The earth is
Dying of old age
But if it’s me,
That dies first,
Hopefully I get
To enjoy what I’ve
Enjoyed in its
Presence.

The warm and tenderness
Of unconditional love,
Or the passion behind
Nerudas words,
Maybe swim in the transparency
Of the freezing rivers
That embark their journey
On the vertebrae of that
Shackled Island
That I used to call home.

If it’s me that dies first,
Don’t let those who
Speak my name see
What I have become,
Let them remember me
For who I was,
Hollowed eyes,
From restless nights,
The incoherencies
That I speak,
The laughs that
Surround me,
Echoing until
Eternity ain’t eternal
Anymore.

When it’s me that dies first,
Take me back
to where I was born
Bury me under the sapling
Of a flamboyán tree,
Love and care as much
Maybe more than you have,
Watch me reborn, grow,
Become magnificent
Dressed in orange reds
And greens.

Finally, carve unto me
The words that I’ve written,
watch me grow old
like I did life’s ago
And forget about me.

I haven’t cried sad in a long time,
I’ve dipped my feet in the vast
Sadness of my heart, but I’ve
Never dared jump

And it’s starting to show,
In the way I talk, in the dark
Crevices underneath my eyes,
On my shoulders

When will it be that the heavens
play their trumpets in my name,
And let me blessed with rain showers
That washes the dirt off my soul.

Let me be touched by the
Never ending cycle,
Let me hide underneath
The shadow of the clouds.

Let me forget my heart in the
Puddles of water,
Let it be picked up by gentler hands
and cared for again.

It’s 7:46 Am
On a Saturday,
I’m sitting
in my car
in front
of an urgent care
that opens
around 9:00 Am,
I can feel the left
Side of my face swelling
Up as my gums bleed
Through my teeth
Creating puddles
Of iron in the back
Of my tongue,
I connect my phone
To the radio,
And play the song
That has been stuck
On my mind
For the past few months,
That and the Tylenol
Ease the pain until
They open the doors,
I walk in fast,
Almost breaking down
The glass that fills
In the windows,
The lady at the counter
Notices the bags
Underneath my eyes
From the lack of sleep,
She asks for an emergency
Contact, my face betrays
Me as my eyes widen,
While I think of what to
Say the pain comes back.

I woke up today,
And I’ve learned
That I love like the wind
Does, or like a slowly
Sparked camp fire
That stays lit long enough
For the night not to feel
So cold.

I would throw logs
To spark the fire,
Let it burn through
Ashes and smoke,
I’ll sing ballads
And watch the
Flames slow
Dance to the tune
The breeze whistles
Through the trees
And the tall grass

Let’s sit near,
Enjoy the warm,
Be with me,
Enjoy the shadows
Strolling through,
Hopping and jumping
Through hoops,
Let me lean over
Close to you.

Let my arms
Feather fall
Around your waist,
Put your hand
Closer to the flame,
Let the burn
Mark your skin,
And let it bubble
Into passion
As the stars
Observe and judge,
Asking if this is
Truly love
In the end.

I realize two things
As I’m walking down
Memorial city mall,
I remember every
Corner store,
Every turn and
Candy store,
I remember my
Legs trembling
Through multitude
Of people walking
Down the enormous
Open hall, nervous,
Holding tight onto
The hands of
A lost love,
As my insides
Twisted and turned,
My mind clutters
Like the house
Of a hoarder who’s
Passion is collecting
Misfortune and bad
Decisions,
Also, there’s no Barnes
And noble in here,
How unfortunate.

Amongst the sound
Of the rain hitting
The metal canopy
That covers the cars,
I can distinctly
Hear the horn
Of a train,
Everything else
Comes with imagination,
The wheels hitting
The track,
The wagons shaking
And roaring through
The intense rain
That floods the streets
And makes me feel
Nostalgic.

My thoughts scramble
And dig and dig
Until they reach
My skull where they bump
The shovel and Grit
Their teeth.

It’s so gory,
There’s never a winning side,
The winters find a way
To stay 1 or two more days

In spring the rivers run
Off their course and
The flowers turn
Into pollen machines.

