Let me tell you a story.
A story of hurt, pain and eventual healing.

Once upon a time, there was a boy as joyous as could be.
A boy once described as a gentle giant.
Who had big dreams and aspirations for the future.
A boy happy and proud of being their authentic self.
Was taught about the importance of culture and the sacrifices of his ancestors.
Was taught the truth about our shared history; a truth that would soon be undermined, rejected and punished.
Where innocence died and his colour became villainized.
The day he  first went outside his house.
The day that pride and happiness shattered and reality became tattered.
The day his heart became bruised and battered.
Where the gentle giant became an angry monster like the Incredible Hulk.
Except for the part where he felt anything but incredible.
Humans sure can be cruel.
Illusions of difference kept up by oppressive rules.
And those unable to see beyond it, truly are the biggest fools.
Blind truly lead the blind, for real.
Some call it cynical, some call it political, yet many ignore the pain it yield’s.
But unlike bread for many like this boy it’s hard to rise.
Hard to overcome all the factors that keep many sidelined.
Left to pretend everything’s fine.
When it’s obviously not.
Healing is hard; it takes time.
Especially when many of your friends die.
Believing in the lie’s.
Who’s to blame?
Perhaps everyone is.
Which got many like the little boy wondering?
Are we monsters by choice or by circumstance?
Perhaps both?
Perhaps neither?
All I know is many are hurting.
All I know is people are crying.
Which makes the little boy wonder?
How many tears are enough to create change?
How many deaths does it take to create change?
All the boy knows is he’s alive and has overcame.
All he knows is that it took years to heal, and understand that he isn’t insane.
Or some monster that needs to be tamed.
He knows that he may be indigenous, but he’s human all the same.
And he hopes he can help others like him someday.

I started out the bottom, unlike that ****** drake.
I never seen a biracial rapper try so hard not even logic can take that cake.
Bro got merked by Pusha, then got merked by Kendrick; that ain’t even up to no debate.
Call that a double homicide, but there ain’t gonna be no roses for some jail bate!
Man, Chat gpt working more overtime than your efforts to increase the populations birth rate.
Got R Kelly jr over here; hold up, wait… where’s the police?
Perhaps them goofy goobers can’t handle the heat?
Of them, 81’s grovelling beneath a CP’s feet.
****, I’d never thought I’d see the day when gangs went against their own beliefs.
Money over everything, corrupting everybody from thugs to priests.
But at least it’s got everyone distracted, keeping their eyes off the Middle East.
Tell when I start telling lies? Only then will I take a seat!
Pa pa pa pow, rest in peace!
Pa pa pa pow, rest in peace!
**** this ****!
Bring the lyricism back; I ain’t here to make no twerking songs.
You best know Classy J grew up on that real ****, like those Shady, Biggie and Tupac songs!
I don’t have beef with ya unless you're Drake or the Diddler; we’ll probably get along.
This is usually the part I’d tell them to **** my ****.
But I know the thought of it would get them perverts salivating like some dog.
Ra, ra, ra ruff, ruff! Am I wrong?
Ra, ra, Ra, ruff, ruff! I ain't wrong!
Okay, okay, okay, for real, though.
I ain't claim to be no hero!
I ain't no villain either; I'm more like Malcolm, man; I'm something in the middle!
And these rhymes help me stay in remission,
So, that I always keep **** level.
For real, I gotta keep working to block out the lies of the devil!
Which was formed by trauma since I was very little.
Even before that, the pain was literally ingrained in my people's genomes!
A legacy of death that will take a couple of generations to heal.
Yet some still believe that it ain't no big deal or if it was even real.
The fact is, humanities ****, and we’ll eventually clog our own wheel.
Tell when I start telling lies? Only then will I take a seat!
This is my classy interlude *****; class is in session; take a seat!

I swear we all stuck in the matrix, just like we Truman.
Have to break free of these shackles and delusions.
That fail us harder than our ******* institutions.
Guess it’s easier being woke than getting off one’s *** and finding some real ******* solutions!
I swear somedays our stupidity be giving me a ******* concussion.
That got me wondering…
How is that pain evolves faster than us humans?
Maybe cause we treat the pain better than we do ourselves!
Call that unaddressed internal prosecution.
That leaves us more fragile than gazelles.
The corpse cannot be hidden any longer brother; we gotta address the smell.
Even a Smurf could tell!
That this **** be grosser than the unwashed ***** of Gargamel.
Yuck! 🤢 🤮
But man you think that’s bad?
Just wait till you see through the corruption!
After all humans are the biggest natural destruction.
Ever since the introduction of the Industrial Revolution.
That gave many philosophers like Karl Marx contusions.
But at least we got Dragon Ball and super saiyan fusions!
Too bad the earth will eventually crash and burn from all of our pollution.
But **** it that’s a problem for the next generation!
You know what I’m saying?

Re-Greta D’ohberg, better watch out for that iceberg!
The pressure is palpable man.
It’s got me wondering how much longer?
Till we sink here!

We live in a society where facts take a back seat to feelings,
Cause every body wanna be a victim.
Beating on the same drum, just hook line then sink em.
Stopping any discussion that surrounds em.
Leaving em power hungry and fiending.
Till one is hooked and addicted, spoon fed **** that’s misleading.
There ain’t a part meant for people like me in the system.
What’s right is wrong, so one gotta burn down churches as part of their healing.
More like part of their fearing; which is all part of a larger symptom.
Which got everyone acting like they syndrome.
Now pardon these lyrics.
Gotta compartmentalize the formula that makes things clearer to see; like windex.
Just like pudding needs to be pre-mixed.
There must always be a pre-text and a witness.
Gotta listen close, to truly feel this!

Running outta time,
Running out of excuses.
It's the bottom of the ninth.
So, I really can't miss this!
Guess I found my spine.
Promise I’ll do whatever to maintain it!
I know I risked it all.
And I should've taken six.
As I really ****** up,
Cause I know that you're really ******!
Sleeping all alone, without you at home,
Left to wallow & reminisce.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Running outta time,
Running outta patience,
Think I lost my mind,
Got caught up in a spaceship.
I tell you that I’m fine,
But we both know that is some *******.
Guess I told a lie.
Is it too late to truly fix this?
When I told you, that you were mine.
Yet got caught up with some scant tricks.
I know I crossed that line.
When I decided to plug into that matrix.
Convinced myself that I needed to escape this.
Cause I Couldn’t see what I had until it was too late and I lost it!
****.

I keep, I keep, running… running…

I keep, I keep, running… running…

Like a hamster in a wheel.

Overthinking, overthinking…

Till my head implodes.

Look baby I just gots to know.
That you feels like you’se gots to go.
Cause **** ain't optimal,
What can I say?
***** I lost control.
Wait hold the phone.
Forgive the tone.
I'm just emotional.
And I want you home.
Just thought that you should know.
That I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that's as far as my words can go.
Best believe ***** personal.
Cause I hurt more than just your trust; I hurt your soul.
Soul…. Soul…. Soul.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Embrace the void.
Like a Consumer establishment.
Fate is something one cannot avoid.
For Nothing happens by accident.
I Hope we can re-try this life once again.

Nothing lasts forever.
At least that’s what we are told.
Well thought out intentions;
Can Create later consequences for both young and old.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Tick tock, down goes the hand of hate.
Till the serpent eats its tail again.
Perhaps selfishness is innate?
To some extent…
Do we deserve to try this once again?
However…

Nothing lasts forever.
At least that’s what we are told.
Well thought out intentions;
Can Create later consequences for both young and old.

Soon all will fade into nothingness.
Come what may.
In all its elegance.

Feels like I’m on the brink,
Every time I open up my pie hole.
Will I live to see another cinco de mayo?
Hold up gotta let that **** sink.
Before it numbs out cause of the wine-o.
That liquid courage, that helps me nab some fine **’s.
I’m fine though, I swear I don’t need no shrink!
Knowing **** well I’ll end up either in jail, rehab or like Amy Winehouse.
And I know it’s a miracle I lived this long, cause trust me bud I had my doubts.
Gotta **** around to find out.
Reality sure ain’t no Mickey Mouse clubhouse.
(Insert mickey voice and gun fire)
Ain’t sleep a wink in a minute.
Got One eye open playing paw patrol.
Looking out for the monsters ink cause I ain’t complicit.
I’m Just a paranoid guy spacing out to rock and roll.
Eating bats and other **** deemed explicit.
As if the Prince of darkness has taken over my soul.
Riling up the media to distract the dimwits.
From the Illuminati, if you know you know.
But as they say one gotta be careful if one spills it.
Cause you’ll Get suicided like Epstein in a hot minute!

