell in my mind in my soul
why is it I'm a mockery?

Life is not black or white but,
We are being taught what's wrong and right,
By those who can no see the light
Bigotry is a result.
We have been brainwashed in to cults:
Whites are wicked, gays are sick
Blacks are stupid, men are pigs
Cash is key individuality is naïve.
You are worth what is on a piece of paper:
Student, teacher, Doctor, salve or *****,
My god is right yours is wrong
Bigotry has become a way to belong.
"You've changed" no I've remained the same
your clouded vision is to blame,
In this world of black and white with more grey then either
Bigotry preys on that like a fever,
Can't you feel your hot head
Your rash actions have left him dead.
Your justification he wasn't one of us,
Bigotry can only lead this world to bust.

thought I was better...
clearly not. I am Tender
Scabs scraped off by time

I know the way to her heart,
And no, it's not through laughs
I'll climb her like a ladder,
**** like a jack hammer
But eat her out for starts.

A map is used to find direction and your current position. I find you can get all this from listening to RAP,
Now RAP is to me rhythm and poetry which can be changed to music and poetry(MAP) but we are taught that rap has no meaning in the bigger picture when in fact it paints the current picture

Now we only have our position how can this be a map? In life you find direction for oneself so how could this differ? Rap lets you know where you are so you can know where to go because life is change,
Not only to acquire fame but those who make the biggest change are the ones who are most famous, that's your direction not fame but to make change.

So we have direction and position proving RAP can be thought as a lyrical MAP

This cough is a reminder of a renewed addiction to take stead until a new one comes along.

These scars are a reminder of how strong I can be,but how weak I was.

This callus which pumps away in my body is a reminder of how dangerous yet fleeting "love" is.

These dry cheeks are a reminder of how many tears I have shed for friend and foe, blurred by the gleam in my eyes.

This tremble is a reminder of how plagued by anxiety I am, Why? I won't know till it's too late.

These pictures are a reminder of how many of who I see are not with me now , taken away by time or ,most often, by death.

This ache only reminds me why I envy them so.

These memory's serve as a reminder of my mistakes in this life ,and oh how they disappoint me.

This poem is a reminder of why I've done what I'm doing.

Now please don't forget me.

Glass dome full Of sticks,
stones grown in a broken home.
Windows; mirrors cracked

‪petty and selfish,‬
‪The path to peace, no recourse.‬
‪I have no remorse.‬

Why does it linger
open wounds with out care rot
So let it fester.

We desire the things that will destroy us in the end

It's funny how we protect those who hurt us I think it's because we think there constantly trying to change that imperfection we have with in us how ironic

They told me it would be fun I wouldn't ever forget the feeling, this feeling, they said I'd be cool if I did it, and how I feel cool  the cold night air as soft as cotton when it touches my skin but as sharp as knives as the cool cuts to the bone I can see every thing clear as day as if the sun was at my back showing me a new perspective I think that's why I can see the stars shiny behind the thick clouds. I can almost hear them whisper their singing heavenly tunes with the rushing river playing percussion with the river rocks which drummed and the claps of the rips which match every color I've ever seen even the new ones in front of me

i feel like i could fly and belive me i tried every time i landed the grass under my bare cold feet were having tickle  fights with my toes there rugged wet tips almost like a dogs tounge licked and my soles they were winning, I the meekest of the meek was now the king of all I Survey and as I watched my kingdom of color, shape and sound they started to take shape of my "friends" all laughing with tears in there eyes I thought it was another one of my renditions of how I perceive things them seemed so real I could almost feel their breaths as they laughed even more hysterically their laughter seemed to shack me to my core so I called out to ask what was the joke

the sky spits at me with great disgust I want to ask why but I could not hear my self over the now screams of my "friends" they matched the screams of banshies and nails on a chalk board I mixture of millions of off pitch  piano keys I was In pain a pain I had never experienced before it was every were on my body no fixed place no origin site but raw utter pain I held with all my might it still was no competition for there screeches, I wanted so much to rip off my ears but befor I could for a brief moment i felt at peace one with all and all in me then every thing went black no songs now vivid colors no feeling of anything just darkness then when I woke I saw a bright light took me a second to realize I was back to normal the sun was up but it did not greet me the grass was cool but it didn't fight I felt lonely I check my phone for any massages,

"how was it""do you want more" I  thought about all the hell I went through all the pain I felt then I remembered that feeling I wanted to feel it again no I needed to feel it again so with out a second thought I answered "yes"  it's funny how we want what will destroy us in the end it's just human nature

I choose detachment;
Excitement brings more distress,
It never brings peace.