In fall the leafs
Dance with the wind
off the trees
All at once

And oh god,
The summer sun
Melts puddles into
My shirts

But you know
I can see some romance
In love

And how hugs
Feel like being wrapped
Around the mantle
Of the earth,

And water drips
From their lips
And i, lost.
With closed eyes,

Like a vagabond,
I’ll plead and beg
Through the traces
That fall in between
Your jaw and your cheeks

Just to pull out
As eyes interlock,
No words spoken
But so much said.

I have not allowed
Myself to be near
Real windows,
Not because
I’m scared of what
I would do,
But because I’m
Always drunk or high
And I could tumble
My way off a 5th
Floor by accident,
Or I could stare
Deeply into the crowd,
People. People. People.
So many walking fast,
Others holding hands,
The sky is falling,
I wish I could open
This window so
I can warn them,

But I am so tired.

I would like
To close my eyes
While I lay on your
Thighs and your hands
Knock on the door
And make themselves
At home while
Playing with my hair,
And I for the first
Time in what feels
Like forever,
Sleep and dream
Of love
And what ifs,
Until the morning sun
Comes through
shading in
The night
And I’m back
To being too
Scared of windows.

The bird sings
To the sun
Acclamations
As it prays
And builds
Itself a nest,
He then flies
Through the trees
And around
the branches
Like a circus
gymnast
Dressed in
tight colors
Just to dive up
Around the sea
Of Leafs until
He finds himself
Souring through
The clouds,
Close enough
To the sunset,
Praising the
Tints of orange
And reds
Running through
What we
could call
Personified life,
He then
sings again,
One last
time for the day,
Before twilight
Reigns the sky
With constellations
Of stars that are too
Far to hear the singing
Or the crying or
The laughter.

The sun sets
Right as the many
Steps that I’ve taken
Have gotten me so close

And now I’m begging,
Laying on the side
In a room that
Screams profanities

While the moonlight
Creeps through
The blinds
Splashing the
Color of the furniture
Against the walls,

The browns,
      The reds,
The greens,
      The oranges,

Oh I can feel
My body dipped
In ink, weighed
Down like a
Branch full of leafs
Or
A shackle that ties
Itself around my veins
Or
Maybe my stomach
Is full of stones,
Or
My heart has grown cold.


For the love of god,
Please,
            PLEASE,
                         PLEASE!

Let
me
find
peace.

The waves calm
As they can be,

The silhouette
Of a woman

Reflecting
Celestial beings

Upon her skin,
Matching the tides

With the wet sand,
Covering foot prints

That got bigger
and bigger

The more
I circled around,

Now I float
Towards the horizon,

Feeling better than I
Did yesterday,

Watching the stars
Fall out of the sky

In the evenings
Of a month

I’ve learned to
Stop counting,

I would drink
If I had a drink,

I would smoke
If I had a smoke,

I would love,
If I had someone
to love.

And slip through
The crevices,

Through corals
And tropical fish,

The light feels
Warmer down her,

Maybe,
    I am okay
           After all.

As I sit
In the middle
Of a blunt
Rotation

I lean back on
The chair
As the birds
Fly by,

The sun filters
Through the
Leafs of an
Oak,

“What is it
That you guys
Say again?”
“Puñeta”

Everyone erupts
Simultaneously,
“Puñeta!”
And we laugh.

a corona gets
Passed from hand
to hand
And I watch

This salvadorian
Make a perfect
Puerto Rican
Impression

That for a second
Got me at the edge
Of my seat
Holding on

Onto the arms rest,
Sobered up my high
And made me feel
Like I was sitting

Back home
At the edge of
The bottom
Bed

Of my friends
Bunkbeds,
I laugh and
Take a swig

Off the cold
Bottle and wonder
Why it tastes
So bitter sweet.

The clouds look
Just right today

In between yellow
Green branches

And parking lot
Light posts

The people coming
Out of the garden center

Hop on one leg
And feel the breeze

Upon their hair while
Gently caressing their face

I look at the sky again,
From the windows

Of my small hatchback
With my feet out,

The sun upon my skin,
And a lit cigarette

On my left hand, while
I write this on my right

And I think and think
And think and think,

While reading “time is
A mother” by vuong

I don’t have much time,
I have to clock in again.