Say am I freaking,
Say am I tweaking?
Watch as I’ve weakened,
Watch as I’ve taken.
It all.

Say I’m mistaken,
Say are you Satan?
Watch as your breaking,
Watch as you’ve taken,
It all.

Let it burn, let it burn.

Mouths of heathens, feeds the birds.
Disease it spreads, sown by herds.
Lap it up, consume the rot, till it’s all a blur.
Beauty parades and deters.
From cruelty and massacres.
It’s not your concern, it’s not your concern.
Just continue to inhale the toxins;
Till it’s all a blur.

Say am I freaking,
Say am I tweaking?
Watch as I’ve weakened,
Watch as I’ve taken,
It all.

Say I’m mistaken,
Say are you Satan?
Watch as your breaking,
Watch as you’ve taken,
It all.

Dance within the fires, become my corpse.
Give in to desire, feed the mouth that barks.
Forget about conviction, till the world restarts.

Let it burn, let it burn.

Dancing with wolves, starved of humanity.
Go grab the stones, such sheepish mentality
Forget what’s right and wrong, embrace irrationality.

Say am I freaking,
Say am I tweaking?
Watch as I’ve weakened,
Watch as I’ve taken.
It all.

Say I’m mistaken,
Say are you Satan?
Watch as your breaking,
Watch as you’ve taken,
It all.

Let it burn, let it burn.
Till the wheel stops to turn.

Scratch the records, the needles yearn.
Arms to match, must wait your turn.
Scrapped for cash, in need for cure.
As the Poison wells and starts to stir. Beauty’d beast, blackened rose.
Let the maggot feast, it won’t quell the hole.
From cruelty to massacres, and stories never told.
Got to justify the onslaught, that’s how it goes.
All Housed like a cemetery, row by row.
Not knowing anyone, that how it goes.

Let it burn, let it burn.
Till the wheel stops to turn.
Let it burn, let it burn.
Till the wheel stops to turn.

The blood runs cold as them police files.
Society watches along as we are ***** &
defiled.
The tears seep deeply as the wounds left unhealed.
Crimes unpunished and concealed.
They fear us as savages.
While we fear for our lives.
We are fraught with disadvantages.
But they still refuse to hear our cries.
Our screams, our pleas.
To not be treated differently.
Left to be Buried…
In unmarked graves just like our ancestors.
Leaving the survivors without any closure.
Perhaps we haven’t changed at all?

Would you believe?
What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen!
What do you need?
To believe, to believe?

From living on welfare to living fairly well.
Grew up in church like kapowski,
Guess we were both saved by the bell.
I can guarantee there’s a God compadre,
cause I’ve been through hell.
But I refuse to drag my *** on the pavement,
Even if that **** does sell.
Cause imma true rebel,
And only time will tell.
If I succeed of fail.
So, You see, pray tell, I hope you listen closely, listen well.
Gotta keep one’s intents not stuck on your pretence.
I relent that fact that **** can get intense in an instance.
Enough to make one dive in a pool filled with incense.
Offend the masses with insensitivity,
Yet Treating it like a **** trapped within tents.
No place to run when incensed, at least until one pays them in cents.
Cause that makes sense, doesn’t it?
At least to the insensible next generations,
That needs to be carried like a decimal.
But is that truly justice at all?
Uh..

Would you believe?
What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen!
What do you need?
To believe, to believe?

They tell me to be quiet, bruh I don’t buy it.
They call me a savage, yet I’m not the one who’s violent.
So, I’m not about to dial it down for you clowns that grow silent.
When I reveal the truth once denied and paid off with benevolent funds.
Which loaded the bullets for tiny Tim’s gun.
Cause we’re only good when we’re gone!
I am second to none, go ahead buy my merch.
Than Get told off for wearing a cap in the church, must be capping, cause they ain’t humble enough to get off their perch.
God don’t care about appearances, he cares for the hurt, so before you judge us at least do your research!
Uh…
I ain’t a republican, a democrat, or a conspiracy theorist.
I simply don’t trust politicians, aristocrats, or  cbc journalists.
I trust in the alpha and omega, the OG purist.
That’s why I support Israel and not barbaric Hamas terrorists!
Yes sir!

Would you believe?
What I’ve seen, what I’ve seen!
What do you need?
To believe, to believe?

My inner child traumatized; been defiled,
Felt stuck, cause I couldn’t recognize the patterns.
Like A sinner man left to fantasize in the wild.
Hard to chin up, while being ostracized and told I don’t matter.
Yet I still climbed that corporate ladder with a fake it to make it smile.
Cause I knew I was built for greatness.
Like a game of blackjack, it took till 21,
When I felt like life wasn’t such a bust.
But as they say, to be fine tuned requires maintenance.
And for me Poetry was an arrow I learned to aim with and deconstruct.
So, Shout out to fresh ie and Lecrae for getting me out that darkness!
That basement I was chained in,
Lusting, over-eating and gamed in.
Cause I didn’t know how to cope with all the demons I got cursed with.
Passed on by ancestors that got whipped.
Got enslaved which ingrained into the mind set.
Taught to hate our people and ourselves,
But only now do we work to rewind it.
And though I may be two generations from it,
They say it’ll take 5 more to truly heal from it.
Thing is this goes way beyond one’s culture or the colour of our skin.
It goes back to our sin, it goes back to when we thought we knew what was best;
So we went and broke Gods coven.
But don’t feel down, nor fear the end, for God will give us strength and help us not give in!

Cause we was built for this! Built for this!
No weapon formed against us;
Could ever make us quit! Never make us quit!
Cause brother we was built for this! Built for this!

Sliding, huff and puff, just minding;
My own, getting high ain’t nothing;
Till it’s something, like momma when she see me mumbling off.
Under the tongue, thinking I’m sly enough.
Till I meets them ***** cuffs, that smack down, **** gets rough.
But I ain’t no hufflepuff, i’m a man, and my experiences helped me understand.
How to work them cards in my hand.
Gotta to fake it to you make kid,
In other words this **** is a scam.
Gotta avoid the beats that turns into the heat of the man.
Yeah that, Red and blue that’ll turn you black and blue;
Cause they don’t hold back unlike your old mam.
And prison ain’t no better, get tagged, then leave with a gun and lives in your hand.
But by then will ya even give a ****?
Uh!
Like the window to my soul, step back and watch me juxtapose.
Got break through this pane, the shackles left, raw and exposed.
Cause I Couldn’t cut it any closer if I chose.
Just Reaping what I sowed, as the reapers coming close.
I will never show, I will never slow, when I come face to face with my foes!
Cause Being Steadfast is all I know!

Steady hustlings all I know.
It’s all I know, it’s all I know.
Making something outta nothing;
Man that’s how I roll, that’s how I roll.
Real recognize real that’s how it goes!

Ride or die, steady hustlings all I know.
It’s all I know, it’s all know.
Making something outta nothing;
Man that’s how I roll, that’s how I roll.
Real recognize real that’s how it goes!

Quick stepping, hold the breath in.
Nesquick bunny am I hoping or hopping?
Amongst these land mines that means certain death.
Just one wrong step, what do I have left?

Positive Change is trauma unlearning,
Gotta be the role model I was always yearning.
Cause I know what it’s like when my canoe was sinking.
Vicarious victim drinking with sharks,
Was never the best at swimming.
Or confronting my problems,
For awhile I was sitting.
For awhile I was drowning.
At the back of the bus with the rest of the goblins.
Until I stood my ground like Rosa Parks,
Straight spitting.
Speaking truth even if I’m portrayed as the **** villain!
After all, I’m used to it cause I’m a **** ***** Indian!
A savage in need of sterilization.
Today we just call it cancelation.
Cause snowflakes both left and right can’t handle a native with education.
No wonder we are so underfunded cause they don’t want restoration.
They don’t want truth nor reconciliation.
They want us to keep us starved so we rely on their salvation.
Ooh ****! Better start…

Quick stepping, hold the breath in.
Nesquick bunny am I hoping or hopping?
Amongst these land mines that means certain death.
Just one wrong step, what do I have left?

