Charmour

Charmour 7d

Dying...

She who is afraid of sharp things
Who's afraid of needle
Who's afraid of being physically hurt
Who's afraid of getting cuts
Who cries on the smallest invisible cut
Who tries to protect herself from getting hurt
Who can't stand blood
Who's afraid of dying
Who wants to live
Who wants to explore
Who wants to be lively
Who wants to be happy
Who finds happiness in the smallest things
Is now cutting herself
Just to know that she's alive
Just to know she isn't dead
Just to feel relieved
Just to escape her life
Just to bleed all the pain out

#dying #pain #sad #trauma #bleed #selfharm

Charmour 7d

Crave

I crave for their affection
I crave for their love
I crave for their appreciation
I crave for them to love me back
I crave for them to be there for me
I crave for there to notice me
I crave for them to listen to me
I crave for their time
I crave for them to stop comparing me with my brother
I crave for the things i know I'll never get
To atleast be happy with me
But it's not gonna happen
I know it won't

I want them to love me back....

#unloved #sad

Charmour 7d

Anxiety..

I keep on getting anxious
Every second,
I try to hide it behind my smile
I try to be happy
But it just doesn't seem to stop
I started skipping meals
Not once,
Sometimes I don't eat at all
Under the table,
My shaking legs
Sleepless nights,
Tossing and turning
Cutting people off
Talking less and less
Not getting out of my room
It just seems to grow and never stop
I don't even know how do I explain this feeling
It's just killing me inside
Slowly enough
For them to not notice....

It doesn't seem to stop...

#anxiety #trauma #overwhelm #selfdoubt #tryingtoohard

Charmour May 22

Trying not to remember :(

I never knew touching like that was a thing
It felt disgusting
It still does
I still remember it way too clearly
I was 5
It still haunts the f**k out of me
Never had the courage to tell anyone abt it
But I can still feel his hands on me
Touching me
But I couldn't do anything
I was helpless
still am
Didn't know anything abt it
Didn't know how to react
After all this I live in the same house
Acting like i don't remember it
While I feel his hand all over me every second

He touched me....he wasn't supposed too..

#childhood #trauma #sad #abuse #inappropriate #badtouch

Charmour May 21

Kisses..!

"I need to kiss him soo badly
One of those kisses
Where I'm pressing against him as much as possible
And my hands are in his hair
and movie down to his back
Clutching to him in any way I can
Kissing him as deeply as possible
Thinking he's mine, mine, mine"

#kissinghim #love #him #kisses #flustered

Charmour May 21

They destroyed me

How can they pretend like nothing happened...
Like they never said they regret giving birth to me
Like it never happened
But im crying every night
Till I can't breath
Cursing my existence
Blaming myself for everything
How do I tell them
Their words are killing me every second
How do I tell me
I force a stupid smile ever time I'm abt to cry
How do I tell them
They destroyed me in every possible way

#parents #unloved #poem #unnoticed #childhood #trauma

Charmour May 21

Touch?

I still remember his hands on me
Touching me everywhere
Everywhere he shouldn't
I still live under the same roof as him
Acting like it never happened
Acting like a loving family
But still I feel his hands on me
I told my mom
She knew everything
Yet nothing ever happened
Yet I sleep crying cuz I feel his hands on me

#childhood #trauma #abused #child #poem