The universe
Will speak to you,
In between silence
And forgotten words,
In the movement of
The branches of a
Full crowned tree,
In rushing water
And the color
Of the sky,
It will answer
Questions,
With rays of sunshine
That mark your skin,
Love the Forrest,
And the mountains,
And the ants,
And the spiders,
All the creepy crawlies,
And animals,
Smell the flowers that
Bloom this spring,
Feel the rash,
The bite,
The sting,
They all deserve
To be happy.

We all do.

I walk by the street,
Evading the lines
On the sidewalk,
I noticed a guy
Working on his car,
The same way I’ve noticed
Him for the past 3 days,
I jump over four leafs
Clovers and open
The doors to the
Corner store,
I grab my usual,
A watermelon
Arizona,
Then I walk up
To the counter
And ask for a
Pack of camels 99,
A look of glee
Reflecting on
The glass that
Protects the
Cashier,
I walk back outside,
The sun beaming
Bright yellow
Through rain
Clouds that are starting
To dissipate,
The same guy,
Now sleeping in his car,
I wonder,
Where will it
All take us?

It’s April again.
And now
the bulbs have
Sprouted tulips

And the smell of
Hyacinths wreaks
Havoc upon the
Butterflies and
The bees that are
Coming out of hiding,

And the mountains
Are wearing color,
While the rivers
Become their shoes,
Flamboyan trees
And hibiscus ties
The laces.

The spring rain
Have baptized me
And washed the
Dirt off my face,
As my hands are
Buried deep in the
Soil of another day.

As I stand there in the isle
besides the bottles of detergent

That I entered knowingly
that you were there

As if a spotlight runs behind
your every step shining light

That evaporates the
humidity and discomfort,

I still have to pretend to be
Someone to be able to

Strike up a conversation,
It flows and shapes

Around my tongue,
That dances a tune

I wish for you to hold
Very dear,

And then I slide away
On the concrete floor

Not as dark as it used to be,
As I think to myself,

If not now,
Then when?

As the river formed
By the rain
Creates casualties
Through the creaks
Of the streets

And the birds
Swoop down
From the clouds
To have a drink
From the new
Source of life
That has sprouted,
Purified by
the indigestion
Of the planet,

I find myself
Thinking past
the thoughts
And contemplating
Upon the never ending
Spiral that sits
On my kitchen table,
Rotting with time,
Not being able to move
As if it glued itself
Unto the wood,
Obsessed with
Making me roam
Around the room,
Turning it into
My own personal
Psych ward.

What a way to live
In this age.

The cloudy night sky
Didn’t let me see the stars today
It was just me and the moon
Enjoying our time together
Being more than just friends
Being less than, anything else.

The unobtainable moon,
Chatting with a mere poet
That doesn’t know
where he’s stands
Between himself and her,

What does he seek?
What does he want?

He doesn’t know,
It doesn’t know
where or why
Or how,
He just knows
That he doesn’t know

And that time will tell,

In different ways

Life will answer him,
What he’s been
screaming to the moon

All those years.

I think back
To those moments
Where you can grab
The rays of sunshine
That rarely come through
The clouds of a week
Of rain.

Or the blankets feel
Like the hugs of
A past lover,
Compassionate,
Like the ever haunting
Weight of the person
You truly loved.

And the night
Serves as a companion
As you gaze up
To the stars,
Wondering if they
Ever feel the need
To gaze back.

The skeleton of the trees
have gotten their color back,
The cats play among
The fallen leafs,
All while a hand grips
And holds tight unto
My chest.

I’m waiting for the night
To show it true colors,
So I can feel at peace,
And let go.

As I dwell in the
Depths of a high,
Valleys of passion
And the wishes
Of being someone
take over,
The ceiling of
My bedroom
Open up
As if it was
A baseball stadium
On a sunny day,
Just so I can have
A smoke in the comfort
Of my own bed,
I lay in the ashes
Cursed with
the past,
The present,
the future.

I wonder why
Your hair is
Always covered,
But not enough
For me not to see
A part where
The back
Of my fingers
Could gently
Caress as
It curls around
Them like
Mandevilla,
They can
Make themselves
At home,
And grow a
Garden covering
My arms
And protect me
Against the
Sunshine
That tans
And burns
My skin.

Have I lost you,
In the cardinal
winds?

Has it lifted you,
Far from where
We are?