Feels like I’m trying to swim upstream,
When for the longest time residential schools,
Were treated as ponzi schemes.
Or as justifiable things.
And I can’t lie that growing up that **** did sting!
Was silenced and punished by the authorities.
And I ain’t just talking police,
I’m talking anyone that held power over folks like me.
Hell I Can’t even go shopping without being assaulted and asked for my receipt!
Cause after all I’m the thief, a snotty nose Rez kid that needs to go back to his tepee!
Where health and safety is decreased,
But yawl don’t care or share mercy.
To us Street beasts.
You know what? **** these land mines,
I don’t care if ya triggered!
Better prepare yourself to be decolonized,
By your friendly neighbour hood prairie…

Verse 1:
Boom. Bombs going off me.
Check the meter, grab the coffee.
Trek through with the Beamer, come on Scotty!
Traffics running a muck, creeping on me.
Beeping on they horns, swearing at me.
So, much for Canadian hospitality.
Sure is wild in the city, especially at night,
Where’s I gots to protect my shawty.
Who be like a melody in my head,
Nagging at me.
Where 5 minutes turns to a couple hours probably.
A broken record of almost done, like sure you will hunny.
And even though I’ve been around the block,
I still can’t find parking.
Going around in circles,
Like it’s a synopsis of my whole life story.
Except this **** makes less cents,
Than a Canadian loonie.
Guess we can thank Trudeau and his liberal carnies.
Man, At this point I’d rather our Prime Minister be Barney.
We live in a world full of injustice just ask Johnny.
A man who got cancelled and labeled an enemy.
Without proof in the pudding,
Unlike Bill Cosby.

All heroes ain’t super,
To be a villain is easy,
All ya haves to do is give heathens the big bird,
Like ya was Mr.hooper
Plus ya get way more dinero, can sit back and puffs the reefy.
Why help the needy?
Survival of the fittest, ain’t gots time to be a goofy goober.
What can I say entrepreneurs are greedy!
So, come on pass the hookah, it’s been a long day.
And Pour some malice intent through the flask,
Enough to upset buddha or one’s bay.
Cause I wokes up with a hooka in a room filled with ashtrays.
When I was s’post to go to the preacha man’s house on Sunday.

What can I say? I think villains got it easy in this day and age!
In a world where…
Good guys receive so much disdain.
What can I say? Victim mentality is ingrained.
That’s why villains got it easy in this day and age.

Heroes philosophy otherwise known as a Villains dichotomy.
Write ******* wherever you end up burying me.
Truth be told, I know one day they’ll silence me.
Cause I don’t fit the mold of ignorance and complacency.
Too many aloof in reality, sold to a narrative of victim mentality.
Where Blaming the Herero white man is top priority.
That ain’t woke, it’s discrimination policy.
But apparently ya can’t be racist to the honkies.
At least that’s what the Karen professors tell me.
The inconvenient Indian challenging their privilege and authority.
Ain’t **** changed, we just accepted a different extremist philosophy.
That will become the death of democracy.

What can I say? I think villains got it easy in this day and age!
In a world where…
Good guys receive so much disdain.
What can I say? Victim mentality is ingrained.
That’s why villains got it easy in this day and age.

Left to watch as friends turns to fiends,
Overdose and make a scene.
Shooting up their tendons, yearning for a meaning.
Or they get shot up by the po-po cause they don’t resemble Mr. Clean.
Same **** different story from coast to coast if people actually bothered listening.
Left sitting watching finding dory instead of finding myself.
Wish I could give a **** about my mental health.
But society treats it like a joke.
So, I drown my sorrows and have a ****.
I’m down bad, Guzzling cans of alcohol out the canon like I’m bulbasaur.
Recovery is a buzzkill, watch me flounder in withdrawal like I’m magic carp.
Can’t hear them roars through the muzzle,
Silenced to the core.
Society hits harder than the floor, never thought I’d fall deeper into the dark.
Yet I keep wanting more and more!
Become your friendly neighbour hood addict man.
Till I get arrested for exposing my Peter in the park.
***** effective for my foes, like taking a hit straight through the nose.
The Taste of smack reaching the degenerate brain, knocking neurones over like dominoes.
Dictating erratic philosophy so don’t get too close.
Living In a state of apathy, thinking the answers in the readers palms.
But ya can’t escape the lie in belief, cause that said **** is strong.
Can one’s rights nullify another’s wrongs.
A victim can justify as easily as I can write rhymes in these songs.
Like a straw man looks for crumbs.
Instead of examining outside they lawns.
The bias of their ignorance remains prolonged.
Like a joke about a bear with them great big.. pause.

Deemed us as savages,
That’s how they branded us.
Numbered us off,
Like the holocaust.
Stripped of a heritage.
That’s how they divided us.
But when we speak we’re told to *******.
Left to Watch in horror as lives are lost.
Overdosing on drugs or getting shot.
Drinking the fire water to numb the trauma,
Of our salads being tossed.
By hands left unwashed.
Missing and murdered when’s the pain going to stop?
Tell me when the pains gonna stop?
Huh?
Hold up. I don’t think yawl awake enough!
And I ain’t talking if ya woke or not.
I’m talking bout opening up.
Wondering if yawl got hope or not?
Cause I’m truly broken up,
Survived off rice and ramen as youngen,
Yeah when we was broke as ****.
Raised by a single mother,
Dealt with Aces in her oven.
So, ya bet that statistics were dark as ****.
Uh! ****.

Heavy head wears the crown of thorns,
Was blue and black when I was born.
Little did I know that wouldn’t be the only storm…
That I would face.
Been close to death so many times,
I could probably draw heavens gates.
That ain’t an exaggeration.
Cause I swear some days the Grim Reaper must’ve been on vacation!
Yet here I still stand, gotta protect this land.
As the King of the Savages.

Trying to thrive through this wilderness,
With so many disadvantages.
Hard to speak the truth,
When they still try to silence us.
Hard to teach culture and language,
When they handcuff us.
Criminalized our identity and treated our beliefs as blasphemous.
Treated like Devil children,
That’s why the sent in the church to exorcise us!
Hard to create a movement or protest,
When the government treats us as domestic terrorists.
Colonial law and the Indian Act,
Still keeps many powerless.
It’s hard to be proud,
When all they do is shame and blame us.
Ironic isn’t it?
But as they say…

Heavy head wears the crown of thorns,
Was blue and black when I was born.
Little did I know that wouldn’t be the only storm…
That I would face.
Been close to death so many times,
I could probably draw heavens gates.
That ain’t an exaggeration.
Cause I swear some days the Grim Reaper must’ve been on vacation!
Yet here I still stand, gotta protect this land.
As the King of the Savages.

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

Times almost up cause…
Addiction be my lover,
Times almost up cause I'm…
Running out of veins to discover.

Tell me why? Tell me why?
I must remain while those I love die!
Tell me why? Tell me why?
I still feel everything, yet can no longer cry?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Why can't I die? Why can't I die?

See I grew up being a failure,
Got abused left and right,
Some days I swear I saw my maker.
Asking him why I keep having to fight?
A cruel world filled with misdemeanours.
That delight in cockfights.
Never roosting on their morals,
Instead, they make mountains out of molehills.
Clubbing tender-hearted fools like me refusing to club the seals.
After all, Men can't show weakness they gotta be hard as steel!
This must be a nightmare cause this **** can't be for real?

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

I'm so torn inside,
Since the day they tore me from my mother.
Grew up in a penitentiary reciting Our Father.
Torn from a culture, from my sisters and my brothers.
Many tried to escape but could not escape the vultures.
After all we might have lost our culture,
But we couldn't bleach the colour…
Of our sin, oops I meant skin.
Then again it was all the same to them.
The supposed holy ones that wore the devils grin.
Uh, but **** it for my….

Times almost up cause…
Addiction be my lover,
Times almost up cause I'm…
Running out of veins to discover.