I'm tired so very tired.
I can't believe when I was younger the thought of no sleep was a fun concept. How foolish

I didn't know about the anger fits
I didn't know about the paranoia
I didn't know about the depression
I didn't know about the memory loss
I didn't know about the voices
I didn't know about the visions

I've been awake for 5 days this week  in total last month i was awake for 2 weeks.
The micro sleeps come at the worst of times
I fear that at this rate I will reach psychosis with in the week my words no longer flow my thoughts are stuttered my relationships are under strain which only adds to the stress which keeps me awake

I've done every thing except ****** to aid me in my crusade what should I do?

Now you know it all
Now tell me what has changed?
Nothing ever does.

This is the grid a battle between you and yourself in your mind against time lets you know war isn't sublime but this is subliminal makes you think more critical about you, your hopes and dreams are yours narrow and straight like a beam or dose it twist and turn like a water stream shaping the world as it says fits remember greatness isn't a quick fix it's something you build every thing you Want is at your finger tips use them at will  now soar nothing to something even the greatest mountain starter at the floor so when you can't it's all in your head think of it as a ingot your the blacksmith the best steel goes through the harshest fire that's what's been said only by beatin at it keep on keeping on till it's a fit   To what you envisioned in your mind now refine and perfect it on the grind

Eyes deep and dark as if linked to the primordial abyss,
It was if you could see further than the blank faces of truths and lies
It was as if  you could clearly see what is and what is not, for you.

I see you.

Voice commanding attention like the horns of heavens army and as soothing as their zithers, your lips it's succulent strings.
How do you move so free fluid in design how you choose to love is invasive with no lines

So let me in

Skin smooth as molasses and ravagingly rich in flavor,  I would imagine, on my tongue.
Body as bountiful as the late harvest, your delicacies just as sweet
when your legs part  blessings flowing, falling miracles, from my chin to my feet;
ceremony, a Thanks giving for this decadent feast.

Get on the table

I crave your assortments curled up, laid down, bent over with all the sides
Greedy for the textures and scent like honey bees are magnolia.
Abundant as Gaia so I'll touch every corner like the sky,
the heat of our sol is ever high; in the still of the night I wish to bask in your moons light while I rise and conduct your tides.

Good times are savored not kept

A self, if I don't help , watering flower blooming how and when ever it sees fit.
Passion like the sun, radiant and all illuminating; like the moon on a still pond, while you seem grounded your true home is in the sky amongs the stars.

Behold my face, so serene, I'm every part of the scene;
the crucified, the prosecutor as well the chorus.
When I breath my chests cage shows gaps ,the focus.
Here you are again my parade of pestilence my imbalanced state showing as ailments.
My sides tearing, stress penetrating my skin. Tragic,
Oh how the spear of reproach entangles and dives deep,
Piercing my belly and lets it noxious poison seep.

I beg 'No please do not twist', he then spoke of my dying dreams and loses to the soul.
The knots bind my thought and any move in conciseness has it toll.
The darkness strives for my sight but he knows how to not give it room.
The poisoned tip barley nearly missed my heart , I thought it the end, I relaxed too soon.
The tincture of doubt burns my open sensitive soft non-flesh.
Am I not one of the blessed, where is my place of rest?

The jury spectate from its pedestal, good for nothin but blaming.
His aim was never my life only that which makes it worth living.
His aim was the spark, my soul, the light at the end of the tunnel showing it all, so you don't stay down when you fall.

The earth knows me from My hands, feet and knees.
I rarely pray only spoke if it preceded an action, I fell a lot you see.
Now I walk with caution but my legs can barely take the weight.
My breathing and steps were heavy. you wouldn't have know my pain by my face
This has been my truth I believed it fate.
Early I realized wherever I sat was a throne.
Hubris led me to take on the woes and faults of the world as if they were my own.

The jury clamor great hollow truths, to lessen the sentences existence.
As much as they are valid and grand I see them only as excuses
"You will pain those who you love and love you"
"You will forsake the hopes and dreams in your view"
"You are good, only want the best for everyone "
Was it that ambiguity that lead to my current "wrong"
Seems if you aim to give others happiness you will never win
I know this but I still hurt: it's all starts and ends within.

Woe is me

This is a new page.
Empty;Deep Love and woes fill;
The former is me?

I love your voice, I love your eyes.
I love your style and what it hids.
I love your hair so dark,so strong. relaxed, natural what matters most is who's it on.
I love your skin so soft and smooth. I know those scars are because of what you've put yourself through.
I love your smile, teeth as white as the moon. I'd love to see your true smile so rarely shown.
I love your spirit so free so strong.
I know in time you'll see here's where it belongs.

Lust, pain, depression, lose and love are my muse.
lust's passion which knows no bounds frees me.
pain's intensity and relentlessness push me.
Depression's depth, which out class even the sea, teaches me.
Lose like a loaded gun keeps focus and flashes what is important to me.
love with its fickle sway like a new flame ignites my page for all the world to see.
My muse are not new they are not uncommon they are rusted and jagged but they are the pillars on which all life and poetry now rests they guide us-
No they control us.

