When the depression hits
I suddenly become empty
It's like the world around me has stopped spinning
Life becomes dull
And at this point
I would do anything to feel something
Because the nothing is killing me
But then after awhile
When the nightmares start to fade
And my world resumes its rotation
All of the emotions start rushing back
And at this point
I would do anything to go back to feeling
Nothing

My question isn't
When do I start?
But rather
When do I end?

Do you know what it's like
Not knowing what's fake
And what's real
Sitting all alone in a dark room
Shaking
Having creatures tear open your skin
Yet not having a mark on you
Hearing voices screaming
Pounding on the walls
Yet being in complete and utter silence
No you don't
So shut the **** up

I just want to be held
To be loved
And cherished
I just don't want to be alone anymore

Take a walk through my head
Listen to my thoughts
Spend a day in my shoes
You'd start drinking
Smoking
*******
Anything to make it stop

I have nightmares
And not the kind that leave
Once you wake up
The kind that follow you everywhere

My body smells of ash
Because I one had this fire
That consumed me
And left nothing else
But ash