Tell me why? Tell me why?
I must remain while those I love die!
Tell me why? Tell me why?
I still feel everything, yet can no longer cry?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Why can't I die? Why can't I die?

And then I wake up…
Just to pour another drink.
Yeah I wake up…
To swallow pills that give some relief.

And I wake up…
Alone again
Wonder if today's the day,
I put bullets through my head.

Doomalate the formula, chemistry insane.
**** a hypothesis, lets pinky and the brain.
Combine with intensity, till madness turns sane.
Gotta break a couple backs, just ask Bane and Bruce Wayne.
Just like money doesn’t always solve problems, in fact it’s keeps many chained.
Like being being combined in a column.
Than Columbined.
Ain’t **** changed since 99.
**** will just keep receding like Derrick Whites hairline.
Till tensions blow up like Palestine.
I don’t mince meat or words just to appease your waistline.
Why can’t ya be more like Will smith by not swearing in ya lines?
Cause it helps me release my pent up aggressions instead of assaulting comedians!
Who knew the better role model for kids would be Eminem?

In this lyrical revolution, I’m Noah’s ark.
Floating over ya stone cold hearts.
That Think that I’m toxic, yet are the ones swimming with the sharks.
But I learned a long time ago there’s no use educating marks.

I be meaning well,
When I excel,
Like maxwell,
Ding ding … ring the bell.
Kiss my diamond crusted pinky ring,
Gotta do what ya gotta do to win the belt.
Cry to Press like unlisted peons but that won’t make ya king.
Ya scrawny otters need to drink some milk.
Cause unlike ya ******* I’m built!
Built up from the ground cause I was willing to,
Step over ya unwilling to leave the pound.
Stepping over haters that tried to keep me down; self-defeating.
Narratives excusing and excluding.
Spinning wheels never ending, never changing.
Fearing Success cause its a blood sport that Damns Van’s & Claude-Jeans.
Never to be main characters like Jimmy  Neutron, left to starve on Planet Sheen.

Verse 1:
Rising to top, but I ain’t gonna drop.
No,no,no,no I ain’t gonna drop!
Cause I’m sipping on success,
******* ******* on my private jet yeah, yeah.
Sipping on success, the grind never stops.
Get that tattooed on ya chest.
Facing every challenge, unable to be stopped.
No, no, no, no I cannot be stopped!

Pre-chorus:
Cause I’m always evolving, yeah!
Musics my compulsion, yeah!
Uh, I Keep on evolving, keep on evolving,
Living my life like a sultan, like a sultan.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Verse 2:
Hit the road Jack, if ya ain’t willing to step up to the bat.
But even you do, You never hit the level that I am at.
Sorry not sorry for the lack of sympathy.
All I gotta give ya is the smallest symphony.

Pre-chorus:
Cause I’m always evolving, yeah!
Musics my compulsion, yeah!
Uh, I Keep on evolving, keep on evolving,
Living my life like a sultan, like a sultan.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Bridge:
Haters gonna hate, uh haters gonna hate.
Unlike you I do not break, yawl too fragile, yawl too fake!
I pour my heart & soul into this ****.
& that hard work turned into grit.

Chorus:
Isn’t that something? Uh, isn’t that something? Yeah
Doing **** my own way, my own way.
Cause I don’t play, no I don’t play.
And if you don’t like it, there’s the highway.

Outro:
This journeys a hustle,
Some of yawl too soft.
Don’t understand the struggle,
That’s why I make hits and yawl make flops.

Sometimes I wanna put my head in a blender,
Ain’t been sober since September, never wake me up till I see green days front & centre.
Everyday another ****** than I go and get fried.
No, futurama just future drama, but **** it I’m zombified.
With hangovers being the only thing confirming I’m even alive.
Treating life like a game but in real life there ain’t no revives.
But I know eventually like Chester I’ll cross that new divide.
Where the irresistible force & the immovable object collide.
Understand the analogy? If not my apologies.
For these are just the ramblings of addict unable to stop gambling.
Gambling with the life creator has graciously given me.
Wonder if he’s disappointed in me.
Uh…
Think I need some more REM &
***.
Blacking out till the next one.
Blacking out till I’m gone
Uh…

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Stumbling around the streams of thought,
Like a philosopher lost in time.

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Drowning out the past,
That left me traumatized.

Got me wanting to take a leap of bad faith,
Right into oncoming traffic.
1000 ways to die to meet the wraith awaiting like a bandit.
To take away life off the list with a tick,
Tick, tick.
No escaping the Clock of fate.
That’s why I numb my mental state.
So, I don’t feel **** when I arrive at hells gates.
Cause it cannot be worse than the **** I’ve already faced.
At least I’m hoping that is the case.
For goodness sakes.
Give me a ******* break.
But life is rigged speedway where shadowy figures cut one’s brakes.
Understand the analogy? If not my apologies.
For these are just the ramblings of addict unable to stop gambling.
Gambling with the life creator has graciously given me.
Wonder if he’s disappointed in me.
Uh…
Think I need some more REM &
***.
Blacking out till the next one.
Blacking out till I’m gone
Uh…

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Stumbling around the streams of thought,
Like a philosopher lost in time.

Liquor in my dreams,
Liquor in my mind,
Drowning out the past,
That left me traumatized.

I may not be able to birth a child,
But I swear that somedays I go through birthing pains.
To say that I’ve been through things,
Is a ******* understatement.
A survivor without guilt, sick of the chains,
And the constant payments.
If self care was a stock it’d be the best ******* investment.
Gotta figure out the Tetris blocks, cause services cost more than a months rent.
Plus it’s a joke that thinks it can take the stank outta the coffin with incense.
Insensitive at our expense, can never understand what it’s like across the fence.
What it like to always be in suspense.
Keeping glocks hidden cause ya never know when **** will get intense.
Never knowing when the clock stops to tick till it’s… next stop the graveyard express.
***** a complex mess that keeps recycling tragic events.
Never fully addressed, cause we so desensitized to the content.
Got me wondering…
What the ******* the point of growing pains,
If we ain’t grow.
Never appreciating the drive till ya die like Vincent Van Gogh!
Too busy criticizing individuals, unable to look beyond the storm to see the rainbow.
Got me wondering…
Where would I be today if no one took the time to see my rainbow?
If all they did was focus on the storm?
I probably would’ve took my life with a knife that night.
Traumatizing my mother, fulfilling a parents worst fright.
I just want those that are struggling currently to keep up the fight.
To speak up and get help, and know that through the darkness there is light.

Fiends always lurking, friends too busy getting blazed unknowing.
Of the dangers within life’s maze, waiting to make a killing.
Love of money is deceiving cause death don’t take no holidays.
Ya should know by now that these hoes, money & fame will betray.
Lead ya astray but I guess ya need a reminder; call it growing pains.
Jeremy Miller re-runs, re-plays, gotta have a legacy to leave for decades.
These days ain’t guaranteed, could have success but that can fade.
What’s a 70’s show shot in the 90’s without Topher Grace?
Indeed somethings can’t be replaced.
**** gotta have chemistry, otherwise the recipe will have a distaste.
Sour fruits breeds toxicity, becoming overblown till ya overdose cause that **** was laced.
Houses full of Payne, everyday another loss, but the masses gotta stay entertained.
So, with loss comes gains, ***** insane, ignore the corpses & enjoy the champagne.
Like a champ beaten and bruised until they numb to the pain.
Brain injuries cannot continue to be sustained!
But there ain’t no half-steppin’, isn’t that right Big Daddy Kane?
However, without tragedy, what would happen for those like Bruce Wayne?
I know that if I didn’t overcome adversity, I probably wouldn’t be the same!
So, perhaps that is why **** don’t change?
Cause some Climatized to the chains!

Victims to the game.
Always yearning for others to blame.
To justify actions so disgustingly vain.
No different than the nobles & colonists that ***** our ancestors.
Literally creating who we are today;
Intergenerational slaves.
Perpetuating cycles, perpetuating pain.
Victims to the game.