When I used to think
About my dad,
Not much came up,
But I remember
Getting excited,
Every time my mom
Picked up the phone
And it was my him,
On the other line,
Asking when he
Can pick me up,
Scheming for
A good time

It felt almost like
A school trip,
On those yellow
Trucks without
Ac but a stereo
System that would
Shake the windows
Of the new houses
I get to see.

Always an adventure,
Always something new
To experience,
Always good.

It’s as if the bad
Was concealed
Behind the curtain
That just closed up
The actors of a
Very corny drama,

It was hard to come
To him in times of need,
Always working,
Always busy,
Always in love,
Always living a life,

But lately,
He has been helping
Me kick stones out
Of my path.

“Necesitas algo”

“Estás bien mi niño””

“Si tú eres mi hijo,
Esto es lo que va pasar”

If you are my son,
He says.

I fall down from exhaustion,
And accept his apology.

The window blinds
Open for the
First time since
I’ve been living here,
A potted plant
Shadows the
Streets during
The night
And during
The day it
Hugs the walls
Tight.

A figure walks down
The rooms,
Gliding as if
She was ice skating
Across the carpeted
Floors.

I’m sitting across,
Smoking,
Watching
The shadows swim
Through the
Washed down
Windows,

Tones of a home
Can be seen,
I wonder what
Goes on inside.

I found you
In my skin,
Rushing through
Like blood of a
Fresh cut that is
Bound to heal,
as the trees
Gently extend
Their hand
for the wind
That just asked
them for a dance,
I tremble among
The branches,
Ignored
Behind every
Leaf of a
Flourishing tree

Oh, my everything,
How my heart
Has been forgotten,
Waiting to be claimed
And hold you
By the waist,
Pull you close
Enough for only
The space in between
The words and the
Light of the moon
To go in between us,

But the rivers
Did not form,
It wasn’t enough rain,
And I remain,
Like a small tower
That falls apart
With time,
Devoured by the
Fauna,
Even if it falls,
I’ll still remain,
Like unending
Light,
Or cave windows
That open to
A valley of gold
Covered by
Bougainvillea
Shrubs,
With a chilling
breeze to
Keep me company.

Es tanto,
Lo que eh callado,
Muchos espacios
Entre palabras
Que bajan
Las nubes a tus
Pies para
Acolchonar el
Piso que caminas,
Y con un bulto
De rayos de sol,
Camino para
Cuando tus dias
Caigan desvelados
Y la noche mucho
Más oscura de lo normal
Esconda tu sonrisa
Entre las sombras
Y la angustia
Abrirlo y alegrarte
Con la calor de
Un sábado
En donde las
Lluvias descansan
Y los pájaros cantan
Entre la gente
Libre de un día
Más de trabajo.

If I had one wish,
Just one,
It would be
To be eternal,
Immortal,
Soaking in
Life as I play
With the water
And drink
From the fountain
Of youth
That with one
Sip pulls back
My skin and
Opens my
Arteries all
While the
Forrest inside
My lungs oxygenates
And purifies
The atmosphere,
I hope I learn to
Forgive myself,
That I will be
Reborn with
Some discipline,
An undying wouldn’t
Dare be tormented
And punished,
He would love,
Unbranded,
Unconditional,
The type of love
That teaches you
How to live,
oh, to feel
That type
Of love again
In between
War and plague,
And death,
That now walks
Attached to the hip,
Of someone that
Has learned to let go.

I moved a lot when I was a kid,
5 different Houses in the midst
of humid heat, and if I could
Open each door one by one
With bronze, silver and second hand
Keys, i don’t know which one
I could call home.

My first house,
Built tall in wood, a two story
Without the first floor
Or a tree house without the tree,
The curving stairs left so many,
Bruises on my legs and arms,
But still it would call to me,
I would fall asleep in other
Peoples houses and I would
Wake up, amazed at the embrace,
Of those wooden walls
And creaking floors.

I remember moving down
The street to my second home,
Deeper into the barrio,
My uncle and his friend
Carried my swing set,
And my mom walked in
Front with trails of fire adorning
Her feet, and a look in her
Eyes screamed “so one,
Help me please”

Finally, with sweat rolling
Down my chin under
The glaring sun,I notice
A Frankenstein of a house
That hid behind quenepa trees,
The fence was crooked,
The gate scraped the concrete
Floor, a hollow concrete
House with so much to tell,
But so little to show,
The gloominess and despair,
Inherited from my mom
Followed me from there on.

