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Kellin Jul 2020
My knuckles turn white from holding onto a foraged memory of an existence of what we used to call hope and it will shout into the void, echos of shadows that dance in the back of my brain that circumstance could not fore see that picture of us hanging from inside a two story house somewhere lost in rural California where white lace suffocated your skin and red silk flowed over the scars of my past lovers there is a smile that is shown under neath a cascade of fabric which displays a world in which you to could have wanted that white picked fence in the home we built in our dreams but reality is like a hurricane and eases all the evidence of what was once love
Kellin Aug 2020
I wanted her
She wanted me
We both wanted each other
But......
Kellin Jan 2022
I know I'll write poems about you long after you're gone

I'll dream about your hands when mine are withered and creased

But I'll hold you while you're here and embrace the time we have
Kellin Jul 2014
The flames never settled
You just joined my inferno
I'm sorry.
Kellin Apr 2018
My eyes have become a resting place for all the memories I've watched us make, there is such irony in the constant replays
Though you are no longer here, I still see you
Kellin May 2018
I have let you make footprints
in this town,
And it's haunting when
you're gone
Kellin Apr 2018
These pages are the only
place where I am allowed
to love you,
Thus I write.
Kellin Mar 2018
I looked into that old antique shop that we once spent countless hours with trinkets and what nots
on that fall day, my heart sank in my chest for it was now just another place I could never go to again
because the ghost of our love haunts
it
Kellin Oct 2017
Green eyes telling you lies.
Brown eyes painfully seeking the truth.

Green hides, loathing, despondent.
Green is actually blue, the darkest shade perhaps this is true.

Brown discloses, inflamed, aggrieved.
Brown cannot discern the truth, troubled mind resides.

Green wants dissolution
Everything I have ever done is because I am ashamed to tell you that I hate my existence. I am sorry
Kellin Oct 2017
Sometimes I see everything.
Often to much in color,
To vivid,
To bright,
Blinding actually.

Then sometimes I see nothing at all.
Total absence of light,
To dark,
To secretive
Just dull aches.

Remnants of the person I used to be
What living with depression is like for me. Really high highs. Really low lows.
Kellin May 2020
I sat with my anger long enough until she told her real name,
Grief
Kellin May 2020
The wolf in my heart will never let the world see the lamb in my soul,

But sometimes you see it in my eyes
Kellin Oct 2021
I know I keep leaving
Never known how to stay in one place
I am hard to love with a gypsy soul
Kellin Feb 2018
Are you even real,
I moan as I caress the ghost beside me
Before I drown in the loneliness of my sheets
Her
Kellin Jul 2023
Her
I used to hide your name
In my line breaks -
When you left town,
I reached out through
Smokescreens and similes.
I used to hide my secret,
Placed it delicately
Within my pining,
A secret only sapphics
Would decipher -
When I wrote about flowers,
I was describing the way the breeze
Caught each strand of your hair
In the sun's gaze;
When I went on about the wind,
It was an attempt to capture
Your scent
Mixed with the ocean breeze
That one week you
Went away with me.

Teasing and testing me,
You let clear water ripple
Around your naked form,
In front of me for the first time.
Your whispers sent shivers
Through my shoulders,
Years spent yearning enough
To override my senses.
There were no tide pools
Deep enough to prepare me
For your beauty as the moon
Threw shadows across your face;
I wish I had been brave enough
To dive straight in back then.
A few years and states away;
The months blur together now,
The moon cycles shifting
Seemingly faster every time.
I wonder if you dare
Ask yourself, what if?
When you see her,
Full and bright above you.
Kellin Jul 2021
Night changes nothing
when she's as beautiful during the honest hue of the day as she is to me bathed in moonlight
Kellin Feb 2022
Nothing is queerer than quiet understanding...

Except  maybe  survival
Kellin Nov 2017
I let you in so I
could feel whole but now my body doesn't feel like home
Kellin Apr 2018
I make my
Homes
in
flesh and bones.
Kellin May 2021
She told me
that the air tastes of
nothing
but
nostalgia and arsenic
Kellin Nov 2017
My morning coffee was bitter;
Like it had been up all night replaying your words again.. and again;
Like it was tired of hanging on to hope
But it was strong too..oh so strong
You will get through this god ****** and you will be better for it.
Kellin Jul 2020
Taking pictures while you sleep
Leftovers on the table, strangers on TV
I'm bleeding from my ears
Sneaking out while you're asleep,
Cause you're my biggest fear
Kellin Dec 2020
My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in

Everyone looked worse in the light
Kellin Oct 2020
I've been dancing on telephone wires hoping you'll call me again just to hear  my name sound like a ballet as it floats off your tongue

Lets dance in the ignorant nostalgia
Kellin Oct 2013
Endless wispers make hast
Yet to soon disapear
the air that encompassed me
Suddenly gets seize away.
And I left breathless.      
NEEDless to say they steal my light
And leave me enclosed in darkness
My melody,my piano they steal and misuse.