Coming into my own,
Branching structures outside my normative zone.
They can’t keep my voice silenced like redbone.
Can’t keep the message fossilized in stone.
We must evolve to heal the traumatized.
From structures intricately connected to harming marginalized lives.
Scars that lie beneath the skin, unseen by naked eyes.
Gotta be like a barbule; gotta connect and empathize.
Like a feather we must modify the process to better serve different functions.
To correct ignorant assumptions.
Which breeds nothing but dysfunction.
One way to do this is by having open, comfortable and safe discussions.

(Chick Corea & Return forever-light as a feather)

“Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be
Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be”

Gotta be resilient cause we trauma prone,
Even before foster care we was placed outside our homes.
Stuck within concentration camps or road allowance zones.
A practice so vile I think I’d rather get ******.
With insufficient plates for mouths, so many got buried in graves unknown.
Naive knaves betrayed and still smell of the perpetrators cologne.
Colonists were Terminators that tried to vanquish more than just John Connor.
But every hero needs an antagonist and our people won’t simply Timber.
We bounce back like Rubber, yawl can’t keep us in the gutter.
No matter how low it gets we’ll float above it like a feather.
Resilient despite the weather.
Resilient despite the pressure.

(Chick Corea & Return forever-light as a feather)

“Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be
Clear days feel so good and free
So light as a feather can be”

There are many facets of breaking.
Each taking varied directions,
Just as one does with life.
Like words cure or reap acid.
Water runs deep; gotta look deeper to see the connections.
Take a breath and use it for reflection.
Don’t want to have a stroke taking strokes and wading through the molasses.
That traps us, unable to move in our lanes.
We may no longer be slaves yet some still remain chained.
Waiting on things to change yet no doing their part to see said change.
Unable to escape the poverty mindset,
On corners begging for spare change.
But society can’t even seem to spare a tire.
Apathy is a ***** that keeps individuals desensitized and tired.
To speak facts breeds ire, such irony could melt iron and knees.
Words as sharp as tacks but anything but tactful.
But **** it gotta do what I gotta do to eviscerate the disease.
Won’t sit by and watch **** fly by like cattle.
That perpetuates brokenness and unfulfilled dreams.
How much to break a Benjamin?
An agony so dear to more than just Benjamin.
Just Ask Kendrick how much that dollar cost!
Economy don’t trickle down to the unwashed.
Many try to take the moral route,
But that’s a heavy cross.
Especially when meaning well goes against biased and racist laws.
Just look at the stir up Jesus caused.
Whether you believe in him or not.
Fact is; **** hasn’t changed for over 700 thousand years.
Sometimes I wish I could turn water in wine and drink with 700 thousand peers.
At the bottom of the bottle, the sum of all fears.
But drowning in our sorrows will only reap 700 thousand tears.

How much pressure till one hits their breaking point?
Some numb it all with pills or joints.
Others try to tone down the stress like some Joker, but end up like Heath Ledger.
Running with loaded guns, disappoint the masses like Cobain.
Can lose one’s life in a moment’s notice like Coltrane.
How much a life cost?
We all serve a life sentence, but what will our legacy be at the end of said sentence?
Do our actions increase or decrease our worth?
Is it enough for repentance?
I guess it depends on the intentions of one’s heart.
Guess we won’t know till we return to the dirt.
And break into rebirth.

Multiversal war but I'm out here surfing silver,
Fiercer than Galactus or any other heavy hitters.
I'm not a monster or a killer.
Imma Upper echelon rocketing raccoon, but don’t mess with the fur.
But if it came down to it,
I'd even strangle baby ******.
**** got dark, like some vampire thriller.
Call over Blade, to douse it with some holy water.
Stakes are high, like a mad titans slaughter.
Guess gotta burn some rubber, like the spirit of vengeance; Ghost Rider!
Collect a cosmic stone, but in-turn lose a daughter.
Some are afraid of death, others try to court her.
You may think you’re a conqueror like Kang,
But could still get cancelled.
A stank worse than the Blobs that never leaves ya.
Think I’d rather get Sentineled.
Or face off against the punisher.

Ring the bell,
Time to avenge the masses.
But only time will tell.
If we’re actually able to save they *****.

Multiversal war is on the horizon,
Fight till the last breath.
Like it was for the last remaining Bison.
Even if like Namor we are out of our depths.

I would rather be a solemn man than a Solomon.
Everybody wants to hold the crown but not the spikes.
Discover the heat in the kitchen with them pots and pans.
But is anybody actually down to listen to advice?
No… so no wonder history repeats.
Patterns of a Prideful Heart better hope it doesn't expand.
Watch the numbers; ain't no mystery why **** doesn't change in the streets!
We rather **** one another than give each other a hand.
All I see in my community is toxicity.
Whose at fault? Us or the white man?
Yes, the systems in place we're designed to create injury.
But we haven't stopped the demand!
We ain't stop or call for public inquiries.
Corruption runs deeper than a marginalized person's hatred for the cops.
Keeping progress under advisory.
Killing ourselves cause this **** is as complex as tangled knots.

Pride leaves one apathetic.
Defective and Unapologetic.
Pride can deafen ears and silence reason.
Pride is deceitful, makes you feel strong but ends up leaving you weakened.
Pride is a snake that will consume you.
If you want to change; find humility it will guide you.

To break on through to the other side.
Open up the doors, leave that drama outside.
Your past doesn’t make you who you are.
How you choose to end your story is for you to decide!

Everything time you slip away,
I cannot take, I start to break.
Cause you make my mind race.
With these thoughts of lust,
And these thoughts of hate.
I swear without you, I go insane.
The monkeys are out of the barrel.
I can’t be hushed, I cannot taste.
Gotta shake this cage, and get away.

I… am a lost boy.
Without his Wendy.
Sail me to neverland,
To lose myself within the shadows
Lose myself in the land of plenty.

Finding myself hooked,
To materials, to you.
Even though you’re a crocodile,
I can’t help but to pursue.
I can’t help but to look,
Longingly like a crook.
I yearn for what I cannot attain.
Maybe that’s why you see me as a child.
I’m just a lost boy to you.

An object of disdain.
Perhaps I crave this pain?
The enjoyment of riding the waves,
Of the hurricane!

I… am a lost boy.
Without his Wendy.
Sail me to neverland,
To lose myself within the shadows
Lose myself in the land of plenty.

Some of the best rappers alive,
Yawl never heard of.
Some of my best friends I’ll never see again,
Went missing or got murdered.
Every day I tread water,
Ain’t got no life preserver.
Got built in strength yet still fragile,
Like a lavatera.
A gift passed on from era to era.
Like the bottled up emotions,
That one never spoke a word of.
Until like many I eventually exploded, was empty, so i fuelled my body with Henny.
****, now I gotta disorder.
Suicidal tendencies don’t discriminate or recognize borders.
And based on statistics I’d most likely end up an Alberta Warrior.
It might be the turn of the century,
Yet in terms of progress we haven’t even left the harbour.
My sister got in a bad accident yet it took hours to even see the doctor.
Had a concussion but they assumed she just consumed the fire water.
Almost lost another family member.
Because of the fact she was Indigenous,
The medical system didn’t even bother.

Through the trials and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight.

Even though there are days, I swear that the world grows darker.
Gotta watch out for that thief in the night,
Cause the devil ain’t no ordinary burglar.
He comes in all shapes and sizes,
Can present himself as vices.
Watched my fair share of those I loved,
Die from overdoses.
So, many holes to dig but not enough roses.
The snake even slithers his way into the services that are supposed to help us.
Maybe that’s why most cops don’t like us.
Cause they were struck by the devil’s virus!
Perhaps I’m just traumatized and on verge of becoming comatose.
Went to the doctor and was given an expensive trauma quote.
**** I meant medication.
Guess it’s cheaper to buy some dope.
Except I gotta deal with society viewing me as an abomination.
Either way I gotta pay to keep away these demons.
Wonder how long I’ll stay within this season?
I guess it could be worse?
I could be more like Job.
But comparing atrocities is as useful as counting crows.
Can’t dwell on these tragic comedies, I’d rather see the varied ways for hope.

