There is no hope in death.
It is absolute.
You try so hard to figure it out but you can’t,
all you can do is live, continuing to breathe.

There is nothing to feel guilty for, because nobody is there anymore.
We are warm and they are cold,
angry at this for happening at all.
Whistling to the wind,
all around is dark,
your grief is like shrieking into an empty room.

You can’t warm their shivers,
and guilt will always follow your happiness from now on.
There’s nothing to fight for anymore.
They are gone.
They are gone.

The universe is a being, it’s goal is to change.
We are the cells living within it it’s body,
cells within cells,
Within cells,
Within.
What does the universe live within?
And where is it being taken?

Nothing is supposed to last.
The most colourfully electric feelings are supposed to flow through us and only be remembered in afterglow.
Then we can prepare for the new,
the alternative is trying to clasp the lightning bolts inside us that inevitably slip through our fingers.
Leaving us blindly clasping onto nothing yet terrified to let it go,
and in the distraction hauntingly missing,
the most glorious moments of our lives.

Trying to tell the story of my fantasies, and convey the feelings in my mind,
were you just young or is there something in you that’s waiting for me as much as I’m waiting for you?
I need to know.

You were in a red seat in my home town,
I wish I could be there with you, we could be kings.

I get this feeling when I think of where I’ve been and where I am,
I want another chance to make it last forever.
Nostalgia, bare smiles and bare laughter.
Innocence and freedom,
blank canvases full of individuality all eventually smeared with the same mundane uniformity.

**** how hard you work,
It’s never gonna happen,
Just give up now, baby.

One minute I hate you and the next I feel guilty,

I know I’m distracted, lazy and frustrated.

I’m not sitting comfortably but I know that I’m not an unhappy person,

I’m just so conditioned to not play, to quiet, temper and dilute myself.

Until I fit in so well,

that you can’t see me at all.

Whether you love it or not,
you have to move on at some point.
Only then the memories hit you and the feelings come back,
you can smell the thoughts you used to have and the way you used to be,
what we're gonna do next still scares me.

By speed and deed I won’t ever forget you,
I still look for solidarity from each and every one of you.
It’s special what we went through, I miss you.

How can the sky still look the same as it always has if I'm older, and it's an even deeper shade of blue.
Years later,
on my own,
fast flashes of memories of when we just couldn’t stop laughing,
and suddenly my heart’s truly broken.