The third house was short lived,
How can a house full of people
Be so empty inside,
But it would smell like coffee
During the day and during the night,
With a cigarette blanket in the back,
And bbq weekends when the rain
Didn’t bother to show up,
I saw waterfalls rush my moms
Eyes on cold morning calls,
And quiet rides,
The silence was deafening,
As if it ran through the open
Windows with knifes
Trying to take us off the
Road into the river
That flowed underneath
The highway on my way to school.

I wasn’t there much in my fourth
And fifth house, time passed
Faster when I wasn’t inside,
And when I was the ceiling,
Melted into the sky,
Letting the stars shine
Through, giving me
A little taste of outside.

In between everything,
And everyone,
I didn’t realize how
Much of myself I left behind.

The trees grow
And will keep
Growing old,
The minutes pass
Through them
Dying off at
61 seconds
Like a stem
Of bundled
Up geraniums
That waited
for the cold
To pass,
A corpse murdered,
Leaving only the
Skeleton of what
Was once loved,
Motionless with age,
And then comes the rain,
Washing away
Spilled blood,
Silence, rain,
Turning the ground
Into stone,
Where a river will
Run through,
Waving life
As butterflies emerge
From their cocoons,
Natural, a sign,
Like the light
That shines upon
The moon and
the moon shines
Upon us,
So much fog
Will dim it
So much
Like smoke
Breaking loose
From a fire,
In the woods
Nothing is certain
But the man living,
And eating,
And smiling,
Noticing that
The trees
Eat time.

As I drive back
from Beaumont
After almost
Getting scammed,
Me an my friend
Start Laughing
Uncontrollably at
The events
that unfolded,
To our right over
The barricades
Of the highway
and behind
The Minute Maid
Stadium,
A multitude
of skyscrapers
Stand like
well dressed
Business men
Wearing the sky
Like an
elegant hat,
Suddenly
They part
Ways for
the highway,
Glaring the
Suns shine
On each blue
Tinted window
Like a wave
Frozen in place,
Waiting to
burst against
The busy
people driving
Home or
maybe to work,
So many
and so busy
That the crowd
starts to
Grow and
the car stops,
I put on some music
For the wait and
Find comfort in a
City I thought
Once cursed.

Why don’t we sit together
To enjoy the sounds of the city,
Like moss on a rock
Watching dragonflies
Fly by as their
Wings gently caresses
The maga flower that
Hangs down their petals
Upon the shadow
Of a colossal tree
Who’s trunk has grown
Wrinkled with age,
how tall
Does he Stand,
Majestic as skyscrapers
That blend into the night
Sky with lit windows
As stars that shine
A spotlight upon the streets,
I can only see it on you,
My love that in between
Sitting quietly,
Throws glances at me
Like daggers against
A target dummy,
Followed by a smile
That stitches these
Wide and deep wounds.

The sun has come up,
Behind well watered trees

With that bright yellow
warm that it brings

I look outside my window,
From the opened blinds

That I leave for my cats to look
Out into the world

And sunbathe in pure light
While waiting for squirrels

A glimpse of peace flows
into me and out of me

I won’t remember this moment,
Insignificant as it is

It still means that I am here,
On a sunny morning

Where I don’t have to work,
Or do chores

The mountains are still
Wearing the horizon

The rivers are still
Marching down their backs

February is rolling
Around the corner

After that the wind
Will sing in March

I’m no longer sure
What’s important

All I know is that
This peace won’t last.

I started to notice the walls
In my room again,
Empty,
Painted in white,
I wonder if peace lilies
Would compliment
The agony and anguish,
Or if I sit in the middle
Of the room,
As quiet and still
As a Lotus flower,
Delirious and vacant,
Will thoughts of letting go
Pass through my nervous
system and out of my body,
I look at my finger nails,
They have come from a
Place of war and anger
And love and trials,
Where would I be with them?