Through the struggles and pain, I must maintain.
Got burdens and chains, that I must break.
No matter the terrain.
I gotta keep my head on straight

A solemn prayer given.
Somber times of silence.
Remember the last time you heard.
Sitting here waiting for answers.
Chaos envelopes, swarming around me.
Lost in the woods, feeling trapped.
It’s hard not to be discouraged.
On the brink.
Wonder when I will find sleep?
I long for rest.
A peace that surpasses all understanding.
Am I weak to question?
Should I even ask?
Holding out for a chance.
A miraculous miracle.
But sometimes they never come.
At least the way I hoped for or expected.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
But I’ve heard that is enough to move mountains.
Yet I struggle to move even myself.
Am I asking too much?
Or not enough?

Sometimes **** doesn’t go your way,
It’s like I prefer to make it harder on myself,
Cause I prefer to take the longest way.
Yet also gotta find time for self help, even if you’re;
Pressed for time every gosh **** day,
Never will hear me say the lords name in vain.
Even though I’m a sinner, I know there’s room for change.
And yes I’m a swearer; to my moms disdain.
But we all fall short, cause we’re all humane.
And until that final court day, I must maintain!
Cause I don’t do **** halfway!
Got to make the most of this life,
Even if it’s a bit risqué!

Go ahead and seize the day!
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Call it carpe diem,
Might just slide into your dm’s,
Might just sky dive next weekend!
Hell I might just start casting out demons!
Only God can take me,
Or get me kneeling.
I’m done being stuck in the mud!
It’s bout time for healing!
I’m done being suffocated,
It’s bout time I start breathing.
Give thanks and a prayer than dive back in the deep end.
To help others that be drowning.
Gotta make a stand for those,
condemned by the world.
Unwilling to lend a hand.
So, I gotta do my part to help them…

Go ahead and seize the day.
While also putting **** to bed.
Don’t want to be no slave.
Or give free space to those,
Trying to reside within your head!

Pinky ring slingers,
Watch as my brothers get put in slammers,
Watch as my brother’s get hung from swingers.
Every day, every week I hear cries and gospel singers.
Every day, every week I hear gun shots and tweakers.
Trauma runs deep, our community the titanic,
All we get is static from a government,
That watches along as we sink here.
Treating it like collages cause they hearts cold as winter.
Where our cries go in one ear than out the other ear.
If the Statue of Liberty was a person,
They’d probably evict her.
I guess one may say that,
Equity has become as real as flying reindeer.
It’s cute that some think they understand the pain here,
Just because they watched Naruto.
Now, that’s what I call taking a big leap sir!
But the truth is you’ll never understand kiddo.
You may be lost now, but so too was Nemo!
Just gotta accept it like the fact that,
Han first shot at Greedo.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

Yet ignorant ******* still can’t seem to fathom why we upset!
In fact the buggers uno reverse the subject.
Like they are the true victims,
Cause intersectionality displaces them.
Must really **** to be viewed as the problem?
Get over it darlin!
Tell me more about how it feels to not be pardoned for your skin!
****.
Straight up, Got ‘em.
Got they hands up but still shot em.
Got barely any food to eat, still robbed em.
May have been hit with a rock bottom.
But they still don’t know what it is to hit rock bottom!
So, shut up and **** on my *******.
***** I’m not playing,
***** I’m not joking!

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But we refuse to fix the broken toilets.
Flushing away the vulnerable.
**** a safety net.

Dealing with the same **** since existence,
But those in power keep their phones on silent.
Letting people fall through the cracks,
Thinking it’s priceless cause in their minds they’re worthless.

What came first?
A barren land or a barren mind?
Perhaps the two are intertwined!
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Perspective is a state by design.
While some of the confined become free.
Those of who are free can be confined.
Sometimes the cuffs come on even before the jail time.
Those who are blind may not be able to see,
But those who see can be also be blind to things.
Blind to hatred, tears, and blood.
Blind to anger, click bait, and floods.
So I ask.
What comes first?
Others or ourselves?
In a land with book stores, we are its shelves.
Holding onto things that eventually collect dust.
Scenarios once opened but now shut.
Yet many hang on still.
Unable to rebuild.
Perhaps they never gained the proper skills?
Raised by those who were ill.
Ill suited to fill their empty cups.
Ill suited to lift them up.
So again I ask?
What came first?
The barren land or the barren mind?
I hope you come to realize, that they can be intertwined.

I delight in weaknesses,
in insults,
in hardships,
in persecutions,
in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong

Thought I could do this alone,
But my pride made me prone.
I feel torn,
I feel worn,
Addiction attached to my mind,
Like a crown of thorns.
Got me numb and resisting those who are kind.
Limitations of the stubborn,
Deny the sunscreen, but gets surprised with the sun burn.
Locked in a prison,
Yet I was the one that walked in.
Couldn’t get enough of the ecstasy,
As I needed an excuse to continue,
Playing the victim.
What can I say?
Conformity got to be comfortable.
Is it possible to choose to be a slave?
A question that leaves a majority uncomfortable.


Chorus:
I gotta get out, gotta break free, from the sinkhole that be trying to swallow me.
The past tries to grip, tries to make me slip.
But I gotta remind myself that I’m no longer shackled to that ****.
I gotta remind myself of my merit,
That I’m not just a statistic,
I have a ******* name,
And people will hear it!

Society don’t think much bout me,
For awhile I believed what they told me.
Spiralled down dark paths that almost killed me.
Many nights I screamed for Creator to take me.
The weight overbearing,
Addiction overwhelming,
Collecting scars and mistakes that got me resenting,
That I was born possessing.
A skin tone unmatching.
A dominant society that found it revolting.
Yet had no problem ******* and ******,
The ones who loved me.
Left to watch as many of them died in front of me.
No wonder I crave the needle,
The smoke,
The drink
The pills
The coke,
Because when I die I can say to them don’t worry I’m coming.
Coming home;
A home that was robbed from me.

Chorus:
I gotta get out, gotta break free, from the sinkhole that be trying to swallow me.
The past tries to grip, tries to make me slip.
But I gotta remind myself that I’m no longer shackled to that ****.
I gotta remind myself of my merit,
That I’m not just a statistic,
I have a ******* name,
And people will hear it!

Outro:
Gotta come together and stand as one,
Fight against the trauma that leaves many wounded,
Like it was a bullet from a gun!
Gotta to fight the **** that is rooted,
In a society that remains stunned.

Verse 1:
Times slipping away,
Like pockets full of sand.
I am just a man,
Oh, I am just a man.
Someday you’ll understand.
Someday we’ll meet again.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Verse 2:
Every dog has his day,
All bones will decay.
The flesh will betray.
But no matter how fast one runs,
They can’t get away.
No, they can’t get away.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Verse 3:
The angels serenade,
Ashes entombed by clay.
Carried by a tear filled parade.
What a somber day,
What a somber day.
But don’t worry child; it’ll be okay.
It’ll be okay.

Bridge:
You can hold me in your heart,
I’ll never let go,
Till we meet again,
Down the road.

Chorus:
It’s the circle of life son,
Your time has just begun.
It’s the circle of life son,
And it’s looks like I am done.

Can’t you end this suffrage?
The pain runs deep,
Can’t be mended by any bandage.
I just want to sleep,
But can’t escape this *******!
Ran out tears to weep,
Yet I still got all this baggage!

I’m losing my vision,
I’m losing my wisdom,
Stuck within this prison.
Is there a lesson?
To my pain?
Is there a lesson?
Can’t even remain sane.

I see the cliff coming,
But I can’t stop the mileage.
Trapped between two worlds,
Like I’m Hana Montana and Miley Cyrus.
I see the end coming,
But I can’t control even control the climate.
My minds overloaded,
Can’t it be like my phone and be put on silent?
I’m tired of this ****,
But forget it, I’m just biased.
And I wanna go home,
But cancer makes no compromises.
Life just might be a *****,
Don’t mind me,
I’m just not fond of surprises.

Don’t know how much time I got left,
Hope I’m right about what happens next.
But until my last breath,
I’ll make the most of it!

Even if I start,
losing my vision,
losing my wisdom,
Stuck within this prison.
Gotta see if there’s some lesson?
To my pain?
Wondering if there is a lesson?
Or if I’m just insane.

You indulge my senses,
Yet, Want for nothing,
**** the money and its interest.
Baby girl, are you angel?
Or a goddess?