I make myself so happy for no reason then stick my own back,
melancholic acts of treason, cut and measure my own lesions;
a line between pleasure and pleasing.
Not an pessimist nor a type of optimist but a realist who has mastered the execution of delusion and illusion.
Oxymoronic, Guess I'm just human;

Apparently the semblance of a god,
so making something from nothing isn't odd,
but I was given everything from a soul to my bones, hair to my toes;
Even to me who stays in this, sinew and ivory, home the reason is unknown but I know the weight of this form has its toll.

Ties made are rarly cut
more than the material is used,
bonds spirt imbued,
that which feeds hate and love.
My soul is the ocean my form the soil my mind the heavens so it's wisdom guides the toil.
What I put on to my body will seep to the sea, be it poisons or ointments that is to be seen, my wish for foresight seems obscene,
a noxious tint colors the scene
Ah this is but a show, how else can I explain the tragedies sown.

Who wrote this play?
No
Who paid its commission,
who conscripted us to suffer, no need for permission, no fine print played off as a simple omission?
Actors with no access to backstage
so it is do or die,
freedom in a cage,
the 4th wall blocks our eyes.
we get no reactions for our performance
no real feedback,
so we face our troupe like opponents, for no real reason.
Whilst some seem to flourish in a limelight others perish in darkness
some disappear through trap doors others fly with out harness.

seasoned thespians sometimes show us a way; how to perform our parts, from when they entered the play.
We are told there is a script, so I would say some have forgotten thier lines
but honestly the script has never passed these eyes,
all I know is that somes voices are drowned out by the soundtracks of anxiety and sadness;
The polyrhythms of fear and deafening sound of loneliness and madness
How could the director have this?

That's the purpose of a tragedy; make the watcher feel like they are living lavishly.

Wanted a reason why I find it so tragic.

In the words of Life 'There, you have it.'

As the rain falls gilded Hearts are tempered. They fell together but crashed apart
Soft nothings out of reach to pamper
The drops fed my hunger but never filled my heart. That's a lie told by anger the last line.
The waters yielded flowers beautiful but weak to time
Though they bare fruit and seeds without roots it can never last as do trees
We are the soil for our love and enjoyment
We are the plow of our perseverance and faith
We are our beasts of burden and sacrifice

I'm sure I heard it
Did you ?
The snap or was it a clap
Can't tell it's been too distorted and echoed around my empty soul
Or rather this husk of what I used to feel: the love the triumph the passion the validation .

Now I'm sure I heard it or was it you clicking and praising my words yeah maybe that's what I heard no I can feel the sinking this hole in my chest I can't listen to my heart it's voice has be laid to rest six feet is quiet a feat.

There it is again
no that was just a ding for an idea or a notion pleading to me to take action but this is a fallacy, a distraction
I'm ignoring the signs to busy thinking what is mine rather then keeping what was mine now I'm left with nothing

ahh

There it is, that distinctive ring

listen...

The timbre is right I can hear the angels sing.
this cold unloving content or is it fury I can't know surely but this time, this time.. I heard the snap of my mind

It sounded like click  . clack . **bang

The rain which gives life to the planet
The wind that caresses my face can change our world, can't it?

The laughter of a child so pure and untainted
Warms any heart puts a smile  on my face for once not painted

The birds and the insects composing the symphonies of the night
They work tirelessly from dust to first light

The sound of a heart beat so easily looked over
Is most comforting when with a lover

The suns bright rays that brighten our darkest days
Reminds us that patience is a virtue and waiting does pay

Ink on paper or bits of data, So simple so small are these things
But change are all they bring

The smallest things can make a change
From poverty to aristocracy, love to hate, loneliness to solitude, peace to pain

My thought is that down to the most basic of things we are all the same

Why do I feel so empty
I have what most dream of but I feel hollow
I'm trying to see in to myself it's like looking through a hole for a key
I think it's locked me out sorrow
Because if I don't know what's making me sad
It will only bring more sorrow
It's self presavation and I can't get mad
It's my self that put me in this position
I get so angery to know I hold the key
Me and my inner me are in a Juxtaposition
But the bottom line is its all on me
Cause I'm a result of every thing I've thought
And all I'm thinking is I'm alone
But its something that life had taught ,me
That I am alone
I have been forced to distrust on sight
I must see your true colors in that light
I would like to know  that it's alright
I think "can I trust ?""you just might"
To put what little faith I have in to someone
And that faith is abuse from day one
Or two Or three
I think "there playing you can't you see "
"shut up you always do this,
no matter who I'm with "
"I do it for your welfare,
I must make you know no one cares"
"But this one might let's give them a chance"
"***** what you saying" I didn't even take a stand it fueled my like a lance
I thought he was right no one pays thought to my story
And the ones who do leave in a hurry
I'm so lonely

Do not mistake my calm demeanor for indifference.
I act this way for your sake.
I act this way to keep others strong.
Ha. truthfully I act this way so I don't break .
Because if I let down this facade this wall of false confidence and blinded faults my cap will pop all my bottled emotions a suffocated dreams that I convinced myself I had buried will surface in all there pitiful glory.