Vengo de Ríos
Que no explican
De donde vienen
Ni a donde irán,
Vengo de playas
Donde la arena
Vio huellas
Que rencorosas
Aguas esconden
Entre olas,
Pero allí siempre estarán,
Vengo de carreteras
Blindadas con
Árboles de Aguacates
y las guanábanas que
No caen se pudren
Entre las hojas que no
Marchitan,
Vengo del olor
Que trae el ojo
Del huracán,
Calma entre tormenta,
Una pura realidad,
Y traeré todo esto
Conmigo,
En un bulto donde
Guardo nostalgia
Y melancolía,
Tu nombre allí
También está,
Y aunque viva
En pueblo
O en ciudad,
Esa isla bendita,
Isla del encanto,
Mi borinquen,
Como huella en
Arena de una playa
Sin colonizar,
En mi corazón a
Dejado mucho que contar.

tonight the moon
shares her glare with us,
Giving us permission to look,
Blushing light,
Dimmed among
The constellations
That surround the
High ceiling above our heads,
But bright enough to
Be able to see the
Smile on your face,
Sadly I sit alone today,
Like I’ve sat for the
Past seven to eight months,
I’ve learned to enjoy
Moments like this,
I say alone,
But I share the night,
With the moon
And the stars
And the trees
And open lit
Windows,
I finish my cigarette,
With a last smoke
That seems to triple
In size because
Of how cold it is,
And I run inside
To the warm
And my cats
That lay with me
On this beautiful night.

As I drive besides
The bayou,
Under cold
Plagued trees,
Thoughts of swinging hammocks
In the midst of humid heat
Pushes through
every other thought,
Francisco swings on the
Second hammock
That sits a little deeper
Into the the skeleton
Of a concrete house
That begs to be built,
Abandoned but not,
He’s probably high
Off his mind,
Classes are passing by,
The moment was now,
And what a way to
Spend it.

Are you happy Sisyphus?
Do you ever think
Of the end?
Do you miss the ones
You loved,
And the ones
That loved you?
Do you wonder,
Of the flowers that
Grow to your right
Or maybe your left?
Is it truly fulfilling
To push and push
Just to start all
Over again when you get
That little feeling in your chest?
butterflies of content,
False hope that always
Let’s you down,
Not slowly, or with care.
But abrupt and so full
Of disappointment.
I’d dare think of you
As a happy man,
Camus thought that
The struggle itself
Was enough to fill
A man’s heart,
But I stand here
Holding unto my
Door frame
As the wind howls
And tangoes across
The empty street,
Blowing the leaves
Of a seasons past
Trying to hold unto
My feet.
How can I find happiness
In struggle Sisyphus,
Will it always be like this?
Im too curious,
Too distracted,
Too ready for the end,
Oh, I can’t wait for all
Of this to end,
Maybe then I’ll see,
That as my fingers latch
And my body flails,
There always has been
A smile on my face.

I find myself lost for words
Every time that I stand in front
Of you,

I can feel my eyes looking for
Yours getting disoriented along
the way, eye contact has
never been my
Strong suit,

As I see the walls close in on us,
I can feel all that I’ve been wanting
To say get stuck on the roof of my mouth,
Creating a sky with stars that burns
A hole through,

In the few years that I’ve lived,
I’ve never been a talker,
But I think of all the ways
I would tell you how
The way you walk away,
Leaves me craving that you
Would turn around and give
Me a little more of your time,
Precious, I’m lost in what
I should have said,

In the space in between your steps,
In the way your hair curls and drips
Down your shoulders putting
Down a blanket where I could lay,
I find myself caged,
Bound to the bars by ball and chain,
Wishing that these words would
Find their way to you,
To let you know how
You make me feel
On a day to day.

To you,
How much city
Do you need,
How much hunger
Will suffice,
You have feet
That will walk,
You have hands
That will do,
A voice that echoes
Through the shining lights,
And ears that could listen
To the beat of the stars
That shine above
The sky scrapers,
The city will bring
Spring and summer,
So dress in color
Since today the wind
Was born among
The rain that puddles
The streets.
laugh, crying will
Bring so much cold,
More cold than forgetting
To live.
And I will laugh with you,
Parked outside a diner
On a rainy day.
It doesn’t seem that cold
Today my friend,
The roots of the trees
With fallen leaves
Are healthy,
Waiting to flourish again.
Oh, how much city we have,
So much thirst.