Cause you got me not thinking clearly,
I want you near me.
I swear my heart just skipped a beat,
Blood pressure off the charts,
**** girl you got me weak!
Um, I’m not too sure what to say,
Cause I never felt this **** before.
Pardon my French,
But you’re as beautiful as the stars.
You remind me of Jojo,
Cause I could see us going on bizarre adventures.
Till we grow old and accidentally switch each others dentures.
Ewww.
But what’s love without the gross ****?
What’s love without the arguments,
The breaks without each other,
Two incomplete creatures,
A band of misfits?
What’s love without the occasional dysfunction?
It’s like trying to have means without production.
It’s like having electrical currents without magnetic induction.
In essence… girl…
You bring light to my darkness,
Yeah you are the peace to my destruction.

You indulge my senses,
Yet, Want for nothing,
**** the money and its interest.
Baby girl, are you angel?
Or a goddess?


I swear I’m not playing with you,
Are you playing with me?
This is some Shakespeare ****,
Cause you be taming this shrew.
Or perhaps I’m just dreaming,
Cause this **** just don’t feel real to me.
Perhaps it’s cause of my trauma?
Cause in life there’s always a catch.
And unless yawl a baseball player,
Ya gotta protect ya neck and ya honour.
With many going to jails in order to get a patch.
And the only hope many had was mommas prayers.
Hoping that we wouldn’t be murdered.
Thank God I’m alive,
Thank God for the strength when I felt discouraged.
And thank you for coming into my life,
And not seeing me as a burden.
You  saved my life,
Thank you for supporting me when I was hurting.

You indulge my senses,
Yet, Want for nothing,
**** the money and its interest.
Baby girl, are you angel?
Or a goddess?

Those faded schemes,
You think I wouldn’t see?
Those wicked lies,
Spoken by venomous tongues.
The wicked tears,
Imprisoned within.
Deadly facades,
Can’t even trust one’s own kin.

And… I….
Feel like I’m crashing!
And… I….
Feel like I’m suffocating!

I almost lost myself within the nonsense.
Almost lost myself, when I stayed silent.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my heart, when you crushed it.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my reason, when you manipulated it.

Your demented smile,
Rips apart my heart.
Left to watch.
Watch you dance around my emotions.
How long can I sustain this torment?
When will this toy break?
Than is discarded and forgotten!
How long till I fade into darkness?

And… I….
Feel like I’m crashing!
And… I….
Feel like I’m suffocating!

I almost lost myself within the nonsense.
Almost lost myself, when I stayed silent.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my heart, when you crushed it.
Almost faded into darkness.
Lost my reason, when you manipulated it.

And… I….
Feel like I’m crashing!
And… I….
Feel like I’m suffocating!

Turn the dial,
Stroke the flames.
Life’s a river,
I’m in denial,
Got no one else to blame.
Such a shame.
Yeah, such such a shame.

Left to sit in a pile…
Of my own waste,
It’s been awhile,
Since the mirror’s been turned,
And I’m left face to face.
With the weight and the guilt,
Once displaced.

Maybe I’m the bad guy, maybe I’m the stooge.
Maybe the reason for my hurt wasn’t you!
Maybe I’m the villain, maybe I’m the poison.
Maybe I’m the one who actually hurt you!
What do I do?
What can I do?
When…
I’m an wounded animal,
That only knows how to hurt.

Turn up the radio,
I don’t want to hear it.
Let me continue to dismiss the feelings.
And manipulate the scenario.
So, I stay in control and you submit.
But yeah I’m the victim.
You just don’t understand.
I’m the victim, I’m the ******.

Just let me wallow,
In my delusions.
Because I refuse to swallow.
The bitter truth.
That I just might be the pollution.
With a hate that has broken me beyond repair.
Yeah, it’s a despair that sours taste.

So, maybe I’m the bad guy, maybe I’m the stooge.
Maybe the reason for my hurt wasn’t you!
Maybe I’m the villain, maybe I’m the poison.
Maybe I’m the one who actually hurt you!
What do I do?
What can I do?
When…
I’m an wounded animal,
That only knows how to hurt.

Got my head in the clouds again,
Daydreaming of a life,
I could never live.
Love might as well be a fantasy.
I tried too hard to be like the covers I see on the magazines.
Grass seemed so much greener,
But in reality it was like gasoline.
That exploded in my face,
Guess I should’ve left the acting to those on the movie screens.

Stop, please. Get away from me. I don’t want no flash photography.
Should’ve never left my room.
Cause outside all I see is anxiety.
Shouldn’t have left my room.
Cause all I see is a critical society.

So, I float away.
I float away.
Head in the clouds.
Cause I can’t run away, run away.
So, I continue to float away,
Float away.

I’m feel like I’m always on low power mode,
Wonder when imma bout to shut down.
Medicine keeps me docile,
Haven’t been myself for awhile.
Broken hearted, shattered mind.
Daydreaming my life away.
Cause fantasy is more enticing.
Daydreaming my life away.
Cause I’m tired of fighting.

Stop, please. Get away from me. I don’t want no flash photography.
Should’ve never left my room.
Cause outside all I see is anxiety.
Shouldn’t have left my room.
Cause all I see is a critical society.

So, I float away.
I float away.
Head in the clouds.
Cause I can’t run away, run away.
So, I continue to float away,
Float away.

This ceiling; the only thing that keeps me sheltered.
I’m bleeding; internally deceiving.
If there is a heaven, will I be raptured?
Left inside the room,
Am I crazy? Or are the walls talking too?
The voices; oh the idle chatter.
They treat me like a pest,
Quick go get the pastor.
Oh, fair maiden; where did you go?
Can’t escape the chains,
Can’t escape your role?
All you need is a push,
Down the rabbit hole.

Now I don’t know?
What is the right answer?
Oh, I don’t know?
All I see is cancer.

Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.
Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.

Nothing the doctors can do.
Human nature is cruel.
We treat our pets better.
Society might as well be a zoo.
But there’s nothing we can do.
But sit and wait for the inevitable.
Because in reality there is no time travel;
Or Doctor Who!

Now I don’t know?
What is the right answer?
Oh, I don’t know?
All I see is cancer.

Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.
Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.

Run, Run.
As fast as you can.
But you can’t escape,
The reapers hand.

Run, Run.
As fast as you can.
But you can’t escape,
The reapers hand.

Now I don’t know?
What is the right answer?
Oh, I don’t know?
All I see is cancer.

Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.
Slowly eating away, painfully till I fade away.

Come and have some tea with me,
Don’t be afraid, you’ll be okay.
Fears are imaginary, indulge in the decay.
Pass the crumpets to the invisible dead.
Don’t want to upset the spirits, pinhead.
Every scenario is like a dance on fibreglass.
Weighted shoes, the burdens, gotta relax.
If you’re not careful, you’ll start to make cracks.
Tiptoe around the subject,
Like it’s your first time.
Deflect the conflict of an unstable mind.

Can’t you see we are stuck within a padded cell.
What if reality was actually hell?
What is real? It’s hard to tell!

All around the room, a faded memory.
Underneath the cobwebs is where trauma blooms.
All around the room, a jaded sensory.
A glitch in system, that can be triggered by smells of perfume.
Don’t want to return to that time of gloom.

To weak to stop it,
Pressure builds,
Can’t contain what’s within the closet.
To numb to move,
All I can do is watch it.
Hurt by the one’s I thought I trusted.
Thought I’d be over it now,
But I’m still left disgusted.
The shivers are reminder,
A reminder that I lost it.

All around the room, a faded memory.
Underneath the cobwebs is where trauma blooms.
All around the room, a jaded sensory.
A glitch in system, that can be triggered by smells of perfume.
Don’t want to return to that time of gloom.

Can’t you see we are stuck within a padded cell.
What if reality was actually hell?
What is real? It’s hard to tell!

Sometimes I feel like therapists are like vampires,
They **** me dry.
Sometimes the best intentions,
Lead to the worst of times.
Gotta keep the industry moving,
If you can’t keep up you’re left behind.
Everything is a product,
But what about the products with compromised designs?
If you can’t understand what I’m saying,
Read in between the lines.