Do not confuse my Belligerent tone for anger.
I'm speaking this way because I'm ashamed .
I'm speaking this way to hide my weakness.
The bigger the bark the smaller the bite right?
So if I shout louder with even more malice in my voice it won't hurt as bad.

Do not assume my placebo is a truth.
I see what I believe and relate to what I don't.
I lie to soften the blunt force of a whole truth .
I cry these crocodile tears to hide my true sorrow .

You can't believe every thing you hear but all you see right?
So I'm happy because all you see is a smile so I guess you are too happy that is.

I can read you like a book,
A deep gaze in to your pretty brown eyes is all it took.
They're the windows to the soul after all
And yours left mine enthralled
That Much beauty in such little space?
You move irrespectively through the world at your own pace.
I'm sure you've heard it before but,
your smile brightens a room
You look my way again, I try not to loom.
If I could I would but I don't think I should.
Confess,
What would I have if I lost my dream?
What if my idea of you is all a want...
Yes that's it I don't love you.
Just the idea of you,
I'm content with that ...

Ha such a fallacy.

I am a boy who doesn't know the worth of a dollar

I play my part.

I am a friend who is there for his even if they don't know

I play my part.

I am a lover who knows how to lift your spirt even when the love is only shared by me

I play my part.

I am a console to those who think they are alone

I play my part.

I am an ingrate who doesn't appreciate the sacrifices you have made

I play my part.

I am a smile that hides the sadness on the other side

I play my part.

I am the one who listens even when no words are spoken

I play my part.

I am a hypocrite who preaches but rarely practices

I play my part.

I know what I want and never what I need

I play my part.

I am who I am so no one can say I am worthless because,
I play my part.

As I sway out of the fray and check if she's ok, "bae?" All she can say is "hey",
We reach for the ash tray we've lost our way I have a smile on my face which happiness betrays because W.A.Y.
eyes so low I Could be Stevie or Ray you can decide after you've heard me play. Allow my notes in your ear like sweet nothings, I run my fingers through your hair as I smell you in the air and taste you on my lips as we are lip to lip...
have a lil sip of this lean woh slow down don't be so keen if you know what I mean these words aren't twisted you don't need to be gifted not even lifted to get the picture but some can't relate ukuva?
let me skip this bit even though it was anything but quick. She lays on my chest as I knead her ******* eyes of earth and emerald stares burning me like embers lets me remember I'm not in Oz or the land of OOH we just chilling like the weather in May in my room what can I say but W.A.Y.

A
        ghost, ghoul and demon
live where my
        trust,love and happiness
used to be, their names are
        past,present and future.

You guided me, you showed me a world different from the plain I had existed in,
You showed me my own twisted and tormented visage.
 
Sensei you were my light, your radiance was blinding,

But I saw it,

The abyss you left in your wake the ones left with no way to see,
Their eyes left useless,
their steps chaotic,
their hearts empty,
their minds in ruin.

Sensei this was your art.

Thisis is my name and now this is my domain

This is where I am king.

Sensei why do you look so pained?

Am I still alive, or is this all just memories?
Am I on my death bed,looking back at at my misadventures and fallacies?
Am I slipping in to the abyss, are these my last thoughts?
Is this my pinnacle, did I ever learn what I have been taught?
Did I live the life I hoped for and envisioned,
Or have I lived a life full of regrets because of my decisions?
Did I find love or did I wallow in hate?
Did I practice what I preach and fight against what people call "fate",
Or did I submit to my anxiety and fears?
I can't help but wonder is this ink so wet because of all my future tears?...
I'll wait and see and what is Ment to be will be, if it suits me.
But I'll have to wait and see

I am here because of you
I have been able to Expirience this world because of you two
And I am thankful for this
But you done so much more here's a short list
You've been a pillar that's always there and even when you are mad I know you care.
You've shown me how to act and shown me I don't know all the facts.
When I see you two what I perceive Is a wish, a dream I hope to ,one day, achieve.
you've shown me to keep my composure in life, keep strong when things seems strife because it is with in my power to make it right.
You've given me goals to reach and it won't be easy you see,
but I'll make you proud if I get knocked down I'll get right back on my feet because that's what you have taught me.
You've given me more then I can explain in words, to think I could even scrap the top was quiet absurd but I just needed to show I appreciate what you have done so this is a kind of thank you letter from your eldest son.