Eager for a moments worth of
                                          Your time.                                            
They know not how lucky they are    
To receive even an ounce of
YOUR time.
They are the luckiest people in the world, they have it seems more of
Your time
than I.
They abuse and detriment
Your time
Mybe one day I'll receive all of
your TIME


So I wait in vain untill that time comes.
Ill just grab a ticket and get in line.
Perhaps one day your piano will play just for me.
Only me.
But that is a selfish thought.
My boyfriend is a piano player and it seems every one wants him to do something for them and he gets stressed out and I get left alone. I need your time
Kellin Sep 2020
I wish we could live in this moment
Forever..
Kellin Mar 2020
That day I got high
And almost called you
What I would have gave for another laugh
To hear the air move from your lungs
And wash out the dust in my mind
A chance to cleanse my soul

I know it's only been two weeks but time moves slow when your surrounded in silence

My mind can only forage thoughts of you
Kellin Nov 2017
I tried to lay with another sin
But all I could exhale was your name

Pry you out of my mind
You can't love a ghost
Will there be a day when I don't think about you ?
Kellin Nov 2017
Almost eight billion souls
And all I see in them
is your absence
Kellin Oct 2013
Jaded heart
          Damaged soul
lost love
        Algid heart
deceptive tongue
         Empty eyes

long ago
      He stood-
Blissful sunrise
         Temperate heart

long ago
         I dreamed-
Decalscent heart
            Animate soul

then
      We encountered-
face to face
  Then we afforted-
               Heart to heart

now
        We're alive
made whole

now  
        We're together
Made Definite
Kellin Oct 2018
If I am not enough
let me know,
It hurts to be half loved
Kellin Nov 2017
What you allow in your relationship is a reflection of how you feel about yourself
Kellin Oct 2017
My life rarely fits
The picture I draw up
In my head
I have this idea life perfect life yet it's all just a facade.
Kellin Nov 2013
Limited
In our desolate life we as humans are given only a select number of years
                           Hours
                        minutes
                        Sec­onds        
Most People take for granted there  meager hours.                


In our  compendiary lifes we tend to waste a vast amount of time on  inadequate things.
                                                    
Our days are numbered.
Our lives will past by in a blink of an eye.                                                    

Cheeris­h the time you are given with your soul mate.
Some spend their whole life searching For them.
Don't let your numbers waste away.

Your tock is ticking. Soon the last grain of sand in your hourglass will spill though and you will into that enteral sumbler
Our days our numbered so never take someones time for granted they could disappear in the blink of an eye
Kellin May 2018
Like a lion getting ready to  devour its last meal your eyes graze my skin like sand paper. Like we were some sick science experiment. Palms twitching, hungry eyes, sadist smile. A priviledge you said. Love did always make me stupid and alas, she still was under the delusion she loved you more. So with your yellow eyes and teeth just as so you raught your way into yielding flesh because no wasn't in your vocabulary. So how dare you think that you can fall asleep with that smirk as you extrude me from her so you can take and take what's wasn't yours. And now  it's not fair, I shouldn't have to beg for a love that wouldn't come for your sick benefit I shouldn't have begged at all but we all knew it was just lust. And ******* both for how I feel now, inferno under my skin when real love wants me, for this intense incertitude chaos that fills my brain when real love says no. But little does she know how much damage both of you caused. But it was my own fault right? I did to myself. At least that's what you had me believe.
Kellin Aug 2020
I do not think
Loneliness
is absence of company,
rather the inability to form an emotional connection with yourself or anyone else
Kellin Oct 2013
Look with your heart
and not with your eyes
the heart knows
the heart understands

the eyes can deceive
the heart can perceive


Look with your heart
And not with your eyes
The heart can't be fooled
The heart is too wise

the eyes can be deluded
the heart can see clear


So open your arms
And close your eyes tight
Look with your heart
And when it finds love
Your heart will be right


Love you misunderstand
Is love that you'll regret
Kellin Sep 2020
Small moments of comfort
Were the ones
When you stood in front of me
Smiling like there's no tomorrow
When your eyes became lost in mine
And my eyes became
Lost in you
Kellin Feb 2018
No longer do I fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can
no longer see the stars in my eyes
As long as they still choose to look
they will find them again
Kellin May 2020
I can't be the love of your life
But I will be the loss of your life
Kellin Sep 2020
You're gonna find yourself lost in another
time
Kellin Mar 2018
I will no longer mourn the inches of me
that loved
you
Kellin Feb 2018
Love is
deliberate
Love is a
conscious decision
What does love mean to you?
Kellin Nov 2013
LOVE** makes us lairs.    
It makes us lie to ourself
It tries to manipulate us
        
Love MAKES us vulnerable.
It rips and tears at our hearts.  
It exposes our most vital *****.

Love makes US weak.
It makes us show our true self.
It leaves your heart to bleed.

Love makes us feel.              
It makes us feel things we try to deny
It  forces us to feel what we try to forget  
                                          
Love makes us never forget
It makes sure we REMEMBER.        
It never takes away all the memories
                                 And the pain...
Try to deny it and try to protest.
                                     But love..          
                                       Won't let you go.
                                          No matter
                                            Where your at
Love never dies.
Yes.. you still haunt my mind....
Kellin Dec 2017
Love was suppose to
give you wings
Not visit you at
your funeral
Kellin Sep 2018
Eyes are blind,
You look with
the heart, the soul, the mind
Kellin Mar 2018
I
wish
people
weren't
afraid
of
Love
Kellin Aug 2020
We can get

Tattoos

And trash

Hotel rooms
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