All around the room, a faded memory.
Underneath the cobwebs is where trauma blooms.
All around the room, a jaded sensory.
A glitch in system, that can be triggered by smells of perfume.
Don’t want to return to that time of gloom.

Can’t you see we are stuck within a padded cell.
What if reality was actually hell?
What is real? It’s hard to tell!

Verse 1:

I wish I could say no strings attached,
But I’m a tangled mess.
Come into my playhouse, baby.
Ignore the webs.
Step into the minefield,
That was once my head.
I’m a darkened canvas,
But my visions red.
So, best tuck yourself in tightly,
Before going to bed.
You don’t want to tempt the monsters,
Who haven’t been fed.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Verse 2:
Now I’m gunning for you.
Twisted love is like pins and needles.
You’re the doll, I’m the voodoo.
I’m coming for you.
Dark afflictions baby, I crave for you.
Would savour the flesh,
Would savour each taste.
Till there’s nothing left,
Except for cake.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

Bridge:
I’m a beast with no beauty.
No curse on me.
I’m a beast with no beauty.
Uncaged and hungry.

Pre-chorus:
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)
(Da-dum, da-dum, da-la-ta-dum)

Chorus:
The traps been set, there’s no escape.
The illusions of love; the reality of hate.
Distorted beauty, masks intentions.
The powder of a bullet, triggers ignition.

My eyes are dotted,
My lips are sown.
The needle digs deep,
My blood runs cold.
Trickling down.
(Drip, drip)
Time moves on,
(Tick, tick)
The room is spinning.
I’m about to slip.

(Into madness, into madness)

My soul has been Eviscerated.
I don’t have my joystick,
I’ve lost control.
I used to dance to my own beat,
Should have held on.
But what can you expect from a doll?
Could be torn to shreds,
And try to patch me back up,
But I’ll never be whole.
After all…
If one’s innocence dies,
Can they truly grow old?

My eyes are dotted,
My lips are sown.
The needle digs deep,
My blood runs cold.
Trickling down.
(Drip, drip)
Time moves on,
(Tick, tick)
The room is spinning.
I’m about to slip.

(Into madness, into madness)

The burdens bare,
Naked without a care.
Empty & incomplete.
Because life ain’t fair.
A blank stare that engulfs,
And consumes like a black hole.
That dead expression,
That traps all within its grasp, like a sink hole.

My eyes are dotted,
My lips are sown.
The needle digs deep,
My blood runs cold.
Trickling down.
(Drip, drip)
Time moves on,
(Tick, tick)
The room is spinning.
I’m about to slip.

(Into madness, into madness)

Draped in the Dior,
Gold diggers treat me like I’m Superman,
But I ain’t their saviour.
Materialism has turned some into caveman’s.
Entitled Karen’s that scream for the manager.
******* unenlightened specimens.
Dimes thinking they diamonds…
Yeah, diamonds from the dollar store.
Don’t look now, Donald Sutherland!
Affairs don’t fair well, at least for the common man.
Where it’ll leave em more down under than an a Australian.
And if a baby come in the picture,
It’ll cost ya just ask Nick Cannon.
Gotta keep that 100 acre wood in check,
& definitely don’t forget to protect ya neck.
Uh…
******* think I’m eeyore,
These ****** named sally;
Don’t know **** outside a seashore.
If they only knew;
I stemmed more hams than Seymour.
I may not understand the matters of the heart,
But I do understand it’s all the same in the dark.
Smell the blood in the water,
Yeah baby I’m the shark.
But before things get to serious,
Like a good old sailor I will depart.
Because I’m A most wanted man, like Phillip Hoffman.
That will never lose their decorum, unlike Roseanne.
Because I’ve witnessed worse ****,
Than x-mans last stand.
******* think I’m ludicrous.
Although I’ve had good chicks and bad chicks,
I believe that the comparison is superfluous.
Also, I’m not that fast nor furious!
But I am on the cusp of greatness,
While others are stuck in stasis.
The same ones whose words,
Are more cheap than Payless.
******* be like Betty Botter,
They be bitter and bother brothers.
That butter em up till they toast.
Should’ve listened to the warnings of my mother.
But it’s hard when you’re pride, not the only thing being stroked.
****, gotta watch out for ***’s and robbers.
Gotta watch out, because consequences have a cost.

I don’t want to surrender,
But I’m falling down the rabbit hole,
Like Alice, but this ain’t no wonderland.
Tell me can you understand?

My feet are weak,
My head is numb.
My heart is bleeding out.
Can’t see the sun.
The darkness never sleeps.
My eyes grow weary.
My ears are deaf.
The only thing left is mouth.
Tell me can you hear me?
Can you hear me?


The pressure builds,
The feelings yearn.
The demons are attacking.
Knocking me around.
Taking turns.
As spin outta control.
All I can think is…
How do I stop the hurt?
Can I make this work?

I don’t want to surrender,
But I’m falling down the rabbit hole,
Like Alice, but this ain’t no wonderland.
Tell me can you understand?

They be crying to me,
They be fighting the heat,
Think i’ll let it slide,
Must be out they mind.
Take a seat.

They be crying to me,
Ain’t got no time,
Ain’t got no beef,
Muddying the carpets,
Prepare for cleats.

Can’t handle the heat,
Get the **** out the kitchen.
Watching em sweat & pant, looking more purple than a beet.
Tucking and rolling, didn’t I tell ya not to be slipping?
Out of pocket like pipen, taking a retreat.
Think ya was French, pardon my disposition.
Whilst soldiers die in the trenches,
Clout rappers do what they can to attain attention.
But when ***** gets too real they pull a takashi,
To avoid 69 years in detention.
****.
What the **** happened?
Tell me what happened?

They be crying to me,
They be fighting the heat,
Think i’ll let it slide,
Must be out they mind.
Take a seat.

They be crying to me,
Ain’t got no time,
Ain’t got no beef,
Muddying the carpets,
Prepare for cleats.

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

The hatred pierces the veil,
Cross bearing down, grab the nails!
A savage that must be kept sterile.
Internal sin got me feeling like the devil!
Drinking fire water by the barrel.
Thorns digging into the brain, father I’ve failed.
Feel like I’m in a spiral about to go down in flames like I’m Spyro.
The angry be boiling, got me toiling, off the rail.
Lost without morals, feeling as useless as a broken arrow.
Spear slides in the ribs, got me pale.
Bleeding out, pleading out, faith is frail.
Drowning in the deep, bought to exhale.
Grasping, begging, as onlookers watch me flail.
Arms spread out like a scale.
Will I prevail or Peril?

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

Spat in the face because of my race.
Jeered by people that never had a taste.
Never had to risk, never had to face.
Trauma that is interlaced.
With people being murdered or go missing without a trace.
Jeered by people that never had their history erased.
Who always had a place, always had a plate.
Have you even seen the over representation rates?
For goodness sakes!
Told to get over it as we are getting maced.
Told to get over it as we are being disgraced.
Told to get over it as we are being *****.
With the inner voice becoming internalized hate.
And toxic cycles not hitting the breaks.
Simply because people aren’t willing to embrace!
Simply because religious zealots convinced society that we aren’t loved by Christ.
To those religious zealots I say; you obviously don’t know **** about Christ!

The voices in the mind are a poison,
Internalized oppression taking away what was not already stolen.
The voices seep in, even when I be dozing.
Becoming a nightmare turned reality,
No wonder why I’m broken.

I…
Am torn inside.
I….
Am lost and cannot hide…
And I…
Feel cursed.
Can I be rebirthed?
Is it too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth?


I…
Am torn inside
I…
Am lost and cannot hide…
And I…
Cannot escape.
Cannot face.
Cannot relate.
This criminal mind,
That is fuelled by hate.
Wondering if it’s too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!
Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!

I…
Am a slave.
I…
Am trapped in what I’ve made!
And I…
Wish I could trade.
The sins that weigh,
On my heart that keep me dismayed.
Is too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

I…
Am ashamed.
I…
Am drained and starting to decay.
And I’m…
Not sure I can sustain,
Can contain.
This ******* pain!
Is it too late?
To cure the hurt?
When I…
Feel like I have no worth!

Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!
Oh, I…
Need a sweet release,
My mind is chained,
And so are my feet!